Silly drunken moments!

jester77

So brothers, lets hear them. We are all prone to doing silly things while drunk.

I have a tendency to miss flights due to the beer. I'm currently at 3 which I suppose is not too bad.

I've also had some food episodes.
Fell asleep with the deep fat fryer on once, food was ruined!
My parents live in the sticks and I was home one weekend. Grabbed a snack box and a portion of curry in the chippers after coming out of the pub. Taxi driver wouldn't let me eat in the car (b@stard) so I had to wait till I got home. Unfortunately at this stage the curry was cold, so I got the idea that I would warm it up. Now the curry was in styrofoam container and my parents have a stanley range cooker which was still warm so I got the bright idea to leave the curry container and snack box on it to warm up while I went hunting for more alcohol. Upon my return I lifted the curry container to pour on the snackbox but of course the arse was melted out of it and the curry poured all over the cooker. It stank out the house for a week and I had no cuury for my chips

There are plenty more episodes that will come to mind later!

DarkJager

I came home langers drunk one night. Made my way to the back garden as I only had a key for the back door. We had an old cat at the time, whose house we used to lock the door of at night because there were dogs around (he never had a problem with it). Unfortunately for the cat I was bursting for a piss and I lifted the roof of his house and did the business (to this day I still don't know why I chose the cat house).Needless to say, he was very shaken the next day.

Duggy747

A few years ago during Rag Week I was so drunk that I got with this, eh, unpleasant girl. Something happened that sobered me up immediately, let's just say she didn't know the benefits of soap down below. Needless to say I shot outta there and gave myself a good hose-down. Like a Vietnam vet, everytime I sense that similar smell (cheesy salmon) I get caught in a terrifying flashback.

Amazing how quick I sobered up after a whiff like that. Must be what they put in those lil' capsules that you rub under an unconscious person's nose to wake them up. *shivers*

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

A few years ago during Rag Week I was so drunk that I got with this, eh, unpleasant girl. Something happened that sobered me up immediately, let's just say she didn't know the benefits of soap down below. Needless to say I shot outta there and gave myself a good hose-down. Like a Vietnam vet, everytime I sense that similar smell (cheesy salmon) I get caught in a terrifying flashback.

Amazing how quick I sobered up after a whiff like that. Must be what they put in those lil' capsules that you rub under an unconscious person's nose to wake them up. *shivers*

Ah I remember the look on your face as you came running down the stairs. It was like reindeer caught in the headlights.

Duggy747

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Ah I remember the look on your face as you came running down the stairs. It was like reindeer caught in the headlights.

Eurgh, the next day we went to TechnoApes house and his unclean oven had the EXACT same whiff, i nearly got sick!

petes

I think most of my silly drunken moments have to be told to me.

jester77

lol, reminds me of a mate. Something similar happened so he told her he had to take an urgent piss. He was still in his boxers but he grabbed his clothes from the living room and legged it out of her apt. But this apt. was on the main street of Galway so there he was in his boxers with his clothes under his arms and everyone looking at him

Duggy747

jester77 wrote:

lol, reminds me of a mate. Something similar happened so he told her he had to take an urgent piss. He was still in his boxers but he grabbed his clothes from the living room and legged it out of her apt. But this apt. was on the main street of Galway so there he was in his boxers with his clothes under his arms and everyone looking at him

Unless she was hideous you'd feel bad for the girl.

Another moment for me was when I was at my sister's wedding. As I was leaving that night (I was pretty hammered from all the free drink) I went over to a table where my father and sister were sitting. My father goes to my sister "Is he drunk?" and my sister goes "Ah, no he's a bit merry". Right at that point I picked up my vodka to down it and miss-aimed my mouth resulting in most of the vodka going down my chin and on my suit all right in front of my father

I looked like a slobbering alcoholic covered in vodka!

