Brothers, Sisters and Miss Fluff, I have a confession to make

Tom Dunne

So there I was, out for lunch on this glorious day that's in it and of course there was only one thing on my mind.

There appears to be some mythical switch in my brain that engages when the sun shines and obliterates all reason and logical thinking and focuses on just one thing.

One thing that us brothers know and love so well, something that brings us great pleasure, something we share with that someone special, something that makes us big and strong and masculine.

I am of course referring to beer.

But could I convince my co-workers to go for a beer? Not a hope. So walking back from lunch, feeling dejected, I sought solace in what could only be described as nothing more than a girly drink - a Frappacino.

It's only as I get to the bottom of this beverage that I realise the grave mistake I have made. What came over me? What put a bloody Frappacino into my mind? Why was I willing to subject myself to public humiliation by even ordering the damn thing?

A moment of weakness, my brothers, what I am I going to do? How can I right this terrible wrong?

petes

:eek:

watna

Go out and drink twice as much tonight.... to make up for it (seriously I'ma girl and even I wouldn't drink a frappaccino!)

Tom Dunne

I feel so.....so.......dirty.

RE*AC*TOR

Brother Tom, you must repent.

The only adequate measure is two sheets of bacon ribs, hald a dozen crubeens and 4 gallons of Guinness. I hope you have a big pot.

AlmightyCushion

tom dunne wrote:

So there I was, out for lunch on this glorious day that's in it and of course there was only one thing on my mind.

There appears to be some mystical switch in my brain that engages when the sun shines and obliterates all reason and logical thinking and focuses on just one thing.

One thing that us brothers know and love so well, something that brings us great pleasure, something we share with that someone special, something that makes us big and strong and masculine.

I am of course referring to beer.

But could I convince my co-workers to go for a beer? Not a hope. So walking back from lunch, feeling dejected, I sought solace in what could only be described as nothing more than a girly drink - a Frappacino.

It's only as I get to the bottom of this beverage that I realise the grave mistake I have made. What came over me? What put a bloody Frappacino into my mind? Why was I willing to subject myself to public humiliation by even ordering the damn thing?

A moment of weakness, my brothers, what I am I going to do? How can I right this terrible wrong?

Brother Tom what had entered your mind when you ordered that thing (can't bring myself to call it a beverage)?

John Mason

i am sorry TD, i cant even look at you right now, i feel sick to the pit of my stomach, i am so ashamed of you.:mad:

Tom Dunne

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Brother Tom what had entered your mind when you ordered that thing (can't bring myself to call it a beverage)?

I don't think there was anything in my mind at that particular moment. It's all a blur.

Where I was sitting for lunch, the sun was shining onto my bald patch. Maybe the part of my brain that deals with logic and reasoning was burnt?

That must be it.

AlmightyCushion

tom dunne wrote:

I don't think there was anything in my mind at that particular moment. It's all a blur.

Where I was sitting for lunch, the sun was shining onto my bald patch. Maybe the part of my brain that deals with logic and reasoning was burnt?

That must be it.

I think you're actually quite lucky. The sun was probably cooking your brain. If you had stayed there any longer God only knows what would have happened. You could have gone and bought a pink shirt or something :eek: Head over to the bar when you get over this traumatic event, I have a pint on for ya......or would you rather a wkd:D

The Bollox

AlmightyCushion wrote:

I think you're actually quite lucky. The sun was probably cooking your brain. If you had stayed there any longer God only knows what would have happened. You could have gone and bought a pink shirt or something :eek: Head over to the bar when you get over this traumatic event, I have a pint on for ya......or would you rather a wkd:D

woah woah, a fag-achinno is one thing, but a wkd? that's below the belt!

Slow Motion

AlmightyCushion wrote:

......or would you rather a wkd:D

The mans already down brother Cushion ! No need to kick him !

jester77

Don't worry brother Tom. We all make errors but it's how we react to these errors that make us the men we are. Just have an extra battered sausage after the pub tonight

Tom Dunne

So tonight, it is the Redemption of Tom Dunne.

