Won't somebody think of the Jelly Babies?

Jesus Wept

Matt Holck wrote:

jellies have no set form
morphing from human to donkey to bear ... ect.
jellies never stop growing
keep in mind that this gummy worm may have once been a cute little jelly baby


not so cute anymore is it

I refer you to this

The-Rigger wrote:

8. You shall not bear false witness, i.e: Don't mix me us up with Gummi Bears, these are not the same thing, they are only a shower of no good bástards.

We are in no way assosiated with gummi people/things.

Matt Holck

That law is phylumist.

Jesus Wept

Matt Holck wrote:

That law is phylumist.

It's not a law, it's a Jellymandment.


You're a phylumist,

Matt Holck wrote:

That law is phylumist.

google is not helping on this one, explain

Matt Holck

I can't discuss the differances between the birds and the bees on this board

Jesus Wept

Matt Holck wrote:

I can't discuss the differances between the birds and the bees on this board

good, stay on topic


SAVE THE JELLY BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lou.m

The-Rigger wrote:

I found these while out for a walk, here is an artists impression of that moment. (He isn't much good, I won't be using him again.)

The 10 Jellymandments

1. We are the Jelly Babies, your god.


2. You shall not murder us.


3. You shall have no other gods, 'confectionery' related or not.


4. You shall not make yourself an idol (Lou.m, careful now, handing out Knighthoods?)


5. Do not take the name Jelly Baby/Jelly Babies/Jelly People/Jello/Gelatinous (etc, common sense) in vain.


6. Remember the sweets day (It was usually Saturday for most of us), keep it holy.


7. You shall not commit sexual acts with Jelly Babies. (This goes for everyone. (Damo, Kojak, Cian, I am keeping an eye on you specifically.)


8. You shall not bear false witness, i.e: Don't mix me us up with Gummi Bears, these are not the same thing, they are only a shower of no good bástards.


9. You shall steal, all Jelly babies, be them from factory or shop floor, but only for the purpose of freeing them.


10. Keep the 'Won't somebody think of the Jelly Babies' thread alive.

Yes Yes

Ah i see the light and indeed it does burn well done i knight you Sir rigger Due to your outstanding services to the very secret order of the brotherhood of the hermetic safekeepers of the Jellius Babius (the name keeps getting longer every time i type it.)

ARISE SIR RIGGER!

And now that we have our commandments we must have our charter

Charter coming soon!

Erm Ill be back in a minute. Hang on a sec i have been working on this and the glue has not dried yet.

Jesus Wept

Lou.m wrote:

Yes Yes

Ah i see the light and indeed it does burn well done i knight you Sir rigger Due to your outstanding services to the very secret order of the brotherhood of the hermetic safekeepers of the Jellius Babius (the name keeps getting longer every time i type it.)

ARISE SIR RIGGER!

And now that we have our commandments we must have our charter

Charter coming soon!

Erm Ill be back in a minute. Hang on a sec i have been working on this and the glue has not dried yet.

and who be you to be Knighting me? You are getting far too big for your boots.

I started this movement, it used to be about the Jelly Babies.


Also, they are not commandments, they are Jellymandments, a charter is not required, just follow the Jellymandments!

Lou.m

Ok the charter
I know you have waited all your lives for the true religion something undisputable something that no one can argue with , something Richard Dawkins goes 'oh well maybe....' to something that causes all other religions to go 'oh i think we got it wrong guys'. I know that you have been a member of many cults and religions you have wandered from one despotic religious leader to another for years now. Well here it is Jellism.

Our philosophy is simple we fully approve of any mystical religious psuedo science mumbo jumbo as long as it is ours.

Of of our rituals , Knowledge and anything else it was passed down to us from our elders and possibly sarky was invloved somehow.

As soon as we adopt any mumbo jumbo or anything else we immediately claim we thought of it first and that is is ancient knowledge and anyone who disagress with us is a *** and must be punished. For example you know mobile phones , yeah we invented them in 1617.

Although we are the protectors of the Jelly babies we predate them in fact we may have created them in six days.