Papergirl 1

Ok well I have loads, but to mention one or two.....I came home one night locked, starving as usual, and decided that I wanted to re-heat a homemade pizza that my mum had made earlier in the day. But as I was outta me tree I decided the best way would be to put it straight onto the hob of the cooker. I didnt have the ability to figure out which nob on the cooker was for which ring, so I turned them all on. My mum came into the kitchen and found leaning on the cooker with my arm on the ring, looking a bit warm.

An hour later my brother came home, locked, and he decided that he wanted to re-heat some chicken chow mein, which was still in the foil container from the chinese. So he puts in straight into the microwave!! My mum comes out again, to find him doing this. He had split half the noodles on the kitchen floor, which she proceeds to slip and fall on!

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

Unless she was hideous you'd feel bad for the girl.

Another moment for me was when I was at my sister's wedding. As I was leaving that night (I was pretty hammered from all the free drink) I went over to a table where my father and sister were sitting. My father goes to my sister "Is he drunk?" and my sister goes "Ah, no he's a bit merry". Right at that point I picked up my vodka to down it and miss-aimed my mouth resulting in most of the vodka going down my chin and on my suit all right in front of my father

I looked like a slobbering alcoholic covered in vodka!

Classy duggy. Real classy.

Zaph

I was at a party years ago, and at about 3am someone came up with the great idea of making toast. The grill was turned on and the bread put under it. However the bread wasn't toasting and we thought that the grill wasn't working, so I put my hand under it and took the bread out. Unfortunately what had actually happened was that the bread was pushed too far to the back of the grill, away from the element which was working just fine, a fact that I only discovered the next morning when I woke up with burns all down my forearm.

Another night a friend and I were drunkenly making our way home from the pub and he decided that cutting through the local school would be a great shortcut. It made no real difference to me, but it took about half off his journey home. Unfortunately neither of us knew that since we'd last taken that shortcut they'd installed one of those 10 foot high galvanised iron fences with the three razor sharp spikes on the top of each post. Undeterred, the intrepid dup decided that climbing over them would be a doddle, and spent the next half hour literally risking life and limb clambering over them. Miraculously the only damage either of us suffered was when my mate ripped the botton of his trousers on on of the spikes when he was at the top of the fence. Of course had we gone the long way round we'd both have long been tucked up in our beds in the time it took us to get over the fence.

AlmightyCushion

One night a few years ago I was stay in Duggy's house after a night out. I was going to kip on his couch. Duggy left me at the bottom of the stairs and went upstairs to get me a sleeping bag. When he comes down there I am fast asleep leaning against his banister.

jester77

That reminded me of a night myself and 2 girls decided to go skinny dipping in the local outdoor pool. The fence was only about 6 feet high but I somehow managed in my drunken state to get caught on the top of it. It ripped my pants apart. It wasn't until the next morning when I woke up and saw the long tear in my skin that I was so glad junior leans to the right :eek:

smcelhinney

had a fight with a hobo in peoples park in waterford over custody of a bench.. I won. enough said.

scojones

When I was first introduced to After Shock I went a bit mad. Was around 16 at the time, out in the local nightclub. Lined up 7 shots, drank them one after the other, in about 20 seconds. I did this two more times before the end of the night, along with the regular pint drinkage.

Anyway, I was langers. I can't remember going home, but I woke up outside my mates' flat - on the bloody stairs outside his door. There was a big muddy footprint on my back (and all the way up the stairs). Someone obviously stood on me when I was asleep. My mate was wondering where I was cause I hadn't called over for work and when he rang my phone he could hear it outside. He opened the door to find me in a heap.

First experience with anti-biotics and booze led me to fall asleep in one of the cubicles in the jacks to be found at 5am. The owner of the pub knew me and my family, so dropped me home. All week I was asking my mates how I got home but none of them knew. When I went back into the pub the following week he asked me for ID (I was able to give him my fake one) and then told me how he found me.

In December '05 I went to Berlin for two weeks and woke up in Amsterdam with a few days left of the holiday with return ticket to Berlin in my pocket.

