Children Home Alone without a Creche

Ian38HR

If you have 3 kids (all boys), eldest is 13, then 11 and 5 - would you able to make your 13 year old the childminder of the 2 other boys? I have and my wife have day jobs - and just for the summer that we can make do without a child minder/creche. Any Irish laws that govern this situation?

eve

I started minding kids at about 15 and I looked after a family of boys (4 of them) where the eldest was about 12 at the time. Unless they are very unusual, I've found that 13 just isn't old to leave them on their own. Maybe a 2 hours or but not for a day where they have to cook/get food for themselves.

angeldelight

I really strongly think that's a very bad idea. I'm not a parent, but remembering what I was like at 13, I would strongly recommend against it. Firstly, 13 is still young to be left alone for a full day every day of the week, to amuse themselves. Ok so they might know the rules of "don't answer the front door" etc. but what happens if he or one of the others falls or hurts themselves? It can be stressful enough for an adult to try and keep a calm head in a situation like that whatever about a child. What are they going to eat/drink during the day? What if they burn/cut themselves?

A 13 year old is by no stretch of the imagination mature enough to look after other children, both for the safety of the others and himself... Are you suggesting they sit inside for the summer or are they going to be out on the street playing or in the park? Can a 13 year old erally be expected to not go and play with his friends because he has to run after the other 2 and watch them?

Shelli

Possibly the 13 and 11yr old could be left, if there was food left ready for them, but not minding a 5yr old, they just wouldn't be mature enough, not to mention that it's not really fair to ask a child who should be enjoying his youth to step into the role of parent.

Nevyn

Tell you what why don't you ring your local health clinc and ask for the sitting socail worker and get thier professional opinion.

They might be a bit busy so make sure you leave a contact name and address for them to get back to you.

G&T

Pay for the child care,if anything happened to one of them you would never forgive yourself.
The older 2 could do summer camp's and the youngest go to a creche/minders.
Honestly it is not fair on the 13 yr old he is still a kid.

Your self/wife could alway's take parental leave for the summer.

dame

Neighbours of ours seem to doing the same thing. I'm not sure what age the boy in charge is but he's about 13 too and there's a girl of 7 and a boy of 10. The parents both work down the town and pop back at lunchtime most days. I honestly wouldn't do it myself though. The kids are wandering the estate all day every day, causing bother and annoying people. They've also been given pellet guns to amuse themselves with but that's a whole other story. I feel sorry for the kids really. They should have somebody keeping a proper eye on them, organising activities and keeping them out of trouble. Boredom leads kids into all sorts.

daiixi

It really depends on your children. Some 13 yr olds are suprisingly mature and able. If your younger kids will listen to their older sibling then why not?

G&T

daiixi wrote:

It really depends on your children. Some 13 yr olds are suprisingly mature and able. If your younger kids will listen to their older sibling then why not?[/QUOTE


For the reason's dame stated,boredom leads to trouble.

No 13yr old is as mature as an adult,imo

Nevyn

If anything happens to the children the parents can be charged with neglect.

Trinity

Only you know your children but i wouldnt take the risk.

SOme adults can barely handle an emergency/crisis situation never mind children. ANd there is no way of knowing what can arise. I'm the most protective mother i know, my son is known as the cotton wool kid and yet I still managed to sever his thumb in a door, he required surgery. I fell to pieces, couldnt even direct the ambulance i was so hysterical. Still makes me cry tbh.

In answer to your question is it legal, i honestly dont know.

oh well

have 3 similiar ages (14, 11 8) and wouldn't even be happy letting the 14 on own for the whole day - again the boredom can lead to who knows, and once kids on the street know theres a free house every day, the pressure on the child might be great.

It isn't really fair either if the friends are out and about and he/she is stuck minding younger kids. this is all apart from any accidents happening of course - slipping on the stairs, dropping a glass, etc.

Think that its actually illegal under the age of 14 too but wouldn't be 100% sure of that, but there is definitely an age. there was a thread about this some months ago.

so, organise yourselves some good childcare, parental leave or something. think of them as young children, cos that's all they are.

siochain

no chance, kids minding kids will never work.

In this day and age there is no need for putting that responsibility onto a 13 year old, 13 year old needs a summer holiday too.

cmurph

very bad idea in my opinion.....

its not so long since madeleine mc cann was abducted and everyone was saying how the parents were so responsible ,not saying this is likely in this situation but you will still be leaving three children home alone..


what if anything happened...???

shrapnel222

as a one off, i can't see it being a problem. Day in day out would be asking for trouble as the likelihood of the children coming up against a situation they can't handle would not bear thinking about

I'm really shocked at how babied some 13-14 year olds are. When I had just turned 13 I was at home all summer with my 11 and 9 year old siblings and I didnt feel like an immature child. I was already ironing my clothes, doing the dishwasher, cleaning a bit etc. If anything had happened I could have got a neighbour, dialled 999 etc. I wasn't much less mature than I am now at 22. Its nothing like leaving young kids (8 and under) alone.

