I like transexual girls, but im a bit confused

Louisevb

Quote "I noticed the use of the term "transgender", seemlying interchanged with "transsexual", but in my experience is very different from "transsexual". Gender is to do with the mind, sexual to do with the body. They are not always mutually inclusive."
The term transgender is used to cover the spectrum from cross dresser through transvestite to Transexual
It is a broad term. The difference between transexuals and the rest is that, with the transexual gender is the issue... a body in the opposite gender to the mind.
With the remainder it is usually sexual and even a fetish. Most transvestites are hetrosexual, or bisexual.

You can be into guys as a m2f transexual, but would always see yourself as female. If you do not see yourself as female then you are not a transexual

LegacyUser

Hi,
posting my own experience here for the benefit of the OP. I accept it may not be everyones idea of good advice and apologise for any offence it may cause as i see there are tgirls posting here, so no offence intended.
Anyway, similar to OP, i too got interested in this type of porn. A little older than the op was, i think i was about 22 when i was first exposed to it, via the internet. Up until then, i had never had any feelings other than heterosexual ones. Had plenty of girlfriends, and was quite happy with women.
I guess i became more or less addicted to looking at ts porn, a friend of mine sent me a link to some ts site as a 'joke' and that was kind of where it started. I downlaoded alot of it, and got more and more curious until eventualy after a couple of years of looking i did what the op was considering, and sought out a ts, and no offense to louise here it was for 'experimenting' purposes. I met a ts anyway, didnt have sex, i couldnt bring myself to, but did fool around, you know yourself.
This was a couple of years ago now...all i can say it did for me was mess with my head. When i was 20, i was happy with how my life was with women, this obsession has done nothing but screw with my head. A few years of confusion thingking 'am i gay? am i straight? am i this, or that', its not a nice place to be. Im trying to just get over it once and for all and sort my head out for good...i am not attracted to men, i never have been, and right now im in a relationship with a girl i love dearly and do not want anything else. this is why i said i dont mean any offence in the beginning of the post, because im sure for alot of people out there its nothing major, just could be viewed as bisexuality, but i can categorically state that if i had NEVER been exposed to ts porn, the thought would never have ONCE crossed my mind. Wether seeing it online awoke some dormant feelings, i dont know, all i do know is i was happier with more peace of mind when they were still dormant. So my advice to the OP is, right now, just STOP. If you value peace of mind, if youre happy being with women, just quit it altogether now, stop the downloading, dont seek out ts's...just leave it be, and move on with your life. Youre young and mixed feelings are normal at that age..unless you really think you might be gay and this is just a gateway to full on gay feelings...my advice is leave it be.

Kazobel

Anthony_1980 wrote:

ud never see ts like u see on film in dub

always just a man with a wig

Thats because most of us have been doing this for a while and pass really well, the whole point is not to look like a man in a wig. If you can't pass before the operation you won't pass after so we put alot of work into our appearence, deportment, how we speak etc. What you see on TV isn't a representation of Transsexuals but more a representation of the Transsexual sterotype that people easier identify with. Not all of us have obvious Adams Apples nor big hands.

To the OP, I'm afraid IMO you're gay or maybe bi. You want to be with someone soley because of a physical attribute that would normaly be considered the male attribute, there's no disire to make any emotional or intellectual connection as in you don't care as long as she has a penis, the penis being the most important factor.

Marksie

Thaedydal wrote:

I would be of the opinion that it is more the the physical attributes that a person is attracted to in another person and when you are interested in them then you will want to please and pleasure them and see them in orgasmic after glow and that can and does transcend what you are willing to do to them and for them never mind what physical parts they have or don't have.

Loving someone regardless of the plumbing.

I dont believe the physicalities would bother me. It would be more important that they were honest with me.
Still as was pointed out, accepting each other totally is one thing, the pressures being brought to bear by the outside may be the difficulty indeed.
The couple may think outside of the box, but the strain they may be under by being open about it would be many times greater.