We hate anything gummi related as Sir Rigger has said.

Anything we say is to be treated as gospel or better than gospel something more sugary than gospel.

It is our mission to control world events and influence world leaders. If anyone asks you if we are one of those organizations that controls the world like the masons or the stronecutters you immediately say yes! Except we do it with panache!

All our sacred members whether they be knights or not should be treated with respect they are better than you god damn it!

Expect the charter to grow and expand in fact it may be called the never ending jelly charter as it expands to meet our needs.

Jesus Wept

Lou.m wrote:

Ok the charter
I know you have waited all your lives for the true religion something undisputable something that no one can argue with , something Richard Dawkins goes 'oh well maybe....' to something that causes all other religions to go 'oh i think we got it wrong guys'. I know that you have been a member of many cults and religions you have wandered from one despotic religious leader to another for years now. Well here it is Jellism.

Our philosophy is simple we fully approve of any mystical religious psuedo science mumbo jumbo as long as it is ours.

Of of our rituals , Knowledge and anything else it was passed down to us from our elders and possibly sarky was invloved somehow.

As soon as we adopt any mumbo jumbo or anything else we immediately claim we thought of it first and that is is ancient knowledge and anyone who disagress with us is a *** and must be punished. For example you know mobile phones , yeah we invented them in 1617.

Although we are the protectors of the Jelly babies we predate them in fact we may have created them in six days.

We hate anything gummi related as Sir Rigger has said.

Anything we say is to be treated as gospel or better than gospel something more sugary than gospel.

It is our mission to control world events and influence world leaders. If anyone asks you if we are one of those organizations that controls the world like the masons or the stronecutters you immediately say yes! Except we do it with panache!

All our sacred members whether they be knights or not should be treated with respect they are better than you god damn it!

Expect the charter to grow and expand in fact it may be called the never ending jelly charter as it expands to meet our needs.

Lou, as much as I like you, you have lost your way.

It is imperative you denounce and delete this facetious charter, our focus remains simple and concentrated, to save the jelly babies, not a new world order.

Please just stick to the Jellymandments, they are the only guidance you need in life.

If you wish to start a new world order feel free to do so (I may even join it), but not here, at the expense of the Jelly Babies.

Lou.m

I see a rift forming here Sir rigger divided we fall.

If you wish in lay of your recent fears i seek to reasure you the Jelly babies are my first priority.

(In fact they wish to be installed as leaders around the world yes that is right the world is secretly to be ruled by Jelly babies!)

If you feel i am getting above myself then we must have a grand council.

Dont leave me Sir rigger i can change!

Jesus Wept

Lou.m wrote:

I see a rift forming here Sir rigger divided we fall.

If you wish in lay of your recent fears i seek to reasure you the Jelly babies are my first priority.

(In fact they wish to be installed as leaders around the world yes that is right the world is secretly to be ruled by Jelly babies!)

If you feel i am getting above myself then we must have a grand council.

Dont leave me Sir rigger i can change!

There is no need for a grand council, it is not up for debate, your idea's are contrary to the movement.

You're focus is divided by the setting up of power schemes and Hierarchy, of knighthoods and nwo's.

You have strayed from the flock little Lou, we do wish to have you back though, once you have seen the error of your ways.

You need to study the Jellymandments, they are all you need for guidance, nothing further.

Lou.m

Oh please can i have just one itsy bitsy tieeny winy psuedo religion obsessed with Jelly Babies Please Please?

Just one i have always wanted a super duper psuedo religious order.

You can be be KING!

(Come on dont say you are not tempted)

I dont even want a title for myself!

Just one little bitty despotic organisation.

PWETTY PLEASE.

If it will apease you i have written a boob song in which ever orifice sarky is in!

Accept it as an offering.

You see i had this all figured out Sarky , Amp and Jesjes were to be our Gods you and damo our knights WELL THE JELLY BABIES APPROVED!

You can be king YOU CAN BE KING YOU CAN BE KIIIIINNNG!

