amsterdam with the lads... i'm the gf at home

digitally-yours

I can understand your situation

he is going with all single boys to Amsterdam for what ?

does he smoke weed ?

If he dosent then why is he going to that specific place ?


I am sure there are loads of other places for "Lads Weekend"

And as loads of people said its all about trust.If you trust him and if he is commited to you and loves you the same way as you love him he should know his limits.

On the other hand i think instaed of he thinking of being single i think he should feel better that he has a stable relationship going on.

Do you have any previous examples where he cheated on you ?
Did he ever lie to you for something serious ?


Dont close your eyes coz its a lads weekend but dont be picky too.
Just reason with logic.

also i think its important whats your place in his life is it just a Girl friend or do you intend to move forward like marriage or etc etc

LegacyUser

'

humanji wrote:

I think everyone else was just ignoring that post

OP, you're just worrying needlessly. Yes, there are some good looking girls in Amsterdam. There are also some good looking girls in Dublin, in Cork, in Paris, in Sydney, in Kuala Lumpar and in pretty much every place on Earth.

Amsterdam isn't just about drugs and hookers, so don't worry about it too much. Give your bf some credit. He won't even consider cheating on you. He'll have a laugh over there and come back to you.

Thanks+ thank you to everyone. Yeah, I am totally worrying needlessly alright. Now I'm just going to relax+ be a totally cool girlfriend and when he's going, tell him to have a great weekend.
It's really good to get this pointless worrying out of my head. He's a great boyfriend. + his friends are a good bunch of lads too+ I won't be prying either, what happens in amsterdam stays in amsterdam!'

Saint_Mel

Sorry if this has already been said, I didnt read through all the replies
but people have got to get over the "Amsterdam" hangup. If they're going
to Amsterdam they must be going for drugs and prostitutes etc!

If your bf wants to do drugs and score a whore he can do it in almost
any town in Ireland and save himself the plane fare.
The whole going away for a session is because its a bit more craic to be
away from home and the normal watering holes.

Any time I head off on a lads weekend its a bit of sightseeing, followed by
a booze session, crap jokes, talk about football and reminisce about stuff
that happened last time there was a lads session ... and I know my better
half would crack up at the thought of being caught in the middle of that!

She even encourages the odd trip cos most of the lads I head away with
are mates from school and college who I dont see regularly and she'd be
lost in the conversations.

In the same way she sometimes heads off with her mates from school and
college on hotel spa breaks and the like.
I've never felt put out that I wasn't invited to them.

theKED

MOTHERTRUCKER2 wrote:

'Hey,

I've been to Amsterdam loads of time and believe me when i say "don't let him go". Regardless of the amount of smoke and pills the lads will be doing alot of Window shopping will take place.
The women are page 3 Material and with a couple of beers, smokes inside of you, you'll be like ah sure why not fullfill all my fantasies.
I've done it.
So did 10 other lads i was with. Mind you 2 lads refused (but that was because one was married to the others sister).
What is a lads weekend away anyhow?
Things they can do with out having to justify themselves to the gf.

Ask him 10 good reasons why you can't join them?
Is it because his friends will feel weird if you see them using Prostitutes?'

This is completely true!
Don't let him go.
I've cheated this way too, they are too hard to resist.
Its like telling Jordan or Pamela Anderson no thanks, i have a lovely girlfriend at home.
You just want to get your rocks off.(mind you they were the best shags i've ever had - and i don't want to hear any of this "if you need to pay for it you must be desperate" thats just Bull - any women would pay money to ride Justin Timberlake or who ever)
If he loves you he'll let you come - if he doesn't love you he'll go with the lads.
You need to give him an ultimatum.

Glowing

theKED wrote:

This is completely true!
Don't let him go.
I've cheated this way too, they are too hard to resist.
Its like telling Jordan or Pamela Anderson no thanks, i have a lovely girlfriend at home.
You just want to get your rocks off.(mind you they were the best shags i've ever had - and i don't want to hear any of this "if you need to pay for it you must be desperate" thats just Bull - any women would pay money to ride Justin Timberlake or who ever)
If he loves you he'll let you come - if he doesn't love you he'll go with the lads.
You need to give him an ultimatum.

Your brain may be in your pants, but thats not true for every guy!

And no, I wouldn't pay to ride anyone, thanks.

