Childfree

stovelid

OLDYELLAR wrote:

and Lil kitten you need to have a serious chat with yerself. !

I think she's actually a doting mother of 6 and she's just trolling for the craic when they're at school.

Burning Eclipse

OLDYELLAR wrote:

I started to read this thread but I had to stop , for all the people who have replied with answers such as people with kids are jealous of us free and single people Id just like to point out that you are spastics!

I know plenty of people in their early 20`s with kids and they wouldnt change them for the world and they still live their lives to the full and love their little ones to bits and jesus christ based on what I read Im fairly certain there not jealous of ye.
This thread is some load a sh*t. and Lil kitten you need to have a serious chat with yerself. Dont bother quoting me either an tellin me you feel sorry for me and my opinions because I couldnt give 2 f*ks .Your name just stood out because of over genaralised and in my opinion stoopid comments saying everybody that has a kid hates theirselves and their lives. F*k sake!

That's my biggest issue here, I don't care if you want children, or don't. What bothers me is people assuming that kids = ball and chain. Or that people who want kids must be crazy. I know a few couples who never want kids, I don't think they're crazy, I don't judge. I'm indifferent.

Also, ^ I think she's cross... A bit.

Owen

OLDYELLAR wrote:

I started to read this thread but I had to stop , for all the people who have replied with answers such as people with kids are jealous of us free and single people Id just like to point out that you are spastics!

I know plenty of people in their early 20`s with kids and they wouldnt change them for the world and they still live their lives to the full and love their little ones to bits and jesus christ based on what I read Im fairly certain there not jealous of ye.
This thread is some load a sh*t. and Lil kitten you need to have a serious chat with yerself. Dont bother quoting me either an tellin me you feel sorry for me and my opinions because I couldnt give 2 f*ks .Your name just stood out because of over genaralised and in my opinion stoopid comments saying everybody that has a kid hates theirselves and their lives. F*k sake!

Post reported. For a Mod, you've got some nerve using the word 'spas***' in your post, lots of us on this Forum have disabled family members. Not only that, your language is OTT.

OLDYELLAR

ned78 wrote:

Post reported. For a Mod, you've got some nerve using the word 'spas***' in your post, lots of us on this Forum have disabled family members. Not only that, your language is OTT.

Ill make a note a that , thanks for the Info :rolleyes:

Owen

To the Parents out there, I don't want you guys to feel like we're taking the p*ss out of you for being 'trapped'. You have chosen your life, and have reaped great rewards from your Children, so that's to be praised.

What us anti-children crew are trying to say is that for us, having children would make us feel trapped, not anyone else. It's a personal thing.

HashSlinging

Well Ned, some of your anti-kid mates have serious anti-social problems, I'm sure you'll all grow up to be great moms and dads.

Owen

Touché!

Nevyn

ned78 wrote:

Post reported. For a Mod, you've got some nerve using the word 'spas***' in your post, lots of us on this Forum have disabled family members. Not only that, your language is OTT.

:rolleyes:

Mods are just posters on forums they don't mod and don't have to be on thier best behaviour if you have an issue report the post.

End of the day we have children to have a next genration, to pass on our genes and to propigate our speices.

IT is wonderful that we can choose not to have them and to limit how many we have but I wonder how many 'childfree' advocates would feel if there were to find themsleves in the awkward situation of contraception failing.

Giblet

OLDYELLAR wrote:

Ill make a note a that , thanks for the Info :rolleyes:

Yeah, you should probably make a note.

Dudess

I'm nearly 29, don't have kids and I actually don't feel discriminated against. If anything, I find those who are around my age and who are parents are the ones who have to put up with ****. My cousin had a baby recently at the age of 31 and got the "kids? You're mad!" comments from her friends. Who the **** do they think they are?!
I personally don't really know where I stand - I'm kinda torn. I certainly don't want to have children now and I'm going to wait and see how I feel and what my circumstances are at 35. But I think the only reason I want to have kids eventually is in case I regret not having them, which, in fairness, isn't enough of a reason. Or is it? And I do love kids - I get all silly and clucky around babies (although toddlers and small children might be a different story). But, good God, it seems SO hard!

stovelid

Thaedydal wrote:

but I wonder how many 'childfree' advocates would feel if there were to find themsleves in the awkward situation of contraception failing.

