The Funny Side of Religion

rainbow kirby

Paparazzo

mehfesto wrote: »

...But this is just Brilliant!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55lUwezX5jo

Thanks, now I'm going around singing "eat the poo-poo"

ColmDawson

patrickk wrote: »

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=66408587&postcount=22484

strobe

I knew it!!!!

rainbow kirby

The Mad Hatter

Pomaire, Chile — By mid-morning, the line was already snaking through the narrow streets of Pomaire, about 85 miles west of Santiago, Chile. Hundreds of people — young and old, locals and foreigners, rich and poor — waited patiently for their turn to see the miracle now known as “The Toast.”

It was just days before that Andrés Alvarez, a local potter, gazed at the French toast his wife Martina had prepared for his breakfast. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“‘I say to Martina, I know this man,” Alvarez recalls, “this is the famous American computer man. I wonder why he is on my toast.”

The man, of course, is Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

The Story.

Sam Vimes

Wacker

Apologies for the bad language. Snip away should you deem it necessary.

ColmDawson

Deuteronomy 23:1
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Galvasean

ColmDawson wrote: »

Deuteronomy 23:1
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

First God gives me TC, now I cant get into heaven. What a bollocks (bad choice of words...).

ColmDawson

So some extremely faithful Christian who gets injured in the balls is denied heaven? Even by Yahweh's standards, that seems ridiculous.

Sam Vimes

ColmDawson wrote: »

So some extremely faithful Christian who gets injured in the balls is denied heaven? Even by Yahweh's standards, that seems ridiculous.

Not exactly. It's the Old Testament so it's referring to Jews not Christians and it's talking about being involved at the Synagogue, not going to heaven. Not that I'm excusing it, the god of the Old Testament is batty

rainbow kirby

Coriolanus

Daftendirekt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OchjFx3YgEE

Mark Hamill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8vp7ku47Qs

Wacker

Does this count as Idolatry?

ColmDawson

I don't really find this 'ha-ha' funny, but maybe it'll fit in this thread in a 'peculiar/absurd' sort of way: sportspeople (especially soccer players, given that it's the World Cup that's made me notice it) making the sign of the cross.
Eduardo (Portugal's goalkeeper) did it every time his team scored today. Why not give himself and his team — and the ineptitude of the Koreans — full credit for the events of the game?

Do players blessing themselves actually think god would favour them over their often equally sign-of-the-cross-happy opponents? Why would god even care, or think it fair to give one team the edge?

I suppose the players probably don't even consider that stuff, so this is mainly me getting an annoyance off my chest.

mehfesto

ColmDawson wrote: »

I don't really find this 'ha-ha' funny, but maybe it'll fit in this thread in a 'peculiar/absurd' sort of way: sportspeople (especially soccer players, given that it's the World Cup that's made me notice it) making the sign of the cross.
Eduardo (Portugal's goalkeeper) did it every time his team scored today. Why not give himself and his team — and the ineptitude of the Koreans — full credit for the events of the game?

Do players blessing themselves actually think god would favour them over their often equally sign-of-the-cross-happy opponents? Why would god even care, or think it fair to give one team the edge?

I suppose the players probably don't even consider that stuff, so this is mainly me getting an annoyance off my chest.

I always reckoned it was habit, tbh. Like Ian Wright putting his shirt on when on the pitch, Keane doing his wee tumble celebration or Schmeichel kicking the post before a kickout. A lot of player are religious, Im sure, but Id say it's just a superstitious/regime/OCD thing.

Watch Wimbledon this week. Tennis players are famously the worst for it!

MrPudding

ColmDawson wrote: »

I don't really find this 'ha-ha' funny, but maybe it'll fit in this thread in a 'peculiar/absurd' sort of way: sportspeople (especially soccer players, given that it's the World Cup that's made me notice it) making the sign of the cross.
Eduardo (Portugal's goalkeeper) did it every time his team scored today. Why not give himself and his team — and the ineptitude of the Koreans — full credit for the events of the game?

Do players blessing themselves actually think god would favour them over their often equally sign-of-the-cross-happy opponents? Why would god even care, or think it fair to give one team the edge?

I suppose the players probably don't even consider that stuff, so this is mainly me getting an annoyance off my chest.

I love this, the belief that their all powerful all loving infinitely good god won't lift a finger to stop thousands of innocent children from dying horrible deaths but will help them stick a few goals in the oppositions net. Deluded does not even come close. And even if he did, who in their right mind would consider that to be the act of a loving god? "Yeah, my god is awesome. He loves the footie, not so keen on the innocent kiddies though. Ah well." Morons.

MrP

Dades

Don't forget Kaka!



Though if I could play like him I'd thank Jebus too.

MrPudding

Dades wrote: »

Don't forget Kaka!



Though if I could play like him I'd thank Jebus too.

Sorry, I can't take anyone seriously when their name is the word French kids use for sh1t.

MrP

robindch

MrPudding wrote: »

Sorry, I can't take anyone seriously when their name is the word French kids use for sh1t.

Greeks and Russians do to. Prolly most of the other slavics too...

mehfesto

robindch wrote: »

Greeks and Russians do to. Prolly most of the other slavics too...

And Brazilian Portugese!
Watched the match with my Brazilian mates the other night. They HATE him. Cheered when he got sent off!

But it surprised me how much they were apathetic to religion - they communities had forced religious retreats during the summer!

But in keeping with the thread I'd thought I'd mention that they had 'Tom Hanking' competitions there...

ShooterSF

Big scary negative energy leaks out of concrete when it is shaped in the fashion of a motorway near a hill.

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/m3-has-created-negative-energy-say-tara-pagans-2229540.html

eoin5

ShooterSF wrote: »

Big scary negative energy leaks out of concrete when it is shaped in the fashion of a motorway near a hill.

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/m3-has-created-negative-energy-say-tara-pagans-2229540.html

The place certainly saps positive energy. Its an amazing part of our heritage but man is it boring. Your imagination can only do so much before your mind wanders and you become more interested in how many sheep ar on the hill or something.

mehfesto

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mLOUWl-L-s

Coriolanus

Robbed from AH



Oh, btw, it's a tshirt. Link is in the picture properties. I know I want one!

rainbow kirby

mehfesto

Can't find it on YouTube, so here's a transcription of Ross Noble's take on religions competing with each other.


"Seriously. How do you take Muslims seriously when their head guy is called a MUFTIE? They're asking for trouble there. And when they were going about making silly names for themselves, the Christians had devised Easter. They must have been kicking themselves.

'...They've got what?! A chocolate-giving Rabbit? Aw ****. We'll never beat that. That's a good one. Okay, what's our response'

'...How about we get... a Sausage Dog that pisses milkshakes?...'

'You what?!'

Well I just thought, y'know everyone likes Milkshakes. And Sausage Dogs.

...

'...(nervously)My milkshake brings Muslims to the yard and there like, it's better that yours...? ...No?'





Love 'im.If you don't know who he is, here's himself: (two small clips)




Cheeky Muslims:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOORvpiu4co

Stephen Hawking:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OmMfU2yrLQ