No Speakah De English

patmac

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country . . we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell "Mississippi'."

Bet you're going to read it again!

neon_glows

thats really good ;-)

darkskol

very clever

philstar

thats as old as the ark

squibs

And the way I heard it (which makes more sense), it's two elderly African-American ladies talking.

patrickolee

. :-)

Thrill

Good one. Yep, guilty of giving it a second read.

Skip Work!

Me likes:)

prospect

squibs wrote:

And the way I heard it (which makes more sense), it's two elderly African-American ladies talking.

???


I think the Italian accent is ideal for that joke...

biko

I heard it about Mexicans I think but Italian accent is prob better

"No Speakah De English" ?? They are speaking accented English (both being Italian this is a bit confusing)

Nehpets

Very good! - hadn't heard that before

whiskeyman

The Italian on Holiday
(read with Italian accent)
One day ima in Dublin in a big bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say, you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna me bitch !!

Later I go to eat at a bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no ****s onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna ****. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna **** on my bed. He say you better not **** onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy!!!