People's Remarks

Storm_rages · 13-07-2007 1:44pm #1

A long while ago I was dating someone who was very bad for me, and because of it I lost a lot of weight. We broke up and I meet the most amazing guy and have been very happy since. The problem is a number of people have now remarked about the weight of I have put on. (I’m about 5 foot and weigh about 8 stone now before I was about 7 stone!). I have had a person come up to me and say “oh you have put on weight” and another asked if I was pregnant. I just feel quite pressured into being the extremely skinny person I once was. Is that there way of telling me I look terrible now!!

Nevyn · 13-07-2007 1:46pm

How very rude of them, making personal remarks is rude full stop.
Why is it all of sudden people think that it is permissible for them to make such comments.

I would answer such remarks with ' oh and you have gotten rude.'

Reku · 13-07-2007 1:50pm

5 foot ~ 8 stone, sounds ok to me.
BMI in the middle of the normal range if that helps any.
The fact that you lost the weight because the guy was bad for you and have now gotten it back now that you're with someone who makes you happy implies that you lost the weight due to stress, which is never a good thing IMO.

Maple · 13-07-2007 1:58pm

Oh my god, how rude! :eek: I hate when people make unsolicited personal remarks like that. what a cheek.

you could always come back with "well you're just ugly".

Seriously though, just tell them that its none of their business and to refrain from making such personal remarks.

and well done on your healthy relationship, long may it last.

Pyjamarama · 13-07-2007 2:13pm

I hope these people aren't your friends, if so get new friends! :eek: As everyone said how rude! What business is it of theirs!

Don't feel pressured to lose weight, you're happy and healthy and in a relationship that is good for you. Focus on that and ignore these catty comments!

Dragan · 13-07-2007 2:16pm

Are you happy with yourself? If so it's all good.

Doing anything to make any else happy, or impress anybody is normally a bad train of thought to get in to.

Do what you want to do and be what you want to be as long as you are happy.

yellowellie · 13-07-2007 2:19pm

They can all feck off tbh OP.

Your weight is fine and as long as you are happy with it that's the important thing.

I can't believe people would make comments to your face like that!

Honestly, you can't win.. They were probably calling you an anorexic b***h when you were thinner!

I can relate to your situation because I pretty much am in the same situation although the cause of my former weight loss was medical. I was an 8 then. I'm now at the size 12 I've pretty much always been and although I'm not perfect (who is?) and would like to tone up a little, I know my weight and size is healthy for me at my height.

The only one who ever says anything about my weight is my boyfriend who suprise suprise met me at my thinnest! I've explained my medical history to him and he says 'I know, but there's nothing wrong with being a bit thinner' or something to that effect.. I just say to him 'When you have the perfect body you can comment on mine!'

TBH, I would go off the head with him about it really only for I agree with him deep down and the only thing stopping me being how both he and I would like me to be is my own laziness!

Sorry for hijacking the thread OP!

The important thing with weight is that you're a healthy weight.

Storm_rages · 13-07-2007 2:19pm

nope not friends, customers actually which makes it even worse cause you have to smile. My friends don't say much about my weight but then again they would hardly tell me i am fat (even if i was!) i'm just worried that strangers are being more truthful.
(thanks for the nice comments by the way, after reading a lot of boards some people get a really hard time when they post up something!)

unregd147 · 13-07-2007 2:25pm

The only opinion that matters is your own! maybe to a lesser degree your boyfriends. If you and he are ok with it then so what?
On the other hand if these people saying this to you are good friends then maybe they are looking out for you, they would be going about it in the wrong way but trying to stop you from getting overweight. At 8 stone you have a perfect balance of height and weight at 9 stone you are bordering overweight for your height.

redfacedbear · 13-07-2007 2:46pm

I don't wish to condone these people commenting on your weight as it is a shockingly rude thing to do, but there is a possibilty that they mean it as a compliment. As you say yourself, you were extremely skinny at 7 stone - is there a possibilty that you are looking healthier now?

