For the men: do you enjoy peeing sitting down?

Dub13

BaZmO* wrote:

After sex it's a necessity

This brings back memory's of my childhood,a few Min's after my mother and father had there 'special time together' my father would piss out the back.I was able to spot the sequence,even at a young age I was a bright cnut (but not bright enough to kop what the 'special time together' was).

So I used to ask my father why he pissed out the back after the special time together and he would just say you will understand when you are older son.

Dr. Seuss

BaZmO* wrote:

Is that you best come back? Ah bless!

Well, considering your initital witfest consisted of "yer ma", I'd say I have nothing left to prove. It's clearly a one-sided battle.

BaZmO*

Dr. Seuss wrote:

Well, considering your initital witfest consisted of "yer ma", I'd say I have nothing left to prove. It's clearly a one-sided battle.

2 hours for that? You're on fire tonight!!!

Jigsaw

Deleted User wrote:

Only when drunk, and afraid of making a mess off the jax.

Also.....


I thought my family were the only ones who ever called it a "po", thank you for showing me otherwise.

I am also aware of the existence of the PO. I've heard th expression for being drunk, "you're as full as a po". Excellent!!:D

I only piss sitting down when crimping one off. Sometimes the sphincteral relaxation makes it inevitable.

SligoBrewer

the idea of disgracing mankind by sitting while taking a piss disgusts me:p

Mezcita

(tucks mickey into sock)

I don't even know how to begin answering this question.......

AlmightyCushion

Huggies FTW

faceman

any women want to comment on their bloke/father/brother etc peein on the seat while standing?

oh and the japanese prefer to sit too according to this

Anti

So unbuckeling you belt. pulling down the trousers and boxers is more hassle then whipping the awuld fella out?

Peeing sitting down... Pft..

Winters

I like to drunkenly lean against the wall.
If I sit down id probably fall asleep.


Also, extra hasstle as Anti says above, its really not worth it.

mcauley

funniest thread ever!!

Lirange

Only on two occasions would I sit for a whiz.

1. When it coincides with a #2

2. When my bladder gun is still in a concrete state ... as oft happens in the morning or when interrupted by the alarm bell mid-foreplay. I tried it many times when I was single but it's no longer an option now. It's hard to be patient enough to wait for a complete return to flaccidity. But I can tell you there were times when I created some majestic parabolas. Of course I had to back up quite a few paces to accomodate the large arc. The most challenging part is when your pecker is transitioning mid-whiz. The arc is changing and it's hard to control the trajectory. I feel like Dr. Peter Venkman when he first tried to use his Proton Pack. But if you practice enough your marksmanship will improve.

Anti

Sit on the jacks when you got wood you say? I dont fancy dipping the purple headed warrior in the jacks water tbh

Tar.Aldarion

He retreats when you sit on the toilet.

imeatingchips

If it's the morning after and even the action of looking downards makes me feel like I'm going to fcukin wallace n grommit everything (including valuable guts that I need to live) then I'll sit down n hold the head in hands and piss for 5 minutes solid and cry but no tears come out cos I'm too manly and/or sick

Duggy747

Peeing with a woody is a horrible way to start the day, especially after a heavy night. your brain doesn't have enough power to boot up and calculate the trajectory & correct axis and your pressure gauge is pretty much shot so it's set to max resulting in you trying to tame a bull. That and trying to get your lil' friend to aim down is like bending your arm the wrong way

I'll only sit when I'm ejecting a meat cigar, toilet seats are far too cold and going to all that trouble to drop yer knickers ain't ma' thing.

jester77

What's all this crazy talk about sitting to pee. To quote myself from another thread as I'm too lazy to write this again

Evolution has lead to man being able to stand and pee at the same time and you decide to go against 1000's of years of male progression by sitting and peeing... tut tut, *bows head in shame* plus sitting and peeing also has the awful side effect of enducing sleepness!

WetDaddy

You guys still pee *in* the toilet...? Pfth. Babies.