Trinity

I think boys can be different, i was cooking cleanign etc at a young age too. I also loved babysitting.

But these are all boys and not many 13 year old boys would want to be stuck home all summer responsible for a 5 year old when all their friends are probably out playing footie

G&T

Miguel Deafening Deodorant wrote:

. If anything had happened I could have got a neighbour, dialled 999 etc.

The neighbour is looking after their own family,unless they are asked to keep an eye on the kid's it is unfair to assume someone else will be there to help out.

oh well

wouldn't agree that 14 yr olds are babied. my one does the ironing, can make a fairly decent dinner, can bake, uses the washing machine and dish washer - but asking her to look after 2 younger brothers/sisters day in day out for the whole summer is a bit much. expecting a neighbour to be avail in an emergency too isn't really good an idea either - most of neighbours out themselves at work/on holidays/or just in town or whereever.

all day long everyday is just plain irresponsible i think. kids do need their summer hols too and while a certain amount of boredom can lead to some great games, too much is not a good thing.

maryjane1

apparently there are no laws ro say at what age you can leave your children home alone BUT if anything happens to them you can be done for neglect

Nevyn

There is no law about sticking a fork in your eye either....

Piste

I agree with not leaving the 13 year old to look after the 11 and 5 year old so a child minder is probably the best option, but only hire the cildminder to look after the 1 and 5 year old, let the 13 year old come and go as he pleases. I would have flatly refused to have a minder in when I was 13.

the_syco

BAD IDEA.

A girl may be able to sit tight, and mind the others, but a boy will go out the minute he can, with or wihtout the others.

Look into summer camps, etc.

Lazarus2.0

Ian38HR wrote:

If you have 3 kids (all boys), eldest is 13, then 11 and 5 - would you able to make your 13 year old the childminder of the 2 other boys? I have and my wife have day jobs - and just for the summer that we can make do without a child minder/creche. Any Irish laws that govern this situation?

The mind boggles :eek: Unbelievable !

krankykitty

Childhood is short enough - let the 13 year old enjoy it while he can before shoving parental responsibility onto him.

maryjane1

krankykitty wrote:

Childhood is short enough - let the 13 year old enjoy it while he can before shoving parental responsibility onto him.

exactly!!

Nevyn

The thing is tht such children would be deemed to be at risk and all it takes it 1 phone call from 1 neighbour to the local health clinc to the social worker and there has to be an investigation and home visits, interviews and a file which stays active for the next two years and even if there is no action take against the parents and the file is closed as there was no merit it remains in the system with both parents and childrens names listed.

Ian38HR

eve wrote:

I started minding kids at about 15 and I looked after a family of boys (4 of them) where the eldest was about 12 at the time. Unless they are very unusual, I've found that 13 just isn't old to leave them on their own. Maybe a 2 hours or but not for a day where they have to cook/get food for themselves.

We actually fix the food the night before - its in the table and some are above the kitchen counter and just needs to heat up when meal time arrives - we make sure we call every 2-3 hours to check on them as well.

Trinity

Ian38HR wrote:

We actually fix the food the night before - its in the table and some are above the kitchen counter and just needs to heat up when meal time arrives - we make sure we call every 2-3 hours to check on them as well.

How does the eldest feel about it?

Ian38HR

angeldelight wrote:

I really strongly think that's a very bad idea. I'm not a parent, but remembering what I was like at 13, I would strongly recommend against it. Firstly, 13 is still young to be left alone for a full day every day of the week, to amuse themselves. Ok so they might know the rules of "don't answer the front door" etc. but what happens if he or one of the others falls or hurts themselves? It can be stressful enough for an adult to try and keep a calm head in a situation like that whatever about a child. What are they going to eat/drink during the day? What if they burn/cut themselves?

A 13 year old is by no stretch of the imagination mature enough to look after other children, both for the safety of the others and himself... Are you suggesting they sit inside for the summer or are they going to be out on the street playing or in the park? Can a 13 year old erally be expected to not go and play with his friends because he has to run after the other 2 and watch them?

I definitely told them to stay in doors - my eldest has his own wireless laptop, PSP, PS2 and tons of DVD titles to watch - so far its ok.

Ian38HR

Trinity1 wrote:

How does the eldest feel about it?

Well we knows he's stressed about it but he does cooperate in a way we didnt expect - he hoovers the mess when we dont tell him too - took outthr trashed with the best intentions even when we told them not too when we're not there yet