Cancer-chick

theKED wrote:

This is completely true!
Don't let him go.
I've cheated this way too, they are too hard to resist.
Its like telling Jordan or Pamela Anderson no thanks, i have a lovely girlfriend at home.
You just want to get your rocks off.(mind you they were the best shags i've ever had - and i don't want to hear any of this "if you need to pay for it you must be desperate" thats just Bull - any women would pay money to ride Justin Timberlake or who ever)
If he loves you he'll let you come - if he doesn't love you he'll go with the lads.
You need to give him an ultimatum.

Ah B*****cks !!!

Dont be speaking for me ok !! I wouldnt pay to s**g ANY man!! Not to mind Squeaky Justin .. Yuck

Thats grand if you feel the need to pay for it , But dont be assuming all women ( ????? ) or men will do the same
OP you will have to go with the general consensus here i think which is that its a trust issue for you .. Best of luck and peace of mind to you

digitally-yours

Glowing wrote:

Your brain may be in your pants, but thats not true for every guy!

And no, I wouldn't pay to ride anyone, thanks.

Yes true i would never pay for sex

I think its disgusting , sick and cheap (not really but i mean as morally)

giddyup

rediguana wrote:

I was in Amsterdam with two male friends in 1999. We went to the Rijks Museum, a tulip market, cafes etc. We hardly ever went to prostitutes.

I was reading through your post and halfway through the last line I was thinking what a cnut but then I finished the sentence. You sir, are a hero. Still belly-laughing.

chump

If I were you I'd follow him over. Try and get the following flight, stay in a hotel/hostel neighbouring his, tail him wherever he goes, keep on the dark side of the street, and try to remain inconspicuous by wearing a costume. Do this, and not get seen and you'll know for a fact if he cheats on you or not - and then you'll know if you can trust him.

NutJob

Ok i think im one of the group of 4 (now 5 at last count)

I originally booked this for my 25 birthday(21st May) for the dates 18-21st and was originally three people including me. A lads weekend
was not the original intention. Kite surfing and easy access to Weed was mine and still is (weather dependent). Thought it was better than a dublin pub

If im correct and this is the group i doubt any of the guys would have any issues with you coming along.

As for the issues with your boyfriend that is entirely up to you to resolve and if you resolve them i don't see any problem in getting tickets and finding a hostel as the group is staying on the coast(not amsterdam). I will gladly help you arrange this when issues are resolved.

Pm me if you want to confirm anything but i think talking to your boyfriend may be a good idea if you have concerns.

No one in the group will here a word of this from me.

Marksie

You know,
I have walked around the red light district in amsterdam looking at the crowds and the full windows

There is nothing even remotely sensual, erotic or stimulating about it.

To have it described as the best s*x ever says more about the poster..anyways.

OP would you have an issue if he had said antwerp or paris. yet both have very active red light districts.
I think you have to look at what the real reason is.

Higgsy

Could it be that this thread has gone off the orginal topic.

To the OP, calm yourself, if you make a fuss you will create a problem out of nothing.

Relax

Mighty_Mouse

as I do trust my bf... it's more about him thinking 'oh WHY do I have a girlfriend etc...'+ realising that it's better to be single etc... I know... ridiculous eh.
Of all his friends I've met, they're ALL single...

So you dont have trust issues.
You just have insecurity issues.
Still not any fun to have a gf ranked by insecurities so something you need to tackle. ie change what you dont like about yourself for your own good.

I mean, lads, what if your girlfriend was going somewhere with a bunch of single girl friends, that had naked buff guys in the window... would any of ye feel even the slightest bit of, fear?

No not really. Anyone can get laid any weekend night, in any town in Ireland.
Girls get chatted up waaaaaay more than fellas.
Does it mean that I need to chase the gf around the place checking on her. Or worse still, panick if any half-decent looking bloke comes up to her?
Doesnt work in reality. Well-founded Trust does.

greenkittie

Gil_Dub wrote:

Do you really believe that? Really?....

....I have a lovely little bridge for sale if you're interested?

Look, seriously, he wouldn't want to bring you if it was a straight up lads weekend. He might tell you he would like to but can't because yadda yadda, but trust me on this, he'd only be doing it to satisfy your need to be needy.....

Seeing as you know neither I nor my boyfriend this is something of an assumption. I wouldnt go out with the kind of guy who liked lads weekends. I dont like "lads" at all.

ntlbell

greenkittie wrote:

I wouldnt go out with the kind of guy who liked lads weekends. I dont like "lads" at all.

What the hell? I don't think there's a guy on the planet who doesn't like a break away now and again with the "lads"

grow up, get some self worth or stay single.

errygrry

I just registered there. I'm the original poster.

