starting to look

allypal

Hi...ive been thinking about finding my birth mum 4 a few years now and i went so far as to get some initial information. but when i found out her name, for some reason i just stopped the search process and that was about 6 years ago. Im 32 and thinking about looking again, but its hard when you think about what might happen???? I know my birth mother had named me and it took her about 16 months before she finallised the adoption and signed the papers. Im putting things off alot and i guess im hopeing to kickstart myself into the process by posting this. its knid pf nice to put this out there. thanx.

chroisa

hi allypal
i think you are brave and right to go look for your birth mother.. its often easier from the outside - but if she kept you for so long, she must have found it very difficult to give you up and most likely only did so for your sake to give you a good upbringing with a family.
Its probably very difficult, but life is short and you may be pleased with the result if you begin with a letter.. Think of it as somebody else out there that loves you...? I wish you well in your search and hope things work out for you.
All the best!!:)

allypal

thanx chroisa....ur right....life is short!!! And whatever happens is okay.
maybe i wasnt ready before to find her and maybe it wasnt the right time. I believe that everything happens 4 a reason.
I hope everything works out well 4 you.

rikerdonegal

Hi allypal,

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

I, myself, wait until my mid-thirties. I could have done it years and years earlier, but I didn't.

And, I actually don't regret waiting, either. Maybe I just would not have been ready or something, I don't know.

I know that my Birth Mother was overjoyed to have contact and (despite having always looked for me) doesn't hold it against me (taking so long).

So, I suppose, all I'm saying is: take your time. Do it when it feels right. It is scary, definitely. And, there are a lot of sad stories out there. A lot. You have to ask yourself how you'll cope/feel if she's not intersted in contact.

But, I wish you luck. The odds are good that your story will have a very happy ending, you know.

Moonbeam

Hi allypal,

Good luck with what ever decision that you make:) I hope it is an exciting and rewarding journey for you.

I did the search with what little info I had when I was 18,I knew my name and place and dob,it only took a few hours in Joyce House which when you think about it is kinda mad.

There is no guarantee the info I have is the correct info but it would be incredibley hard for it not to be.

I sent my mother a christmas card the following year and never hear anything back but as I know nothing about circumstances maybe one day she would like to meet me:)

allypal

its lovley to read other peoples experiences and really motivating. I know the outcome is different for everyone and not always whats hoped for.
New Goal.....finally check out those birth records.....feel very nervous. And im thinking about moonbeam whose taken such a huge step...(and if it was the right address and person - maybe it takes her time to digest the fact that you've made contact?????)....
This sounds silly, but when i think about looking at my own records it doesnt feel right...almost like looking at someone elses diary.......perhaps its because im moving into someone elses space without them knowing or wanting it???????
thanx for all your wishes.
and good luck rikerdonegal with the wonderful challenge of getting to know your new extended family