Childfree

Latchy

Looking around at the state of the world today one somtimes asks the question ,do i really want to bring kids into this world ?,and would blame nobody for making that decision . The thing is once you have them , and you bond with your children , the desire to love and protect takes over , it's a purley human instinct that goes back to the stone age,and millions of couples and single parents get on with it and do a damm good job of it to .

I have a female friend who is a career girl ,in her early 30's and she has decided she does not want children ,good for her i say , at least she is being honest and knows what she wants .

I also have a female relitive whos marrige ended in divorce a few years ago .Her two children in their early 20s have flown the nest, and looking back now, she realises that taken off for weeks at a time around the globe and leaving them with their father when they were younger was one of the main factors in the the divorce coming about .She is now on her own ,in her late 40s and struggling to form any meaningfull relationships with the oppisiste sex.She see's herself as damaged goods (her words) .

We are celebrating my sons 18th in a few weeks and looking at some baby pics to blow up for the party we are having, we realised right from birth that we had made the right decision to stay together and watch our kids grow up ,and no regrets .

Tha Gopher

Terry wrote:

The location of that meeting gave me a laugh.

Nothing like bringing a childless couple to a maternity hospital to cheer them up.

Once saw a thank you note in the paper from an alcoholism charity to a local pub for use of their function room Its like holding junkie rehab sessions in Tony Fellonis house.

chambers

i've never wanted to have my own kids,cause i grew up in the 80's looking at the live aid concerts..where there were all these starving kids on the tv,..i thought anyone who breeds in this day is either,,insane,completely selfish or stupid enough to forget their pill..I mean just adopt if you want a kid...there are like 6 billion people on earth..far far too many..half the poor bastards are starving..adopt a baby for ****s sake..or foster..they are always crying out for foster parents and you get paid aswell..i just don't understand these people who are mad into breeding..get a life..if you really like kids then you will go to the trouble of adopting..even if it costs a lot.. i dunno people are ****ed up today..mad completely ****ing mad ..why do women want to be like a cow in the field popping out sprogs..just for the experience,so they can say they did it..i'm sure its completely crap being pregnant..:p

chambers

RainyDay wrote: »

The old line about 'Give God a laugh - tell him your plans' springs to mind!

One in 5 couples has difficulty conceiving. Having done pretty much as you described and spend our early 30's traveling, working and having fun, we expected to be able to switch on the baby-tap and get instant results. It didn't quite work out that way. We went through 5 years of infertility, being prodded, poked & scraped by a large number of medics. I remember being invited to the information meeting run by the HARI clinic, and I was expecting to find myself in a room with 10-15 people. There must have been about 500 people in the large function room in the Rotunda, and they run these meetings 3 times a year. We later ran into our next-door neighbours in the clinic and I spotted at least 3 work colleagues in the clinic during our treatment there.

The good news for us is that the IVF treatment worked and our little darling will be 4 at Christmas. I'll be 60 at her 21st birthday party.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I do want you to understand that infertility is quite common, so you may want to consider this risk in your planning.

maybe its gods way of saying don't bother breeding..its not worth it..

chambers

stcatherine wrote: »

Just found this and thought I'd add my 2c.

I'm 34 and a Mum of one but not by choice. I'd have had more if I could but we are having problems and have lost 2 babies. More than anything else in the world I wanted to be a wife and a Mum, that's just what I felt my calling in life was. A career just didn't yank my crank, tried it and hated it !

for that very reason I have the absolute utmost respect for people who are not afraid in this day and age to stand up and say "You know what, I don't want children" for whatever reason, it doesn't matter. You should be given a medal for not bowing to what is sometimes pressure from other people to have kids.

There are far too many kids in this world who don't have the family life they deserve because people were pressured into having kids they didn't want and knew they couldn't cope with !!

Just because you don't want children does not mean there is anything wrong with you, in the same way that I chose to be a Mum and wife not because it's expected but because it's just what makes me happy.

