Nobody sits beside me on the bus!

boardinwork

I've had this chat with my mate, actually i think he brought it up. I thought it was interesting because for years i had noticed it. Were always the last people to be sat beside when people jump on the bus. Were both 25, decent looking, well dressed and hygenic. Every day on the way home from work, there i am sitting in my suit, getting burnt by everyone. Usually when someone sits beside me its a man and were both crushed behind the little seats.

Does this happen to anybody else! Have they noticed? Maybe myself and my mate are just mutants

Collie D

Jesus, if that's your biggest concern in life you're a lucky man. Are you a large man...maybe people would like their space?

Tak3n

I have the same problem... i put it down to the fact that i think girls are intimidated by my huge muscles and perfectly chiseled cheekbones.

boardinwork

Ha ha its not a concern, its just an observation. I dont feel rejected, im on a bus going home! Just wanted to see if anyone else noticed it. My mate said it to me and i realised it happened to me too! Im 6'1 but i wouldnt be a huge lad

AnonoBoy

Maybe you have the look of a sex offender about you?

Or else it's just cause you're big and people prefer to sit beside someone small cause they have more room then.

But it could well be the sexy offender thing!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

I wish I had that problem.. hate sitting beisde people on the bus

_blank_

I wish I was you tbh. I hate it when anyone sits beside me on the bus. From ranting drunks to hot girls.

Ranting drunks is fairly obvious, but "why hot girls?" I hear you ask.

Well, it's quite hard to check them out properly when they are right beside you, better a seat or two away on the other side of the bus

Best seat on the bus is the one just behind the stairs, lots of legroom and you can see everyone going down the stairs.

Red Hand

Couple of tips, OP.

Carry a little cardboard sign proclaiming the phrase "Sit with me! I'm boardinwork, and am completely hygenic, mentally stable and a good bus-buddy!")

Try and catch a person's eyes as they are coming down the aisle of the bus.

If you do catch their eye, smile broadly and point at the above sign, and beckon.

If this fails to attract them, then verbally attract them ("Hey! Guy in the blue! Guy in the blu-e-e-e-e-e-e! Sit with me! I'm normal!")

If noone does sit with you, then take the initiative! Poach someone from an adjoining seat by taking them by the elbow back to your seat ("Hello, I'm boardinwork, and I really want some company back in that seat there.")






It's always worked for me!:p

The Bollox

Mordeth wrote:

I wish I had that problem.. hate sitting beisde people on the bus

ditto, it means your lounging room is restricted.

I was beside a twitchy f*cker on the train this morning. he was asleep but kept fidgetting, and it really pissed me off. I was very tempted to give him a good elbow in the ribs and then feign sleep, see how he liked it. However, in contrary to the nick, I am too nice a guy

Vegeta

The Bollox wrote:

ditto, it means your lounging room is restricted.

I was beside a twitchy f*cker on the train this morning. he was asleep but kept fidgetting, and it really pissed me off. I was very tempted to give him a good elbow in the ribs and then feign sleep, see how he liked it. However, in contrary to the nick, I am too nice a guy

he was probably dreaming about dry humping you

mickoneill30

Sit right in the middle of the seat to discourage anybody from sitting beside you. I always sit beside those people (unless there's a reason they need to take up both seats).

Peewee_lane

boardinwork wrote:

I've had this chat with my mate, actually i think he brought it up. I thought it was interesting because for years i had noticed it. Were always the last people to be sat beside when people jump on the bus. Were both 25, decent looking, well dressed and hygenic. Every day on the way home from work, there i am sitting in my suit, getting burnt by everyone. Usually when someone sits beside me its a man and were both crushed behind the little seats.

Does this happen to anybody else! Have they noticed? Maybe myself and my mate are just mutants

I think its more of a, where am I going to be more comfortable kind of situation. I always see where I'm going to be able to relax more than next to someone good looking. Although, I do base my seat preferences on who looks presentable.

But its a win lose situation. I sit on my own, and then a coloured lady behind me chewed bubble gum with her mouth open for an entire hour ( I live out past Lucan) and I heard every single disgusting chew. Then yesterday, a professional lady sat next to me and I said, cool, plenty of space, but she had the most grotesque bad breath and I nearly vomited.

Think yourself lucky, you never know WHO might sit next to you.