Why, their heads would turn to mush immediately and they would spend the next 18 years talking about the price of cabbage and playstations.

Catari Jaguar

Thaedydal wrote:

but I wonder how many 'childfree' advocates would feel if there were to find themsleves in the awkward situation of contraception failing.

Obviously they wouldn't be too thrilled. Considering how they want to be CHILD FREE. Probably be their nightmare situation.

DublinWriter

ned78 wrote:

I'm constantly under pressure to reproduce, to settle down, to buy houses...by colleagues, friends, and family

Ned, this I am curious about. What do they do/say to you exactly?

Owen

DublinWriter wrote:

Ned, this I am curious about. What do they do/say to you exactly?

Reproduce, settle down, buy a House.

DublinWriter

ned78 wrote:

Reproduce, settle down, buy a House.

They really say that to you? In those them words, or more subtley?

nesf

ned78 wrote:

Reproduce, settle down, buy a House.

Are your friends/colleagues much older than you?

constitutionus

just jumping in here (see hasnt read the previous 7 pages ) but was wondering if anyones mentioned that its only a matter of time before the government will by trying to convice/ bribe you into having kids seeing as the populationd collapsing.
thats why the feckers keep going on about madatory pensions. were not having enough kids to support the retiring generation (i.e you). if memory serves both france and australia are offering money to people to have kids. im pretty sure the australian one was " one for you, one for her and one for the country " . think they were offering 3 grand.

personally i dont want kids. ever.

im just not the paternal type. im too selfish. if kids happend i woundnt be mad or anything and it is funny how the right girl can get you thinking " well it wouldnt be THAT bad" but if were talking a plan then kids arent in it. id rather just spend time with the missus.

i dont see any presure on this but then im a guy so maybe the girls point of view is different. christ knows they love attacking each other so i could see a " hmmm ,no kids yet? " attitude being swung their way. though i do remember one of the lads i worked with laying into me about how i could possibly not want kids at a session once.
very surreal.

Owen

nesf wrote:

Are your friends/colleagues much older than you?

Not really, there's a variation in years from a few younger to a few older.

missfrilly

I am a 26 year old female and to date I have never seen myself ever wanting children.I in fact get panic attacks when i am around them.i dont get all gooy when i see a baby i have to pretend to be overcome with maternal instinct when i see women of my age showing off their new arrivals.I have nothing against people who want or already have children but what does bother me is the assumption that ALL womwen want children and those who dont either cant or have some emotional issue. Or my personal favourite :mad: are selfish!!!!! What exactly do people mean by calling me selfish because I dont want children. Surely it would be more selfish of me to have a child just so I can fit in?
I have tried to see if in the future I may change my mind but I seriously never see myself being a mother.Its not that I want a particular lifestyle unsuitable for children its just I dont have a single maternal bone in my body.

I understand that as a childless female I will and am not "the norm" but surely my own contribution to society is just as significant and valid as those with children.However I sometimes feel people think I must be some sort of "freak" for not wanting children.I have even been accused of being cold hearted and looking for attention!!!! :mad:

Captain Trips

missfrilly wrote:

...I in fact get panic attacks when i am around them....

but what does bother me is the assumption that ALL womwen want children and those who dont either cant or have some emotional issue.


....I dont have a single maternal bone in my body.

...I have even been accused of being cold hearted and looking for attention!!!!

