Childfree

Attol

objective wrote:

'

Its not too hard to understand, if people don't have children you can only live for yourself. There is no point in writing music or poetry, designing great works of architecture etc if there is not going to be anyone around to appreciate it.'

So everyone should have kids to worship your artistic talent? I see that as pretty damn selfish tbh.

dr.bollocko

Well, I did say I'm virile. Virility takes a lot of practice you know.

Cancer-chick

if u say so bollocko !!!

And id have to agree with attol that having a child for 'artistic' reasons so they can be here to appreciate our endeavours is nothing short of madness!

IMO there is NO reason to have a child unless u go into it with eyes WIDE open and wanting to be the best parent (and person) you can be..

Objective i dont think you have kids or you would know that anything less than that is selling a kid short .. really if u can send them out to the world well adjusted adults who dont s*** on other people .... having some career prospects and a sense of themselves then you are doing well ..

Very very strange point of yours imo objective !!!

KdjaCL

Sinead_g wrote:

Good evening,
Any other childfree out there by any chance?

I know we are a minority to be childfree and childless while being happy, but There ought to be others like me out there!!
Why do others make me feel guilty for this choice? Why can they not respect it and let me be?

Does anyone know any organizations that can help me. I'd like to meet other childfree, I wouldn't feel so alone then..

I really feel discriminated against.
Thank you in advance for your help

Sinead

Dont get this... your childfree and happy yet posting on an internet site looking for freinds with the same happy ideals you have.

I have kids but i was in the pub when you posted this


kdjac

simu

"I really feel discriminated against".

You're not exactly black in the pre civil rights USA or anything, are you? People make annoying comments all the time. If it's not about children or the lack thereof, it'll be sth else. Get over it tbh.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

simu wrote:

"I really feel discriminated against".

You're not exactly black in the pre civil rights USA or anything, are you? People make annoying comments all the time. If it's not about children or the lack thereof, it'll be sth else. Get over it tbh.

i'm sure many black people were told to get over it in the Usa simu, and many homosexuals in modern times

shame on you... that thing you have growing inside you is clouding your judgment.

monkeyfudge

Does creating an army of genetically engineered atomic monkey men in your basement count as childfree?

Because if it does.. then yes I am childfree.

simu

Depends how much of your own dna you contributed

Kintarō Hattori

Hmnnn at one stage I was certain I wanted to have kids, but these days I'm not so sure. I like it being just me and the missus and I'm not sure I want anything to change that.

Jigsaw

I have no kids, but one day there is nothing I'd love more. All in good time though.

I respect the fact that others will have differing opinions.

Kernel

Sinead_g wrote:

When a friend came to me the weekend befor elast telling me she was pregnant after 5 YEARS of trying, I was crying! I was so happy for her! And she glows since she heard the fantastic news.

I think parents have made a choice as well. They wanted to fulfill their lives with children. I never said it was wrong, I have never judged them for doing so. I am happy for them just because they are. I am asking the same thing in return: that's fair. But unfortunately, it's not always the case

Aw Sinead, you are obviously having issues about the lack of continuity of your genetic lineage. Don't worry, someday you will find a man and reproduce before your womb turns to a dry husk and you end up a bitter lonely oul wan living with 12 cats. All you like-minded (ie. self deluded) chicks will probably be the same, but starting threads about how happy you are without sprogs, and not at all jealous of your friends and their families, is just too transparent to resist. *kisses*

ellenmelon

im only 22 but ive known for a looong time that i will never have kids. i just dont want to. much to the distress of my mother who is all into the baby stuff (shes a midwife..). i dont dislike kids (any that scream for great lengths of time are the exception) its just i dont feel this need to procreate that other people have. i like holding babies but LOVE handing them back lol. as another poster was saying, in the states there is a really big child intolerant culture which is quite poisonous. they get nasty and personal and just generally b!tchy.fair enough, be childfree but dont judge people that made the choice to have kids!

when the nurse from the health service at my college gave a talk recently about all that fun stuff.."you're leaving home and you've got loads of freedom" etc etc(ive not lived at home since i was 18..)and she was saying that we have to be careful as there are some STI's that can make you infertile and unable to have children. being the comedian i am,i was like "woohoo!"..evil thing to do, i know. (i know sti's arent to be taken lightly..they are really horrible things to have)

Nightwish

I'm 23 and I've always known I don't want kids. I have no maternal instincts, and the thought of pregnancy and raising a child is my worst nightmare. I am happy for others having kids, but I don't like the self righteousness that some parents have. You know the whole "my child is holier than thou" and "We've created a miracle"...god that makes me want to vomit.