Dr. Seuss

Anti wrote:

Sit on the jacks when you got wood you say? I dont fancy dipping the purple headed warrior in the jacks water tbh

WTF? Most wood goes UPWARDS, not DOWN into the toilet bowl...

Steve_o

Dr. Seuss wrote:

WTF? Most wood goes UPWARDS, not DOWN into the toilet bowl...

Maybe Anti has invented some strange way of lying across the Jax or something....if not, then explain!!!

Anti

Dr. Seuss wrote:

WTF? Most wood goes UPWARDS, not DOWN into the toilet bowl...

And what you sit on the jacks and piss up into the air? You have to hold the awuld fella down into it if you dont wanna be cleaning up the ceiling and walls.

Anti

Not that ive every done it before you see.. <_<

Dr. Seuss

Anti wrote:

And what you sit on the jacks and piss up into the air? You have to hold the awuld fella down into it if you dont wanna be cleaning up the ceiling and walls.

You're weird. When I get wood, it points upwards, and it's too hard to push down a complete 180 degrees, so I've no idea what you mean by "you have to hold the awuld fella down into it".
And even if I did try, why the fook would I have a boner while sitting on the toilet in the first place? I've no idea what you're on....

AlmightyCushion

Dr. Seuss wrote:

And even if I did try, why the fook would I have a boner while sitting on the toilet in the first place? I've no idea what you're on....

Viagra?

Dr. Seuss

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Viagra?

Predictable, but I still roffled.

But Viagra would make you totally stiff, no? His wood must be just semi-stiff, since he has the amazing ability to push it down 180 degrees into the toilet bowl!

Anti

it was a responce to duggy's post, about pissing with wood !

Crazy Christ

all this talk of pissing is giving me wood right now

proteus

Standing or Sitting. Hmm depends.

Did you ever stumble into the jacks in the middle of the night, (standing) half-asleep letting out a stream of piss only to be jarred from sleep by the drumming sound of piss bouncing off the closed toilet lid? Man that gets messy!

Dr. Seuss

proteus wrote:

Did you ever stumble into the jacks in the middle of the night, (standing) half-asleep letting out a stream of piss only to be jarred from sleep by the drumming sound of piss bouncing off the closed toilet lid? Man that gets messy!

No - my bathrooms have lightbulbs in them that illuminate the room.

Lirange

You can't pee when you have full wood. The vas deferens prevents it. However, you can and sometimes find that you must wizz when it's a semi-stiffy. It takes awhile for the blood to disengorge. Just slightly bendable enough to get it under the lip of the bowl but definitely getting misted by the spray back. Not fun but better than the alternative. That is of course unless you can do quick mental Calculus. What goes up must come down and if you've calibrated the correct angle and are experienced enough you can execute the golden arch. I used to be an expert in my youth.

WetDaddy

Lirange wrote:

It takes awhile for the blood to disengorge.

Ugh. Accurate, but disturbing.

2 stroke

What about the guys you see late at night in most city's (well Dublin anyway) who piss on the street while smoking....!!!I find it hard enough as it is to concentrate on doing one thing,I know I would burn my dick if I did that.Thank god I don't smoke.

I'd be afraid to try this,especialy while drunk, I'd end up putting my tool in my mouth by accident.

AntiRip

Just saw this topic and thought it was funny because the mrs. got new mats for the bathroom and for the pass week if I have to wee I kneel down so not to spray around!!:D

Now I'm just using the ensuite because there no mats in there....yet!

Steve_o

2 stroke wrote:

I'd be afraid to try this,especialy while drunk, I'd end up putting my tool in my mouth by accident.

Ha......:D

confused26

Excellent thread, although I feel a more pressing poll would be whether guys wipe they're arse while seated, or do they stand up to do it?
I've conducted some preliminary research and I can tell the country is bitterly divided on the issue. Are u a sitter or a stander?
This may even deserve it's own thread/poll, although I'm too lazy to make one. For the record, I'm in the sitter camp.