I put up a post under the unregistered name I was using about an hour ago (it didn't appear), just to say everything was cool and that I was indeed worrying pointlessly... and thanks for the replies etc. I think I just needed to get some worries out of my head... when I do this, they usually go away. So I'm going to be a cool girlfriend and let him away with his friends... any thing else would be ridiculous and over bearing.

Galadriel

Originally Posted by digitally-yours
If he dosent then why is he going to that specific place ?

Why go to Spain, France, America if thats the case? I'm sure they have prostitutes and drugs aswell?!

um7y1h83ge06nx

errygrry wrote:

I just registered there. I'm the original poster.

I put up a post under the unregistered name I was using about an hour ago (it didn't appear), just to say everything was cool and that I was indeed worrying pointlessly... and thanks for the replies etc. I think I just needed to get some worries out of my head... when I do this, they usually go away. So I'm going to be a cool girlfriend and let him away with his friends... any thing else would be ridiculous and over bearing.

Good stuff. Hope he enjoys it and everything works out.

seamus

greenkittie wrote:

Seeing as you know neither I nor my boyfriend this is something of an assumption. I wouldnt go out with the kind of guy who liked lads weekends. I dont like "lads" at all.

See, you've made an assumption about "Lads" weekends

Although it shares a name with the "Lads" culture, it doesn't necessarily mean the same thing.

For one group of guys, a lads' weekend may involve sitting on the beach all day, doing a bit of swimming, going out to a medium-priced restaurant, and then going to the pub for a bit of a laugh.
For another group of guys, a lads' weekend may consist of non-stop heavy drinking, puking everywhere, snogging everything in sight, and generally acting like one of the shirtless, bright-red morons you'd see on a Sky One reality tv programme.

"Lads' weekend" is really just another word for "Going on a holiday with my buddies that the general female populous probably wouldn't enjoy".

It's exactly like hen nights and stag nights. They don't necessarily consist of an entire night staggering around half dressed and groping up every member of the opposite sex you can find. They just have a bad rep.

professore

chump wrote:

If I were you I'd follow him over. Try and get the following flight, stay in a hotel/hostel neighbouring his, tail him wherever he goes, keep on the dark side of the street, and try to remain inconspicuous by wearing a costume. Do this, and not get seen and you'll know for a fact if he cheats on you or not - and then you'll know if you can trust him.

Excellent - I like it !!!!

WindSock

You're probably just feeling a bit left out, but as you have said before you have already been there you would like to go back, no doubt your boyfriend and his friends would go back again at some stage but for now, your boyfriend just wants to have a little bit of silly fun with his friends. It's only for a couple of nights and not all males go to visit the window section when they get there.

Flinty

Peewee_lane wrote:

if he even has ONE outgoing friend who jumps for a prostitute, they'll all be in on it.

Rubbish

Marksie

Peewee_lane wrote:

"Theres always the one"

I went with girls flinty and they had twosomes with their boyfriends, and even the queiter couple out of our group went and did it, and it destroyed their relationship. When your in a city like Amsterdam, and the pic n mix is drugs and sex, I believe that ther'll be unattached guys who'll go for the prostitute, and peer pressure as to the ones who dont with birds. Irish men are Irish men. Am I probably going to get slack for saying that? Who cares.. its true.

don't you mean threesomes or foursomes, most couples do twosomes.

Peewee_lane

marksuttonie wrote:

don't you mean threesomes or foursomes, most couples do twosomes.

Yesh. I do. ( Although I'd rather not think about it too much *shudder*)

humanji

Peewee_lane wrote:

I went with girls flinty and they had twosomes with their boyfriends, and even the queiter couple out of our group went and did it, and it destroyed their relationship. When your in a city like Amsterdam, and the pic n mix is drugs and sex, I believe that ther'll be unattached guys who'll go for the prostitute, and peer pressure as to the ones who dont with birds. Irish men are Irish men. Am I probably going to get slack for saying that? Who cares.. its true.

You seriously don't know what you're talking about, but since we're making gross generalisations, you're a woman and aren't fit to think for yourself.

OP, as has been said, you've nothing to worry about. Just enjoy yourself while he's gone and remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder (or something like that ).

Peewee_lane

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :mad:

Me mad at you

me not fit to think for me self so me let fist do the talking

greenkittie

ntlbell wrote:

What the hell? I don't think there's a guy on the planet who doesn't like a break away now and again with the "lads"

grow up, get some self worth or stay single.

Thats like saying every girl loves "girly holidays" which i can safely say i don't. I think you need a mix of genders to make things more interesting. I am especially against hen and stag party's. Pure common behavior.

Peewee_lane

Ok....you know what. I retract my statment. It aint worth it. Gone..vamoose....dead.