I was woken up in a trolley outside tescos by one of the shop assistants starting work.

r3nu4l

When I was a student I was supposed to be staying in a friends house in Maynooth but I ended up having a drunken row with her at 3 in the morning. So I walked away and only then realised I'd no money for a cab. I only had enough for a bus and they wouldn't be running for hours

So I walked down one of the laneways off main street and sat on the ground to assess my situation, got comfy, then lay down...just for a minute...I woke up at about 4, freezing cold, and very disgustingly, I found a large snail on my head (bastard!).

I decided that I needed to get warm and remembered that in front of the college Library there is a statue of Pope JPII and the large stone pillars behind him are all lit up with powerful...warm...lamps. So I picked myself up, walked around to the Kilcok road (avoiding the security hut at the front gates) and climbed over the college gates, made my way to the statue and lay down on one of the lamps. I was woken about an hour and a half later by the sound of two of the security guards driving around in their van, patrolling the grounds. I jumped up and ran, climbed the gates and made my way off again.

I eventually hung around for a bus and got some really weird stares from the early morning workers and a nasty look from the driver when I got on. Needless to say, I fell asleep, missed my stop and had to walk about a mile home Not a great night out.

Dragan

At a house party in college i was feeling a bit worse for wear after a full bottle of Absolut Blue.....straight might i add....so i crawled into a wardrobe for a bit of a nap.

Cut to about 9 o clock the next morning and i come flying out of the thing with some poor lass asleep in her leaba! Needless to say she was a bit shocked and wouldn't stop screaming!

I also slept on the rook of someone's car on night....not sure why.....i was pretty ****ed up.

AlmightyCushion

Went down to dublin for a friends birthday with a few of the lads. We we're drinking on the train on the way down and then went to our mates place for a few drinks then we hit the nightclub. We we're stumbling back to my mates place where we were staying and security stopped us at the door (it's a student village) Long story short he wouldn't let us in so we had to try and find somewhere to stay the night. Ended up that place was the escalators outside connelly station. Slept there for about an hour and then got woken up by somebody who had to turn it on. Got a breakfast roll in the shop across the road and got the first train home.

r3nu4l

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Ended up that place was the escalators outside connelly station. Slept there for about an hour and then got woken up by somebody who had to turn it on. Got a breakfast roll in the shop across the road and got the first train home.

There's an early house across the road from there! Surely you stopped in for one before leaving Brother Cushion?

AlmightyCushion

r3nu4l wrote:

There's an early house across the road from there! Surely you stopped in for one before leaving Brother Cushion?

Unfortunately I didn't know it was there until you just mentioned it I will know for the future though. I'm sure though one would have led to two and two would have led to three and so on so I'd probably still be there now.

petes

r3nu4l wrote:

There's an early house across the road from there! Surely you stopped in for one before leaving Brother Cushion?

What's the name of that place? Start with an 'M'?

r3nu4l

I don't know if it's a good sign or a bad sign that I can't remember the name of the place*

All I know is that there are usually some very anxious (and some unsavoury) individuals standing outside at 7.30 in the morning waiting for the doors to open. When I lived in Dublin, I was one of those people once or twice after particularly long nights out




*Honestly, I really can't remember.

petes

I think I know the place you are talking about.

Was in it a couple of times.

Ah the clientele, unsavoury indeed.

r3nu4l wrote:

I don't know if it's a good sign or a bad sign that I can't remember the name of the place*

All I know is that there are usually some very anxious (and some unsavoury) individuals standing outside at 7.30 in the morning waiting for the doors to open. When I lived in Dublin, I was one of those people once or twice after particularly long nights out




*Honestly, I really can't remember.