Sinead_g

Kernel wrote:

Aw Sinead, you are obviously having issues about the lack of continuity of your genetic lineage. Don't worry, someday you will find a man and reproduce before your womb turns to a dry husk and you end up a bitter lonely oul wan living with 12 cats. All you like-minded (ie. self deluded) chicks will probably be the same, but starting threads about how happy you are without sprogs, and not at all jealous of your friends and their families, is just too transparent to resist. *kisses*

YOu make me laugh a lot. YOu think you know people. I am very happily married for years now, and my man doesn't want kids either. He is wonderful and we have a fusional relationship for years now. I am happy, ARE YOU??
Only unhappy really jealous people are like you. Good luck with yourself

RainyDay

Jigsaw wrote:

I have no kids, but one day there is nothing I'd love more. All in good time though.

Just a quick note of caution based on personal experience - When you get round to your 'good time', nature may have different ideas. 20% of couples have difficulties with fertility. I became a parent at 38 (about 5 years older than I would have hoped to be) having assumed that one we stopped messing around and travelling the world, the babies would come flying out on demand.

Naturally, I fully respect the decision not to have kids...

Black Swan

Young, in no hurry, and keeping my options open. Of course, it's fun to practice!

Siogfinsceal

Sinead G fasir play to you I too am childfree I have never ever wanted children and am so bloody sick of hearing comments about it - my own mother is disgusted by the fact that I dont want kids. I am sick of people saying to me 'ah but you will change your mind' - no, i wont I am 26 and at this stage I know what I want in life. I do not and never will like babies. They are not cute, I do not wish I had one and it is and should be perfectly acceptable for a woman to decide she doesnt want kids. The thoughts of having to give up all ths fun things in life to carry around a screaming mass is a nightmare to me. i frequently leave shops as I cant tolerate listening to children roaring crying at the top of their lungs while stressed out parents try to placate them. A firnd of mine is 30, getting married next year and her plans are then to get pregnant and buy a sensible family car - to9 me that sounds like a nightmare if my future looked that depressing I think Id want to check out now.
I can appreciate this is my point of view but like Sinead G I often feel discriminated against for not wanting kids

When I watch desperate housewives I always think 'If I was the character Lynette with 5 screaming phsychotic kids and lazy husband id top myself'

John Mason

ABSOLUTELY CHILDFREE AND HAPPY. I AM SICK TO DEATH OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT TIME IS TICKING ON ............ON PARTICULAR "FRIEND" SAID SHE COULD LEND ME A TURKEY BASTER AND SHE WOULD FIND SOMEONE TO FILL IT FOR ME.

sorry rant over, i think people with children are misberable and hate their lives and they hate to see other people out enjoying life, sleeping until 2pm on sunday or going out without the worry of a babysitter - FECK OFF I SAY TO ALL YOU PEOPLE

Siogfinsceal

i hate being called selfish and told its 'unnatural' to have kids. So many women have kids to please the husband and then go back to work leaving teh sprog in a creche 5 days a week and seeing it for an hour a day (not saying all mothers are like this so don't take offense but I know 2 \girls who literals had kids to keep a wealthy husband happy and never see them and they are rich enough to pay someone to mind them all the time). I know another girl who has 2 kids and has no interest in them apart from using them to extract ludicris amounts of money from the father and the government.

Its sad to see that in this day and age ireland still sees womens role to get married settle down and have kids v depressing! also sad that there are women in poor areas feeling that having kids in order to get house off the government is the best option!

HashSlinging

Funny! out of all my mates im the only one who has a young family, and I get the reverse of what Sinead_g gets.

nesf

I don't see what the big deal is, if you don't want kids cool but it's not exactly like you get discriminated against for not having them. You don't get passed over for jobs because you don't have kids (the opposite is more likely to happen and it's still unlikely).

I can see hassle from your parents being unavoidable but if your friends are giving you hassle over you choosing to not have kids it's time to get new friends tbh.

Glowing

Just out of interest, are there any people here who regret having kids, or who swore that they'd be childfree for ever, and who have now have a football teams worth?

seamus

I think in this country a lot of the issue stems from the fact that the older generation just don't take young womens', "I don't want kids ever" assertion very strongly. Around the early 30s, there is a very real "kick" that many women feel as regards having kids, and women who would previously have totally rejected the idea, become raging baby maniacs.
This is exacerbated if the woman is in a stable, loving relationship.
But by the same token, many women either don't give in to this, or never feel it.

A woman in her 40's asserting her position on it will be taken more seriously than an 18-year-old girl, as the 18 year old hasn't had to go through the body clock, and the other various physiologicial changes our poor ladies have to deal with in their twenties.

