Indian sign language

Hagar

An Apache Indian joins the army. As he can't speak English, his friend joins with him to act as translator. After training they are sent to war and soon find themselves in the heat of battle. After a short skirmish they are separated.
The non-English speaking Indian ends up in a fox hole with three huge marines.
The first marine says to the rest, "I'm not waiting here to be killed I'm gonna try to make it back to the rest of the troops."
He then jumps out of the foxhole and starts to run across the field. He gets about fifty yards before he is cut in half by machine gun fire.
The second marine says, "I agree with him. I'm gonna try to make it back."
He jumps out of the hole and starts to run. Twenty yards out he steps on a mine and is blown to bits.
The third and largest marine says, "The hell with this I'm gonna wait here for the troops to save us."
After trying to talk to the Indian he soon realizes he doesn't speak English. Thinking Indians know sign language he again tries to communicate.
Walking his fingers across his hand he asks the Indian, "Are you in the infantry?"
The Indian just looks at him.
Then putting two fingers together and bringing down in an arc he asks, "Are you with the paratroopers?"
Still no response.
This time he puts one finger between two on the other hand and says, "Boom, boom, are you with artillery?"
Again no response.
The marine says, "I know", putting his hands over his eyes to mimic using binoculars he says, "you're with reconnaissance, right?"
With this the Indian jumps out of the hole and runs like hell. He zigzags back and forth through the field using any cover he can find till finally he makes it back to his squad.
There he finds his Indian friend.
His friend asks, "Are you crazy you could have been killed?"
The Indian replies, "My chances better in field than that foxhole! In the last foxhole, a big marine tell me, 'When troops go home and moon go down him gonna fnck me up ass till eyes bug out!'"

jobonar

Another good 1 Hagar

The Bollox

*gets into ROFLCOPTER*

brilliant! I'm still laughing