The Funny Side of Religion

Tyler MacDurden

Choice quote from this instalment:

Being lectured about what constitutes a traditional marriage by a Mormon is a bit like being scolded for loitering... BY A CRACK WHORE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E4M39FRIGc

Turtwig

Not sure where on earth to post in A&A this as this has got to be the most bizarre video (religion-wise) I have come across on youtube.
Video speaks for itself...

*Warning May Contain*
*Weirdness, Poe's Law, Scary User comments,Operation Teapot*

To Arms!

Sam Vimes

Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god she knows the plan!!!

ABORT!!!

cavedave

Texas bans marriage story here

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Not exactly religion but still pretty funny.

robindch

cavedave wrote: »

Not exactly religion but still pretty funny.

Couldn't help but think of this wikipedia article.

The Mad Hatter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8Xox174PXA

So Mr Deity follows up one of their best (Identity Crisis) with one of their worst. Plenty of opportunity here for commenting on the biblical treatment of women, but instead what do we get? Bland stereotypes and hackneyed jokes about clothes. *sigh*

sink

I was just scanning through the latest issue of Alive! just out of curiosity and to my suprise I actually got a laugh out of it. Their attempt at satire was unsuccesful in presenting a sound argument against empirisism, rather ironically it showed their complete lack of one.

Alive! wrote:

Dear Nettles,

A bit of history for you. Years ago a group of us down here set out to eliminate from Western culture all thought or mention of Him above, along with his Son.
A staggering ambition, you’ll agree, but we’ve had phenomenal success so far. The challenge today is to keep up the momentum.
The team in charge of the project decided to take it step by step, creating as little fuss as possible, provoking no strong reaction.
Our key tactic was to target the human mind, to shut it down if possible.
Let me explain. The major problem with the human mind, as far as we’re concerned, is that it always wants to grapple with the big issues, it wants answers to the big questions.
Questions like, “Has life any real meaning or purpose”, “Is death the end of everything?”, “How do we come to be alive, and what is life?”, “What is freedom for?” and so on.
And they want answers that make sense and give them a purpose in life. But these questions always, always lead back to Him above.
We, then, had to find a way to stop them asking these questions. Or at least to vaccinate them against the answers.
How we pulled that off is a fascinating story, though I can’t go into it here. In one sentence, we changed the very meaning of the word ‘knowledge’.
We restricted the notion to what humans can know by their senses and measure by microscopes and experiments. It had to be “scientific”.
Science got results, with new inventions from the washing machine to the train, so it got great prestige.
Soon the wretches were thinking, “scientific knowledge is the only real knowledge.”
And since they couldn’t use science to get to know Him above or what was good or evil, or even the purpose of their own lives, these were no longer considered “real knowledge”.
Who would ever have believed that human beings would come to think that “real knowledge” was limited to material things? But there it is.

Yours anxiously,
Dumbag

BlitzKrieg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0daJoMRm1x4

give me a christian side hug baby!

Funglegunk

BlitzKrieg wrote: »

give me a christian side hug baby!

I am genuinely speechless... :eek:

maskofsanity

Ah the young turks! FTW

Gimme that christian side hug.. that christian side hug..

The Mad Hatter

GLaDOS

One lined responses to theist questions

mehfesto2

That Christian side-hug thing isn't real right?
I mean, he threatened to send her home in a coma if she hugged him, right?!

Coriolanus

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

Lol, wtf is that from?

5uspect

Nevore wrote: »

Lol, wtf is that from?

The Bible:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgment_of_Solomon

condra

robindch

A Cork priest has delivered a lusty rant about "the biggest shower of bastards on the planet". Unfortunately, he's referring to the Revenue.

http://www.rte.ie/news/2009/1202/odonovant.html

RTE wrote:

Senior church officials in the diocese of Cloyne are to meet later this morning after a priest in the diocese is reported to have branded Revenue Officials 'the biggest showers of bastards on the planet'. According to an article in today's Irish Star, Fr Tadhg O'Donovan, who is curate in the parish of Whitechurch, and a convicted tax evader also called them 'an almighty shower of c**ts'.

Fr O'Donovan is said to have made the comments to the newspaper after yesterday's publication of his name on a list 76 tax defaulters. It showed that he had made a settlement of €433,475 with the Revenue Commissioners. In March 2008, Fr O'Donovan was fined €6,000 at Cork Circuit Criminal Court on ten charges relating to his tax affairs - after agreeing a separate €213,000 settlement with the Revenue Commissioners.

A diocesan spokesman, Fr Will Bermingham, said he had read the content of the article in today's Irish Daily Star to the administrator of the Diocese of Cloyne, the Archbishop of Cashel and Emily, Dr Dermot Clifford, earlier this morning. Dr Clifford, he said, is taking it extremely seriously.

The Archbishop, together with Fr Bermingham, and two other senior church officials, including a canon solicitor, are due to meet at 11am. A statement is expected to be issued later this afternoon.

Genghiz Cohen

robindch wrote: »

A Cork priest has delivered a lulzy rant about "the biggest shower of bastards on the planet". Unfortunately, he's referring to the Revenue.

http://www.rte.ie/news/2009/1202/odonovant.html

Fixed

pH

Fr Tadhg O'Donovan, who is curate in the parish of Whitechurch, and a convicted tax evader also called them 'an almighty shower of c**ts'.