Oh alright then no hierarchy then.

But can we have the super duper mysterious religious order or can i start one and will you join?

Capt'n Midnight

Lou.m wrote:

I am planning to see if left unharmed if Jelly Babies will indeed grow to be Jelly people.

I don't think your plan will work.

A long time ago someone said that you should eat the male jelly babies since they have a little bit extra. But I've never seen that little bit so I'm beginning to think that maybe they aren't endowed with the apparatus to continue the species

Lou.m

Of course they are as has been pointed out what do you think the white powder is?

Jesus Wept

Lou.m wrote:

Oh please can i have just one itsy bitsy tieeny winy psuedo religion obsessed with Jelly Babies Please Please?

Just one i have always wanted a super duper psuedo religious order.

You can be be KING!

(Come on dont say you are not tempted)

I dont even want a title for myself!

Just one little bitty despotic organisation.

PWETTY PLEASE.

If it will apease you i have written a boob song in which ever orifice sarky is in!

Accept it as an offering.

You see i had this all figured out Sarky , Amp and Jesjes were to be our Gods you and damo our knights WELL THE JELLY BABIES APPROVED!

You can be king YOU CAN BE KING YOU CAN BE KIIIIINNNG!

Oh alright then no hierarchy then.

But can we have the super duper mysterious religious order or can i start one and will you join?

When it comes to the Save the Jelly Babies movement, I have no desire to be king or for there to be any king. It's just about saving the Jelly Babies.

---

Lou.m wrote:

WELL THE JELLY BABIES APPROVED!

The Jelly Babies did no such thing, they are too worried with either been incinerated, or the threat of it.

If however you want to start an unrelated 'super duper psuedo religious order', that sounds fine, I'd be happy to support it, we could even make it a joint venture if you wished (I see power struggles ensuing, perhaps you can placate me with the use of boobs tho).

I wouldn't be in favour pointing any mods as gods for worship, they have enough power as is

Lou.m

Sounds like a plan yes let us start such an order and i would be happy to use my boobs:p

A joint venture it is then PM me or something.

Or start a the mysterious oder of the hermetic brotherhood of the midnight Jelly brothers or we can leave the Jelly out altogether.

You choose the name cause it keeps getting longer everytime i type it!

Jesus Wept

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

I don't think your plan will work.

A long time ago someone said that you should eat the male jelly babies since they have a little bit extra. But I've never seen that little bit so I'm beginning to think that maybe they aren't endowed with the apparatus to continue the species

of course they are endowed, how the feck would there be so many babies?


The fact of the matter is that that Jelly Babies Boys' sexual organs are internal, until arroused. This occured naturally so that they would not be at any disadvantage, survial wise.

Jesus Wept

Lou.m wrote:

Sounds like a plan yes let us start such an order and i would be happy to use my boobs:p

A joint venture it is then PM me or something.

Or start a the mysterious oder of the hermetic brotherhood of the midnight Jelly brothers or we can leave the Jelly out altogether.

You choose the name cause it keeps getting longer everytime i type it!

I think the movement should express its support of the 'Won't somebody think of the Jelly Babies' campaign, without having any influence over it:p

Lou.m

Most certainly then we shall be called the most excellent hemermetic secret order of the brotherhood of the midnight Jellius Babius Mysteries.

To be a member you must support the cause and obey the jellymandments.

Our order is about supporting the cause but also about psuedo religious lampooning and general ultimate silliness. We believe that silliness is limitless.

Star Lord

:eek:

Traitor....

Jesus Wept

DamoElDiablo wrote:

:eek:

Traitor....

Don't worry, the new movement will be unrelated to the 'Won't somebody think of the Jelly Babies campaign.

It will express it's support for us though, leading to an increase in our numbers.

Back to the task at hand.

SAVING THE JELLY BABIES!

littlesurfer

What the hell is going on in here.......Seriously this has gone far enough......Damo ,rigger, lou,...in my office now. This has to stop....................................



*lowers glasses and gives angry look of contemptment

Star Lord

*adjusts collar and cuffs and coughs nervously...

