Quotes of the Season

Savman

Just found this on ITV with some gems in it (Barton's does it for me)...

The most deluded quote of the year

"Where can Newcastle aim to be next season? "Fight for the league title, play for a UEFA Champions League place and also target the FA and Carling Cups."
Obafemi Martins cannot be serious

A guide to intolerance I

"She should not be here. I know that sounds sexist, but I am sexist," he said, adding, "if you start bringing in women, you have a big problem ... This is not park football. It is tokenism for the politically correct idiots."
Mike Newell annoys half of the world's population by criticising a female assistant referee.

Predictable Beckham quote of the year

"He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake. Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird."
Ian Holloway is not too keen on Becks being knighted.

An anti-Macca quote to remember

"People say McClaren will stay if England lose but, in my opinion, they will drink his blood."
Player agent Pini Zahavi reveals his vampire fetish ahead of England's Euro qualifier against Israel.

Reds striker gets nosy

"If he has a few games without scoring, maybe we should arrange to break his nose again"
Rafa Benitez on Peter Crouch's goal-scoring exploits despite a broken nose.

How to defend against Ronaldo I

"After two minutes we will normally have massacred him so much that he will have to leave the pitch on a stretcher,"
Stijn Stijnen's thinly veiled threat against the Portuguse winger

Why the Gunners have struggled

"When you have 60,000 fans in you own stadium you can never say you will sacrifice the game. But the replay? Perhaps I should have sacrificed it."
Arsene Wenger's Arsenal did a lot of sacrificing this year.

The truth about the Three Kittens

"I have not enjoyed watching England for 20 years, I much prefer watching Coronation Street."
Neil Warnock has an opinion on just about everything

Reading take Maternity leave

"I'm not superstitious, but every time she comes we lose"
Steve Coppell bemoans his mother's negative presence at Royals' games.

How to defend against Ronaldo II

"If you do stepovers on me, I will break your legs and rip up your shirt."
Patrice Evra is not about to be embarrassed in training.

The most far-reaching quote of the year

"I played s**t. Here's my book."
Joey Barton on England footballers and their autobiographies.

Mad Jens talks sense

"I do not know why a player at 25 wants to tell me all about their big experiences...But it seems to be an English habit to come out with books that nobody needs."
The Arsenal goalkeeper clearly hasn't read Wayne Rooney's bestseller as he endorses Barton's view.

A guide to intolerance II

"When a ball is put out and a player gets up it annoys me. We're going soft because of the foreigners."
Mike Newell again...

Is the Beast homesick?

"The weather over here is killing me. We'll get one day of sunshine for every 30 days of rain, and it is driving me to despair."
Julio Baptista is not a fan of the English climate.

Benitez's Mersey obsession

"My family are really happy here at Liverpool and I am prepared to have my daughter with a Scouse accent, even though it is sometimes a problem for me!"
We feel for his daughter.

Respect in the workplace...

"Telling a news conference I didn't want to play is the behaviour of a bad person."
Samuel Eto'o slams his boss Frank Rijkaard.

A vote of no confidence

"It does not surprise me that he's out of a job because almost every club he's gone to he's not done it as a manager. He's f***ed up most of the time"
Dwight Yorke reveals that he is not a fan of Graeme Souness.

'Arry's Napoleon complex

"Mansfield gave us one hell of a game. I feared extra-time but we are still on the march, still unbeaten, and I'm still a brilliant manager!"
Harry Redknapp gets excited after Pompey beat the League Two strugglers in the Carling Cup.

Chelsea 2 Arsenal 0 & Wenger's say...

Wenger said last night: "We know he [Adebayor] did not deserve a red card. The linesman lies when he says he [Adebayor] punched Lampard.
"What the linesman said is really lies. It is just not acceptable."

Arsene Wenger really is a sore loser

A blast from the past

"In fact they made me feel like s***. My homesickness worsened whenever I was forced to be in their company."
Steven Gerrard blasts Les Reed and co.

Wenger on international football

"You now have Gibraltar who want to come in. Why not Barnet? It is the same..."
Wenger obviously didn't study geography at school.

The sympathy quote

"I thought it was a fantastic move for us to take us to the next level.
"I want to manage and coach at the highest possible level and this gives me the opportunity to do that - to compete."

How was Alan Pardew to know that Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano would be rubbish at Upton Park?

A guide to intolerance III

"When I spoke about Adrian Mutu, describing him as a 'crafty little gypsy', I did not mean to offend him.
"On the contrary, I was simply justifying his behaviour, remembering that he comes from post-communist Romania. What Mutu did was an instinct that comes with his nationality.

"Craftiness is a Romanian characteristic, they have it in their DNA. They developed it as part of their survival instinct."

Maurizio Zamparini puts both feet in his mouth simultaneously (but at least it wasn't Mike Newell again).

Our crystal ball

"Shevchenko's impact on the English game will be minimal and we'll all come to see his time spent at Chelsea as a great player picking up one last, well-deserved paycheck."
ITV Football's Justin Zehmke's words at the start of season.

http://www.itv-football.co.uk/Story/0,14272,6326_2100706,00.html

Savman

They've even given Jose his own page
http://www.itv-football.co.uk/Story/0,14272,6111_2092039,00.html

"My history as a manager cannot be compared with Frank Rijkaard's history. He has zero trophies and I have a lot of them."

Mitch Connor

the best thing i read about a footballer saying recently was Evra. When players sign for UNited, they get a person hired by the club to look after them, make sure they have what they need to settle in and all that. Evra's first question was "Where is teh nearest Church?" He then went on to explain that he is not particularly religious, but felt it important to thank God that he has been given the chance to play for the best club in the world.

LOVE IT!

Evra is a little legend though, after his pulp finction style messing about on the monaco away trip against Chelsea, Lampard, you mo'fo

Fanny Cradock

'Makelele is not a footballer, he is a slave'

What an entertaining man!

Mitch Connor

Fanny Cradock wrote:

'Makelele is not a footballer, he is a slave'

What an entertaining man!

Ronaldo has no class, because he is from a poor background.

Jose is LOVELY!:D

Mr Alan

Didn't Roy Keane say something along the lines of . . . "Chelsea wouldn't cause Sunderland any major problems?"

Then proceeded to lose to Colchester the following week!

Zebra3

Joe Gamble:"We molested the game".

Needless to say Gamble is from and plays for Cork.

Fratton Fred

I liked what Paul Ince said when he was asked about Macclesfield drawing Chelsea in the third round of the cup, he said he was hoping they would get Man United in the fourth round:D

Savman

The most deluded quote of the year

"Where can Newcastle aim to be next season? "Fight for the league title, play for a UEFA Champions League place and also target the FA and Carling Cups."
Obafemi Martins cannot be serious

I seriously hope his answer was lost in translation. Barcodes for the Quadruple '09?

KdjaCL

last season but Rico truly gets the vote.

We're being shagged by Dublin. We're being ridden rock solid...

kdjac