coming out of the closet?

LegacyUser

Rant alert!

Looking for some opinions here. I am a 21 year old, so not a teenager. I would consider myself to be heterosexual but I have been in situations where I have kissed other guys. This would be for things like “if the two of us guys kiss then the two of you girls have to kiss”. Most heterosexual would be very put off by this as the last thing they want to do is perform such an act on a member of the same sex, I however find the act hilarious. It’s half because I think “omg! I’m kissing a guy!” and half because of the looks of disgust on other peoples faces.

I don’t find any other ‘gay’ act to be in any way appealing, or funny and wouldn’t do it just to see two girls doing the equivalent. I don’t like gay porn, but at the same time I don’t like straight porn either. I prefer erotica and girl-on-girl.

The thing that really got me thinking was though. A friend of mine was leaving the country for a while over the weekend. When I left for home he said to the group of four “before x (me) goes home, everyone has to score him” there were two guys and two girls. The thought didn’t throw me in the least and I did it. I preferred kissing the girls, but I wasn’t repulsed kissing the guys.

What I want to know is, do you think I am a closet bi / gay, or just open minded. I would prefer to think of myself as open minded, but I want some neutral opinions. I mean is this how some of you started coming out of the closet?

Sorry about the length

azezil

Kissing guys doesn't make you gay, getting a boner when you're kissing a guy on the other hand does

biko

I kissed my best friend on a dare once. There's a looong step from that to be exited about having another hairy man in the same bed as you *shudders*

Boston

You sound like an average hetrosexual to me. Remove the stigma and most guys will say "yea I've no problem doing it, but its not what I'm into".

teemm

I think it's quite straightforward, if I can use that term. If you are sexually attracted to girls, you are straight. If you are attracted to guys, you are gay. If both you are bi.

Kissing is not sex. You can't turn gay but you might enjoy a phsysical relationship with a guy. My own personal belief about sex is that it's just sex. Gay or straight, if you are open to it. It's just something enjoyable you do. Gay men frequently have sex with women they are not attracted to for all kinds of social reasons. Many are married. I often think if straight men were more honest to themselves they might enjoy sex with another man. But there is so much BS surrounding the issue. They can't admit it.

Sexuality is different, that denotes your preferences. I think you know where you stand on that in your own mind.

LegacyUser

thanks for the replies. I have never been in any way aroused from kissing the lads, no. I have been curious though, although I doubt I would ever follow it up.

MedJelly

You sound like an average hetrosexual to me. Remove the stigma and most guys will say "yea I've no problem doing it, but its not what I'm into".

A few of my straight(I think!) friends are always touching me! Putting their hand on my shoulder, knocking their shoulder against my shoulder and putting their hand on my knee(for a brief period of time of course:rolleyes: ). Whether you're hetero or gay, every guy seems to enjoy physical contact with other guys. Heart breaking for me because I have a massive crush on my friend and every time he gives me a little hug it's all I can do not to plant a sloppy one on his lips! But I don't think he's gay, it's natural I suppose.

Sorry. A bit tipsy.:rolleyes:

Talliesin

I'm afraid you are straight. Don't worry about it, some of my best friends are straight. I can't say I really understand it, but they're lovely people all the same.

PeteK*

Do you ever see guys that you would love to go over and snog?

And how long have the kisses been that you've had already?

azezil

Talliesin wrote:

I'm afraid you are straight. Don't worry about it, some of my best friends are straight. I can't say I really understand it, but they're lovely people all the same.

*grin*

Shunra

*Cough* Kinsey Scale *Cough*

Talliesin

... is crude and of minimal value?

You should get that cough looked at.

Mawg

Sounds like the friend who suggested that you kiss the group is gay. (I'm presuming that friend was a guy)

Vinnie69

Talliesin wrote:

I'm afraid you are straight. Don't worry about it, some of my best friends are straight. I can't say I really understand it, but they're lovely people all the same.

I have to agree with you but you know they go through an awful lot of hassle reproducing to produce the occasional perfect specimen like us gays.

damien

Mawg wrote:

Sounds like the friend who suggested that you kiss the group is gay.

Yeah.

patrickolee

Sorry, i'm gonna have to disagree with all the others and say you probably are a little bi and seeking reassurance that you are not! Why you are looking for that reassurance, only you can tell. By the sounds of it most of your friends know that you swing both ways too. They probably know you better than any of us. Come to think of it, even you are telling us you think you are bi, by your username "bi-the-way" and title for the thread "coming out of the closet?". But in any event, don't worry about, just do what you feel comfortable with. Sexuality is rarely black/white or even shades of gray.

Talliesin

patrickolee wrote:

Come to think of it, even you are telling us you think you are bi, by your username "bi-the-way" and title for the thread "coming out of the closet?".

Yeah, that completely outweighs the description of feeling and acting straight :rolleyes:

patrickolee wrote:

But in any event, don't worry about, just do what you feel comfortable with. Sexuality is rarely black/white or even shades of gray.

This point though I agree with.

juuge

As a matter of interest where did the phrase 'coming out of the closet' come from?

trevorku

I dont believe the who straight guys kissing on a dare thing. No matter how brave you are, an average straight guy would not kiss another guy unless he was either drunk out of his mind or .... lets say he was at least curious about the opposite sex.

I'm not judging you in any way, dont get me wrong. However guy on guy kissing is not about dares or anything, you wouldnt have done it unless you were curious no matter what the truth or dare consequences were.

I believe that you may kinda have a thing for men, maybe its harmless fun and you want to experiment. Doesnt make you gay or bi,,, unless of course you would like to pursue it further. Maybe if you go further with a guy then you will no for sure whether it either turns you on, or repulses you. One way of the other you will know for sure.

By the way, this other guy you kissed on a dare ? Call him, sounds like he might be up for a lil more...

Talliesin

trevorku wrote: »

No matter how brave you are, an average straight guy would not kiss another guy unless he was either drunk out of his mind or .... lets say he was at least curious about the opposite sex.

I think he already knows he's not an average straight guy. Not the same as being gay.

I've snogged plenty of straight guys for the laugh. I'd never snog an average straight guy though - ewwww!

markw999

But he seemed to only snog for a dare. We've all done that. I know a fair few straight guys who are comfortable enough to do it for a laugh or whatever.