Childfree

InFront

I personally can't wait to have children (i.e. for my my future wife to have children; no forceps for me, thank you very much:p ). I really can't imagine facing a half century or more of marriage and not having kids in the meantime, but maybe that's just me.

I don't think that at 22 you should be worried about having kids in your 30s tbh. Better to live in the moment and deal with life as it is rather than to worry about what may be.

I don't agree I think there's a lot to be said for having kids at a young age. My Mother had five kids by 30, took about a 15 year career break, and at 50 she's back in her job with all her kids in college or doing careers of their own. If given the opportunity, I'd rather be the father of boisterous, sports mad teenagers whose ass I could kick on the football field in my thirties as opposed to in my fifties watching on the sidelines. Not that I'm in favour of those teenage pregnancies either though!

nesf

InFront wrote:

I don't agree I think there's a lot to be said for having kids at a young age. My Mother had five kids by 30, took about a 15 year career break, and at 50 she's back in her job with all her kids in college or doing careers of their own. If given the opportunity, I'd rather be the father of boisterous, sports mad teenagers whose ass I could kick on the football field in my thirties as opposed to in my fifties watching on the sidelines. Not that I'm in favour of those teenage pregnancies either though!

I agree with you, I've a kid and I'm 25, but she seemed to be talking about the whole having kids at 30 thing which was what I was replying to.


Personally, I'd prefer to have kids when I've the energy to deal with it. The idea of having kids in my 40s scares me a little. It's quite a tiring experience.

Sinead_g

nesf wrote:

Do you talk about wanting to be childfree a lot or is it something you only talk about when asked? It's just that I can see some people getting a little worked up if you talked about the benefits of being childfree in front of them. (not that they are entitled to get worked up over it)

Hi Nefs, sorry I am so busy these days, it takes me a while to answer !
Yes, that's it when I try to explain myself about my choice not to have kids... They would ask me the question first, and then I would try to make them understand my point of view! But I am not trying to say that their choice is wrong, I don't make comparisons... I just try to say that I don't have the urge, but maybe I don't explain myself properly, who knows?!!!
It's not something that I talk about when I am not asked cause I just don't think about it much myself tbh... If this answers your question...
Have a nice saturday night Nefs ;o)

kelle

Glowing wrote:

Just out of interest, are there any people here who regret having kids, or who swore that they'd be childfree for ever, and who have now have a football teams worth?

Yes, me! I swore I'd NEVER, EVER have children. I was intolerant of screaming toddlers in supermarkets. My husband married me believing we'd never have kids. But, at the age of 30, I changed my mind and now have 3. I love them to bits, but it's hard work and I can appreciate the views of those who want to remain childfree!

Catari Jaguar

The only thing more annoying than young kids and babies is the boring parents who go on about how happy they are and how great lil Fiachra Fionn is. Nobody cares, get a life! He's not special. He's just another kid. Like every other loud, obnoxious, spoiled, dysfunctional kid out there. And I should know. I teach.

At least I can teach them some manners and hand them back at 2:30. But you, you're stuck with them. Always at you. 24/7/365. Taking up your time, money, effort. Your soul, your marriage and quality time with your partner. Eugh. Making you fat with saggy boobs and stretch marks. Ruining your body, your peace and sanity. Why? What is the point?

nesf

Lil Kitten wrote:

And I should know. I teach.

Why teach if you find kids annoying?

Catari Jaguar

Cos kids in a class are well behaved. Kids out in public with parents aren't.

And I like the challenge of moulding them into decent human beings. Anyways, I'm only interested in teaching 4th - 6th. No infants for me thanks.

stovelid

Lil Kitten wrote:

And I like the challenge of moulding them into decent human beings.

How life affirming. I propose that you be canonized.

simu

Lil Kitten wrote:

Cos kids in a class are well behaved. Kids out in public with parents aren't.

Most are ok though. Although you notice the ones that go wild. There was a woman in the supermarket today who lost it at her kids because they kept throwing stuff out of the trolley. I have finally witnessed the stereotype. lol

nesf

Lil Kitten wrote:

And I like the challenge of moulding them into decent human beings.