I do like kids a lot.but i don't want to bother having them myself..i work with teenagers,,thats enough for me...i just hate to see them suffer due to over breeding and tosser parents and crap schools..i'd like to be a good parent and have nieces and nephews..

chambers

Mrs M wrote: »

I just wanted to add, my husband and I are childfree and we love our life and lifestyle. Being CF is not for everyone but it's not a negative as some parents presume.

Anyway due to constant comments by parents such as 'who will come to your funeral’, ‘who will look after you in your old age’, ‘you do not know what love is to you have a child' (all utter trash I may say). I started a community just for the childfree to come and rant or just to express their opinions with like minded people. Those of you who are CF you are welcome to join us.



<snip>

who will come to your funeral..sure you will be dead..you won't care..who will visit you in the nursing home:rolleyes:..who is going to put me on the commode..probably a nurse i hope..not my son or daughter that I won't be having anyway....i wouldn't expect them to change my nappy..anyway i will have more money to pay for the nursing home..cause i won't have had kids..

Tha Gopher

chambers wrote: »

i've never wanted to have my own kids,cause i grew up in the 80's looking at the live aid concerts..where there were all these starving kids on the tv,..i thought anyone who breeds in this day is either,,insane,completely selfish or stupid enough to forget their pill..I mean just adopt if you want a kid...there are like 6 billion people on earth..far far too many..half the poor bastards are starving..adopt a baby for ****s sake..or foster..they are always crying out for foster parents and you get paid aswell..i just don't understand these people who are mad into breeding..get a life..if you really like kids then you will go to the trouble of adopting..even if it costs a lot.. i dunno people are ****ed up today..mad completely ****ing mad ..why do women want to be like a cow in the field popping out sprogs..just for the experience,so they can say they did it..i'm sure its completely crap being pregnant..:p

Eh.... lol?

So you think people like Angelina Jolie and Madonna who are perfectly capable of having kids (well, Madonna was, might be past it now) should go around the world effectively shopping for babies? The whole celeb rescue an orphan thing has stank since day 1.

chambers

ned78 wrote: »

It's horses for courses. Some people want minuature replicas of themselves, some people don't. And I don't. I have a few friends in their early 40's without kids, and with no intention of having kids, and their quality of life is extraordinary.

I think most people who want kids are just bored with life..which is understandable,,life can get boring..they are just looking to be entertained by there kids.they can't think of anything else to do in life..cause they have been to college..travelled,worked in the area they wanted..party party..and now they have done it all..and what now..they hit and brick wall and they go and breed..hoping to overcome the boredom..i just think the kids will get boring in time too..what then an affair..:o

chambers

Tha Gopher wrote: »

Eh.... lol?

So you think people like Angelina Jolie and Madonna who are perfectly capable of having kids (well, Madonna was, might be past it now) should go around the world effectively shopping for babies? The whole celeb rescue an orphan thing has stank since day 1.

Angelina jolie has lost the plot with her united nations family and Madonna..that was bit of publicity..her adoption was a bit messed up..the kid wasn't even an orphan..but on the whole adopting is a good idea if it helps the kids have a better life..

chambers

eolhc wrote: »

you should check out Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

not as painful as it sounds

40,000 children under the age of five die each day from malnutrition and vaccine preventable disease.

Sonnenblumen

chambers wrote: »

40,000 children under the age of five die each day from malnutrition and vaccine preventable disease.

How many adults die everyday without leaving any trace of having been here?

Dudess

Meh, some people want to have kids, some don't. I really wouldn't read any further into these trends.

Jesus Wept

Sonnenblumen wrote: »

How many adults die everyday without leaving any trace of having been here?

none

Latchy

Some countries are more child friendly than others although i am not sure were ireland is on the ladder.I am a proud parent of two and i respect anybody who does not wish to have children ,there is a lot to be said for not wanting to bring kids into this world, it's not for everybody ,however we have no regrets on that score .