If you really do get panic attacks around 20% of the population, maybe it *is* an emotional issue for you. Panic attacks around children is hardly what anyone would describe as being normal.

missfrilly

lol fair enough but loud noises in general panic me and loud noises come out of children!!!! but i just dont have a maternal instinct at all. I have spent years trying to find children appealing but all I feel is well, nothing.When I think about having children it just seems boring to me .I would feel resentful and unhappy.I just cant get into the baby mode at all.My own moither told me I was always like this even when I was playng "house".

metaoblivia

I think different people want different things from life. I'm 25 and right now, I don't want kids in my life. I'm far too self-involved and would feel cheated out of a life if I had kids now. Maybe it will change later down the line; but right now, I don't even want a relationship, so it's difficult for me to imagine wanting children.
My brother, on the other hand, started having kids when he was a teenager. He was never the most responsible guy, but he managed and he's a great father. He has three kids now (and two ex wives) and he loves them more than anything.
The weird thing is, I do enjoy children. I'm a children's writer and illustrator, so I love being around kids and hearing their ideas. So often other adults just humor them or don't become actively involved in their games. I love playing with them though, and listening to the stories they tell, hearing their perspective and insights on the world around them. My brother and parents are happy to sit in a chair and watch them play, but I'll be running around the house playing Spiderman with my nephews, or teaching my niece how to mix paint colors and use stencils. But being around children and people in general takes a lot of energy out of me, and after a few hours I need to leave and just be alone. I need a lot of alone time, especially when I start in on a new project (novel or picture book). Parents can't do that - their time is their children's time - so I don't know how I'd survive parenthood. I think being childfree is the most responsible thing for someone like me - I'd feel badly for any kid I had to raise.:o

Thrill

I remember seeing a documentary on T.V. a few years back about an investigation into the rising suicide rate among young men in japan.
Journalists interviewed hundreds of young men and found that most were concerned and depressed about the fact that they could not meet young women who wanted to settle down and have a family. Women in japan wanted to focus on themselves and their careers and were increasingly snubbing young men who wanted to settle down and instead opted for more casual relationships with men who were not interested in the whole family bit.

The feeling among young women was that they were not baby machines who had to settle for a life of servitude where bringing up baby was their only role in life.The number of young Japanese women who saw childbearing as their primary role in life was falling at the time of the documentary, around four or five years ago, and a growing percentage had no intension of ever having one.

This is the first time i have ever heard the term Childfree and having done some reading on the subject it seems to be a growing phenomenon.

I found this bbc article particularly interesting in that it seems there is discrimination when it comes to the subject of childfree in Europe.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4813590.stm

stovelid

Maybe will get shot down for this but the OP was in her mid 30's. The point I took was that she was at an age where society really started judging about ticking clocks etc (forgive me if I got wrong end of stick, OP).

Obviously there are exceptions to this but the majority of posters now seem to be early to mid 20's, the age group that you would expect to be mostly dead set against kids.

An awful lot of people I knew when I was in my mid 20's (including me) were dead set against kids and nearly all of them completely changed tack as they got older.

I thought the orignal topic was more interesting TBH, that is, mid 30s people, especially women, that are still quite happy to be childfree.

Pepe LeFrits

Sinead_g wrote:

Why do others make me feel guilty for this choice? Why can they not respect it and let me be?

They should make you feel guilty. Be removing your genes (which by successfully operating a computer, registering on this website and making a concise and legible post, you have demonstrated to be of good standard) from the genepool, you have effectively acted AGAINST natural selection, thus damaging the human race.

We'd better pray that genetic engineering becomes socially acceptable, otherwise the stupid will continue to breed in increasingly large numbers, while the intelligent forego large families (or families altogether) for their careers, or other reasons, eventually causing the intelligent to become extinct.

For more information, you should watch Idiocracy. A terrifying insight of things to come, brought about by our reckless disregard to Darwinian Theory.

Thrill

stovelid wrote:

The point I took was that she was at an age where society really started judging about ticking clocks etc

Not shooting down stovlid but the feeling i got from her OP was a sense that she felt somewhat alone and discriminated against in a country that frowned on a woman who did not want a child and wanted to know if there were others like her out there.

I, too could be wrong.

stovelid

thrill wrote:

Not shooting down stovlid but the feeling i got from her OP was a sense that she felt somewhat alone and discriminated against in a country that frowned on a woman who did not want a child and wanted to know if there were others like her out there.

I, too could be wrong.

NP.

I just thought to be childfree and happy at 35 was a bigger statement of intent than to be so at 25 and I found it interesting. Should have made that clearer.