Going very far off-topic here but: is that really within the brief of a teacher? Would this go as far as trying to instil a sense of religious belief (or whatever) in them?

simu

nesf wrote:

Going very far off-topic here but: is that really within the brief of a teacher? Would this go as far as trying to instil a sense of religious belief (or whatever) in them?

Teaching them to use apostrophes would be a plus.

Catari Jaguar

nesf wrote:

Going very far off-topic here but: is that really within the brief of a teacher? Would this go as far as trying to instil a sense of religious belief (or whatever) in them?

You have to teach them morals. It's a subject. I don't teach religion. I don't agree with it.

You teach them wrong and right. Don't steal, don't hit, don't drink and take drugs. Be nice to your parents. You know all that crap.

True story, 3rd class "disadvantaged school". I was doing a poem about a thank-you letter. I asked the kids what the best presents they ever got were. I was expecting some nice, special presents that were meaningful. The answers I got were "Playstation 2, DVD player, big TV etc" I was kinda surprised. I asked if ANYONE had ever sent a thank-you not. I got told "NO! Wha' wud we do tha' for??"

Eugh. So had a nice lesson on appreciating things but I doubt it sunk in.

I can't get out of teacher mode. You know u see those bratty kids out hitting their parents n all. I give them that death stare (you know the one your teachers used to do!) till they get all uncomfortable and look at the ground and stop. lil sh*ts. Kids under 8 are not for me.

kelle

irishbird wrote:

ABSOLUTELY CHILDFREE AND HAPPY. I AM SICK TO DEATH OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT TIME IS TICKING ON ............ON PARTICULAR "FRIEND" SAID SHE COULD LEND ME A TURKEY BASTER AND SHE WOULD FIND SOMEONE TO FILL IT FOR ME.

sorry rant over, i think people with children are misberable and hate their lives and they hate to see other people out enjoying life, sleeping until 2pm on sunday or going out without the worry of a babysitter - FECK OFF I SAY TO ALL YOU PEOPLE

Ouch!

Wertz

33, no kids and no signs or plans of having any for the next few years at least. Most of my mates have at least one. I feel a little left out sometimes, get the occasional thought of what it might be like to have a kid....but then I see the things my mates go through, expense, hassle, lack of free time and the like and that thought soon passes.
Have to agree about the country and society though; it's all so couples'n'kids oriented and childless singletons seem to be treated as "also rans" in the great rat race.

Semi off topic; I'm not sure I'd really want to bring kids up in Ireland today and even less sure that I'd want them inheriting the planet we're hellbent on leaving them and all the climate/poverty/conflict problems that are facing the future...

stovelid

The only thing more boring about hearing people going on about their little angels ad infinitum is people ranting about not having any of said little angels. Two sides of the one coin. Children are a matter of personal preference. Deep down, nobody else really cares TBH.

You Suck!

It's simple really....you can procreate and still be childfree with the wonders of the modern age....

All I do is, that if I see a sperm bank, I go for a quick jiffy and leave my seed. By my estimates if I can spawn 15000 children round the globe, statisticly 1 will probably make dictator or leader of a country at which time I will make my reveal myself to my kin.......failing that at least I'll be able to truely claim an army of me.


Give up all hope, have no children....for your fate is already sealed!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!111!!!

CathyMoran

Just married and there seems to be a lot of pressure on us to get pregnant since we got married especially, not that I do not want to, I can't for medical reasons at the moment but peoples comments about children really hurt. I have enough people asking me am I pregnant yet, even though I have been very ill.

I respect everyones right not to have children just like I respect their right to have them. If we are fortunate enough though we will be trying for children in 21.5 months time or sooner if medically allowed (or able).

Owen

Childree here, and plan to stay that way. People seem preprogrammed to housebuying, getting married, and having kids. It's too sterotypical for my likes, and want to have the freedom to what I wish with my life.

SimpleSam06

simu wrote:

"I really feel discriminated against".