Terry

chambers wrote: »

maybe its gods way of saying don't bother breeding..its not worth it..

I'm going to have to give you a rap on the knuckles for that.
Don't do it again.

kowloon

I don't have any idea why i read through this entire thread, i never knew this topic pi55ed me off so much!

A lot of the posters are really obnoxious sounding.

I've met people from both sides of the fence that annoy me,

I think its better if "career driven" people don't have kids though, while a 35 year old who thinks they're a super important executive type is annoying enough with all their looking down on everyone who doesn't work in a "high powered" job but they're a lot better than the same career fcukers who won't take time off from their jobs to raise the children they have.
Theres a whole generation of brat children ready to appear as adults in a few years that will have spent more time with the playstation bought to shut them up with any parent, professional couples are more likely to break up too (apparently).
I know this is off topic, but i just shudder when i think how these children will turn out.

Of course the other type, the people who live through their children annoy me too, you know the types, trying to create the adult they wanted to be.

Jigsaw

I'd love to have kids one day but at the moment I am a bollocks and I do my job and go to gigs and drink beer and arse about. I can think of no better feeling in my mind than holding my baby in my arms someday and looking after them. Maybe because a friend of mine had a baby recently it has made me think this way.

Having said that it is up to me to carry on the family line. I have a sister but no brothers so it is solely down to me to perpetuate the lineage.

SimpleSam06

Jigsaw wrote: »

I have a sister but no brothers so it is solely down to me to perpetuate the lineage.

Yes because women don't transmit any of the genetic traits of their parents when they have children. It takes a powerful, untameable buck wild steer of man-genes to straddle the genetic tree and bend those chromosomes to its will. :rolleyes:

Just to repeat myself on the whole childfree issue, I lump them with the gays and the terminally stupid. Yes, well done, keep having no children. Your future is mine now. Thanks.

Latchy

Having children can happen to the best of us ,and some people make better parents than others .Being there for your kids is the most important thing you can give to them ,your time , you cant put a price on it as many lonley kids have found out .

Peared

SimpleSam06 wrote: »

Yes because women don't transmit any of the genetic traits of their parents when they have children. It takes a powerful, untameable buck wild steer of man-genes to straddle the genetic tree and bend those chromosomes to its will. :rolleyes:

Just to repeat myself on the whole childfree issue, I lump them with the gays and the terminally stupid. Yes, well done, keep having no children. Your future is mine now. Thanks.

Aw simplesam I was smiling and nodding and appreciating the sentiment of the first wee paragraph and thinking how well you had phrased it.

And then I read the second one and saw "the gays" comment

Dudess

Despite his moniker, SimpleSam is an intelligent dude. I suspect there's heavy irony in that statement.

John Mason

kids eh? some of us cant, some of us can and some dont want to have them


end off - can we please get of this thread once and for all - it makes me really depressed

SimpleSam06

Peared wrote: »

Aw simplesam I was smiling and nodding and appreciating the sentiment of the first wee paragraph and thinking how well you had phrased it.

And then I read the second one and saw "the gays" comment

Eh maybe not put as well as it could have been. I'd view same sex attraction as being more of a fetish, like some people enjoy bondage or whatnot (and more power to them), rather than something biologically hardwired.

I was taking a poke at the whole "fabulous" lifestyle there, which didn't really exist before Oscar Wilde, and which shouldn't disbar people from the joys of having and raising children, legally or emotionally. I find that "either one or the other" polarisation a bit contrived and forced tbh. Thats a whole other discussion, yes I know, and I won't get into any dogfights with anyone about it on this thread, for which I make no apologies.

For the record, I'm fully in favour of any number of adults of sound mind and free will doing whatever they want to with each other, sexually. No offence intended or hopefully caused, slender enough though that hope might be.

Dudess wrote: »

Despite his moniker, SimpleSam is an intelligent dude. I suspect there's heavy irony in that statement.