JIZZLORD

Who cares, i piss whatever way i want, mostly standing up, though i often sit, depends on how lazy i am.
I'd never sit in a pub or club, but when i'm at work it's a nice 5 minute sit down.

Anti

confused26 wrote:

Excellent thread, although I feel a more pressing poll would be whether guys wipe they're arse while seated, or do they stand up to do it?
I've conducted some preliminary research and I can tell the country is bitterly divided on the issue. Are u a sitter or a stander?
This may even deserve it's own thread/poll, although I'm too lazy to make one. For the record, I'm in the sitter camp.

Ah yes. This also raises the question do you actualy sit or hover( a la women in public toilet ) when you curl one out !

Dun laoire

I piss directly into the bowl and not the sides because it winds up my ma and i once had to sh1t in the shore out the back garden because it kept getting stuck where the arrow points too It was winter and they were very hard.

HashSlinging

used to find it handy to roll a jay while sitting down having a pee.

L31mr0d

man i've had to bite my tongue from laughing all the way through this thread. Kudos to the OP for starting a hilarious thread.

Also, about the poll, when AREN'T options 1 and 2 the same?

Personally, it depends on the situation. Sometimes if i'm out of bed and don't want to turn the lights on to hurt my eyes i'll sit. Or if I get the twinge that twosies might also be on the way i'll sit just in case (there's nothing worse than pi$$ing standing up then midstream you realize you really need a number two aswell)

Also, rofl at the morning wood discussion. How true!

Anywhere outside the home I'll nearly always stand for number 1's.

2 stroke

Anyone ever so drunk that you sat down on a urinal or bidet for a no. 2

AlmightyCushion

2 stroke wrote:

Anyone ever so drunk that you sat down on a urinal or bidet for a no. 2

No but you've given me a very good idea. Imagine the poor b@stard that has to clean that up.

2 stroke

The reason I mentioned it is that I once walked in on a drunk female friend taking a dump in the single urinal in the gents of a small pub. She honestly thought she was in a cubicle in the ladies and complained that the toilet was broken and she kept sliding off.

Dub13

2 stroke wrote:

The reason I mentioned it is that I once walked in on a drunk female friend taking a dump in the single urinal in the gents of a small pub. She honestly thought she was in a cubicle in the ladies and complained that the toilet was broken and she kept sliding off.

Jesus H Christ....did she remember the next day...?

AlmightyCushion

2 stroke wrote:

The reason I mentioned it is that I once walked in on a drunk female friend taking a dump in the single urinal in the gents of a small pub. She honestly thought she was in a cubicle in the ladies and complained that the toilet was broken and she kept sliding off.

:D:D How the hell could you live someting like that done.

2 stroke

She claims that she dosn't remember but I have to remind her every now and then. I'm actualy the only one that knows who did that dump. I helped the girl to the ladies and was seen sneaking out from there with her so everyone in the pub presumed we had been taking advantage of each other at the time and it was easier to pretend that was the truth than say what realy happened.

Setun

confused26 wrote:

Excellent thread, although I feel a more pressing poll would be whether guys wipe they're arse while seated, or do they stand up to do it?
I've conducted some preliminary research and I can tell the country is bitterly divided on the issue. Are u a sitter or a stander?
This may even deserve it's own thread/poll, although I'm too lazy to make one. For the record, I'm in the sitter camp.

More importantly, are you a folder or a scruncher?

Oliverdog

It's all right for you piss-takers. Some of us have to sit down, for medical reasons.


I have a bad back, and my Doctor told me I mustn't lift anything heavy.

Brian Capture

After sex.

Usually if I go for a p*ss after intercourse, the urine comes out in different directions due to my foreskin not having settled back into position. The result is that it can go on the seat, on the floor, down my leg - so it's easier to sit down in that scenario.

MooseJam

Brian Capture wrote:

After sex.

Usually if I go for a p*ss after intercourse, the urine comes out in different directions due to my foreskin not having settled back into position. The result is that it can go on the seat, on the floor, down my leg - so it's easier to sit down in that scenario.

way too much information, i can't believe this thread is still going, someone lock it