You're not exactly black in the pre civil rights USA or anything, are you? People make annoying comments all the time. If it's not about children or the lack thereof, it'll be sth else. Get over it tbh.

Haha, simu ftw! You said exactly what I was going to say, except more politely. I mean what, will we have required quotas of childfree in civil service jobs? Heres a plan:

1. Invent spurious inclination / disinclination
2. Attach a politically correct name
3. Start support group / subculture
4. Minority status
5. ???
6. Profit!

I for one feel discriminated against because of my problems with eating raw broccoli dipped in chocolate. I feel disciminated against and demand that the wider society of "norms" accepts me for a full human being! Don't tread on meee! As a side note I think step 5 might be "sell t-shirts".

Actually on the whole I thoroughly support this not having children trend, for the same reason I support gays.

Less competition.

Ghost Train

you should check out Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

not as painful as it sounds

dame

Lil Kitten wrote:

The only thing more annoying than young kids and babies is the boring parents who go on about how happy they are and how great lil Fiachra Fionn is. Nobody cares, get a life! He's not special. He's just another kid. Like every other loud, obnoxious, spoiled, dysfunctional kid out there. And I should know. I teach.

At least I can teach them some manners and hand them back at 2:30. But you, you're stuck with them. Always at you. 24/7/365. Taking up your time, money, effort. Your soul, your marriage and quality time with your partner. Eugh. Making you fat with saggy boobs and stretch marks. Ruining your body, your peace and sanity. Why? What is the point?

Is it really more annoying than hearing again about another night out drinking in the pub when two guys were interested but you weren't really into them cos one had dodgy shoes and the other was a loser... but you looked really fab in your new top, you know the blue one but you really couldn't decide which to buy so you bought the two but now you can't wear the red one for ages cos everybody's seen the blue one one and maybe you should just return the red one..... and you can pick up a new paint catalogue for your apartment while you're out cos you're getting sik looking at the avocado on the accent wall in the lounge...oh, and that girl, you know..the slutty one...she was out too and she came onto the guy with the dodgy shoes but she's just a slut....there are no decent men....maybe you'll try a dating website one of these days but you're not that desperate yet hahahaha....your sister-in-law dumped your nephew on you for the whole of saturday afternoon cos she was so desperate to get out to the shops poor thing, she's worn out....she's far too soft on him and he's getting fierce cheeky but that's cute but he'll grow up with no manners if she's not careful... but you're great with him and love him to bits but like OMG, nappies, saggy boobs, no life...no way are you ever having snotty kids!...maybe you'd fit in an eyelash tint on your lunchbreak...do you think they'd fit me in if I rang now?...OK, better run......

This isn't particularly aimed at you Lil Kitten, but my point is, single people (and don't shoot me, but girls in particular) can get a bit annoying and repetitive after a while too. :eek:


If you don't want kids that's fine. Others do want kids and that's fine too.


If all you childfree don't like comments about being the clock ticking then don't mention saggy boobs, figures being ruined etc. And anyway, a bit of exercise can sort all that out!

Wertz

Ahahaaaha, what a burn on single women! Bravo Dame.

Catari Jaguar

dame wrote:

Is it really more annoying than hearing again about another night out drinking in the pub when .....
If all you childfree don't like comments about being the clock ticking then don't mention saggy boobs, figures being ruined etc. And anyway, a bit of exercise can sort all that out!

Just because you have no children doesn't make you an air head. Or single for that matter. Or do you only get romantically involved with someone when you want a baby??

squibs

I think not having kids might be something you regret more as you descend into old age, especially if you lose a spouse. There are some very lonely old people out there.

dame

I know a few single men in their early 30's (or even in their late 20's only), who say that they keep away from women of that age because most of them are only after one thing - babies, tick tock. Perhaps all the single women claiming not to want kids have actually discovered a fantastic way to attract men.....

dame

Lil Kitten wrote:

Just because you have no children doesn't make you an air head. Or single for that matter.

Just because you're a teacher or an engineer doesn't mean you make intelligent conversation all of the time either.