Awww tnx! >:D< The million monkeys in my head strike it lucky from time to time is all. I actually post gibberish on hundreds of forums and revert to boards when I feel a good 'un coming on.

Peared

Fair nuff, fair nuff simplesam. Just felt casual use of "the gays" jarred a bit with the insightful nature of the rest of the post.

RainyDay

chambers wrote: »

if you really like kids then you will go to the trouble of adopting..even if it costs a lot..

Have you got even the vaguest idea of what is involved in adaption?

irishbird wrote: »

end off - can we please get of this thread once and for all - it makes me really depressed

Have you considered trying the 'unsubscribe' button?

Xavi6

chambers wrote: »

I think most people who want kids are just bored with life..which is understandable,,life can get boring..they are just looking to be entertained by there kids.they can't think of anything else to do in life..cause they have been to college..travelled,worked in the area they wanted..party party..and now they have done it all..and what now..they hit and brick wall and they go and breed..hoping to overcome the boredom..i just think the kids will get boring in time too..what then an affair..:o

So the reason people bring a child into the world is not for the idea that they love the idea of rearing a child that they've created, but for the simple fact that they are bored? What a load of crap. I'm 22, well travelled, live a good lifestyle, am physically active yet I want kids. Am I bored of life? Hell no. Will I be in 5 years time when I'm in the baby making process? Of course not because I'll still be doing most of the same things.

The thought of having children is the complete opposite to boring. It's exciting. You watch and help them develop and grow and they become a friend as they get older. I think of all the fun I had with my parents as a kid and I wanna share the same things with mine. You must be very naive to say 'most' people have kids because they're bored.

Latchy

We were not giving the tools to make babys for nothing , the idea that we do it because we are bored is absured .It's what we are programmed for .

I wasn't a father until i as 27 and by then i had lived a bit ,done a bit of traveling ,expierenced situations good and bad .
I think a lot of people these days are put of on the idea of having children because A ,the whole idea scares them (quite understandable and nothing to be ashamed of) and B , it's not fashionable .

To anybody who for some reason are unable to have children , best wish's and kind regards.

CuLT

Someday, but not today.

If you're mentally disinclined towards the primal tenet of all life, to procreate, you're probably a genetic dead-end (to be blunt). Why else would you voluntarily end your genetic heritage?

chambers

Kernel wrote: »

Aw Sinead, you are obviously having issues about the lack of continuity of your genetic lineage. Don't worry, someday you will find a man and reproduce before your womb turns to a dry husk and you end up a bitter lonely oul wan living with 12 cats. All you like-minded (ie. self deluded) chicks will probably be the same, but starting threads about how happy you are without sprogs, and not at all jealous of your friends and their families, is just too transparent to resist. *kisses*

thats just plain rude..people who don't want kids have put a lot of thought into the good reasons why they shouldn' t have them..maybe they actually care more about the future of the planet than a lot breeders who want to add to the over population of the world and who just follow in their parents footsteps without thinking about the fact that there are already 6 billion humans around and half of them are starving in the third world..

chambers

Xavi6 wrote: »

So the reason people bring a child into the world is not for the idea that they love the idea of rearing a child that they've created, but for the simple fact that they are bored? What a load of crap. I'm 22, well travelled, live a good lifestyle, am physically active yet I want kids. Am I bored of life? Hell no. Will I be in 5 years time when I'm in the baby making process? Of course not because I'll still be doing most of the same things.

The thought of having children is the complete opposite to boring. It's exciting. You watch and help them develop and grow and they become a friend as they get older. I think of all the fun I had with my parents as a kid and I wanna share the same things with mine. You must be very naive to say 'most' people have kids because they're bored.

no offence but your only 22.. a young one..wait another 10 years..life can become a bit tedious..more of the same of old crap every day..and the day to day routine with kids is not riveting..bringing them to school and back..making meals,:( wiping asses..i work with teenagers..there not that interesting..believe me..even if they were my own..people tend to take everything for granted after a while..too much familiarity..