Stark

Kazobel wrote:

To the OP, I'm afraid IMO you're gay or maybe bi. You want to be with someone soley because of a physical attribute that would normaly be considered the male attribute, there's no disire to make any emotional or intellectual connection as in you don't care as long as she has a penis, the penis being the most important factor.

I'd be inclined to call it a fetish or a kink rather than a sexuality. Or even just simple garden variety curiosity.

Kazobel

Stark wrote:

I'd be inclined to call it a fetish or a kink rather than a sexuality. Or even just simple garden variety curiosity.

And how does giving it a name like that make a guy looking for someone with with a penis any less gay? The main focus of the "fetish", "Kink" or "curiosity" as you call them is still the penis and thats not straight in my opinion.

Stark

Neither does having a foot fetish make you straight, but it doesn't make you gay either. The fact is the guy has stated he's attracted to women, albeit being a bit curious about women with extra attachments.

We had a thread here before where someone was asking if gay guys would go out with an M2F or not, as if the Y chromosome was the only factor for us. The resounding answer was "No, I'm gay. Why would I want to go out with a woman?". Had the question been "would you date an F2M?", I reckon the thread would have gone somewhat differently. There would probably have been a few "oh no, gross" replies but also a few "Maybe, depends" replies also.

You've stated yourself that you identify as M2F. Whom do you think you'll be seeking as a partner, a homosexual man or a heterosexual man?

Kazobel wrote:

still the penis and thats not straight in my opinion.

It's a little piece of flesh that makes up a tiny proportion of someone's body. And it's the last thing someone will see when they look at a prospective partner. The OP will be acting on a certain amount of attraction to the rest of the person before he gets that far, and he's stated that he prefers to act on attraction towards women. If he was gay, then finding someone with a penis would be a lot less complicated.

Hypatia

This individual who posted looking for a woman with a penis is obviously a homosexual in denial of his homosexuality. He needs a feminine face to look at, so as assage his screwed up head that he is in fact not having homosexual sex, when in reality he is.

That individual is not looking for a transsexual person. He is looking for a type of transvestite. In plain language he is looking for a man, not a male to female transsexual person. He nees to book a flight to London, Amsterdam, Berlin, Milan, Bangkok or San Francisco and find the nice feminine man of his dreams.

For those of you who like to think of transsexual people as sex objects. Transsexualism kicks of, in children from about four years old. Transsexual people are not a sex object for you to **** of at, just as people with any other medical condition from chidlhood are not to be wanked of at. Maybe some of you should think about that.

Kazobel

Stark wrote:

Neither does having a foot fetish make you straight, but it doesn't make you gay either. The fact is the guy has stated he's attracted to women, albeit being a bit curious about women with extra attachments.

But thats the thing, it's the extra part that is the focus of his "fetish" and like it or not it's still a male attribute and thats not straight.

We had a thread here before where someone was asking if gay guys would go out with an M2F or not, as if the Y chromosome was the only factor for us. The resounding answer was "No, I'm gay. Why would I want to go out with a woman?". Had the question been "would you date an F2M?", I reckon the thread would have gone somewhat differently. There would probably have been a few "oh no, gross" replies but also a few "Maybe, depends" replies also.

Of course everybody said no, I'd expect nothing less since what would an M2F be able to offer a gay guy in the long term?

You've stated yourself that you identify as M2F. Whom do you think you'll be seeking as a partner, a homosexual man or a heterosexual man?

Why do you assume I'll be seeking a man at all?

It's a little piece of flesh that makes up a tiny proportion of someone's body. And it's the last thing someone will see when they look at a prospective partner. The OP will be acting on a certain amount of attraction to the rest of the person before he gets that far, and he's stated that he prefers to act on attraction towards women. If he was gay, then finding someone with a penis would be a lot less complicated.

