A Guide to Driving in Ireland

want2play

A Guide to Driving in Ireland


1. Indicators will give away your next move. A confident Irish driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you because somebody else will fill in the space putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with MN ,D or CE plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the motorway.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Ireland , Guards "have better things to be doing" like trying the different coffee flavours in Statoil .

8. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

9. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Ireland is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert!

10. It is tradition in Ireland to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

11. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windscreen right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

12. Remember that the goal of every Irish driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

13. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended

Spud83

Ha Ha it reminded me of what one of mates said before. They were running a campagin in OZ called "Take off 5" basically it went like if you hit a person while driving at 40 you will kill them, hit them at 35 and they have a 90% better chance of surviving. Something like that anyway, off course my mate turns around and goes "Yeah, but if you were driving at 45 ya would have missed them all together"

FuzzyWuzzyWazza

class........... and true!

templetonpeck

Flippin hilarious

You forgot one though

14. Roundabouts are road decorations only. Picking a lane therefore is not necessary, just keep going when you reach one, regardless of whether other cars are already on it and exit where ever you feel without indicating or checking your mirrors. :mad:

templetonpeck

alanmurphy83 wrote:

Ha Ha it reminded me of what one of mates said before. They were running a campagin in OZ called "Take off 5" basically it went like if you hit a person while driving at 40 you will kill them, hit them at 35 and they have a 90% better chance of surviving. Something like that anyway, off course my mate turns around and goes "Yeah, but if you were driving at 45 ya would have missed them all together"

want2play

templetonpeck wrote:

Flippin hilarious

You forgot one though

14. Roundabouts are road decorations only. Picking a lane therefore is not necessary, just keep going when you reach one, regardless of whether other cars are already on it and exit where ever you feel without indicating or checking your mirrors. :mad:

Very Very True.

The Guarda one also;

Driving down the Dock Rd. in Limerick yesterday where there is 1 lane after the O'Curry St. turnoff, of course many cars stay on the inside to later barge in. Lots of horn blowing and gestures but not 1 Guard...until we pass Statoil and 3 Traffic Corp. vehicles parked up.

I know they might be on their break but with horns blowing and 2 lines of traffic fighting for 1 lane outside......
And 3 vehicles (1 was Ford Galaxy) for probably a max of 5 Guards.....

mike65

I like this guide Sober and honest assessment of this country

Mike.

C_Breeze

want2play wrote:

A Guide to Driving in Ireland


1. Indicators will give away your next move. A confident Irish driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you because somebody else will fill in the space putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with MN ,D or CE plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the motorway.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Ireland , Guards "have better things to be doing" like trying the different coffee flavours in Statoil .

8. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

9. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Ireland is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert!

10. It is tradition in Ireland to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

11. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windscreen right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

12. Remember that the goal of every Irish driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

13. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended

well i like the fact that this Gag has been modified to suit an Irish environment.

It was sent around work before with the title "driving In Ireland" ... yet instead of coffee flavours in Statoil , it was Donuts in Dunkin Donuts and other such american details.

So whoever made the effort .... well done.

Tabnabs

15. To avoid deep vain thrombosis, vary the pressure on your foot when using the accelerator, this will result in your speed changing consistently which in turn will entertain the motorists behind you.

Wishbone Ash

Not again. We need an addition to the Charter beside the "No Foglights Threads".

*yawn*

templetonpeck

Dyflin wrote:

15. To avoid deep vain thrombosis, vary the pressure on your foot when using the accelerator, this will result in your speed changing consistently which in turn will entertain the motorists behind you.

LMAO!!! Yes and in turn they will vary the pressure on their breaks thereby avoiding deep vain thrombosis themselves