Toilet Seat...

January

I know I am no man, but I want to ask all the "brothers" a question!

Why do men leave the toilet seat up? Is it too much effort to put it back down after urinating or is it to annoy your other half.

I ask this because my boyfriend always seems to do it...

AlmightyCushion

Why do women always leave it down. Is it too much effort to put it back up after your done or is it to annoy your other half?:cool:

January

Touché

Bazzy

i'm with almighty cushion ur boyfriend hasnt gone to the bother of posting on the net asking why u leave it down!!!

Mossy Monk

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Why do women always leave it down. Is it too much effort to put it back up after your done or is it to annoy your other half?:cool:

Well said.

crosstownk

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Why do women always leave it down. Is it too much effort to put it back up after your done or is it to annoy your other half?:cool:

Very well said

Call Me Jimmy

crosstownk wrote:

Very well said

yeah I've never heard that before, kudos.

brianthebard

Its politeness, so that the next man who has to pee won't have to go to the bother of lifting it.

Thrill

crosstownk wrote:

Very well said

I'd go along with those sentiments.

Rabies

I share an apartment with a girl. We have it sorted out. I leave the seat down for her, but then she can't complain if I piss on the seat.

The Hill Billy

Brothers - Leave the toilet seat down. Keeps the missus happy & is in the correct position for when you need to "drop the kids off at the pool".

Instead - Piss in the sink. Run cold tap for 5 seconds to "flush".

You're happy, she's happy & you're saving the environment too.

trout

Hill Billy wrote:

Brothers - Leave the toilet seat down. Keeps the missus happy & is in the correct position for when you need to "drop the kids off at the pool".

Instead - Piss in the sink. Run cold tap for 5 seconds to "flush".

You're happy, she's happy & you're saving the environment too.

Ah yes ... there's nothing like the feel of cold porcelain on yer percy of a mornin'

Brother Hill Billy has a magnificent solution to a perennial problem.

this post was brought to you by the letter P *geddit?*

J.S. Pill

Hill Billy wrote:

You're happy, she's happy & you're saving the environment too.

Great idea! Its only a matter of time before Al Gore makes a movie telling us the environmental benifits of pissing in the sink. They can call it 'Al Gore: pissing in the sink'

Slow Motion

J.S. Pill wrote:

Great idea! Its only a matter of time before Al Gore makes a movie telling us the environmental benifits of pissing in the sink. They can call it 'Al Gore: pissing in the sink'

That'll go nicely with the film being sponsered by the Bush administration
'Al Gore : Pissing in the wind'

AlmightyCushion

Rabies wrote:

I share an apartment with a girl. We have it sorted out. I leave the seat down for her, but then she can't complain if I piss on the seat.

No she should leave the seat up for you. And if she doesn't you piss in her mouth. Now that'd learn her.:D

sioda

I leave the seat down but over the years have improved my aim thus only hit the seat every second time

5starpool

I just piss on the toliet seat, but sometimes I miss.........

the boss of me

I can't believe you guys haven't discovered the delights of the " sitting piss". One of the few delights of the fat middle aged man.....

Leeby

I live with two lads, they don't leave the seat up, they just piss on it. I'd much rather have to put the toilet seat back down than having to wipe piss off it!

AlmightyCushion

Hence why you should leave the toilet seat up. Us men are far too busy and important to waste time with the likes of a toilet seat.

Leeby

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Hence why you should leave the toilet seat up. Us men are far too busy and important to waste time with the likes of a toilet seat.

Actually that is a good idea, I'll just put the toilet seat up after I piss from now on so noone will piss on the seat. Its so simple!!!

Zaph

Leeby wrote:

Actually that is a good idea, I'll just put the toilet seat up after I piss from now on so noone will piss on the seat. Its so simple!!!

That's one converted Brothers, only 2,999,999,999 to go.

AlmightyCushion

No zaph, converting them one by one is impossible. It would take too much time away from our drinking. What we need to do is convert them in mass groups. Now what is the one think all women follow no matter how stupid or ludicrous it may be. That's right brothers fashion. All we have to do is get a video of some "celebrity" lifting up the toilet seat when they're done and leak (no pun intended) it on the internet.

Vegeta

sitting piss all the way(only at home or a clean toilet, public toilets make baby jesus cry), I find it empties the bladder more effectively also allowing more tasty beverage to be consumed

standing piss is for suckers. I'd put me back out if I tried a standing piss

Tar.Aldarion

This is no man lads, get him out! He is not taking advantage of our most precious ability that makes the world our urinal.

AlmightyCushion

Yeah try taking a sitting piss at four in the morning when you're loaded up on sambuca's down some dirty back alley or on some poor old age pensioners front door step.

Tar.Aldarion

Who hasn't?
And don't spare the old age pensioner either.

Zaph

Brother Vegeta, please note that wimmins-like behaviour could get you banned from this forum, and if sitting to take a leak isn't wimmins-like behaviour I don't know what is. In order to maintain your standing here I suggest an immediate retraction. Failure to do so will lead the Brethren to come to the only possibly conclusion, that you are in fact a Sister rather than a Brother. If that's the case, fetch me a beer from the fridge like a good girl.

Kolodny

Ok, I am fully prepared for an earbashing from my fellow 'sisters' for saying this, but I have never understood why leaving the toilet seat up in such a big deal. I live with 2 guys who leave the seat up. I have to put it down when I use the loo - they have to lift it up when they use the loo. It's a fair deal surely? The only time it annoys me is if I get home really drunk and forget to check if the seat is down and find myself wedged into the toilet bowl. Although to be honest, that's quite funny sometimes.