Zaph

My favourite silly drunken moment didn't happen to me, but to a guy who works with a friend of mine. I've met this guy a good few times and he would do the Brotherhood proud. On one night out he found himself for some reason in Boomerangs (for those brothers unfamiliar with the establishment, it's located just beside Temple Bar, about 100 yards from O'Connell Bridge), and having consumed his fill left to get a taxi home to Cabinteely (on the southside, about 8 miles from the city centre). He wandered around for a while trying to find a taxi but there were none to be had, so he continued walking as he reckoned that the closer he got to home the cheaper the fare would be. After about an hour and a half he spotted an empty taxi and when he told the driver that he was going to Cabinteely the driver commented that he was a long way from home. It turned out that he was in Finglas (on the northside, about 3 miles from the city centre) and had managed to cross the Liffey but was so drunk he didn't even notice.

melekalikimaka

http://youtube.com/watch?v=b_4e0RDLx58


now thats stupid, i still have a scar.

stitches and all after

Jimoslimos

r3nu4l wrote:

I decided that I needed to get warm and remembered that in front of the college Library there is a statue of Pope JPII and the large stone pillars behind him are all lit up with powerful...warm...lamps.

Wow, for someone in an inebriated state that is a moment of pure genius. Further proof if needed that alcohol actually enhances your mental faculties

Zaph

petes wrote:

What's the name of that place? Start with an 'M'?

It used to be called the Master Mariner, but now it's called Kate's Cottage. It was once called The Squealing Pig, but I don't think that was too popular with the lads in Store Street station and few doors down. It's a rough pub all right, I've heard them having very drunken karaoke at lunchtime there.

Duggy747

Not really my own but, it did happen in my local last Friday so I suppose there is some foundation. My friend got into a fight (Actual punch-up) with a lesbian and her mother in the smoking area. Needless to say, the lesbian kicked the shìt outta him! Me and one of my friends sat inside not bothering to get involved but rather stick with our pints (It was a lock-in so we wanted to stock up). But, the screams and cackles coming from outside was too much so I went out to see my friend being held back by my other friends while the lesbian lept in and start thumping his head. She also gave him a good, swift kick in the knackers. :eek:

Crazy, it was like The Matrix........you have to see it to believe it. I love my local pub, should be made into a sitcom with all the crazy stuff that happens!

J.S. Pill

Oh god, where to begin....

A while back I was in Kilarney for the weekend. It was my friend's birthday and her parents happened to be the proprietors of a Hotel so free food/board for everyone. We all went out on the town and got pissed anyway and for some reason I ended up leaving the nightclub at about quarter to two (neither I or any of my friends have any recollection of how this happened). Anyway, I proceded to make my way back to the hotel. I got lost along the way though, I thought I knew where I was and I tried to climb over a fence thinking I was taking a short cut. Somehow I managed to get my leg stuck in the rails of the fence...

I was standing there for a good 20 minutes trying to get my leg out. I was a bit out from the centre of town so there were no passers by to help me. I then got a phonecall from one my my friends: 'where are you' 'I don't know' '?' 'I'm stuck to a fence' - Battery dies!. I eventually managed to free myself but when I did I fell over sideways and hit my head leaving me with a big gash on my forehead. I got a taxi back to the hotel and (so I was told) went to the residents bar with blood streaming down my head, said hello to everyone and went to bed. I awoke with my pillow covered in blood and a lot of unanswered questions!

That episode forced me to take stock of my dangerous drinking habbits - I mean I was a sitting duck for arse bandits, could have been a lot worse!

slumped

In first year in college I got with this girl in a pub - ended up she asked me back to her place - nothing serious happended - just some snogs and I got taxi home.

Next morning I get up and look in the mirror to find my neck was black and blue.

Bitch had hickied me almost to death - and I didn't notice.

Had to avoid people for 4 days until the bruising went away.

S

jester77

slumped wrote:

In first year in college I got with this girl in a pub - ended up she asked me back to her place - nothing serious happended - just some snogs and I got taxi home.

Next morning I get up and look in the mirror to find my neck was black and blue.

Bitch had hickied me almost to death - and I didn't notice.

Had to avoid people for 4 days until the bruising went away.

