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Best ever "guy goes into a bar" joke, in my opinion.

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  • 15-06-2007 1:32pm
    #1
    Wacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭


    So, a guy goes into a bar. He goes up to order a pint, and he notices that there is a massive glass jar crammed full of €50 notes behind the bar. He says to to the bartender: "Hey man, what is the deal with the jar of money?" The reply is "You can enter a contest to win it, if you like". On enquiring as to what he would have to do to enter, he is informed that he has to put in €50 himself before he can even be told. The guy is thinking that there must be about 15 grand in there, so it would be worth a look.
    After cramming the note in, the bartender says the following: "Firstly (while pointing at a small wooden cask behind the bar), you have to drink that down in one go with no pauses. It is Tijuana's hottest pepper Tequila. Secondly, you have to go outside where you will find my chained up pitbull terrier who has a sore tooth. You have to remove that tooth using only your hands. Finally, you have to go upstairs to the bedroom, where you will find my 90year old great aunt who has never had an orgasm in her life. You have to get her off."
    The guy nearly chokes on his drink, and straight away concedes that he would never attempt any of the things involved, and that the bartender was a good conman. He then proceeds to get some serious drinking done with the locals.

    Any, time ticks by, and many drinks are lowered. The lads are all egging our hero on, until eventually he jumps to his feet and shouts "Whurz de Teekeella?" He uncorks it, and starts to drink. His face turns scarlet, and tears stream down his cheek, but he doesn't stop. Eventually he throws the cask down, and it shatters on the ground, and there is not one drop left. Everyone cheers. The guy, with a huge, drunken smile on his face, attempts to strut out the back.

    For the next fifteen minutes, there is a brutal cacophany of raging hound and human suffering. Eventually, the guy comes back in. His shirt is ripped and there are rend marks on his chest. His forearm bears ouncture marks, and there is blood dripping onto the floor. He is soaked in sweat, but looks triumphant. He pauses, and asks everyone:

    "Whurz de old wuman wif de bad tooth."


    Hope you all like it. Took me ages to type!


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