Work problem

CrazyNoob

Would appreciate opinions or advice on what I should do?

Work for a large global international company and I am just after being on a conferrence call. Was six people on it 3 UK based (project manager etc) and rest European.
When I dialed in I was only on the call when I hear one of the UK guys stating
"I havent got a clue and I'm clueless etc" needless to say he and the others didnt know I had joined the call.
I'm relatively new to company (2 monthes) and was lumped with this (as I'm the 3rd person landed with the project 2 others left) I dont have any info on the project and support/order people with info have also left.
The UK guys have more expericence so its easy to them.
The guy slagging me off left the call, and I left also same time without saying anything, I was so annoyed and disppointed to hear a collegue slagging me off to a group after I have been trying to learn the new systems and info on this project.
If he was in same office I'd be down at his desk most likey confronting him in regard to his remarks stating that I think they are unfair etc.

I dont know whether to just let it go / call him / email him
What would you guys do?

KTRIC

I think the best thing to do is give him a call. People say stupid things all the time and don't realise what effect that they have on others.

Talk to him and see what sort of issues he has with you or your work and seeing as he's more experienced than you he might be able to give you some pointers.

If hes not approachable when you call him then go straight over his head to his boss and complain about the comment.

AngryBadger

KTRIC wrote:

I think the best thing to do is give him a call. People say stupid things all the time and don't realise what effect that they have on others.

Talk to him and see what sort of issues he has with you or your work and seeing as he's more experienced than you he might be able to give you some pointers.

If hes not approachable when you call him then go straight over his head to his boss and complain about the comment.

Agreed, whatever the situation it's the height of unprofessional for him to be commenting about anyone behind their back.

CrazyNoob

Thanks for the feedback
He's not really approachable (person who makes such comments generally are)

Involving his manager makes it even more official, (I'm undecided yet if I think I should)

I was thinking of emailing the Project manager and saying that I feel that, X's comments werent professional, and unfair?

To be honest I dont really want to work on this project now given X's comments, but I dont want to seem like a child sulking and trying to remain professional myself

Maple

CrazyNoob wrote:

Thanks for the feedback
He's not really approachable (person who makes such comments generally are)

Involving his manager makes it even more official, (I'm undecided yet if I think I should)

I was thinking of emailing the Project manager and saying that I feel that, X's comments werent professional, and unfair?

To be honest I dont really want to work on this project now given X's comments, but I dont want to seem like a child sulking and trying to remain professional myself

Yes do this. Do not let this pass.

muppetkiller

Are you 100% sure he was talking about you ?

CrazyNoob

Yes I'm sure, X was referring to me because
He misprounced my surname then corrected himself

biko

Ring him now

CrazyNoob

Also to follow
The was another person on the call who does the same function so I'm not sure if they have just siliently replaced me.
X made a follow-up comment on along the lines of how he is glad to deal with them for the information and then made his excuses and hung up
Thats when I left the call in surprise

smiley666

If it was me I would email the person in question explaining that I had dialled in and overheard what was said about me.

I would explain as you have already said “ that I am relatively new to company (2 months). I would tell him that I don’t have any information on the project, I would remind him that I'm the third person landed with it as two others have already left and that the support/order people with any information have also left.”

I would also take the opportunity to tell him how annoyed and disappointed I felt when I heard what was said especially as I was making a genuine effort to learn the new systems and information on the project….. That should have him feeling pretty low (hopefully)

I would also suggest that in the future if he felt I was inadequate that it would probably benefit everyone concerned if he was more upfront with his opinions. I would end the email by stating that whilst there may be areas that I needed to improve that I would welcome and look forward to any positive suggestions he has to offer in order to assist me with these.



Finally I would send a copy of it to everybody else that took part in the conversation.

Not only will you get it off your chest, but it will show this man up for the unprofessional twat that he is.

Try not to let it bother you too much. Nobody knows it all……

LegacyUser

'Is the Manager approacable ?

Maybe, he' a bigger c*nt than X.

If he's approachable - then, U could state your opinion in
the nice way that you did in your above post. Maybe - he
will get to thinking that if they don't treat U right, U might leave.
And, good people (such as yourself) are hard to find !!!

What do they expect from U after only 2 months with the
company - FFS !!!!!!!!'

LegacyUser

'OP here (still bit shocked and disappointed) so quick update,

I did as you said Smiley666, seemed good advice, and others good advice too, about not letting it go unnoticed. thanks for that does feel slightly better.

Emailed PM and him (X) with words much like what smiley666 and others suggested.
That was near close of business Friday so I wont have a full update till monday.

I'd be surprised if he (X) has the courtsey to reply.
Still not sure on PM side of things wether to tell him to stick his team/project or remain on it in deifance.

Will let you guys know.
Ta
CrazyNoob'

Glowing

Good for you!!
I would have probably cowered in the corner and started crying, i'm a bit of a wuss!
Well done for standing up for yourself.
P.S What an ass, make sure to update us with his reply!