No actually he won't, he has a fantasy about being with a TS. He's looking specifically for a TS (because they have a penis). There is no attraction, there won't be dating or romance or any of that stuff because in the end all he'll want is NSA sex to fulfill that fantasy. He doesn't see us as people, he sees us as sextoys and dehumanises us because then afterwards he can walk away confincing himself "I'm straight really, I was never confused". Whomever it is that fullfils that roll for him will never meet his friends, never meet his family and most likely will never be seen in public with him. So to imply that they will be a "partner" is very wrong in this case.

Rev Hellfire

Kazobel wrote:

No actually he won't, he has a fantasy about being with a TS. He's looking specifically for a TS (because they have a penis). There is no attraction, there won't be dating or romance or any of that stuff because in the end all he'll want is NSA sex to fulfill that fantasy. He doesn't see us as people, he sees us as sextoys and dehumanises us because then afterwards he can walk away confincing himself "I'm straight really, I was never confused". Whomever it is that fullfils that roll for him will never meet his friends, never meet his family and most likely will never be seen in public with him. So to imply that they will be a "partner" is very wrong in this case.

I think you're reading too much into this.
It’s not that different from a straight persons fantasy's of the opposite sex and I would assume a homosexual person when also fantasying, when dealing with visual stimuas.
I'm inclined to believe myself that it is a homoerotic fetish, but I'm not sure that makes him totally gay or in denial about his gender ordination. It’s simply not normal straight or from the comments here normal gay behaviour (for what ever the concept of normal stands for).

Stark

Most straight male teenagers could jack off to the thought of a disembodied pair of breasts.

Kazobel

Rev Hellfire wrote:

I think you're reading too much into this.
It’s not that different from a straight persons fantasy's of the opposite sex and I would assume a homosexual person when also fantasying, when dealing with visual stimuas.
I'm inclined to believe myself that it is a homoerotic fetish, but I'm not sure that makes him totally gay or in denial about his gender ordination. It’s simply not normal straight or from the comments here normal gay behaviour (for what ever the concept of normal stands for).

I'n not reading to much into it, I've plenty of experience as do alot of my friends of being propositioned by people like him and we all know how degrading it can feel to be viewed like that, as something to be used and then tossed aside so he can maintain his delusion of being straight but I can also understand why you's view it differently. I suppose it depends on which side of the fence you're sitting. Incidentally, which might make a difference, you are all viewing this from "A guy shagging a girl" perspective but the fantasy is not just of them have sex with the Trans person, a fair few also expect to be giving oral and for the trans person to enter them too.

Karl Hungus

Louisevb wrote:

That picture is of a good friend of mine...

Is she single?

Stark

Kazobel wrote:

a fair few also expect to be giving oral and for the trans person to enter them too.

Yeah men are dogs that way. I remember the last time I was having sex with somebody and he kept trying to touch my body instead of making love to my mind. I felt so violated.

Kazobel

Stark wrote:

Yeah men are dogs that way. I remember the last time I was having sex with somebody and he kept trying to touch my body instead of making love to my mind. I felt so violated.

I didn't mention it to imply something like that I mentioned it because up until now you's have all been viewing it as male/female sex where he's the giver and the TS is the reciever but if they're both givers and receivers then it becomes male/male no matter what way one of them is dressed.

Hypatia

Karl Hungus wrote:

Is she single?

I am;)

Louisevb

As a TS living full time I would like nothing more than to be treated with respect and dignity like any other human being who happens to be female. There are a number of Ts m2f in Ireland who are living in an environment where no one has a clue who or what they are (stealth so called). Personally I am quite "out there" where I'd be fairly well known. but with respect to everyone on this thread, when I read some of the comments, I would just like to fade into the background completely. There is much more to a relationship than someone who looks female but has a penis.... If you try telling that to 99% of Irish men, who consider themselves straight, 99% will walk away in disbelief.
Thinking outside the "box" i.e. whats in the pants etc. is not the forte of any of those men sadly.