Flinty

Peewee_lane wrote:

Ok....you know what. I retract my statment. It aint worth it. Gone..vamoose....dead.

Oh, well that makes you right so. I've been to Amsterdam when half the group would have been with hookers and the other half not...regardless of drink or drugs. We must have been the exception though, i presume.

~nop~

Ah op good on you for deciding not to worry about it. And sure he'll miss you all the more by the time he gets back!

ntlbell

greenkittie wrote:

Thats like saying every girl loves "girly holidays" which i can safely say i don't. I think you need a mix of genders to make things more interesting. I am especially against hen and stag party's. Pure common behavior.

Oddball's probably don't enjoy it, but the rest of the normal people in the world do.

against hen/stags??? wtf!!!!

You sound like a joy to be around!!

LegacyUser

'Sorry - but it's off limits.

It's a lads weekend away.
They will want to be smoking the ganja, drinking
the beers and, yes, maybe 'sowing the last few
wild oats' with a very beautiful girl before settling
down.

That's what going specifically to Amsterdam
is all about.

I would not even think any more about it, if
I was U.'

Flinty

ntlbell wrote:

You sound like a joy to be around!!

well, her boyfriend thinks she's great craic altogether.

aurel

Flinty wrote:

well, her boyfriend thinks she's great craic altogether.

youcancallmeal

OP make sure to give your boyf an extra special treat before he does
That way he'll be thinking about you the whole time he's over there*



* This may or may not work

ntlbell

youcancallme>al wrote:

OP make sure to give your boyf an extra special treat before he does
That way he'll be thinking about you the whole time he's over there*



* This may or may not work

After an hour in a decent cafe he won't know who HE is never mind her

bill_ashmount

greenkittie wrote:

Thats like saying every girl loves "girly holidays" which i can safely say i don't. I think you need a mix of genders to make things more interesting. I am especially against hen and stag party's. Pure common behavior.

lol, I'd say you're good craic on a night out...

WindSock

greenkittie wrote:

Thats like saying every girl loves "girly holidays" which i can safely say i don't. I think you need a mix of genders to make things more interesting. I am especially against hen and stag party's. Pure common behavior.

I wholeheartedly agree. My idea of great craic does not involve wearing L plates, devil horns or angel wings, then getting stuck inside a niteclub with earpiercingly crap music with a gaggle of other girls, aunties and in-laws.

OP, demand he bring you back a nice souvenir, even if it does mean risking his ass through customs

Hoops1888

Tell your boyfriend to go down to a coffeeshop called the bulldog there is a turn right beside it he wont miss it

He will have the best holiday he has ever had

SarahSassy

I think that while people are right in saying that there are good looking girls and also prostitutes in every town its true but you dont have the same opportunity to get up to mischief......

He is 100% entitled to go away with his friends and if you were ok with it you probably would not be posting. I do think he has more chance/ opprtunity of cheating on you when he is away and at the end of the day only himself, the prozzie and his mates are going to know - there is nothing you can do so relax and get on with it.

rediguana

SarahSassy wrote:

I think that while people are right in saying that there are good looking girls and also prostitutes in every town its true but you dont have the same opportunity to get up to mischief......

He is 100% entitled to go away with his friends and if you were ok with it you probably would not be posting. I do think he has more chance/ opprtunity of cheating on you when he is away and at the end of the day only himself, the prozzie and his mates are going to know - there is nothing you can do so relax and get on with it.

Relax? After this?

Idbatterim

to the Op, a few months ago i would have seen your point, but honestly if you went it would change the entire holiday dramatically, i went away with a few of my mates skiing in January, 4 lads went, there was no way i would want my girlfriend to go, the same if she was going away with her mates, i would never go. It may be a bit different if there were 4 lads and a girl friend going but a girlfriend is tottally different. I love my girl friend but even thinking about it makes me laugh, there is just no way i would do it, it wouldnt be fair on any party, yourself , the bf or his mates.

cowzerp

because your lack of trust, i hope he scores a lovely prossie..then you'll be sorry for being a moan.

Hoops1888

Guys only go there for two things lets all be honest im sorry to the OP, I was there three times. Not really a place for a woman IMO wouldnt really enjoy unless you smoke all crack heads on the streets walking around after you asking to buy crack or coke (Just incase anyone is going DONT NOT BUY OFF THE PEOPLE IN THE STREETS becasue their not real) then walking around late at night loads of guys wearing balaclavas, and not to mention the girls fifty yoyo's for 20mins

SarahSassy

rediguana wrote:

Relax? After this?

