Meeting women

Plateau

I'm just back to Ireland after living abroad for a year or so. At the moment I'm living in a city, not Dublin (so not a super high population but big enough so that there's plenty to do), am in my late twenties, and would like to meet more women.

The main problem is, I don't know many people, and I don't have a job yet. The other thing is that I don't really do the nightclub thing. As in I go to clubs, but the whole get drunk and pick up a girl off the dance floor thing doesn't really float my boat, and I'm not great at it anyway. I think I thrive in a 'chatting to friends of friends' type of scenario, but like I said, I don't know too many people at the moment.

So, any suggestions for how to meet people, particularly from those who are/were in a similar situation?

PinkPrincess26

Why dont you try internet dating..... its a lot more common than people think... or maybe join a gym or some sort of club were u can meet people..

Plateau

PinkPrincess26 wrote:

Why dont you try internet dating..... its a lot more common than people think... or maybe join a gym or some sort of club were u can meet people..

Hmm.. Ireland is not a very big country, and where I'm living is not super big as I said. Not sure I'd like my 'profile' emailed around by the few 'friends' I do have. I don't suppose anyone can report on experiences they've had?

I think it's a pity that the so-called friendly Irish have to go and post themselves on sites to meet people, a damning indictment of where we're going... but anyway... a good, solid suggestion.

I've heard the join a gym thing before, but how does the picking up a girl thing work there, exactly? I mean, I know if I'm in the gym, I'm in a world of my own, doing my thing. I still appreciate the female form when it presents itself but generally I'm there for a workout. Not that I'd object to being disturbed, but that hasn't happened as yet, and I've never ever seen anyone approach anyone else in a gym. Any experiences out there? Do a lot of people go to a gym primarily to pick up members of the opposite sex?

I like the club idea. I will sign up for a few things. I think I'll learn a language.

lordgoat

It is a tough one alright. I think it's a common problem. i hate the pub/club thing but then again i find it strange and forced the way guys generally sleaze all over gilrs on dance floors across the country.

Anyway just a message of support, good luckwith it. Apparently they're out there.

Hermione*

lordgoat wrote:

i hate the pub/club thing but then again i find it strange and forced the way guys generally sleaze all over gilrs on dance floors across the country.

It doesn't exactly endear the male population to girls either, at least not for me! Good luck OP; I've alwas found that the better relationships I've had were those that started in a 'chatting to friends of friends' scenario ,

Laslo

I think that's the problem with Ireland. It's a very cliquey society. People tend to treat each other with distrust unless they know each other well. In the States for example, the dating game is a lot more open. Even in the UK. You can literally walk up to someone and start up a conversation without having to worry about being treated like you're a weirdo or a pervert. There is absolutely no way in hell I would ever chat up a woman in Ireland (particularly Dublin) unless I knew her, was introduced to her or the conversation happened somewhat naturally.

Marksie

I read a couple of weeks ago that 17% of people met their friends/SO's in gyms.

I guess its all about what you want to meet them for and your attitude towards them as well.

Red Alert

Laslo is spot on according to at least two friends (both girls) who were in the States. One was there when much younger, but she said that even teenagers will ask one another for a date without having to do the whole 'get to know the friends' thing that goes on in Ireland. Another friend was in a US university for a few months and basically said the same thing - if you wanted to ask someone out on a date you did, and unless you were awful looking they'd probably put up with you for one date before saying no.

empirix

not sure about the gym thing, it aint america, i find most men and women tend to be there for the workout

Laslo

GYM's are for working out in FFS.

Marksie

empirix wrote:

not sure about the gym thing, it aint america, i find most men and women tend to be there for the workout

Actually the report on the meeting at gym was a uk survey. Of course it was in the Herald AM, therefore MUST be true.

Plateau

Interesting points guys. Not many solutions but good points.

I wouldn't be overly shy and would approach a girl to chat to... if I thought they weren't going to think I was a weirdo, which it seems Irish girls more often than not do. Interesting to hear about how it is in the states.

It's a bit depressing that you can't really talk to girls in bars without a pretext so people have to couple up in nasty little meat markets instead. Maybe this whole situation was invented to help out guys that have no communication skills... because communication skills are basically no use at all on a dancefloor!

With the 'friends of friends' thing out, I'm not sure what the alternative is. Later I'll more than likely be out with a few friends and in all likelihood we'll drink with each other all night and not meet anyone else. I know that needn't be the case, but especially when you have a 'settled' element to the group, it's very much on the cards. If Saturday night is the best chance I have for meeting people, and I don't meet anyone, I could be at this game for a long time. :eek:

Still I'm definitely going to get more involved in clubs and stuff. I feel more sorry for the women really, I'm a great catch.

St Bill

Plateau wrote:

I feel more sorry for the women really, I'm a great catch.

lol
That's the spirit!

hupyago

here are a few sites to get you going

http://www.sparkdating.ie/

http://meetme.hotornot.com/

chuckles30

I've done/doing the internet dating thing and it's normal at this stage. No one needs to know as you set up your profile using a nickname the same as here. All mails are through the website and it's being used by lots of normal people all with the same 'problem' - where to meet people. I'm met plenty of lovely people through it. You have to exercise the usual caution obviously. I'm from county clare and never met anyone I know. You have the option to post a photo or not, so it can be completely anonymous. They say that profiles with pics get more hits, but I've never put my pic up there - I just feel safer that way.

A couple of sites that I've found good are:
www.anotherfriend.com
www.maybefriends.com
www.sundayworlddating.com

I don't know what part of the country you're in, but there's a couple of speed dating nights coming up in Limerick......see the limerick city thread here for the details.......it's another option and good craic.