Having said that asking you if you were pregnant is not the way to make a compliment :eek:

Storm_rages · 13-07-2007 2:54pm

thats the thing, i don't think these people were being horrible to me just to be mean. So maybe that means i am overweight!!
yellowellie we could be twins, my partner meet me when i was just coming out of my really thin stage.. and while i know he would not change me, part of me wonders if he would have liked me better back them (just my body, at that sage i was an emotional *uck wit!).
Am i happy with my body? honestly i don't know, the comments have caught me off guard, i have always been small and never had to watch what i eat..
if you asked me to pick my body size on someone else i would not have a clue..

sorry ramble ramble...

hanni1234 · 13-07-2007 2:57pm

Listen what is this? We here to say that you are perfect? We all have things to be paranoid about and we all hear comments. Its up to you to listen or not.

boffin · 13-07-2007 3:05pm

Well they are just being rude and unfortunatly there are rude people everywhere. Your weight is perfect for your height - so don't worry about what they said. Sometimes people can sayssomething like that "you've put on weight" when what they actually mean to say is "you look far healthier now that you have put on weight" but the short version comes out. I doubt very much at your weight that they are in any way suggesting you need to lose any.

unregd147 · 13-07-2007 3:10pm

If your unsure what your boyf thinks about the weight gain and which way he preferred you just ask him. Whats the worst that could happen?

yellowellie · 13-07-2007 4:11pm

Like you, when I was at my thinnest, it was a bad time in my life. I do not want to go back there, and I know losing all the weight wouldn't automatically put me back there but I just associate me being thin with me being miserable (it wasn't an eating disorder).

Look on the bright side: at least your boyfriend isn't on your case about it!

P.S. Some very interesting threads in the last few months about boyfriends' attitudes to girlfriends' weight gain if you do a search! Not sure if I posted to any of them but I read them with intrigue!

Edit: P.P.S. I think my boyfriend's remarks are just out of fear that I will balloon out altogether!

If the weight turns out to be an issue with your boyfriend too explain to him that you're at your 'normal' weight now and would not be happy getting any bigger and are not prepared to let it happen (I'm assuming).

b3t4 · 13-07-2007 4:41pm

OP, do you think the people saying the comments are saying them in a negative way or a positive way?

The "oh you have put on weight" could really be a "you look much better" comment as boffin suggests.

Also, did you update your wardrobe to suit your new figure? If you haven't then it might just be your clothes doing you a disservice.

A

challengemaster · 13-07-2007 4:48pm

whatever you're happy with tbh. personally im 5'11 and 10 stone (male) which i think is a fair bit underweight. but im fairly happy and well able to maintain it... so.. its really whatever suits you best. those people were rude..

Storm_rages · 13-07-2007 4:53pm

i think the "oh you have put on weight" comment was maybe more factual.. i don't even want to think about the your pregnant thing..
eh really not looking for people to tell me i'm prefect, (which i am of course!).. but just looking to see has this happened to other people. I no longer fit into my old clothes (was a size 6!!) now a 8-10.. but of course these are only comments, they just annoyed me a bit..

Ishmael · 13-07-2007 5:15pm

Well, regardless of whether they are saying it in positive or negative way, if the comments are making you uncomfortable in your job or other situation, you should try to put a stop to it.

Just ask them in a nice way to not comment about it.

b3t4 · 13-07-2007 5:31pm

Right, all those questions answered, my advise would be to give as good as you get

If they make such a personal comment about you then feel free to give a personal comment back about them. They more than likely won't be expecting that and it'll knock them into considering what they've been saying to you.

A.

Talliesin · 13-07-2007 10:48pm

Storm_rages wrote:

The problem is a number of people have now remarked about the weight of I have put on. (I’m about 5 foot and weigh about 8 stone now before I was about 7 stone!).

Just say, "yes, it's great isn't it, I'm so glad to be getting up to something healthy".

People's Remarks

Comments