Jesus Wept

littlesurfer wrote:

What the hell is going on in here.......Seriously this has gone far enough......Damo ,rigger, lou,...in my office now. This has to stop....................................



*lowers glasses and gives angry look of contemptment

too far?

We are just trying to save the Jelly Babies.

You are welcome to join our merry band though, we didn't mean to exclude you littlesurfer.

Capt'n Midnight

The-Rigger wrote:

We are just trying to save the Jelly Babies.

me too

*I've nearly got a full set*

Jesus Wept

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

me too

*I've nearly got a full set*

That sounds like it is been said in a Dr Evil-esq manner.

I hope you are behaving Mr Midnight.

Lou.m

Someone bought me jelly babies yesterday!:eek: I did not eat them though they are safe in my kitchen:)

Jesus Wept

Lou.m wrote:

Someone bought me jelly babies yesterday!:eek: I did not eat them though they are safe in my kitchen:)

Today, you are a hero.

littlesurfer

Do you know what i found out last night? if you drown a wee pack of jelly babies in a jug of vodka it creates a beautiful fruity vodka flavour

Jesus Wept

littlesurfer wrote:

Do you know what i found out last night? if you drown a wee pack of jelly babies in a jug of vodka it creates a beautiful fruity vodka flavour

:eek::eek::eek:

You disgust me.

Lou.m

Little surfer you are brilliant erm save the Jelly Babies and erm stuff

Star Lord

Littlesurfer I salute you. You spared those Jelly Babies a horrible death, and allowed them to become drunk till they no longer existed!

... then drank the remains.

littlesurfer

You know what else you can do with jelly babies??


you chop them up really small and blend them up into a type of jelly baby mousse, top with some merangue and place under the grill for 30 seconds to 1minute!

*licks lips

Jesus Wept

littlesurfer wrote:

You know what else you can do with jelly babies??


you chop them up really small and blend them up into a type of jelly baby mousse, top with some merangue and place under the grill for 30 seconds to 1minute!

*licks lips

I should have modding abilities in this thread.

You are no longer wanted in this thread, you jelly babies killer :mad:

littlesurfer

what are you gonna do??? I eat jelly babies, and i like it.....i will not hide!

Jesus Wept

littlesurfer wrote:

what are you gonna do??? I eat jelly babies, and i like it.....i will not hide!

That's just trolling, I've a good mind to report you.

littlesurfer

I'l take that chance

Jesus Wept

littlesurfer wrote:

I eat jelly babies, and i like it

littlesurfer

*backs slowly out of thread....

Lou.m

RIGGER if you ever feel like this again i want you to call the samaritans.

Is there a doctor or a nurse in the house or preferably a vet?

Jesus Wept

Lou.m wrote:

RIGGER if you ever feel like this again i want you to call the samaritans.

Is there a doctor or a nurse in the house or preferably a vet?

feel free to come over in Nurses uni

littlesurfer

there does happen to be a nurse in the house,...but i'm on strike,..and was asked to leave thread

Lou.m

The-Rigger wrote:

feel free to come over in Nurses uni

PHEW!!! He is back to his old self again!

Jesus Wept

Lou.m wrote:

PHEW!!! He is back to his old self again!

hmm, not sure Lou, time for you to come and show me your, errr I mean, take my vitals.

Lou.m

And you should do something nice for littlesurfer.

Lou.m

Not until you re-edit that picture to its original size. Its giving me a headache now!:(

Jesus Wept

Lou.m wrote:

Not until you re-edit that picture to its original size. Its giving me a headache now!:(

that is its original size you nutball, it's not possible to edit it.

Lou.m

The-Rigger wrote:

that is its original size you nutball, it's not possible to edit it.

I am NOT a nutball. I have no nuts or balls whatsoever.:p

scojones

Eating Jelly Babies makes baby Jesus cry.

Lou.m

scojones wrote:

Eating Jelly Babies makes baby Jesus cry.

I think that is the best post on this thread:D