Plateau

Thanks for the sites and suggestions guys, I'll take a look!

LegacyUser

I have been on boards for a long time and every week there are posts on how do you meet members of the opposite sex.
Internet dating has been suggested many times and it can work, but without a photo on your profile then it is a lot more difficult.I for one (handsome as I am) would never post a photo or write my profile in a way that I could be identified as I am very very well known in my own area of Cork and I know it would be picked up almost immediately ...snigger snigger.!
The position is: I am far older than most of the posters here, now in my late forties. I wouldn't even consider dating someone separated and probably not someone divorced either (6th commandment etc. etc.) I now know that it is highly unlikely that unless I almost immediately met someone at least 10 years younger than me that I will never have children and it is something that is constantly at the back of my mind. I did have one girlfriend many years ago we went out for about 5 years and she just got so totally pissed off in the finish as I was constantly working that she just upped and married someone else and I am really happy for her and am still very close friends with her and her husband and family.
Position is I am self employed since I was very young and put everything into my business I have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams and life in all other respects is very rosy. My heart goes out to all of you with huge mortgage debt and I admire your balls in taking it on because I know I wouldn't sleep at night if I had the mortgages that some of you have.
I do not feel at all sorry for myself and this is not a public plea for sympathy. I feel those whose marriages and relationships failed are in a far worse situations and my heart bleeds for most of them, I have many friends who have lost their homes living in rented accommodation and are part time dads.
At my age it is almost impossible to meet someone around my own age our younger - when you are in your twenties it is likely that most women are still single but at 35 + most women are settled and you just can't go up and ask them if they are single or wha? I think I would be considered a step short of an axe murderer or rapist.I have never been inside the door of a nightclub in my life and don't intend to be either.I am however involved in several clubs and organisations and they are all either a) men's activities b) family orientated or c) Full of grumpy old men and women and women who are always negative and self righteous.
I am a practising Catholic and while it is something that is privately important to me I think everyone is entitled to their faith or none and I know this is a limiting factor but I was raised in different times and am not going to change now. Celibacy has also been very difficult for me though I did sleep regularly with my girlfriend while we were going out and not with anyone since.I still look well and have never grown a beer belly etc. and look a million times better than many of my ( now married)school friends. I am certainly not shy but not a loudmouth either so I just can't understand why I haven't met someone.
If you have read this post this far - thank you and now to get to the point.
I would appreciate readers comments on these questions.
1) Where (Thailand or the Philippines's not being an option LOL) does someone my age get to meet a partner or wife.
2) Am I just being plain stupid in my attitudes and times have changed .
3) Anyone here got married later on in life and went on to rear a family.

Thanks for your patience and I would appreciate everyones tupence worth.

Sleepy

My uncle married a lovely Spanish lady while in his mid forties and they have two kids now. Don't know how/where they met but it certainly happens.

LegacyUser

'

private wrote:

I have been on boards for a long time and every week there are posts on how do you meet members of the opposite sex.
Internet dating has been suggested many times and it can work, but without a photo on your profile then it is a lot more difficult.I for one (handsome as I am) would never post a photo or write my profile in a way that I could be identified as I am very very well known in my own area of Cork and I know it would be picked up almost immediately ...snigger snigger.!
The position is: I am far older than most of the posters here, now in my late forties. I wouldn't even consider dating someone separated and probably not someone divorced either (6th commandment etc. etc.) I now know that it is highly unlikely that unless I almost immediately met someone at least 10 years younger than me that I will never have children and it is something that is constantly at the back of my mind. I did have one girlfriend many years ago we went out for about 5 years and she just got so totally pissed off in the finish as I was constantly working that she just upped and married someone else and I am really happy for her and am still very close friends with her and her husband and family.
Position is I am self employed since I was very young and put everything into my business I have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams and life in all other respects is very rosy. My heart goes out to all of you with huge mortgage debt and I admire your balls in taking it on because I know I wouldn't sleep at night if I had the mortgages that some of you have.
I do not feel at all sorry for myself and this is not a public plea for sympathy. I feel those whose marriages and relationships failed are in a far worse situations and my heart bleeds for most of them, I have many friends who have lost their homes living in rented accommodation and are part time dads.
At my age it is almost impossible to meet someone around my own age our younger - when you are in your twenties it is likely that most women are still single but at 35 + most women are settled and you just can't go up and ask them if they are single or wha? I think I would be considered a step short of an axe murderer or rapist.I have never been inside the door of a nightclub in my life and don't intend to be either.I am however involved in several clubs and organisations and they are all either a) men's activities b) family orientated or c) Full of grumpy old men and women and women who are always negative and self righteous.
I am a practising Catholic and while it is something that is privately important to me I think everyone is entitled to their faith or none and I know this is a limiting factor but I was raised in different times and am not going to change now. Celibacy has also been very difficult for me though I did sleep regularly with my girlfriend while we were going out and not with anyone since.I still look well and have never grown a beer belly etc. and look a million times better than many of my ( now married)school friends. I am certainly not shy but not a loudmouth either so I just can't understand why I haven't met someone.
If you have read this post this far - thank you and now to get to the point.
I would appreciate readers comments on these questions.
1) Where (Thailand or the Philippines's not being an option LOL) does someone my age get to meet a partner or wife.
2) Am I just being plain stupid in my attitudes and times have changed .
3) Anyone here got married later on in life and went on to rear a family.

Thanks for your patience and I would appreciate everyones tupence worth.

This is really a very sad post - you should have done it as a seperate post as it is not just about meeting women it is about you sorting out what you want and you are running out of time fast!!
May I suggest that if you were a little less particular and had less preconceptions then you will stand a better chance of meeting the mother of those kids you so obviously desire.
Good Luck'