Actual Curriculum vitae

jacQues

Working in an Internet café, about three years ago there was a big group of Chinese students looking for summer jobs. Since the majority didn't have computer skills, they came to me with written pieces of paper for me to type out. I must have done at least thirty of them. Most of them were kinda fine, very basic and nothing special, but functional. However, there was one lad who's CV was quite ehrm.....see for yourself! So below is an actual CV I typed up. Its 100% the actual CV, I just replaced some things with asterisks (stars):

Curriculum vitae

Personal details

First name: ***
Surname: ****
English name: *******
Sex: Male
Marital status: Single
Date of birth: **/**/1984
Nationality: Chinese
Phone: 086-*******
Present address: ** *********
Rahoon, Galway

Education

14/03/2004 – present: GCI school learn English language
30/09/2003 – 10/02/2004: First term in college
01/09/2000 – 15/06/2003: Fujian Middle School

Work experience

In China, I worked in factory, staff member in supermarket and waiter in hotel.

In China, the capital is Beijing. I’m studying GCI school. In domestic I attend college, learned about tour and management in hotel. I know management level of hotels. It’s very best in Ireland. I love work in hotels and supermarkets. So I’d like to become master in hotel or supermarket. I will do it best and great. Do well done. I believe God. You believe me? I felt Ireland people very friendly. You’re going to China. You must be to visit the great wall. It’s very grand! Chairman Mao said: “Not arrive the great wall you is not a hero!”

jacQues
(funny hamster)

far2gud

Class - I would hire him/her

TeenageKicks

Not funny tbh

Cake Fiend

Let's see you type up a CV in Chinese so.

That would be funny.

nialo

Why didnt ya just be a decent bloke and fix it up a bit.. wouldnt have been difficult! instead of taking the piss!

stakey

removed as per sticky

Rabies

TeenageKicks wrote:

Not funny tbh

Please read the forum stickies.

One week ban.

PM sent.

Stabshauptmann

Wheres the joke? So (s)he's english is poor, where's the punch line?

biko

When you translate Chinese directly it gets funny.

I will do it best and great. Do well done.
I believe God. You believe me?
You’re going to China. <- I am??

jacQues

Sorry if its not all that funny to ye.

As someone who has to review CVs to select candidates from time to time, this CV is absolutely hilarious, a real cracker. Maybe not so funny to students. I promise to do better next time.

jacQues
(:o hamster)

darkskol

Cake Fiend wrote:

Let's see you type up a CV in Chinese so.

That would be funny.

ctc_celtic

its funny and i like it. its also an original and not the usual regurgitated rubbish that people find on other websites.

Steve_o

I don't get it!

Kone

jacQues wrote:

Sorry if its not all that funny to ye.

As someone who has to review CVs to select candidates from time to time, this CV is absolutely hilarious, a real cracker. Maybe not so funny to students. I promise to do better next time.

jacQues
(:o hamster)

My definition of hilarious and your definition of hilarious differ greatly! :rolleyes:

hotspur

Don't mind them JacQues I cracked up at the last stuff. So the people here don't think that recommending sites to visit in China and quoting Mao is funny and it's just a translation issue? Stick to dick jokes if you wanna please the moron brigade

demanufactured

lol good one

WindSock

Haha. I hope he became master in supermarket

Mahatma coat

boreds wrote:

Haha. I hope he became master in supermarket

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wGR4-SeuJ0

maybe he did

Jesus Wept

any CV that quotes Chairman Mao is impressive in the hilarity stakes, in my book.