Bad joke competition.....

RoyalMarine

President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approaching him.
"What is it?" the President yells.
"It's the abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks...
"Just go ahead and pay it," responds the President.

RoyalMarine

What did letter O say to figure 8

Nice belt


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ah i win

Mr.Plough

2 dyslexic men sitting in a van.

one says "can you smell petrol?"

other says " i cant even smell my name"

Mr.Plough

french man wearing sandals?

Philippe Flop

Mr.Plough

stevie wonder got a new cheese grater. best book hes ever read

sd123

*what did the big phone say to the little phone...


ur too young to be engaged.




* what did one plate say to the other plate...


dinners on me.



* what did the fish say when he swam into a wall...



DAMN


* two blondes sitting on a bench, one takes out a lunchbox and says if you can guess how many sandwiches are in here, I'll give you both of them....



* Whats the difference between a duck???


*whats the maddest thing in a bakery?


a fruit cake


* Two flies on a door, which one's crazy?



The one that flies off the handle....



(exits through the BACK door)

It BeeMee

sd123 wrote:

* Whats the difference between a duck???

One of his legs is both the same

It BeeMee

Where does Quasimodo keep his pet rabbits?

In a hutch, back of Notre Dame.....

uncle ernie

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

did you hear about the farmer that got run over by the magic tractor ?

there was a big turnip at his funeral

the priest said lettuce pray

The Bollox

a man walked into a bar and collapsed




it was an iron bar

coin

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

Jesus Wept

coin wrote:

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

love it!

pd101

What do you call a girl with one leg?

Eileen ( I lean)

What do you call a girl with no legs?

Noleen

The Bollox

look what you've started!

what do you call a man with a shovel?

Doug

what do you call a man without a shovel?

Douglass

what do you call a man with a gun?

whatever the fcuk he asks you to

Enright

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff

What do you call an Irish man mauled by a lion?

Paid


What do you call an Irish man mauled by six lions?

Paid Ó Se

Capt'n Midnight

pd101 wrote:

What do you call a girl with one leg?

Eileen ( I lean)

What do you call a girl with no legs?

Noleen

what do you call a girl with one leg and a kitten on her shoulder ?

Cathleen

eddiehobbs

What do you call a spaniard who got his car stolen?

Car-los.

Chinafoot

What's Green and hard?


A frog with a flick knife.



There's 2 teddy bears in a hot-press. Which one is the soldier?

The one on the tank.

FrCrilly

Deleted message

im_invisible

did you see the film about the magic tractor?

no, i only saw the trailer

FrCrilly

Q: What are the strongest days of the week.

A: Saturday and Sunday, because the others are weak days.

(Funny if you’re under 10).

xzanti

Whats black white black white black white black white....
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A nun falling down the stairs


Whats black and white and goes heheheeh...
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The nun that pushed her..