History of the world had the interent been around back then

ZappaFrank

The Blues Brothers
By P Cooney

It's a monday night, the moon is high in the sky and Jake"Joliet" Blues is
getting out of prison. His younger brother Elwood waits for him in a old police car. Jake gets in.

Elwood gives Jake a smoke! Jake pops it in his mouth and trys to lite it with the the cars cigarette lighter, but it
doesn't work! Using his own lighter Jake lites the cigertte.

Jake: Whats this?
Elwood: What?
Jake: This car? This stupid car? Wheres the cadalic?
Elwood: The Cadalic?
Jake: Yeah you know the cadi? The Blues Mobile?
Elwood: I traded it!
Jake: You traded it for this?
Elwood: No i traded it for a Microphone!
Jake: A mircophone? Where you get this?
Elwood: I got it on ebay!
Jake: Ebay?
Elwood: Yeah, on ebay.
Jake: Whats ebay?
Elwood: It's a online shop.
Jake: Online?
Elwood: Yup, online!

Jake is getting angry

Jake: What the **** is online?
Elwood: You know the internet?
Jake: What the **** is the internet?
Elwood: It's a whole new world Jake.
Jake: This is just great, The day i get out of prison my brother picks me up in a police car he
got on ebay! And i discover theres a whole new world.

Jake scatches his head in wonder

Jake: Ok take me to this ebay.
Elwood: Ok.

Elwood reaches to the back seat and brings out a laptop.

Jake: Whats this?
Elwood: It's a laptop.
Jake: A what top?
Elwood: laptop, it's a computer. It connects you to the internet.

Jake is claming down, he really doesn't give a **** anymore

Jake: Ok, show me this ebay.
Elwood: There ya go!
Jake: Cool, look Disco Pants and wigs.
Elwood: It has everything.
Jake: They have Pants and Burgers.
Elwood: It's just like a shopping mall.
Jake: There's Baby Clothes.
Elwood: Told ya, they have everything.
Jake: So your telling me we can shop online and don't have to go to the shopping mall?
Elwood: yup.
Jake: Cool, i never liked that shopping mall anyway.

Ding!!!

A "you've got mail" icon appears on screen

Elwood: Hey just got a email from the Penguin
Jake: A what-mail?
Elwood: Email, it's like a online letter. They don't do post anymore!

Jake rises his eyes to heaven!

Jake: What does she want?
Elwood: Here i'll show ya.

Dear Jake and Elwood,
The orphanage is in trouble. We owe the tax man $20,000.
They are threatening to close us down unless we come up with the cash.
Please help us by making a donation. You can do so by clicking on
the link and entering your credit card details!
PS Curtis says hello!

Jake: Looks like she's up **** creek.
Ding!!!
Jake: What was that?
Elwood: It's another email from the Penguin
The Nun: What did you just say?
Jake: She heard me???

Jake been a smart ass now

Jake: I said "looks like You're up **** Creek"

Jake looks around to see if the nun is there to hear him! Ding!!! A noise diverts him
back to Elwoods laptop.


The Nun: Don't you Curse in the house of God.
Jake: Can't you turn her off.
Elwood: She's off.
Jake: Look Elwood we got to help the orphanage!
Elwood: How?
Jake: I don't know how?

With that a blue flashing box appears on the screen, Jake is first to see it

Jake: Whats that?
Elwood: Whats what?
Jake: The blue thing on the screen there? That Blue light?
Elwood: Oh thats just a Pop-up, it's like a adverisment sign!
Jake: A sign!!! I've seen the light Elwood!
Elwood: It's only Napster, you go there to Download music, They don't do
Records anymore! If you want your Johnny lee Hooker you need to download it!

Jake is bouncing up and down making the car bounce too

Jake: Music!!! The light!!! A Sign!!! Elwood!!! The Band!!! The Band, Elwood, It's all a sign!!!
We have to put the band back together, Do a few gigs, rise some cash and
give it to the Penguin!
Elwood: Er, about the band Jake.

Jake know theres bad news coming and calms down

Jake: You're still in touch with the band right? While i was in Joliet, you kept
in touch with the band, right?
Elwood: No! Look they don't play anymore Jake, They've all got straight jobs now! I don't
even have their email addresses.

Jake is egar, he wants to get going

Jake: Well we'll just have to find them then! Come on lets go!
Elwood: Go Where?
Jake: To get the band back together!
Elwood: Sure we can find them on here!
Jake: Where? Online?
Elwood: Yup!
Jake: How on earth are you going to find them online?
Elwood: Bebo Jake, they're bound to be on Bebo!!!
Jake: Whats Bebo?
Elwood: It's a online community Jake, everyone ones on it!
Jake: Ok you sure you can find them?
Elwood: Well there is 30million people on Bebo, we have a band to find,
we have a laptop with broadband connection, a half pack of cigarettes,
it's dark and we're both wearing sunglasses!
Jake: Hit it!!!

So thats it people! You see with the use of the internet The Blues Brothers
were able to get the band back together, do a few gigs and rise some cash
for the Orphanage! They didn't get beat up by a nun. There was no need for
driving through shopping malls and wrecking the place. No need for pissing
off the nazis, state police or the Army! They didn't have to pose as The Good
Old Boys and play a gig in a inbreed cowboy joint! Jake didn't even have his
ex wife finding him, you see Jake didn't have bebo! They set up a myspace page,
created a profile, made a few demos available to download. And they were
on their way to fame. Their first gig was broadcasted all around the world on
the internet, they made millions!
And most importantly, they didn't make a sequel!!!