Marksie

Kazobel wrote:

I didn't mention it to imply something like that I mentioned it because up until now you's have all been viewing it as male/female sex where he's the giver and the TS is the reciever but if they're both givers and receivers then it becomes male/male no matter what way one of them is dressed.

But to mention this and another point you made earlier. If i was with a partner i am both a giver and reciever.
To me the sex centre is a major source of pleasure and energy, i would want to give as much pleasure as possible. I would be guided by what they wanted not by what i expected.
But i like recieving and that includes a penetrative sense, if the giver is then female does that still make it a male/male dynamic or purely two people giving each other as much pleasure as possible?

Louisevb wrote:

If you try telling that to 99% of Irish men, who consider themselves straight, 99% will walk away in disbelief.
Thinking outside the "box" i.e. whats in the pants etc. is not the forte of any of those men sadly.

Surely that is true of all societies and what you can hope for is at least passive acceptance that and eventually finding the 1% who will think out side the box would those actually consider themselves as labels of staight, bi etc? In thinking that way they would be dismissive of the labels but see sexuality as a fluid organic thing capable of change and growth.

Hypatia wrote:

For those of you who like to think of transsexual people as sex objects.

its a valid point, but is true of any gender unfortunately.

Kazobel

Marksie wrote:

But to mention this and another point you made earlier. If i was with a partner i am both a giver and reciever.
To me the sex centre is a major source of pleasure and energy, i would want to give as much pleasure as possible. I would be guided by what they wanted not by what i expected.
But i like recieving and that includes a penetrative sense, if the giver is then female does that still make it a male/male dynamic or purely two people giving each other as much pleasure as possible?

But you're talking about sex between two people who see each other as equals. These see us as nothing more than objects, things to satisify a fantasy and be discarded at will. No it doesn't make it a male/male dynamic because your with a real girl who's using a sextoy, that doesn't satisfy them, they want a real penis because then if the person looks like a girl they can use phrases like "I'm not gay really because he looked like a girl" and convince themselves of that. Or even worse in, the case of alot of my friends, get their rocks off and then beat the living crap out of them because "I'm not gay, you made me do it"

Surely that is true of all societies and what you can hope for is at least passive acceptance that and eventually finding the 1% who will think out side the box would those actually consider themselves as labels of staight, bi etc? In thinking that way they would be dismissive of the labels but see sexuality as a fluid organic thing capable of change and growth.

But why should we settle for "passive acceptance", no other group has to. Are you suggesting we should just put up with being dehumanised until society changes? just shag every "straight" guy who offers to further our acceptance?

its a valid point, but is true of any gender unfortunately.

No actually, at least men and women are given status as people, as individuals, as humans we aren't by these people.

Rev Hellfire

Kazobel wrote:

No actually, at least men and women are given status as people, as individuals, as humans we aren't by these people.

The idea that this is form of exploitation is the sole preserve of the Trans community is beyond laughable.
Where it applies to you it is targeted at minority audience.
Women on the whole have to deal with it daily from the mainstream media; you need look no further than covers of computer and car magazines, tabloid newspapers and the top shelf in the newsagents.

Kazobel

Rev Hellfire wrote:

The idea that this is form of exploitation is the sole preserve of the Trans community is beyond laughable.
Where it applies to you it is targeted at minority audience.
Women on the whole have to deal with it daily from the mainstream media; you need look no further than covers of computer and car magazines, tabloid newspapers and the top shelf in the newsagents.

I never said it was the sole preserve of the trans community to be treated as sex objects but the difference is you's are also treated as people we're always treated as sextoys, to them we're nothing. They don't want to know the person, the personallity, they have no intrest in our likes or dislikes, our ambitions hell even wether we can string two words together. All they want is to shag us and as such deserve as much respect from us as they give which is none. They call themselves "Admirers" but the way they treat us is anything but admiration, at most it's contempt. If they dehumanise us we have every right to do the same to them and as such most of us see them as nothing and never get involved with them no-matter how hard they try. I personally think they are all the spawn of Satan and am well known for treating them like crap at every opportunity ( http://www.gaire.com/e/b/article.asp?id=2185&f=y ) because thats all they do to us.