I'm crying with laughter here ... funniest thing I've read in a long while.

Galvasean

Why do priests keep cheese in their beds?

'cause kids willl do anything for Dairylea! :pac:

robindch

Came across a book the other day (was it here somewhere?) written in the 1950's by a lawyer from New York. It's called "The Irish and Catholic power" and takes a fairly jaundiced but interesting guide to what the church was up to in this country back then. The book is available as a PDF from here.

Bearing O'Donovan's outburst above, the following quote is worth a laugh:

Some Catholic in the Irish Times in the 50's wrote:

That a Catholic is not required under the moral law to make a complete income tax return is a commonplace of Catholic teaching. The reason lies in the realistic approach of the Church to all problems. Every Government knows that a considerable number of people who are liable will be able to avoid paying income tax either in whole or in part, and in consequence the rate is fixed at a higher figure than it would be if everybody paid his or her just share. The man who pays up is entitled in strict justice to take cognizance of this device; he should not be penalized for the evasion practiced by others, and he is morally entitled to hold back part of his income in fairness to himself. What part is a matter that will vary with individual cases, and it is here that the confessor must be consulted. People's circumstances differ so widely that no hard and fast rule can be laid down.

To the objection that to sign an incompleted declaration of income is to sign to a lie and therefore to sin, the answer is quite simple. It is that the authorities do not expect the complete declaration. They know that in practice virtually every taxpayer who is in a position to suppress part of his income will do so. Consequently, they are not in the formal sense "deceived" by an incomplete return and the essence of a lie is deceit.

"The reason lies in the realistic approach of the Church to all problems."??

Indeed!

Dades

robindch wrote: »

RTE wrote:

The Archbishop, together with Fr Bermingham, and two other senior church officials, including a canon solicitor, are due to meet at 11am. A statement is expected to be issued later this afternoon.

"Fr Tadhg O'Donovan was not technically evading his taxation obligations as his declarations were subject to 'mental reservation'. That is, when he stated to officials he had "nothing else to declare" he was mentally reserving the words "in that particular bank account".

Sam Vimes

robindch wrote: »

Came across a book the other day (was it here somewhere?) written in the 1950's by a lawyer from New York. It's called "The Irish and Catholic power" and takes a fairly jaundiced but interesting guide to what the church was up to in this country back then. The book is available as a PDF from here.

Bearing O'Donovan's outburst above, the following quote is worth a laugh:"The reason lies in the realistic approach of the Church to all problems."??

Indeed!

Wow! If there's one thing I never thought I'd see from the catholic church it's a justification of the form "it's ok because everybody's doing it" and "it's ok to lie if you think that the person you're lying to expects you to lie". And these people are supposed to be our guide to the absolute morals of god

robindch

Priest apologizes:

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/1202/breaking64.htm

Still no word on why he need to pay EUR650,000 in the first place. Are church-gate collections really that good in Cork?

Flamed Diving

Brethren and Sistren

It has come to my attention that not only are many of our members unable to correctly recite all of The Ten Commandments, but those who can remember even a few, invariably get the sequence wrong.

Let me set the record straight: The commandments do not come in a random sequence. With the exception of the 7th Commandment -- an obvious anomaly -- the Commandments appear in order of severity. The harsher the punishment, the closer to the top.

I hope this handy color chart will make the intrinsic beauty of God's word more comprehensible to all:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=16785

Remember now, without these our modern legal system would not exist...

:D:D

Flamed Diving

Just one example:

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Alert level: Severe

Punishment: Genocide. Entire cities with men, women, children and animals must be killed. (Deuteronomy 2:33-34, Numbers 21:34-35, 1 Samuel 15:2-3, Joshua 6:21. Joshua 10:40) In some cases you can keep the girls alive for raping. (Numbers 31:15-18)

Good 'ol God...

GLaDOS

From here
http://www.momlogic.com/2009/12/gay_man_protests_fashion_dont.php

5uspect

robindch wrote: »

Priest apologizes:

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/1202/breaking64.htm

Still no word on why he need to pay EUR650,000 in the first place. Are church-gate collections really that good in Cork?

Check out the bling:

Mark Hamill

Flamed Diving wrote: »

Brethren and Sistren

It has come to my attention that not only are many of our members unable to correctly recite all of The Ten Commandments, but those who can remember even a few, invariably get the sequence wrong.

Let me set the record straight: The commandments do not come in a random sequence. With the exception of the 7th Commandment -- an obvious anomaly -- the Commandments appear in order of severity. The harsher the punishment, the closer to the top.

I hope this handy color chart will make the intrinsic beauty of God's word more comprehensible to all:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=16785

Remember now, without these our modern legal system would not exist...

:D:D

I think its pretty scary that I the whole time I read the list of punishments in the link, I thought the site was satirical, it was only when I saw the address that I realised they where serious :eek:

Turtwig

Mark Hamill wrote: »

I think its pretty scary that I the whole time I read the list of punishments in the link, I thought the site was satirical, it was only when I saw the address that I realised they where serious :eek:

Quoi??

It's a parody, it has to be!!!??
Right!??