Your favourite bash.org quotes.

Capt'n Midnight

#602335 +(603)- [X]
<Yaksha> What's a Jewish conundrum?
<justin> I dunno?
<Yaksha> Free ham
<justin> that's not a conundrum, you take the ham and donate it to charity and get the tax write off.


#667770 +(2364)- [X]
(sean__) i want to call you with my cell phone whats your #
(@Pain`) (911)-323-4155
(sean__) dude you made me call the cops what the f*ck



#87517 +(1091)- [X]
<Cotton Mouth> How do you describe the color blue to someone who is blind and has never seen a color before?
<NickBlasta> 0 0 255



#203417 +(826)- [X]
<FirebirdGM> I just called my Futureshop and asked them how much a 20 GB Hard drive weighed when it was full with information, compared to when it was empty. <FirebirdGM> The guy that was on the phone told me that it was only a few pounds difference.
<FirebirdGM> And that's why I don't shop at futureshop.



#617265 +(1023)- [X]
<apeloverage> my friend was fired from his job in a sex shop
<apeloverage> when his boss found evidence that he'd been looking at bus timetables on his work computer



#6128 +(402)- [X]
<ambrgone> the way i figure it, if the hard drives go at 7200rpm on 12V, on
240V, they should go.... EVEN FASTER!!!!!


#22668 +(518)- [X]
<Taganath> Mary had a little lamb. It bumped into a pylon. Ten thousand volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon!

RoyalMarine

#803323 +(1030)- [X]

Crevan Hill says: I used the phrase "tight as a twelve year old" today...
Crevan Hill says: In the middle of class, when talking about how tight you should roll newspapers around dowels
Crevan Hill says: .....the teacher said ladies were present, and I apologized, with the qualifier that "I didn't necessarily mean girls..."

Stercus Accidit

http://bash.org/?642195

Thats class, and will be in my sig now...

JIZZLORD

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Nobody mentions my mishap.
>_>

reed page 1 again!

Tar.Aldarion

Damn you page one, damn you.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

qz

<Hitchhiker> Gotta catch 'em all!
<ManInBlack> STDs!
<marik7772003> gonorrhea, i choose you
<ManInBlack> GO GET 'EM, HIV!
<Hitchhiker> Herpes, fire attack!
<ManInBlack> HIV IS EVOLVING
<ManInBlack> CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR HIV HAS BECOME AIDS!

kev_s88

#520670 +(7209)- [X]

random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye


#454203 +(6614)- [X]

<drmason> there was this one time I was **** to porn...
<drmason> ... I kept a javascript tutorial open in another window so my parents didn't start wondering why I was always on the desktop with no windows showing
<drmason> so I'm just about to splurge when I suddenly hear my dad coming up the stairs
<drmason> alt-tabbed to the other window and tried to pull my boxers up... computer stalled JUST THEN as my dad was opening the door
<drmason> I just stood up and was like "****... dad this honestly isn't what it looks like"
<drmason> and he glanced at the screen and said "I sure hope so because it looks like you're masturbating to a ****ing javascript tutorial"


#823214 +(6562)- [X]

<Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the ******.
<Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the ****ing **** out of him.
<Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he ****ing had:
<Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
<dan> Dude, you ****ing killed McGuyver!

danniemcq

#489851 +(1891)- [X]

<vic> 128kbps is good for music, but for a shower
<vic> it's way more than you need
<Jewass> no way
<Jewass> i need to feel my cleanest
<Jewass> and we have lo-flo shower heads at my house
<Nosnam> Its not a lo-flo shower head. It's a low bandwidth shower head.
<Kurt> golden showers
<Nosnam> golden showers would be AOL
<Nosnam> A dialup shower head is one where you have to stand there for 10 minutes before the water starts coming out
<Nosnam> I use a cisco router with my shower. It's load distribution sprays my entire body at once
<Nosnam> I forgot to enable WEP encryption on my 802.11G shower... I was showering, and my neighbor joined me
<Chamuyo> I remember back in my time when you had to order your water and it got delivered in paper envelopes with stamps glued on them
<vic> that's taking it to far
<vic> gtfo

S.I.R

#877430 +(2825)- [X]

<richcollins> christ how long does a reboot take
<w3wsrmn> took him 3 days


lol.

Turd Ferguson

<outcaste> ROTFBMALFO!
<outcaste> Rolling On The Floor Because My Artificial Limbs Fell Off

fallouswk > bwahahahaha. coworker comes in with a problem, gets halfway into the explanation and then pauses and says "umm, it smells like you've been farting in here" "yes, I have" "I'm going to leave now" "I think that would be best"

<TrouT> anyone know what this means:
<TrouT> python2.1: can't open file '/usr/local/sbin/RegisterVh3Service'
<+toad-> I think python2.1 can't open the file /usr/local/sbin/RegisterVh3Service

I love bash.org

kirankhan

Very nice i like it very much

BrokenArrows

#881388 +(1523)- [X]

Helrich: so i was at the diner this morning, and i was really hungry.
Helrich: i got a big plate of scrambled eggs and started eating them super fast
Helrich: when i stopped to breathe, half the plate was gone and i shouted DOMINATING!!!
Helrich: everyone in the diner stopped what they were doing and stared at me for along time until someone from across the room shouted HUMILIATION!!!
Helrich: I gotta stop playing Quake.