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relationship adice

  • 16-07-2007 12:27pm
    #1
    sholmesh
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    currently in a 7 year relationship, living together, no longer find her attractive, noticing myself flirting a lot at parties with other girls.

    One girl in particular has caught my eye and we are abviously attracted to each other. I have been tempted to cheat but can't for respect of my partner.

    I have invested a lot in my current situation and ending it seems very difficult as we are good friends and have all the usual stuff like dogs, family, common friends etc.

    Is it cowardly and unfair to stay in this relationship when I can certainly say I don't love her?


Comments

  • #2
    CathyMoran
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,458 ✭✭✭CathyMoran


    I think that they call it the 7 year itch. My now hubby and I broke up after several years together, saw other people and ended up (happily) back together. If I were you I would save the heartbreak and focus on what made you attracted to her in the first place, you can get it back, honest.


  • #3
    Shazam69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭Shazam69


    Your in a tricky situation there my man. If you do have feeling which are waining as the days goes by well I'd sit down & talk it through. Not easy I know and your girlfriend will get upset but its better having things out in the open then cutting you up inside!


  • #4
    jamie_jj69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 71 ✭✭jamie_jj69


    I think Cathy is right. I've gone through somethin similar myself recently where we did split and I went off with other people, at 1st it felt amazin, I had my freedom, I could do what I want and when I wanted to, with nothing to tie me down. It was excellent, a new lease of life....

    Or so I thought, it lasted about a week. By the 2nd week it was torture. I was all alone. I had my mates alright but at the end of the day I was all alone at home etc... I had taken her for granted and my eyes were closed to it all - I never realised how bad I would miss her till she was gone. When I woke she wasnt there, when I got home the house was empty and exactly as I left it. It gave me the oppertunitity to look over my life. I thought about the pain and hurt I caused her and it cut me up. How could I do it to the one person that I want.. my best friend and definitely who I now know is my soulmate.

    I thought it had gone too far for me to reverse it. Thankfully she saw my decision was hasty and held on until she absolutely knew there was no more hope for us. She took me back and I'll thank her till the end for it. We're stronger than ever and I'm glad I'm one of the lucky ones. We sat and discussed all our feelings and emotions and completely cleared the air. All is good and there's no looking back or holding anything against me.

    All I'm saying is that really think about your decision. Things do go stale and after such a long time it has to vent, and usually with drastic results. Think about all the good times you've had, what attracted you to her in the 1st place - if you do leave her, trust me you'll find it hard to find anyone in the same mould as her. Fair play to you for staying loyal to her, its only right. Even though I was with people when we split, when I look back now I feel like I've cheated and cant forgive myself for it.

    Everyone's story is different I suppose, but good luck with it all and I hope you find the right answers soon. Just wanted to share my experience and hope the same mistake isnt happening elsewhere.

    J


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