I will be drinking myself stupid to cleanse my soul of this terrible plague, the Frappacino.

I will then be wheeled to the nearest chippers where I will have ordered for me two snack boxes, two battered sausages, a spice burger and a local speciality that is the "Mega Burger".

Will this redeem me? Will this right the terrible wrong?

Zaph

Brother Tom, I feel your pain and disappointment with your co-workers. The sun was shining and naturally this makes one think of beer, I have one beside me as I type, but if the girls you work with could not be convinced to have a beer you should have done what every man does in moments like this - bottle your feelings up to let them fester for a while. The fact that you sought solace in one of those things (I can't even bring myself to type the word. OK, I admit I can't spell it properly either, happy now?) leads me to believe that you do not understand the meaning of the word solace. It is something that can only be found at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey, no other alcoholic drink will do. The fact that you chose a non-alcoholic *spit* drink merely compounds the disgrace.

However, I do believe the ability to redeem himself is in every man. It's a bank holiday weekend, which gives you an extra day to do so. We will see you back here sober next Tuesday, but not before then Brother Tom. Now go and make amends and we'll have no more of this sort of nonsense.

Miss Fluff

tom dunne wrote:

I feel so.....so.......dirty.

Drink to forget Tom, drink to forget. I've bought you a drink over at the bar.;)

AlmightyCushion

Just drink like a fish for the rest of the weekend that should more than make up for it.

jester77

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Just drink like a fish for the rest of the weekend that should more than make up for it.

Do fish drink
When you think about it, the oceans must be full of fish pee :eek: ... hmm, I better get back to the bar!

AlmightyCushion

jester77 wrote:

Do fish drink
When you think about it, the oceans must be full of fish pee :eek: ... hmm, I better get back to the bar!

Thank God I only drink beer and none of this water stuff the doctor keeps recommending. ppfft Doctors what do they know.

5starpool

You drank a whatawhato?

I am very disappointed Brother. If you were going to drink a non alcoholic drink then at least you should have had a high sugar, stomach destroying, teeth rotting drink such as coke. This would maintain the illusion of excessive beer drinking by adding to the manly swell of the belly while also allowing you to impress the winnims that work with you with a few choice burps.

For pennace take 10 Guinness, 4 Jameson and a triple burger.

dr strangelove

Ah, brother Tom, i recently discovered that Leo Burdocks in Rathmines are now selling battered and deep-fried mars-bars.

I think one (or two) might well take away the taste of...... that..... coffee..... thing.

The Ritz

Brother Tom,

For Shame......... how anyone could be brought to imbibe such gack is indeed a mystery - I blame your co-workers, who refused to go beer-drinking with you, the feckless lot.

You have recognised that this was an aberration on your part - continue as before, dedicate yourself to beerage and soon this distasteful episode will be a distant memory.


Ritz.

Tom Dunne

Brothers, I need your support.

In an effort to cleanse myself, I am delighted to report that I am currently on beer no. 6 tonight.

But I have been tempted by the Dark Side.

A Baileys has been put in front of me.

While the man in me says "off with that girly drink", the softer side of me says "oooh, that would be nice".

I feel a disturbance in the force. I feel I want beer no. 7, but I am somehow drawn towards that milky looking, glass of sweetness that is the glass of Baileys.

Damn that sun did some damage to me today.

What should I do?

trout

i say go for it Brother Tom have the Baileys ... shure a change is as good as a rest ... then have 4 kebabs when you've skulled beer number 7.

that's most likely the reason for your abberations today ... shure you're not aytin' proper.

see you in the bar later on ?

Tom Dunne

trout wrote:

see you in the bar later on ?

Baileys is gone.

I'll be in the bar in 5.

John Mason

oh i am drunk already, god damn rum - but stay away from the baileys, next you will telling us you are dancing around singing YMCA brother

Tom Dunne

On YouTube right now - "Sometimes when we touch" the classic by Dan Hill.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

RE*AC*TOR

Brother this is a true test of your repentence. Don't give in. Get a whiskey instead. You know its the only way.