Tar.Aldarion

Yes, I'm having fun picturing it.

Robbo

The official ruling on a sitting piss is that it's only allowed when you're going to the can in darkness and don't want to turn on lights. You're "flying on the instruments" as it were.

Tar.Aldarion

Even then, unacceptable. Even if you miss the toilet. You must be a man.

AlmightyCushion

Robbo wrote:

The official ruling on a sitting piss is that it's only allowed when you're going to the can in darkness and don't want to turn on lights. You're "flying on the instruments" as it were.

Or if you are drinking a beer and eating at the same time.

loyatemu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SXFO0v_C3s

super_furry

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Or if you are drinking a beer and eating at the same time.

Or if you're too drunk to stand. However, this can be a risky move becaus it often leads to falling asleep.

Grolschevik

Leeby wrote:

I live with two lads, they don't leave the seat up, they just piss on it. I'd much rather have to put the toilet seat back down than having to wipe piss off it!

That's the point. It's safer to leave it up. You can't trust most of us dirty feckers not to piss on the seat.

J.S. Pill

Vegeta wrote:

sitting piss all the way(only at home or a clean toilet, public toilets make baby jesus cry), I find it empties the bladder more effectively also allowing more tasty beverage to be consumed

standing piss is for suckers. I'd put me back out if I tried a standing piss

Did you by any chance share a prison cell with some enormous dude who asked you to go to the toilet like a girl for his amusement?

AlmightyCushion

super_furry wrote:

Or if you're too drunk to stand. However, this can be a risky move becaus it often leads to falling asleep.

I've been there:D

WindSock

I dont mind which way the seat is, as long as there's no piss on it. It's a lot more hassle wiping the seat or if I were in a hurry to pee, from the backs of my thighs :mad: ,than to put the seat down

Edit: the pee on the backs of my thighs when i'm in a hurry to pee is not usually mine, but the dribbly man pee on the seat.

The Hill Billy

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Who hasn't?
And don't spare the old age pensioner either.

Golden showers with OAPs ftw!

AlmightyCushion

So that's why all OAP's smell like piss.

Zulu

adrieanne__x wrote:

I know I am no man, but I want to ask all the "brothers" a question!

Why do men leave the toilet seat up? Is it too much effort to put it back down after urinating or is it to annoy your other half.

I ask this because my boyfriend always seems to do it...

I must say - I never got this sentiment. YOu've to sit on the seat, and surly you don't enjoy sitting on piss, so why don't you lift the seat after you. You've far more to loose than the man. I never drop the seat, not out of spite I hasten to add, but I just never ever think of it. If I taught of it, I would do...:o

Zulu

Robbo wrote:

The official ruling on a sitting piss is that it's only allowed when you're going to the can in darkness and don't want to turn on lights. You're "flying on the instruments" as it were.

Pish posh, thats why god gave you ears. Running on sonar! ...and the fun bit is when you start to loose pressure - where is it going to go next???!!!

Slow Motion

the boss of me wrote:

I can't believe you guys haven't discovered the delights of the " sitting piss".

He's taking the piss !

AlmightyCushion

Slow Motion wrote:

He's taking the piss !

Ha ha ha brilliant.

jester77

A few observations if I may! There are more advantages to leaving the seat up than leaving it down. This is due to our higher beer consumption than wimmin and once we break the seal we more or less have to make a visit with each refill the wimmin bring us, thus meaning we go a hell of a lot more often. As such and not to enduce some awful back problems from bending down each time it is better to leave it up. You might say that the wimmin could suffer from back pronlems having to put it up when they finish... well fear not, they will be standing up from a sitting position anyway, or so I hope, so this is not a problem. Also, as the night progress's our visual capabilities usually diminish which can lead us to not being able to make out if the seat is up or down. This can result in pee being sprayed all over the seat and this is not pleasant to sit in, so you are saving yourself from this problem by leaving it up! I once in my drunken state mid-pee realised that the seat was down and decided to lift it... it was not a pretty sight!! And finally, for those so called men who like to sit and pee :eek: WTF is that all about. Evolution has lead to man being able to stand and pee at the same time and you decide to go against 1000's of years of male progression by sitting and peeing... tut tut, *bows head in shame* plus sitting and peeing also has the awful side effect of enducing sleepness!

5starpool

Peeing while sitting is perfectly acceptable only if you are dropping the kids off at the pool, or unsure whether there may be some of them asking for a swim.

AlmightyCushion

jester77 wrote:

Also, as the night progress's our visual capabilities usually diminish which can lead us to not being able to make out if the seat is up or down.

Another problem with our visual capabilities being diminished is that we may be pissing on the floor, sink, bathtub, your bedside cabinet. But that is a discussion for another day.

Vegeta

I hang my head in shame

Surely this forum is about laziness and ways in which to be lazy.

I think sitting and pissing is even lazier than standing. You are sitting which is easier than standing and you don't even have to aim.

Again I may be wrong but I think sitting is in fact an evolutionary step in the right direction

the boss of me

I'm all for the sitting piss, sure, standing and pissing is multi-tasking and that's not a road any self respecting brother wants to go down !!

Zulu

...so is **** and browsing the internet. (just saying is all)