Boston

That makes you a victim. You're giving someone control over you by trying to treat them in a way similar to how you're being treated or others you know are being treated. If someone wants to be in a submissive dehumanising relationship that's their choice, if you don't that's your choice as well.

Kazobel

But my point is it's never a "relationship", the last thing from their mind is a relationship. All they want is NSA, secretive, tacky sex. We're nothing to them so they're nothing to us. I'm a victim to no-one, not one of them has ever bedded me and not one ever will.

Boston

Kazobel wrote:

But my point is it's never a "relationship", the last thing from their mind is a relationship. All they want is NSA, secretive, tacky sex. We're nothing to them so they're nothing to us. I'm a victim to no-one, not one of them has ever bedded me and not one ever will.

Sweeping generalised statement. Believe it if you want and choose your partners accordingly, thats your right, but you've no insight into someone elses relationships.

You are in a victim because you've allowed the things that other people do to have a large impact on how you deal with people. They've had a strong affect on you and as such have a degree of power over how you live your life.

teemm

Like Kazobel and LousieVB, I see myself...I am a m2f transexual or whatever the current term is. Point is, like them I essentially have a female mind but a male body. Like any woman I prefer sex within a loving relationship or to at least like the person.

That is the essential problem, men looking for sex or an 'experience' with a TS are exactly the sort of men a TS does not want to meet. Transvestites that's different. They're men playing at being a woman and it is my belief that there is no such thing as a heterosexual transvestite or else it is rare. That's what they tell their wives but in my experience most are at least bi.

Before I sorted myself out in my own mind. (Believe me being TS is not easy and I labelled myself as all sorts over the years before I simply listened to my own heart.) I met up with several men for sex, although I was hoping for more:rolleyes: Of the men I met 75% were married and saw themselves as straight or at least bi. Of all the men only two were gay as such and I presented as a man for them although I ruined it for the only decent guy I met by dressing as a woman thus putting him off. He ran like hell, don't blame him.

The others were typical men, full of the old chat until they got what they wanted. I remember sitting on my couch after one left, slightly drunk with smeared lipstick and a bad taste in mouth:( thinking I really ought to have asked for money from him. I was in effect an unpaid prostitute. It was the same every time with the straight guys. They either never called again or rang months later expecting a repeat performance. Of course silly b that I am I fell for it once again.

I'm not bitter about it, not my nature. Some do. I'm a optimist by nature and don't believe in getting all worked up about it. That's just men. I'm a bit of a Paris Hilton, never seem to learn my lesson;) It really irritates me sometimes when you watch programmes about TS's. It's almost compulsory to have a big sad tale to tell. On ther other hand the suicide rate is quite high. I for one have stood on the parapet once or twice. In the end the thought of ruining my shoes stopped me;) Oh I could have left them on the bridge but then some other b would get them.:p

I have no problem with the Iliketgirls or others like him. Their best bet in Ireland, is a convincing trannie or drag queen or indeed pay a pro. Obviously though they want someone just like in the porn sites with breasts and a dick. The 'shemale'. Some have no intention of getting surgery others do it to pay for the surgery. In a way those porn sites give guys an unrealistic idea of what they can get. My goodness some of them are stunning and I am really jealous.

Those of us in Ireland are as often as not, good Catholic girls at heart. I for one would like nothing better than a full church wedding with the dress and all the trimmings including a lovely man. I'd even settle for a bridesmaids role. 'sigh'.

Anyway that's my slant on it.

