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Ever caught letting off some knuckle children

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24567…10

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    #32
    Anti
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,401 ✭✭✭✭Anti


    Never been caught rubbing one out myself. Thank ****. How could you look into that persons eyes again?


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    #33
    GhostInTheRuins
    Registered Users Posts: 5,963 ✭✭✭GhostInTheRuins


    CantGetNoSleep wrote:
    is there not a game called mam or something?

    you have to call yer ma when ur **** and see if you can finish before she gets to you

    WTF?


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    #34
    Agamemnon
    Registered Users Posts: 2,367 ✭✭✭Agamemnon


    Anti wrote:
    Never been caught rubbing one out myself. Thank ****. How could you look into that persons eyes again?

    The trick is to aim a burst of molten ejaculate right into that person's eyes as they catch you and blind them. Problem solved.


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    #35
    Wacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭Wacker


    agamemnon wrote:
    The trick is to aim a burst of molten ejaculate right into that person's eyes as they catch you and blind them. Problem solved.
    Charming!


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    #36
    trout
    Registered Users Posts: 9,945 ✭✭✭trout


    A friend of mine was caught late one night, with his trollies down doing the penguin walk to some gonzo porn on the family TV.

    He was right on the vinegar strokes, when his mother walks in screaming. The worst part, as he tells it, is he came all over the TV while it was showing a close up of one of the actor's rear ends ... it's bad enough to be caught red-handed, but for your mum to see you ejaculate on a screened image of another man's hairy a$$ must be hard to live with. Not the best situation for a grown man of 25.

    He moved out soon after, and relations have been frosty ever since. :(


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    #37
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    CantGetNoSleep wrote:
    is there not a game called mam or something?

    you have to call yer ma when ur **** and see if you can finish before she gets to you
    I heard of it before, but never tried it. aparently it's brilliant as your adrenaline is flowing


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    #38
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    PS3??

    Another poll not worthy of a vote.


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    #39
    Splinter
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭Splinter


    na never been caught... mother thought she caught me doing it... turns out i was just hiding vodka in my room


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    #40
    Steve_o
    Registered Users Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    splinter wrote:
    na never been caught... mother thought she caught me doing it... turns out i was just hiding vodka in my room

    Whats worrying is that was the first conclusion Your ma jumped too....


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    #41
    Siogfinsceal
    Registered Users Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭Siogfinsceal


    trout wrote:
    A friend of mine was caught late one night, with his trollies down doing the penguin walk to some gonzo porn on the family TV.

    He was right on the vinegar strokes, when his mother walks in screaming. The worst part, as he tells it, is he came all over the TV while it was showing a close up of one of the actor's rear ends ... it's bad enough to be caught red-handed, but for your mum to see you ejaculate on a screened image of another man's hairy a$$ must be hard to live with. Not the best situation for a grown man of 25.

    He moved out soon after, and relations have been frosty ever since. :(

    thats brilliant - pricless!


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    #42
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    LMFAO!!!

    Between the Flintstones thing, the "mam" game and the guy cuming just as some bloke's arse appeared on the screen and his mam seeing it... I'm all lolled out!!! :D

    I remember in Irish college, some poor little lad of 11 or 12 (the youngest there) got caught by his room-mates. They wouldn't shut up about it. Poor little fella was so upset. Those other guys were obviously just super relieved it wasn't them.

    How come nobody ever asks girls if they've been caught? (note to lots of guys: females can masturbate)

    CSG, do you've any stories to tell??


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    #43
    _blank_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    Dudess wrote:
    CSG, do you've any stories to tell??
    Do you?:rolleyes:


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    #44
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    You've lost me. What was that :rolleyes: smiley about?


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    #45
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    No I've been interupted though by a roomate coming home

    As The bollox says the most used muscle while helping yourself is your ears :)


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    #46
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Mossy Monk wrote:
    what do you say to someone after you catch them ****? It is very eerie. Kind of like half an hour of nothing then "hey what's for dinner?"
    Tee hee hee!!!
    trout wrote:
    He moved out soon after, and relations have been frosty ever since.
    Ah you're taking the piss? Thought most mothers would understand that it's perfectly healthy, but I suppose there are a few still downtrodden by their fire and brimstone upbringing.
    coolsmileygirl wrote:
    As The bollox says the most used muscle while helping yourself is your ears
    Yep, and boy did I learn that. I was idiot enough to have earphones on once so naturally I wasn't going to hear my cousin walking in.:eek: Ah well...


