Guys' Rules

Hagar

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, rugby, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Alanthroneus

Id like to add ...sleeping straight after sex is acceptable...we dont need to cuddle and talk about the day weve had

Plug

Well done Hager, some good ones in there! I'll be saying them to me mother later:D

Rhonda9000

Plug wrote:

Well done Hager, some good ones in there! I'll be saying them to me mother later:D

Hopefully she'll be spared the one about talking after sex.

foxy06

So true and I am a woman so this is sooo embarassing!

knighted_1

Alanthroneus wrote:

...sleeping straight after sex is acceptable......

its actually a compliment to her that shes done the job right....good girl

Gary ITR

knighted_1 wrote:

its actually a compliment to her that shes done the job right....good girl

I've tried this.. my virginity grew back:(

darkskol

Hagar wrote:

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

QFT:D

Capt'n Midnight

Hagar wrote:

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

qft.

folan

brilliant.

And the whole sleeping after sex thing... just means you've relaxed me.

Marshy

Nice