Cooking and House-Keeping shortcuts

dohouch

Pray brothers excuse my use of these blasphemous words Cooking, House-Keeping but no longer being in possession of a provider of such services I felt that the brothers may be able to provide tips as to how these iniquities may be overcome with least loss of dignity and effort. Alas due to losses in the meat-shredding equipment I'm lowered to having to soften animal flesh through the application of heat, and no longer able to enjoy the pleasures of succulent, and blood warm fresh kill.

My only idea so far is boiling my egg in the kettle, no need to use an unnecessary pot when your making a cup of tea anyway.

jester77

dohouch wrote:

Pray brothers excuse my use of these blasphemous words Cooking, House-Keeping but no longer being in possession of a provider of such services I felt that the brothers may be able to provide tips as to how these iniquities may be overcome with least loss of dignity and effort. Alas due to losses in the meat-shredding equipment I'm lowered to having to soften animal flesh through the application of heat, and no longer able to enjoy the pleasures of succulent, and blood warm fresh kill.

My only idea so far is boiling my egg in the kettle, no need to use an unnecessary pot when your making a cup of tea anyway.

Oh brother, you are in some bother by the sounds of it!
Some options would be to move home to your mum, have some female friends/sister over to cook, rent out a room to a willing female or if all else fails hire a maid!

Until then, paper plates, plastic cutlery and the delivery guy's number set to 1 on the speed dial is your only real option!

The Ritz

My only idea so far is boiling my egg in the kettle, no need to use an unnecessary pot when your making a cup of tea anyway.

Not one of your better intellectual moments brother, the tea will taste like poo, unfortunately.

I would second the advice to find a new female companion/move back home/get your sister to live with you with all speed. The pizza/chinese/chipper delivery may well provide food, but who's going to bring you beer from the fridge ???


Ritz.

Fozzie Bear

Have you a dog? A seeing eye type would be ideal as you don't want to be spending precious couch/football time training them.... They can answer phones, open doors, go on errands, bring you beer, remote control and if you spill food all over your floor they will lick it up there by washing the floor as well as cleaning up your mess. Two birds and one stone my friend. (can be applied to plates, toilets, windows, yourself! be creative). You should be thinking outside the box here.....

Robbo

Helper monkey ftw.

Pray...for...Mojo.