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    #47
    Spud83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,608 ✭✭✭Spud83


    Dudess wrote:
    Yep, and boy did I learn that. I was idiot enough to have earphones on once so naturally I wasn't going to hear my cousin walking in.:eek: Ah well...

    Is it just me or does everyone want to know what she was listening too?


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    #48
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Im a bit jealous of the females as they do not "display" as much evidence when indulging in a little bit of "gusset typing".You can do it somewhat more discreetly.

    Its much easier to crack one off, as the evidence is not so apparent.

    Its much more difficult to hide a raging boner lookin up at you like a sheeps head and ready to spud out!!!

    Ye women have it every way!!!:mad: :mad: :mad:


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    #49
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Those are all very true points, Bantam. It is indeed much easier to be subtle about it if you're female.

    alanmurphy83, good question. I remember it well. 'Twas 1993, I was 15 and I was listening to a rather noisy girl group called Babes in Toyland. Didn't have anything to do with my, ahem, recreational pursuit (although they were very feminist and stuff and would have been going on about the clitoris quite a lot, so maybe it was subliminal).

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babes_in_Toyland_%28band%29


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    #50
    Duggy747
    Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    alanmurphy83 wrote:
    Is it just me or does everyone want to know what she was listening too?

    Probably something from Barry White or Isaac Hayes, crooney bastards.

    If TV has thought me anything is that when a girl is caught masturbating by someone then an unholy, vicious session of sex breaks out with a third guy ,probably with a name like "Sir Cums-Alot!", joining in to finish the job. Much penetration ensues!


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    #51
    Spud83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,608 ✭✭✭Spud83


    Ah I just looked up dome photos of that band, and their the name is very mis leading. They are not what I would consider babes and I didn't see one toy anywhere. Anyway thanks for sharing your self pleasure music with us... I think thats a different thread though.


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    #52
    meglome
    Registered Users Posts: 7,980 ✭✭✭meglome


    Never been caught cracking one off but possibly worse I have been caught having sex a few times. When I have 17 my youngest sister walked into my room when myself and the girlfriend at the time where naked on my bed having sex. A couple of years later my uncle came in when I have having sex under the dining room table, although not naked this time. About two years years after that I was having sex on one of the dining room chairs (loved that dining room) with the girl in my lap when my mother walked in. As the girl was wearing a skirt my mother didn't notice and had a whole conversation with us. Didn't put me off in the slightest. I won't even go into the times I was nearly caught. Moved out after that, better for all concerned :) Does getting caught on the stairs of your apartment block count?


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    #53
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Holy sh1t! Do you not realise that you love getting caught?


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    #54
    meglome
    Registered Users Posts: 7,980 ✭✭✭meglome


    Dudess wrote:
    Holy sh1t! Do you not realise that you love getting caught?

    Nah I wouldn't say that I'm just horny and not afraid to take risks.


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    #55
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    An inspiration to us all! ;)


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    #56
    Spud83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,608 ✭✭✭Spud83


    meglome wrote:
    Nah I wouldn't say that I'm just horny and not afraid to take risks.

    and have no control. So basically your a normal guy.


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    #57
    meglome
    Registered Users Posts: 7,980 ✭✭✭meglome


    alanmurphy83 wrote:
    and have no control. So basically your a normal guy.

    Damn that conscienceless little fecker


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    #58
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    trout wrote:
    trollies down doing the penguin walk to some gonzo porn on the family TV.

    He was right on the vinegar strokes
    Fantastic turn of phrase, trout!
    FlutterinBantam wrote:
    "gusset typing"
    And Bantam! Perfect way of putting it!


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    #59
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Indeed.... fingers like a hummingbirds wing would be good too?


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    #60
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    grumpytrousers wrote:
    the version of the urban myth i've heard is "opened my eyes and there was a nice cup of tea by my bed"

    The version i heard as well.


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    #61
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    FlutterinBantam wrote:
    Indeed.... fingers like a hummingbirds wing would be good too?
    Indeed. Tis good for the old finger muscles.


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