By the way, teachers using text-speak is not a good sign. What is the country coming to!

Lil Kitten wrote:

I can't get out of teacher mode. You know u see those bratty kids out hitting their parents n all. I give them that death stare (you know the one your teachers used to do!) till they get all uncomfortable and look at the ground and stop. lil sh*ts. Kids under 8 are not for me.

dame

Apologies for making three posts in a row, you'll all be sick of me by now...

Wasn't the reason Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston because he wanted to start a family and she didn't? At least that was reported anyway. Is it also true that she is now considering adopting herself?? I'm sure I read that somewhere recently. So squibs is probably right, it could be something that is regretted as one gets older.

Catari Jaguar

dame wrote:

Just because you're a teacher or an engineer doesn't mean you make intelligent conversation all of the time either.

By the way, teachers using text-speak is not a good sign. What is the country coming to!

You make no sense. This is a forum about being child free and happy. I personally can't stand young children or babies. 90% of them. My friends have kids. Getting pregnant would be the WORST thing that could happen imo. I don't care about what their little baby said, ate, puked up on. I don't even find your child cute. It's just another baby.

It's like they used to be normal, and now their life and brain has turned to mush, obsessed with babies. Using baby talk to talk to adults.

It's annoying. Being single, or not single, but just childless, allows us to talk about other things. APART from babies. Be it shopping or make-up or current events. At least they have the OPTION to go out and live their life. No matter how frivolous it be. But hey, if you want to be tied down so be it. Good luck to you. I'll enjoy my freedom.

And criticizing a person's language used in a post as a last resort to get a dig in because you have no real argument really is a silly thing to do.

Back on topic please.

dame

Lil Kitten wrote:

You make no sense. This is a forum about being child free and happy. I personally can't stand young children or babies. 90% of them. My friends have kids. Getting pregnant would be the WORST thing that could happen imo. I don't care about what their little baby said, ate, puked up on. I don't even find your child cute. It's just another baby.

It's like they used to be normal, and now their life and brain has turned to mush, obsessed with babies. Using baby talk to talk to adults.

It's annoying. Being single, or not single, but just childless, allows us to talk about other things. APART from babies. Be it shopping or make-up or current events. At least they have the OPTION to go out and live their life. No matter how frivolous it be. But hey, if you want to be tied down so be it. Good luck to you. I'll enjoy my freedom.

And criticizing a person's language used in a post as a last resort to get a dig in because you have no real argument really is a silly thing to do.

Back on topic please.

It's a thread, not a forum. Just because a thread is discussing being childfree and happy, don't expect to not see any opposing points of view expressed. That's what generally happens in any discussion anywhere. Although perhaps in a classroom the children generally don't disagree with their teacher.

That's a huge generalisation you're making there about parents brains turning to mush and them not being able to talk about anything else. People talk about what interests them. Is hearing about someone's plumbing/roof/carpet/garden problems in their new house as sickening or boring? Is hearing about the infighting and politics in someone else's staffroom as boring? Any topic will bore those it doesn't really affect after a while. That's a fact of life.


Who says all parents are tied down? Shocking revelation on the way; Children can travel. :eek: They can also be left in the care of babysitters for nights out. :eek: The tying down would only really occur if on your salary you could not afford to keep yourself in the style to which you've become accustomed, as well as providing for your child/children.


Perhaps that's at the back of the minds childfree women who wish to remain that way? Oh no, I couldn't get pregnant. I wouldn't fit all my nice clothes and worse still, I couldn't afford new ones! :eek:

stovelid

Lil Kitten wrote:

It's like they used to be normal, and now their life and brain has turned to mush, obsessed with babies. Using baby talk to talk to adults.

Some of my mates have had kids and they are still the same, just a bit preoccupied and stressed which is understandable. It sounds like you were used to having their undivided attention on your terms and they now have other priorities. Get over it, TBH.

BTW, if you really feel so strongly about bratty kids, quit ranting and get out of teaching. We all remember certain teachers who just drew a wage and did nothing but stew in bitterness. Do yourself and the 'brats' a favour.