Sex of Bikes

Finner

My theory is that bikes for girls are females and bikes for boys are males. I say if it has a drop down cross bar it's a girl and if not it's a boy. But I have a friend who insists that his bike is a girl since according to him all vehicles are girls and he likes to make jokes about how hard he rides her! We have debates about it all the time and I want to finish it once and for all by asking you guys. What do you think?

Dirk Gently

Your theory is flawed. After much scientific research over many years on the subject the following is accepted as how to determine the sex of your bike.


If the bike does what it's supposed to do and performs efficiently it's a male.

If however the bike refuses to work properly for no logical reason, has lots of cosmetic parts that add nothing to the bike but are really expensive, speeds up and then the breaks jam on at the wrong moment and if after every cycle you end up outside the entrance to a shopping centre despite not planning to end up there then the bike is obviously a female.

If a bike shows symptoms of both it is obviously confused about its sex and might be a trans-gendered bike.

If your bike is high maintenance and needs lots of care and attention to keep it going hassle free then its definately female.

oobydooby

I think Flann O'Brien sorted this one out. Have you never heard of 'the Molecular Theory'?

311

I actually think a lot of male cruisers are gay ,so they appeal both to female and male.

They always tend to be the ones with the cross bar being very low.

ThOnda

My bike's name is Coccaine, so I really don't care what sex it is - I am enjoying it as it is without asking ;-)

Turbulent Bill

Judging by the way mine breaks my balls at any given opportunity, definitely female...

BeardyGit

ALL vehicles are 'she' ye silly lads and lasses. Bleddy 'ell....D'ye see what happens when ya give wimmen the vote? They start wearing troooosers and cyclin' bikes with springs up't front....Callin' 'em 'He' instead o' 'She' and gettin' all uppity....

Fred Dibna't turn in grave he would.

Civilian_Target

No way. My bike's strong, fast, nimble, reliable and never makes much noise.
The evidence says its a man.