Louisevb

Teemm,
A very interesting reply.... We all have made the porn video on this one. I think the one thing that you left out and maybe you haven't thought too much about this and that is that self esteem is important in this senario. You can have as many men as you want, but the next day, what do you feel?.. used , abused and generally not the sort of thing that you want... I'd say appreciate yourself more and don't take the first man that spins you a yarn... look for friendship and other things first before going near a bed room with any man.
Take care
Louise

Boston

Question: Who, with regards to sexuality, do you see yourself as being suited to? I remember being told that most TS people generally stick to other TS people as they generally can see past the labels to to the person, but would m2f TS prefere to be going out with straight guys, since in essense you view yourselves as women and seemingly straight yourselves.

Rev Hellfire

The thing here and I admit I may be missing something something fundamental here is that I can't see anything special here. Every night of the week people go out looking for a partner for a lasting relationship and encounter people looking for one night stands, thats hardly unique.
But more importantly if the only people you seem to attract are those who are interested solely in one night quickies with a TS then perhaps you should ask yourself are you socialising in the right venues ?

teemm

Louise, indeed you hit the nail on the head. My self esteem was rock bottom. I hated my male image, detested seeing myself in a mirror. But also didn't understand what I was. Some kind of pervert? Remember in pre internet days, info was hard to come by. I fell in with transvestites initially but couldn't understand how they referred to their female persona in third person or almost role played as women. It was nothing so much like a mens club where they happened to dress as women. They sussed me quick enough and the reception was not as quite what I thought. I 'passed' very well too and some jealousy was experienced.

So I was just glad that anyone was interested in me for a time. However that all changed and my self esteem is now where it should be. So if I sleep with some bloke it's because I want to. I enjoy sex after all. But of course it's no longer necessary for me to do so to prove something. Really that happened because I came out to some female friends eventually. Big revelation, except they already had an inkling, surprise, surprise. Although they thought gay, because of course people do. Even a straight male friend took it all in his stride.

Boston,
Essentially you correct as far as I'm concerned but as stated above my female friends had no trouble accepting it and we simply didn't discuss it per se. They simply relate to me as a woman. Women seem to have an innate instinct for this. You have no idea how relaxing that is. With other TS's it often seems to be shop talk, comparing notes etc. With women the issue of me being TS doesn't arise. It's just girl talk, if you see what I mean. You see I really want to be a woman in the purist sense, not someone who had a 'sex change' or is described as a 'transsexual'. An ludicrously impossible dream of course. Although I cling onto the possibility of reincarnation LOL. Next time maybe:D
As for men, I would like a straight man naturally, although I would class myself as bi, in fact in practice I have never been with a woman as such. Gay men are not interested in me as a woman, naturally enough. A bi man might.

Rev,
That's true but the one difference is you are a straight woman there are quite a few men interested in a relationship. There are very few straight men looking for a transexual girlfriend. Very few gay either. Conversely if you are lesbian, you might want a 'real' woman. As for straight women, well they want a man. So you see it's an ever reducing subset. Even the 'admirers' are few in number and often married. They certainly don't want to feature in the 'Sun' for leaving their wife and kids for a transexual!

As it happens, I met all my men via the internet or phone chat lines.
Phew I write too much. I guess learning to type was a good thing.

Louisevb

But more importantly if the only people you seem to attract are those who are interested solely in one night quickies with a TS then perhaps you should ask yourself are you socialising in the right venues ?

A good question your Reverence. but as teemm has said she meets through chat lines and the net, what other options are there? I've tried dating sites, but the response is the same exactly. I don't think Ireland is really ready to see transexuals as anything other than objects of sexual titillation. In time when people have gotten used to us and we have raised the TS profile and we are seen as just ordinary people going about our lives then we will be accepted by society generally.
I'm the treasurer of TENI http://www.teni.ie
We are working on a lot of projects and have an EGM this Saturday in Outhouse at 4pm... Please come along and see the work that we are doing You can join for €5. I promise an interesting hour of your time
Regards
Louise