Unfortunately, there is nothing she can do except bar him from going which isnt going to work. My point is to let him off and dont try to change what you cant change...

I have been there numerous times and dont like the place. I felt constantly harrassed by drunken / stoned men and while normally I like the attention of a nice man there was a very seedy element there and the majority of those I spoke to were only there to score... Obviously there will be exceptions.

6ix

boreds wrote:

I wholeheartedly agree. My idea of great craic does not involve wearing L plates, devil horns or angel wings, then getting stuck inside a niteclub with earpiercingly crap music with a gaggle of other girls, aunties and in-laws.

OP, demand he bring you back a nice souvenir, even if it does mean risking his ass through customs

That's idiotic. Not all hens/stags involve the above elements. Some women go away for spa weekends etc, while some men go to do some adventure weekends. Both of which might be followed by a night's boozing, but it doesn't have to be as tacky as you're suggesting.

OP - Couples need time apart as well as together. This year I've a long weekend abroad with my mates, and another longer holiday with my girlfriend. That's more natural.

Greenkittie - It hardly seems plausible that in order to relax/enjoy an activity or holiday that you should want your other half there -in fact it strikes me as particularly clingy.

Carrigart Exile

Cateym wrote:

This is not a regular weekend though is it, this is Amsterdam! Do you think the OP would be on here posting if it was say Liverpool, I don't think so. I wonder OP is it really the fact he is going away without you or is it where he is going is causing the problem??

Oh come on Amsterdam is sheer Disney now. Do you think he will be unable to resist the charms of a prostitute who displays herself in a window. I've been there it aint pretty.

Jesus Wept

Anti wrote:

Why the feck should he take you to tag along for the weekend when its a "lads weekend"

Let the lad go and have some fun. But i think your more worried that he might go to the bannana club, or visit celebrity street. If you know you can trust him you have nothing to worry about.

As for ihs friend, he dosent sound like much of a friend to be honest.

Why dont you and a few of your girl friends head to paris/milan/london for a weekend of shopping?

Banana Club

seems harmless.

Jesus Wept

Attol wrote:

Personally I don't get the whole "lads holiday" thing. I just think it's a tad cliched.

cliché? lol...

us lads don't sit around worring if 'lads weekends' are in vogue/out of season/'so last year'.

They are good craic.

theKED wrote:

This is completely true!
Don't let him go.
I've cheated this way too, they are too hard to resist.
Its like telling Jordan or Pamela Anderson no thanks, i have a lovely girlfriend at home.

wow, what utter jibberish.

Firstly, Jordan is rough.

Anyhow, from what I have heard, the girls in the window are far from top quality, which is neither here nor there really, but I don't think
they are a bunch of irresistible godesses that no man can resist. :rolleyes:

theKED wrote:

If he loves you he'll let you come - if he doesn't love you he'll go with the lads.
You need to give him an ultimatum.

Insane. No matter how much he loves her, he would be better of not going than bringing her along, it is a lads weekend, he either
goes without the mrs, or doesn't go. You don't bring a gf/wife to a lads weekend, it's not just his weekend, it is the property of said lads.


As for if he loves her? They don't have to spend each waking second in each other companies, its a lads weekend ffs, they can fart and burp and watch tv
with their hands down their pants, wear the same clothes for consecutive days, drink pints at 10am, etc etc, without any disapproving eyes.

There is nothing wrong with lads weekends/nights out, or girly nights.

humanji

Hoops1888 wrote:

Guys only go there for two things lets all be honest im sorry to the OP, I was there three times. Not really a place for a woman IMO wouldnt really enjoy unless you smoke all crack heads on the streets walking around after you asking to buy crack or coke (Just incase anyone is going DONT NOT BUY OFF THE PEOPLE IN THE STREETS becasue their not real) then walking around late at night loads of guys wearing balaclavas, and not to mention the girls fifty yoyo's for 20mins

When you go to a place looking for prostitutes and drugs, (which you appear to have) then you're going to focus on all that. Guys do NOT go there just for two things. The Dutch in Amsterdam really hate a lot of the Irish simply because there are so many scumbags who go over there thinking that these are the only reasons the place exists.

I've been there a fair few times (my brother lives there) and I've never been approached by someone trying to sell me drugs and I've never seen anyone in a balaclava:rolleyes:. Amsterdam doesn't have wall to wall hookers on every street. There's one centralised area with the odd one popping up here and there.

And there's plenty of women tourists over there too. It's not just a place guys go (oddly enough, you'll find them gathered in herds around chocolate shops. But I don't want to make any assumptions ).