S

Hate that. I remember a lad in college was with a burd one night and when he was passed out she proceded to hickie her name across his chest. Looked impressive

Zaph

Did she do it backwards so he could read it in the mirror?

Thrill

zaph wrote:

Did she do it backwards so he could read it in the mirror?

Now that would be impressive.:)

shane86

Misjudging how far I actually lived from the place, I ended up walking for 3 odd hours from the countryside back to mine from around 6am to 9 following my debs after party, drunk as **** and with a badly fitting pair of shoes gnawing at the top of my ankles My uncle was on his way to work driving the opposite way, saw me suit and all

Signing up for a 2 euro a time sex chat text service when I was polluted and depressed after a mate pulled an utter beaut of a Belarussian from under my nose (she had been looking at me, I smiled back and headed for the bar for a bit of courage, when I got back 5 mins later my mate was waffling and she was liking it )

Age 15, fell head first off a bus as I walked off it, first truly heavy session, Id drank close on a full bottle of smirnoff that night. I was so rubbered it barely hurt despite a nasty gah to the forehead, I just got up and went on my way. Didnt touch a drop of booze for 6 months after

Me and a mate brought another mate home on his 18th,about 4am he was in pieces. State of us hoisting him up the stairs and us only about 2 pints worth of less intoxication than he was. We threw him on the bed and then i fell over the ****ing thing His oul man throws the pair of us out, next thing i know im in my bathroom falling on my arse with the oul one shouting "whats all the racket your making in there", me still 17

Setting up a pre planned "fake fight" at a house party to annoy my mates American girlfriend, it was his birthday and the miserable cnutface complained we were making too much noise (it was a students residence flat block on a Friday night at 10pm ffs. We were drinking, smokin, blarin up the tv, I remember us all locked singing every word to U2 elevation and Jay Z/LP Encore). Me and another guy pretended to fight to play a joke on the uptight bitch, he said he got freaked half way through and thought I was serious (I kind of based it on Joe Pesci and his shinebox scene from Goodfellas in terms of pure venom and violence )

Anyway, she threw us all out, on our mates birthday. She was a succubus, no doubt.

An impromptu house party I decided to hold. Still talked of to this day, the first, last, only, most destructive, most hoe- filled and my god the ****ing best Ive ever held (or even been to )

As for "things I shouldnt have said" two that come to mind

After a legendary session taking in a day of seaside drinking in Bray followed by a party on the south circular, we found oureslves in a gaff in Finglas with two birds from the SC party, when they were going we suggested we split the cab fare, drop them in Finglas, me and my mate head on to Blanch and we all save money. Anyway, we arrive in Finglas and my mate pretty much invites me and him into the house The birds, surprsingly, didnt tell us to **** off. An hour and two more complimentary beers from our hosts later

Girl "Jaysus Im wrecked, I think I wanna climb into me bed"
Me (on 23rd beer and with a wink) "I think I wanna climb into YOUR bed gorgeous"

Lead baloon? A lead aeroplane wouldnt get the look I got I remember it was the day of Englands first match of WC 2006. Between the beach, the Bray pubs, the SCR party and 2 final beers in Finglas I managed 23 or 24, largest amt of beer Ive drank in one session (may have drank more actual alcohol in mixed beer/vodka ones, but the most pure beer was 24 in about 14-15 hours 2pm to 5am)


tbh i cant remember the best ones.

Quint

J.S. Pill wrote:

'where are you' 'I don't know' '?' 'I'm stuck to a fence' - Battery dies!

Brilliant!

My mate woke up on the hotel lawn in the afternoon with no trousers on, covered in ****, and a crowd around him. He tried to have a **** off the balcony the night before and fell over, lucky he was on the first floor and wasn't injured.

Another guy I know (i swear, they're "freinds" of mine) woke up, and in that half asleep still locked state, went over to his tape recorder, pressed eject, and pissed into it.