Gator

I think Il go with the sex offender thing

The Bollox

mickoneill30 wrote:

Sit right in the middle of the seat to discourage anybody from sitting beside you. I always sit beside those people (unless there's a reason they need to take up both seats).

you're just after contradicting yourself! sayin that if you do sit in the middle you pose as a target

2 stroke

Try getting on the same bus as your friend, see if he sits beside you.

boardinwork

I'll let you know how i get on lads after work today Might make a sign as suggested...

Thought somebody else out there would have thought the same before, obviously not!:rolleyes:

mickoneill30

The Bollox wrote:

you're just after contradicting yourself! sayin that if you do sit in the middle you pose as a target

That's the OPs point. He wants people to sit beside him.

Gator

mickoneill30 wrote:

That's the OPs point. He wants people to sit beside him.

Weirdo

Venom

You lucky lucky bastard OP Wish I had your problem

BKtje

Happens to me too and im ickle but i love it really. Lets you relax without having to squeeze into half a seat (those seats are small enough as it is anyway).

What i do hate tho is those ****ers who take up two seats on a packed bus and then have the nerve to look pissed off when you ask em to move the **** over so you can sit down. Them and bags, i bloody hate small bags that are taking up a spot on a busy bus. Maybe i shoulda posted this in the "what really grinds my gears thread"

arybvtcw0eolkf

boardinwork wrote:

I've had this chat with my mate, actually i think he brought it up. I thought it was interesting because for years i had noticed it. Were always the last people to be sat beside when people jump on the bus. Were both 25, decent looking, well dressed and hygenic. Every day on the way home from work, there i am sitting in my suit, getting burnt by everyone. Usually when someone sits beside me its a man and were both crushed behind the little seats.

Does this happen to anybody else! Have they noticed? Maybe myself and my mate are just mutants

I never sit beside fat people, maybe your fat?.

Collie D

B-K-DzR wrote:

What i do hate tho is those ****ers who take up two seats on a packed bus and then have the nerve to look pissed off when you ask em to move the **** over so you can sit down. Them and bags, i bloody hate small bags that are taking up a spot on a busy bus. Maybe i shoulda posted this in the "what really grinds my gears thread"

Yeah, people with bags on seats annoy the hell out of me too. And they look at you as if you have greatly affronted them by asking them to move it. I usually mumble just loud enough so they can hear but not too loud that they're sure they heard right "Well if you can show me two bus tickets to prove you paid for two seats you can keep the bag on the chair"

Skip Work!

You should buy a car and save yourself all this thought over who sits where on the bus!!

Terry

I put on a really menacing face every time it looks like someone might sit beside me. Works 99% of the time.

TerrorFirmer

I used to not mind people sitting beside me until one day a really old guy who smelt of cheese and onion crisps got on, and through the entire traffic jammed journey of about 45 minutes, asked me questions that started off with 'Nice weather isn't it' and ended with 'Just yourself and your sister at home then with mammy and daddy then heh? (pause) What does she look like?'.

It was absolutely horrible.....horrible....

justsomebloke

one word LYNX

red_ice

bus? muahahah

/me drives off in his comfy car

Collie D

red_ice wrote:

/me drives off in his comfy car

To sit in gridlock and tailbacks while we zoom by along the bus lane ;o)

Vic Vinegar

2 stroke wrote:

Try getting on the same bus as your friend, see if he sits beside you.

LoL

Kinetic^

Maybe there's a smell of Aids off you!!!

The_B_Man

have u checked for an erection?

them buses can be quite...eh...ya know, when they're stopped at lights.

Reku

boardinwork wrote:

Usually when someone sits beside me its a man and were both crushed behind the little seats.

Maybe this is why, people like their space and if you're already taking up the best part of the two seats why sit beside you when there's more space in one of the other available seats.

The only things I hate regarding people sitting beside me on the bus is when guys try to show the world "Hey look, I can spread my legs to 90 degrees for no real reason! Aren't I amazing." (I am male myself so I KNOW there is no real reason beyond ego for doing this) or when ignorent fecks read the newspaper holding it up so you keep getting elbowed by them.

boardinwork

The_B_Man wrote:

have u checked for an erection?

them buses can be quite...eh...ya know, when they're stopped at lights.

Yeah that is a different topic but god that used to happen to me alot years back. Used to have to go through this road with a load of pot holes, before you know it i'm pitching a tent and its my stop. The good ole nip and tuck between the belt has to be done perfectly and quickly to avoid embarrassment in that situation.

artnotort

i have the opposite problem

old women love to sit beside me and talk

thefinalstage

farohar wrote:

Maybe this is why, people like their space and if you're already taking up the best part of the two seats why sit beside you when there's more space in one of the other available seats.