WindSock

Thats awful. Theres nothing worse than made feel inadequate when you have just started a new job. This Guy sounds like a right pillock and is quite clueless himself to be bitching about you when you are still on the line! I would have loved to of seen his face if you gave a little 'ahem.'
Hope it all works out for you and the guy feels as small as he is.

newestUser

I'm going to offer a different point of view.

This man said you were clueless about your work.

But you're new, you quite possibly are.

He's not slagging you off, he's just telling it like it is. And you're being too sensitive.

Or maybe he actually was being really, *really* nasty and personal about you. I don't know.

smiley666

Op. It is best to try to get closure on negative events no matter how insignificant they may seem.

A polite email was most appropriate in my opinion. At least you can never look back on this situation and regret not having your say and standing up for yourself.

Do you feel you can successfully complete the project??? If I were you, despite having been ridiculed by this man and personally hurt by him, I would try to stay on it. Work this to your advantage. Do your best and when you succeed you will be a happier person for it.

Completing the project despite what has happened will give you the opportunity to show the managers in this company your true character and determination.

Best of luck with whatever follows…

homerjay2005

id report it and say that this is unacceptable behaviour, dont leave anybody like this walk all over you.

i have a feeling that i know the company who you are working for based on a few things that you said!!!!

newestUser

I'm going to play devils advocate here. I realise I don't know the full story, so apologies if this offends anyone.

People in work situations tend to detach themselves from their colleagues to a certain extent. I've found that work can depersonalise relationships between people, and colleagues can talk about each other as if they were office equipment.

Q. Does this laptop have Windows XP on it?

A. Nah, it's a paperweight.

Q. Is <crazynoob> up to speed on the new project?

A. Nah, he's clueless.

These guys who made the comments are in a different country, who for all we know have never seen the OP in person, and who never will. They're not his mates, they never/rarely see him, can you blame them for depersonalising him a bit?

If your friends talked about you in this manner, you'd be right to pissed off at them. But these are geographically distant colleagues. Social norms in the workplace (and particularly between people who rarely/never see each other) are different than between friends or family.

Relationships with colleagues can be very impersonal. Perhaps the OP is personalising an off-the-cuff remark made by someone who has possibly never laid eyes on the OP and feels no more of a social bond with him than he does with the photocopier.

Discuss.

smiley666

NewestUser

You’re right, social norms in the workplace may well be different than that between friends or family. Does that necessarily make it ok to comment about somebody without giving them the opportunity to respond??? I don’t think so.

The Op imo was right to email the people in question and tell them how he felt. If for no other reason, it has given him the opportunity to seek support/assistance from those people that have a better knowledge of the project than he does.

Everyday I meet people that I do not have a ‘bond’ with. Just because said ‘bond’ does not exist I don’t assume the right to berate them.

So they're in a different country, don’t know him and maybe depersonalise him a bit! Ok, but these are business people ffs. That mans off-the-cuff remarks on his next conference call may very well land him in a lot of trouble. If nothing else it should teach him a valuable lesson.

newestUser

We don't know whether the guy was berating the OP, *really* tearing him to shreads and being a total dickhead, or whether he made an off-the-cuff remark with a careless choice of words.

I'm not saying that I'm right, and that you, or the OP, are wrong. I'm just raising the possibility that the guys behaviour might have been pretty standard office talk which you'll get anywhere, which the OP has taken too personally.

CrazyNoob

Came into office at 8:30 this morning
Needless to say no response from that guy X. (Didnt think I'd get any to be honest.)

Newest User, yes I might be taking it personally, as it seemed to me to be a comment made about an individual (me) made in front of others.
X wasnt talking to one person directly but a group. I wouldnt have had as much of a problem if X had said it to one person directly, but he was commenting to a group.
I really feel that, its a professional discourtsey, whether he geographically seperated from me or not.
I also know the difference between a throw away remark and someone be-littling someone else to make themselves feel good.

_Kaiser_

I wouldn't worry yet OP. It's not 10AM yet. If it's anything like the multinational I worked for in the past (hey it could even be the same one! :eek: ) then most people don't show up till 9/9.30, and by the time they have brekkie it's about 10 before they even open their email.

Anyway, for what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. Although I can see newestuser's points, the fact that the person in question hasn't met the OP is irrelevant. It's highly unprofessional to make comments like that on a conference call where other project leaders/management may have been listening.

If the guy had/has a problem with the OP's work, he should have brought it to the OP directly either by phone or email. Although, I will agree that all too often people like this do tend to badmouth others - perhaps in the hope of making themselves look good/covering their own asses.

Don't worry anymore about it OP, but if it happens again, or you get the email and it's more of the same, just send it to your direct manager and explain you feel it's unwarranted and unprofessional given that you're new, and learning the project etc etc, and let them take it up with the other guy/HIS manager directly.

Just because this sort of thing does go on in the workplace, doen't mean it's acceptable, nor are the OP's feelings on the matter any less valid because he's new. If anything it's even LESS acceptable in my opinion.