I think younger people are more tolerant of people's choices, though not having any close friends or family with children doesn't give me much experience of it.

Nature Boy

It's the same with a lot of things. If you don't lead your life the same way as most people, look the same way etc then you're deemed to be weird or a lower form of life. It's fairly weak of people to think less of someone just cos they've made different choices to them.

I thought I didn't want kids once but now I know I will one day. I have friends that never want to have any kids, there's no big deal with that. It's a personal choice.

I can't believe that people call you selfish or say you're not contributing to society just cos you don't want kids. I don't even know where to start saying how wrong they are!

ellenmelon

seamus wrote:

I think in this country a lot of the issue stems from the fact that the older generation just don't take young womens', "I don't want kids ever" assertion very strongly. Around the early 30s, there is a very real "kick" that many women feel as regards having kids, and women who would previously have totally rejected the idea, become raging baby maniacs.
This is exacerbated if the woman is in a stable, loving relationship.
But by the same token, many women either don't give in to this, or never feel it.

A woman in her 40's asserting her position on it will be taken more seriously than an 18-year-old girl, as the 18 year old hasn't had to go through the body clock, and the other various physiologicial changes our poor ladies have to deal with in their twenties.

I think younger people are more tolerant of people's choices, though not having any close friends or family with children doesn't give me much experience of it.

(replied to your post cause it was in relation to what i wanted to say..)

if you were like me, 22 (young in some respects, yes) and with a mum as a midwife, you would have even MORE reason not to have kids. i mean WTF. the amount of birth videos ive seen (by mistake mostly..when mum was cueing them up for her antenatal classes) and other info that ive been exposed to for the last however long constantly reinforces the decision to not have kids. EVAH! lol. the horrible terrible pain. ive said it for the last seven years and i doubt ill change my mind now.. but there definately is that hormonal and emotional change when you hit 30 and you realise you want to have children with your husband or long term partner. my mum used to say to me when i was younger that i would be the same but i still highly doubt it. especially with the career that i am going to get into (theatre/music industry), it wouldnt be the best for kids to be brought into..

NextSteps

Sinead_g wrote:

YOu make me laugh a lot. YOu think you know people. I am very happily married for years now, and my man doesn't want kids either. He is wonderful and we have a fusional relationship for years now. I am happy, ARE YOU??
Only unhappy really jealous people are like you. Good luck with yourself

Uh, Sinéad, I think that was a joke. Maybe tolerance is needed on both ides of this debate!

nesf

ellenmelon wrote:

(replied to your post cause it was in relation to what i wanted to say..)

if you were like me, 22 (young in some respects, yes) and with a mum as a midwife, you would have even MORE reason not to have kids. i mean WTF. the amount of birth videos ive seen (by mistake mostly..when mum was cueing them up for her antenatal classes) and other info that ive been exposed to for the last however long constantly reinforces the decision to not have kids. EVAH! lol. the horrible terrible pain. ive said it for the last seven years and i doubt ill change my mind now.. but there definately is that hormonal and emotional change when you hit 30 and you realise you want to have children with your husband or long term partner. my mum used to say to me when i was younger that i would be the same but i still highly doubt it. especially with the career that i am going to get into (theatre/music industry), it wouldnt be the best for kids to be brought into..

I don't think that at 22 you should be worried about having kids in your 30s tbh. Better to live in the moment and deal with life as it is rather than to worry about what may be.

Sinead_g

UB wrote:

Uh, Sinéad, I think that was a joke. Maybe tolerance is needed on both ides of this debate!

I get so many (bad) jokes for so long that I can be allergic to all jokes sometimes as far as my choice of staying childfree is concerned.
If this is a real joke this time, then I guess I am sorry. No hard feelings

But for information, people can be really cruel when they don't understand or don't try to understand what I try to say...

nesf

Sinead_g wrote:

But for information, people can be really cruel when they don't understand or don't try to understand what I try to say...

Do you talk about wanting to be childfree a lot or is it something you only talk about when asked? It's just that I can see some people getting a little worked up if you talked about the benefits of being childfree in front of them. (not that they are entitled to get worked up over it)

Burning Eclipse

irishbird wrote:

sorry rant over, i think people with children are misberable and hate their lives and they hate to see other people out enjoying life, sleeping until 2pm on sunday or going out without the worry of a babysitter - FECK OFF I SAY TO ALL YOU PEOPLE

Sorry... What? Mass generalisations ftw eh?

Were your parents miserable and did they hate their lives? If they were, perhaps it was because of you, and that's why you're so anti having children?