Pain on penetration

LegacyUser

Im 21, Ive recently strated sleeping with my Bf of nearly twos years. Both our first time (so no STD's or anything like that)

When we have s*x the opening of my vagina tends to get dry and very irritated quiet quickly. My BF could easily last half an hr + after penetration (would this be considered a long time???) I often have to ask him to stop as it gets so sore... Irritated (or kinda raw) is the best way to describe it I think. This gets very frustraing, for both me and my BF. My BF may only be getting going when I need to ask him to stop, he also gets upset then becos he blames himself for "hurting" me.

So I guess the question/wprry I have is is that should I do something about this (like see a doc, which I don't really want to have to do) or is it just a matter of maybe "getting used" to it??? We ahve been doing it wuite a while now tho, so we are not complete beginners......

Any thoughts or suggestion??? (Oh, I am on the pill, and we use condoms. We have tried using lube too but just found that messy and not really of much use....)

Thanks in advance

dudara

This is a question that needs to be asked, but are you turned on by your boyfriend before penetration? Do you feel physically turned on enough to progress to penetration?

Civilian_Target

More foreplay?

Boston

I notice a complete lack of foreplay being mentioned. Does your boyfriend finger you before sex? That would be a first step. Does he perform oral sex? He might be only able to cum once* but you can cum multiple times in a session, if you ejaculate before penetration you shouldn't have much problem after.

As for the Lube, I think you're using it wrong, or the wrong type. Try KY jelly, its water based so it won't eat away at the condom or your insides like some lubes can do. He should finger you with the lube and put lube on himself. Re-apply as needed. To start off too much is better then too little.

As for mess, all good sex is messy.

*Sex experts would roll in their grave if they saw me posting that.

LegacyUser

Ok, sorry....

Yes, we would have alot of foreplay first... He would really turn me on, lots of kissing and caressing... Lots of fingering and often oral sex too... I would be very "wet" originally but once penetration starts, after a few mins it just gets a bit sore. Only at the opening though, not inside... Its almost of it the opening it too small!!!! (sounds crazy I know!!!)

(OK, Can I ask, how long would a guy usually last after penetration??? I KNOW every guy/situation in diffent but would it be very common for a guy to last over half an hour after penetration?)

Victor

anyideas... wrote:

(OK, Can I ask, how long would a guy usually last after penetration??? I KNOW every guy/situation in diffent but would it be very common for a guy to last over half an hour after penetration?)

Some guys do last that long, yes. Others have difficulty lasting as long as two minutes.

orlyice

it might be that your hymen is still partially intact (thin layer of skin-like thing that covers the vagina, not all females it and is usually broken by penetration or using a tampon). penetration might be agrivating it. you might also have thrush, can get that from taking antibiotics over long period of time. your doc would be able to tell you or worth looking up on the net.

Caryatnid

orlyice wrote:

it might be that your hymen is still partially intact (thin layer of skin-like thing that covers the vagina, not all females it and is usually broken by penetration or using a tampon).

Sounds like that one to me. Some women need the hymen cut (doesn't hurt as no nerves in it).

Wibbs

It could just simply be that the condom is causing the irritation. They lose most of their lube quickly enough, especially with her BF going at it for half an hour.

Blisterman

I had the same problem with an ex, and how I overcame it was to

a. Do lots and lots of foreplay, until she is absolutely soaking. Failing that, use lube, put it on both of you.

b. go very slowly at first, until there's not much resistance.

c. Take a break after awhile. Do some oral sex/handjobs/fingering/ use your imagination, before continuing.

Also check that it's not the position that's causing it. Make sure that the angle, and depth of penetration are comfortable.

Johnny Bitte

This happened to me and my GF when we used a silicon based condom, try using difent kinds and maybe lubracation.

challengemaster

Blisterman wrote:

Also check that it's not the position that's causing it. Make sure that the angle, and depth of penetration are comfortable.

best way to ensure this is if the female is on top - can control penetration depth etc.

Ms_Taurus

Try more foreplay, when i started having sex it was very sore my partner just increased the amount of fore play and used lub after a while i learned to relax and enjoy it.

ApeXaviour

anyideas... wrote:

(OK, Can I ask, how long would a guy usually last after penetration??? I KNOW every guy/situation in diffent but would it be very common for a guy to last over half an hour after penetration?)

I believe it's relatively common. Some men last indefinitely, i.e. they physically cannot finish with just vaginal stimulation.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

don't worry about it being messy, sex can be
slap a load of lube on enjoy.

Anti

\m/_(>_<)_\m/ wrote:

don't worry about it being messy, sex can be
slap a load of lube on enjoy.

Durex play. Cant go wrong with that stuff. Dont buy the cheap stuff though, and try and use water based lube too with a spermicidal.

Marksie

Anti wrote:

Durex play.

make sure to get the bland stuff, not the heat or tingle while you are starting out just in case it exacerbates the irritation.

I would also suggest not even bothering about penetration and enjoy building each other, making foreplay the be all and end all.

Communicate, if you feel ourself beginning to get sore, move away from penetrative and go back to all the other sorts of pleasuring.

Waiting til too late and you are sore is causing him to feel guilty so, let him know its not his fault, but openly communicate what is happening adn do it BEFORE you get sore.

Wibbs mebntioned the condoms, it is possible that they may be causing it, try a different brand or a non-allergenic type.

Lube: you really dont need that much. just a little on the head and shaft will do. you may be using too much.

Staying "wet": Remain connected with your b/f, if you are both performance oriented you may feel the arousal and sense of being with him drops adn you are beginning to wonder about the when if and hows. Wheh it drops, you lose the wetness.