Pepe LeFrits wrote:

They should make you feel guilty. Be removing your genes (which by successfully operating a computer, registering on this website and making a concise and legible post, you have demonstrated to be of good standard)

TBH I have encountered loads of idiots that can register on a website and articulate their views concisely

Thrill

Pepe LeFrits wrote:

eventually causing the intelligent to become extinct.

Darwinian Theory

If the intelligent become extinct, then surely that would be natural selection.
We become intelligent to the point that nature kicks in and suppresses the
instinct to procreate, for the survival of the species.

Natures population control.

Thrill theory:)

dame

Lil Kitten wrote:

I don't hang out with my friends who have had kids. All they want to do is get really pissed cos they're depressed because they had accidental pregnancies in their late teens and they know they've ruined their life. Degrees thrown away, a chance at a future is gone, still living at home while the tax payer picks up the tab. Many of the babies have no contact with their fathers. It's something that i completely disagree with and to go along with them would be hypocritical.

Teachers don't teach 0-4 do they? No. We're the ones there to pick up the pieces in your children's lives because you're out working to try to make something of your life now that you have children. Oh sure, you can still live your life as long as the creche is there or a nanny. Nice parenting. I see the repercussions in the children. I've come across depressed children, neglected or abused children, children dying for some attention, acting out, still wetting the bed because they can't handle their parents divorce etc. and all they get is another DVD because mammy and daddy are too busy with their own lives to spend time with them.

A child isn't a box to tick off or another thing to add to your list of things to do before you're 40. "You have a career, fancy holidays, a big car and a child?? How do you do it?" Well... the nice job pays for the child to be raised for me. It's also not a reason just to get a council house and a few easy quid.

If you want a child raised properly and healthily, you need to give it the time and devotion it needs, that means TWO parents there for it. Mostly it's up to schools to give the children the attention and stability they need.

Really? As a student teacher have you really actually come across all of this...or have you just heard about it in lectures? :rolleyes:

Yesterday you spoke about how you've been moulding them into decent moral human beings. Really? On your few weeks of teaching practice here and there you've managed to do that? Fair play to you!



What's all this about girls having babies young and wasting their lives?

Lil Kitten wrote:

I don't hang out with my friends who have had kids. All they want to do is get really pissed cos they're depressed because they had accidental pregnancies in their late teens and they know they've ruined their life. Degrees thrown away, a chance at a future is gone, still living at home while the tax payer picks up the tab.

I myself had a child in my early 20's and returned to college to finish out the last year of my degree. Luckily I've a very supportive other half. The college never knew I had a child and most of the students in my class didn't either. I know a girl with a 5 year old who has just this month finished a 3 year PhD. Young children go to sleep early and it is perfectly feasible to get assignments and study done for a couple of hours after this time.

You should know that we happen to have an excellent third level education system in this country, with free fees and grants (after all you definitely avail of the facilities and the free fees and quite possibly the grants too). The only real barriers to anyone doing a degree in this country are their own motivation and the points and leaving cert subject requirements for the particular course. By the way, being a student teacher in no way makes you superior to your friends who chose not to go to college, whatever their reason.

You're not a taxpayer yet. You probably still live at home. If you couldn't find a permanent job for the first year or two after you qualify (which there's a strong chance you won't), then I'm sure you'd have no problem claiming the dole between your short stints subbing. Don't get me wrong, I also think it's wrong for people to live out their lives on the dole and not to at least try getting a job, but you are suggesting that all young mothers are depressed spongers and wasters who are ruining their children by bringing them up alone. I'm surprised that none of the separated fathers (or mothers) on boards have commented on this slur.

I suggest you tone your attitude down a bit. The children themselves, their parents, the principal and the other teachers in the school you eventually end up in, will pick up on your prejudices and yes, your snobbishness, and you will not be thought kindly of. Failing that you'd better start looking for a nice little senior primary school within an exclusive gated community, where all the mothers stay at home, the kids are well-behaved angelic clones and there are no single parents! :rolleyes:

dame

By the way, are all childfree women fit and toned visions of perfection? That's what you'd think reading some of their comments!