The only things I hate regarding people sitting beside me on the bus is when guys try to show the world "Hey look, I can spread my legs to 90 degrees for no real reason! Aren't I amazing." (I am male myself so I KNOW there is no real reason beyond ego for doing this) or when ignorent fecks read the newspaper holding it up so you keep getting elbowed by them.

Actually if you have a large sack (ahem) it is needed to keep your legs open. Its really uncomfortable on a long journey to sit there with sweaty or chafing bits.

Zapp Brannigan

Anytime someone sits next to me on the bus and I don't want them to, I just do this*; Start making a really high-pitched beeping sound every 3 seconds. After a while turn to your seat buddy and ask them if they can hear that strange noise. Keep getting louder until they move


*May, or may not, be true.

Creamy Goodness

seansouth wrote:

Well, it's quite hard to check them out properly when they are right beside you, better a seat or two away on the other side of the bus

you need to perfect the staring out the window but really checking out her reflection trick.

Ghost Train

If you want to sit beside somebody, why don't you pick somebody and sit beside them, don't wait for someone else to sit beside you

gidget

The worst is when someone sits next to ya & absolutely stinks of urine:mad:
You just find yourself cursing the bus driver to hurry the f*** up and drive so you can get to your bus-stop quicker and breath properly after holding it for that particular part of the journey!!

StephenC_IRL

yeah nobody sits beside me either, but i like it, id rather a seat to myself than with some morbidly obese woman

monkey tennis

Peewee_lane wrote:

a coloured lady behind me chewed bubble gum

Was this in the 1950s?

_Kaiser_

^^ Now now, let's not spoil a fun thread by going all PC... :rolleyes:

I'm with my fellow car driver though.. Always guaranteed a seat, don't have to listen to someone else's choice in music, phone conversations etc, warm/cool (depending on the day), dry and don't have to let anyone sit beside me I don't want to.

As for the gridlock thing.. all you need to do is have a few alternate routes planned to avoid the worst of it.. not like the buses that have to crawl through it regardless!

Cars ftw!

Also Starring LeVar Burton

Terry wrote:

I put on a really menacing face every time it looks like someone might sit beside me. Works 99% of the time.

I do that aswell, works like a charm.

Peyton Manning

Happens me too, I dont get it. I even offer to pull back up my pants, but they dont even answer. Some ignorant people out there.

Reku

thelastangryman wrote:

Actually if you have a large sack (ahem) it is needed to keep your legs open. Its really uncomfortable on a long journey to sit there with sweaty or chafing bits.

If your sac was that large you'd have such a waddle that everyone would think you got all your pleasure from the other side of your body, or be the best customer for jockstraps in the whole country.
You keep believing your so well endowed, the rest of us know all too well you're just overcompensating.

TEH REAL CDP

people are intimidated by me and usually get shy because I'm hot.

Also Starring LeVar Burton

TEH REAL CDP wrote:

people are intimidated by me and usually get shy because I'm hot.

So what you really mean is you've got really bad BO, right?

thefinalstage

farohar wrote:

If your sac was that large you'd have such a waddle that everyone would think you got all your pleasure from the other side of your body, or be the best customer for jockstraps in the whole country.
You keep believing your so well endowed, the rest of us know all too well you're just overcompensating.

Over compensating? Pfft strictly comfort. If I didn't have to I wouldn't but as it stands I do. Jock straps you say? I never heard of those before I shall have to give them a look!

mickoneill30

thelastangryman wrote:

If I didn't have to I wouldn't but as it stands I do.

You might need to get that checked out. It really shouldn't be that much of a problem for you.

phasers

people never sit next to me

but I put it down to them not wanting to look like pedophiles
avoid the 16 year old on her own or you're a pedo
it works for me, I hate people sitting next to me

2 stroke

thelastangryman wrote:

Actually if you have a large sack (ahem) it is needed to keep your legs open. Its really uncomfortable on a long journey to sit there with sweaty or chafing bits.

If this realy is a problem try Jasper Conran underwear, available in Debenhams. Much more comfortable than underwear designed by women, theres actualy built in ballroom, expensive though I spent €150 on a weeks suply at christmas. Maybe you won't be so angry then.