Another "friend" went to old wesley rugby club one night (he lives in ashbourne) and got locked on vodka he brought in. Some guy asked him for a smoke, he was so locked he gave him his whole pack of smokes and £20! This was in the late 80's, so that was like giving someone about €100 now. Woke up the next morning on the rugby pitch, no money, no smokes, and no way of getting home, all he could do was walk to finglas and hitch! Not nice when you're seriously hungover and now even money for a bottle of water. He said Whitwort Road is a bastard long road.

bombidol

The whitworth road is a pig to walk. its almost exactly a kilometre if I remember correct. and uphill. Depending on which way you are going obviously.

AlmightyCushion

Quint wrote:

Brilliant!

My mate woke up on the hotel lawn in the afternoon with no trousers on, covered in ****, and a crowd around him. He tried to have a **** off the balcony the night before and fell over, lucky he was on the first floor and wasn't injured.

Another guy I know (i swear, they're "freinds" of mine) woke up, and in that half asleep still locked state, went over to his tape recorder, pressed eject, and pissed into it.

I lol'd at the both of them.

ctc_celtic

just have to post this, didn't happen to me but a mate of mine.

he worked for a pub and club chain and was in one of the clubs after it had closed, while the staff were cleaning up, he was completly pissed and headed to the toilets, and proceded to fall asleep.
the staff forgot about him or though he had gone and lock up the place for the night. about 5am he woke up and stumbled out of the toilet door, the place was in darkness and he set of the motion sensors.
so the garda were alerted to the alarm and had to call the owner, less than impressed. but he still works for the group 3 years later

John Mason

this happened to my friends dad (who we shall call Bob). he was getting off the bus one christmas after a work do and the bus dropped him about 2 miles from home. he fell getting off the bus but told the busman he was fine. now the busman could see there was something wrong with his arm, that it was dangling at a funny angle and he blood running down his face. so the very nice bus man rang the ambulance and explained the siutation. there is ambulance head off to find "Bob". Bob was happily stumbling the 2 miles home with the ambalance crawling along beside him trying to persuade him he need to go to the hospital but Bob was adament there was nothing wrong with him. Anyway, the followed him to his house where Bobs wife forced him into the ambulance where they took him off to hospital for stiches in his head and to deal with his dislocated shoulder and broken wrist

Henry Ford III

So many incidents to retell....here are a couple....

A stag do in Killarney. Lots of beer (and some poteen) involved. "Borrowed" a push bike and was catapulted over the handle bars when the lock revolved to snag the frame.

A car show in Leicester. Portaloo upended with unfortunate inside. Result was a real mess. Chemicals and a brown shower. Nose split on downpipe too.

Chased by a gang of skinheads in London for no reason. Jumped over a hedge (carrying takeaway chinese) in an attempt to escape. Fell 25 feet, thankfully onto soft grass. Chinese was intact but damaged my ankle.

Went on fairground bull ride in Clacton, and drunkenly set an impressive standard. Finally and bizzarely thrown off, and was smacked midair by still ildly rotating bull. Departed in an ambulance.

There are many more....

Quint

The injury ones remind me of a nasty one. This guys's mother was extremely drunk, and she broke her ankle somehow and went to bed. Later she got up and went to the toilet (still hammered), standing on the broken ankle, it completely broke and tore the skin. It was the mother of a mate I worked with (german guy, yer one was german) and we used to get updates all the time. They couldn't attach the foot, it had almost completely come off. She can now compete in the paralympics.

redmosquito

NUIG rag week a few years back, about five in the morning we wandered into our neighbours house in glen dara, there was a small party going on. Got an urge to eat so went to their press and found myself a big can of spaghetti hoops. Opened the can and ate half the hoops, then took a notion to fill up the can with the fat frog that was left in my pint glass.

Spaghetti hoops in juice along with fat frog all in a heinz can is a bad idea on many levels, not alone was I sick as a dog most of the next day, I cut my lips from drinking out of the hoops tin!!!