Tom Dunne

What's with the puppy dog?

RE*AC*TOR

a faithful companion.

for fetching beer.

Tom Dunne

That's ok.

As long as you are not, like, cuddling it or anything.

RE*AC*TOR

Brother Tom, this is serious. I am getting worried about your general health, its an odd corruption of your bodily humors that seeing such a beast would send your thoughts in that direction.

r3nu4l

Oh Brothers, I have been neglected this forum for too long now and I see by doing so I have failed Brother Tom in his hour of need. My shame knows no bounds. Fear not Brother Tom your manly acts of drunkeness this night shall act as penance for your unmanly sins!!

I am only thus far on bottle two of Innis & Gunn but it is 6.6% my brother and I have four more of these and a cask strenght 7.7% to go I will save the cask strength bottle to drink in your honour Brother Tom!

It takes a brave man indeed to come to his fellow Brothers and admit his weakness. Now to the bar!!

Tom Dunne

Aw, but it is cute.


What the F**K is happening here? To quote Pink Floyd, "There's someone in my head, but it's not me".

I need no. 8. Sorted.

Zaph

Be strong Brother Tom. It is clear that you are going through some sort of crisis. When you have finished no. 8, do not even pause for breath before starting on no. 9, and no. 10 should not be too far behind. That will remove all thoughts of cute puppies and Baileys no. 2 from you mind. If not, proceed to no. 11 and continue the treatment as required.

Tom Dunne

Thank you, brother zaph. No. 8 has been dispensed with, no. 9 is performing it's duty as requested.

I'll just stay out of the sun, and away from coffee shops of ill-repute tomorrow.

DarkJager

Brothers, I'm sorry to stumble in to your thread but I'm ****ing langers,,,,,

Tom Dunne

DarkJager wrote:

Brothers, I'm sorry to stumble in to your thread but I'm ****ing langers,,,,,

Welcome to the klub, chlub, the gang.

DarkJager

The hizzle my nizzle? SAY WHAT!!!!!

Tom Dunne

DarkJager wrote:

The hizzle my nizzle? SAY WHAT!!!!!

Word.

Hagar

What's this "izzle de drizzle" shyte?

If I want the weather forecast I'll ring 1850 PíSS ING.

Giz a pint there boss please before my throat heals up.

DarkJager

FO shizzle H to da IZZLE, YA'LL KNIZZLE WIZZLE I'MIZZZLE AYSING???

trout

DarkJager wrote:

FO shizzle H to da IZZLE, YA'LL KNIZZLE WIZZLE I'MIZZZLE AYSING???

I think you are trying to tell us your nipples are delightfully tender ? ummmm be-yotch!

Hagar

I just knew I should have kept those Buntús Cáinte tapes...

DarkJager

My niplles could cut diamonds at the moment brother Trout!!!

trout

DarkJager wrote:

My niplles could cut diamonds at the moment brother Trout!!!

Pa trout once described to me the various standards of horn that could be experienced by a young man coming into his prime ... ranging from the semi, or lob, through the chubby, full and raging horn stages and finally into the diamond cutter and now legendary blue veiner ...

so your nipples could cut diamonds eh ? i'll drink to that

DarkJager

*cut cut cut* check that shiznit out brother trout you ****in ;legend!!!

demanufactured

The only way to repent your sins is to get a bottle of JD , stick on Pantera's Vulger display Of Power , and get hammered!!

Jesus Wept

Op, you make me sick

muboop1

tom dunne wrote:

So tonight, it is the Redemption of Tom Dunne.

I will be drinking myself stupid to cleanse my soul of this terrible plague, the Frappacino.

I will then be wheeled to the nearest chippers where I will have ordered for me two snack boxes, two battered sausages, a spice burger and a local speciality that is the "Mega Burger".

Will this redeem me? Will this right the terrible wrong?

it may be advisable to add in a battered mars bar and a kebab...just for safe measure!