Leaving Cert People Types

sunflowerz

The Sweater

This student is under serious pressure to achieve. Medicine is at the top of his CAO form and boy does he intend to get it!

You'll know him by his sweaty demeanour outside the exam hall: frantically sipping a Red Bull and coffee cocktail, checking all fifteen pens for ink and putting the finishing touches his toilet break schedule.

You'll spot him in the exam hall when he calls for extra paper after just twelve minutes, giving every other student a minor heart attack with his frightening writing pace.

Such is the biblical amount of information imparted from his brain during each exam that a forklift is required to lift his exam scripts from his desk.

Furthermore his withered writing hand will need to be amputated half way through the exams and replaced with a four coloured pen. A small price to pay for success.

The Crammer
It sounds like a nightmare but its reality for some. Waking up to find you have to go to an exam is one thing. Opening your eyes to find you're actually in one is another and hardly the encouraging start one needs to the leaving cert.

The dull thud of a head coming to rest on a pencil case will tell you the exact location of your school's number one crammer in the exam hall.

Barely over an hour into the test and this kid will be firmly out for the count as her photographic memory finally runs out of battery.

Staying up 'til 5am the night before the exam, trying to learn a list of obscure human enzymes for the biology paper when she's had the last two years to do it, doesn't say a lot for her hopes to become a doctor.

Most likely to say "I know the exam is tomorrow and I haven't opened a book all year but I've got at least 24 hours of study to sort it out".


The Drama Queen

The water works start outside the exam as the arrival of the big day is too much to take and the tears begin to stream down her contorted face. She hasn't been this traumatised since the death of her pet hamster 'Sully' when she was seven.

She's already in bits before she even turns the exam paper, having forgotten her exam number, ruler and calculator.

And no matter what topics come up she'll be "devastated" and insist that nothing she studied appeared on the paper.

Sobbing and snivelling for the entire three hours, she hands her soggy paper to the supervisor and apologises for existing.

Outside she'll ramp up the water works again to maximise sympathetic hugs from her classmates before crumbling to the ground vomiting when she finds out that she didn't see the multiple choice questions on the back of the exam paper worth 2%.

Most likely to say: "I was so upset about forgetting my favourite pen that I just blanked for the three hours".


The Gambler

This is a student who is more interested in what's coming up in the exams than actually knowing anything about the subject. Both obsessed and tormented with predicting what each paper is due to produce, in his mind at least, there's never anything said by a teacher coming up to D-Day that isn't supposed to be a hint or a tip off.

If a teacher innocently mentions that the class should brush up on a particular topic, the gambler takes this as a subtle hint that the teacher has "heard something" from "a reliable source" in the Department of Education and assumes that the topic will definitely come up.

He is glued to every radio talk show with exam tips and rereads every leaving cert newspaper supplement he can get his hands on, instead of spending time actually learning course material.

Most likely to say "I heard that the comprehension is definitely going to be about immigration problems in France. My friend's dad drinks with a guy setting the exam."

The Analyst
This is the one person every student should avoid after an exam.

In fact we recommend leaving the scene of an exam immediately after you have handed in your paper to avoid this clown who always insists on a detailed "what did you get" post mortem for every question. What's done is done and can't be changed after you hand in your script!

Although notorious for failing English in his junior cert he booms his authoritarian analysis outside every exam, especially Maths where he can frighten other students by shouting the "correct" answers out loudly so you go home fretting - thinking that you've failed.

Most likely to say "What do you mean you didn't get 3.45 metres for question 3c?! You're sssoo wrong!"

JC 2K3

I'm an analyst in Maths.

genericgoon

Im dangerously close to that analyst description except im good at english. Damn my need to know what others done and compare with my own performance. You forgot about the wasters who look at the paper sigh , do nothing for a half an hour then leave.

daraghc

Finally, a bit of humor in this forum:)

justbringit89

Im the Dickhead who spends all his time on boards

FunkZ

Lmao, with poetry I was The Gambler, thanks God Plath came up, putting her at the end of the list, number four, almost killed me though!

estebancambias

Im the gambler in everything. You adopt the role of the gambler if you have literally done nothing in 5th and the start of 6th year. Lifes too short for cramming

Haven't a Clue

I'm a bit of a gambler and an analyst. Pretty funny descriptions though! I especially like the Crammer:

"The dull thud of a head coming to rest on a pencil case will tell you the exact location of your school's number one crammer in the exam hall."

mathew

how come theres no consistant worker who is confident and calm.. Has all the panicers coming to him for help 2 minutes before the start of an exam asking him to tell them everything he knows. Doenst worry about the exam, does well in it and moves on to the next one??!!!!!!

Haven't a Clue

mathew wrote:

how come theres no consistant worker who is confident and calm.. Has all the panicers coming to him for help 2 minutes before the start of an exam asking him to tell them everything he knows. Doenst worry about the exam, does well in it and moves on to the next one??!!!!!!

Because they're not funny.

mathew

Haven't a Clue wrote:

Because they're not funny.

Good enough reason i suppose!

marco murphy

I am the gambler, spending time on boards getting predictions :P

Donald-Duck

Gambler and crammer tend to be interlocked

pilchard

i'm closest to analyst of the ones described above, but its my way of getting peope back:) ...i'm like the discription below. though, its fairly annoying to be continuously asked questions... its like "seriously if i knew all of the answers do you really think i'd be praying for what I want?? rather than cramming in any extra info that'l go in!"... though i'm also a crammer.

though i have surprised myself by how calm i actually am, no panicing for me!!

mathew wrote:

how come theres no consistant worker who is confident and calm.. Has all the panicers coming to him for help 2 minutes before the start of an exam asking him to tell them everything he knows. Doenst worry about the exam, does well in it and moves on to the next one??!!!!!!

Limerick Dude

JC 2K3 wrote:

I'm an analyst in Maths.

Wanker....

Suppose im a crammer so....

Enemy Of Fate

Well according to those descriptions i'm a crammer,analyst and a gambler.Although i'm mostly a crammer.

Naikon

I am a crammer and gambler:D

______

I'm the one who doesn't do anything and repeatedly says "if i fail sure i can just repeat in athlone"

persian

LazyFingers wrote:

Lmao, with poetry I was The Gambler, thanks God Plath came up, putting her at the end of the list, number four, almost killed me though!

I slowly read the poets,starting at the top and working downwards,got my heart was pounding after reading 3 and still seeing no plath...
btw im a gambler

blondie07

Definately a mixture of the crammer and the gambler. didnt pay off for irish paper 2 today so completely doubting my methods which had served me so well on wednesday for english! the analyst, omigod, im sorry but it really freaks me out when people go through all the answers after the exam. my friend made me go through each individual answer with her in the comprehension yesterday right after the exam. then she went home and went through it with a dictionary! talk about torturing yourself!

sunflowerz

LOL...i think im actually a mixture of everything!!!

Dean-16

im a crammer and a gambler:(

mang87

Cramming gambler



Or maybe something more descriptive like "Lazy asshole"


It's 5pm and I've still not been able to get into studying stuff for tomorrow. Oh dear.