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Friday Morning Quickies IV

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  • 24-08-2007 8:32am
    #1
    mickrourke
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭


    Ok, so I am actually gonna post these on Friday morning, because people seem to get so up tight about me posting em late on Thursday night and calling em Frday Morning Quickies. Well let me just say this, maybe I do post em on Friday morning and just because I'm Doctor Who or something they appear on boards.ie on Thursday night. Then again that would also explain why the jokes are so old, i got them in my time machine.
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    Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town?
    He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.

    I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom. I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming - I thought i was being attacked by a naked sky-diver!

    A woman from New York is driving through a remote part of Texas when her car breaks down. An Indian on horeseback comes along and offers her a ride. She climbs up behind him and they ride off. The trip is uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian lets out a loud Whoop. When they arrive in town, he lets her off at the gas station, yells one final, "Yahoo", and rides off. "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asks the gas station attendant. "Nothing", shugs the woman, "I just sat behind him, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn to keep me steady". "That'll explain it", says the attendant, "That Indian was riding bareback."

    Man who drop watch in toilet have sh*tty time

    Two men are in an office talking about the various gadgets they've got on their desks. "So", says one, "Do you use your Dictaphone much?". "No", replies the other, "I usually use my finger".

    When i'm not in a relationship I shave one leg, so it feels like I'm sleeping with a woman.

    Who invented break dancing?
    A guy trying to steal hubcaps off a moving car

    A man called to my door the other day and said "I can give you everlasting life, just by cleaning your carpet", I said "you're a je-hoovers witness, aren't you?"

    What happened when the old woman streaked through the flower show?
    She won first prize for best dried arrangement
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    And now in response to a number of requests I've recieved..... Goodbye


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