What's going wrong?!

gaeilgegrinds

Thanks Alessandra, least I don't feel like my friends are weirdos now! Ya it has become a majoe party-town now. We used to all get dolled up with the short shorts & party tops but now it's more jeans & a nice top. Fingers crossed for the future!

gaeilgegrinds

Least the guy approaching the girls at the bar is making an effort...that's the way I see it!

MattKid

A great place to be single but crap for single and looking for that special someone.

I keep meeting girls from everywhere but Galway

JohnCleary

We're still waiting on pics....

Drift

MattKid wrote:

A great place to be single but crap for single and looking for that special someone.

Nail ...... Head ....... WHACK

gaeilgegrinds

Fancy setting up a night for singletons? Might solve all the issues mentioned here?!

smackbunnybaby

gaeilgegrinds wrote:

Fancy setting up a night for singletons? Might solve all the issues mentioned here?!

sure it was already mentioned go along to the boards beers.....

soundbyte

What is it with birds always being so desperate to be in a relationship??? I have never understood that. Maybe your friends look like they're a bit desperate

Seriously though, my wife's buddies a couple of years ago went out not on the pull, but looking for long-term relationships. I don't see any fun in that. They were mid-20s at the time and to me oozed of desperation. Go out, have the craic, have a one-night stand. See someone for a while. Move on. You're only young once. It took them a couple of years to realise that.

Drift

gaeilgegrinds wrote:

Fancy setting up a night for singletons? Might solve all the issues mentioned here?!

Interesting idea. I've never been to a singles night before - I always get the impression that you'd feel under pressure but I could be way off.

Isobar

Drift wrote:

I'm the same, looking for a relationship and not a one night thing but it's not the easiest thing in the world because it appears that the women who respond well to being approached in pubs/clubs are the ones who only want a bit of fun for the night (there's nothing wrong with it, just not what I'm looking for). I wonder do the girls who are looking for a relationship somehow see themselves as above being chatted up in a pub/club. Some girls who you'd think are probably nice in life outside the pub give off a very condescending "holier than thou" attitude when guys work up some balls to go and chat to them. :mad:

Good point Drift. I find this to be the case on occasion, the numbers of girls with the "holier than thou" attitude seems to be increasing. (But maybe its me!! )

nobodythere

gaeilgegrinds wrote:

Of the six we're all teachers, doctors or solicitors...any of them hungover, not good! But thanks for the suggestion!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I like my women nieve and subservient! "Mmmm, this one is jussst right".

Cue onslaught.

Besides, lads go to nightclubs for 'teh pull4ge'

MattKid

I find girls confuse my confidence for being an Arrogant prick, or maybe it's the other way around hmm.......

gaeilgegrinds

Holier than thou as in not putting out? God I thought it went the other way these days...I dunno!!!

Drift

gaeilgegrinds wrote:

Holier than thou as in not putting out? God I thought it went the other way these days...I dunno!!!

Thats not what I meant by holier than thou ... I meant they seem to think that any guy that approaches them at a bar is only after one thing and hence not worth talking to ...

"Sure he approached me on a night out, he must only want sex"

MattKid

or they give one of those looks that says don't even think you've got a chance.

Alessandra

or maybe you are just punching above your weight?

louisecm

I think the "holier than thou" attitude is something I used to be guilty of but am trying really hard to get rid of, but to be honest it is more borne out fear than anything else. Many girls have had bad experiences and therefore find it difficult to immediately trust guys who approach them when they're out. These days I try to be as kind as I possibly can because I understand that it takes balls to go up to a girl and talk to her, but I think if you guys stay aware of where the "attitude" is coming from you will understand it and it will thaw very quickly. Tell a joke, or give her a nice compliment ( and I'm not talking about "Look at her breasts, Look!" like I got at Electric Picnic over the weekend, or "Do your pants have a mirror in them, cuz I can see myself in them." Go for the eyes or the smile, that almost always works.)

I have to say though, that since moving to Galway I have found a good few girls with a completely different mentality to what I was used to. These girls (and I know its not all of them) seem absolutely obsessed with getting a man, but are really shallow at the same time (they have to have a certain job, certain car, certain connections). I haven't been out all that much but I have found Galway men to be mostly great fun aside from a couple of college cretins.

muppetkiller

How come there are no women on that Bebo thingy ?

PopeBuckfastXVI

I think one of the biggest problems with trying to find "the one" as such in galway is that galway is a very transient city.

People tend to move here for the summer/college/a year etc. and there aren't many single, but settled people here. Which is a bummer for those of us that are single & settled!

Drift

Alessandra wrote:

or maybe you are just punching above your weight?

ALWAYS!!!!! Actually if a woman thinks she's out of my league then I'm more than happy for her to ignore me because she's clearly a stuck up tart.

louisecm wrote:

they have to have a certain job, certain car, certain connections

Yeah what you're describing there is the quintessential halo girl. I actually have most of the above but I would never tell a girl that when I'm first chatting to her for obvious reasons.

elpresdentde

if i get that attitude at all i completely lose interest straight away and i cant treat them as equals or treat them with any respect at all

gaeilgegrinds

None of my friends are stuck up but I do understand what ye mean about either, 'that look,' or the attitude women have that a man chatting her up must only be after the one thing. That said some guys are so drunk they seriously just try to kiss you within seconds, groundwork is needed!

Mighty_Mouse

26 yr old, 6ft 3' prof guy.
Better than average lookin bloke, good social skills etc
Point: Basically I reckon I'm the A-typical potential partner referred to above

Been single in Galway for last 2 yrs.
Dont want to get attacked by what follows. I know their's plenty of weirdo guys & below is all a generalisation but anyways here goes:

Here's the typical problem with girls (esp those 25 yr +)

- "hunt" for partners every night in packs whereby any member of the hunting pack has to justify any guy she fancies to the rest of the pack for discussion.
Problemo: Girls are seriously judgemental. every guy is torn apart before he gets near her.

- Guys are pretty much honest about themselves & the how good looking a girl he can pull. Guys joke, laugh it off. ..."sure look at the state of me, amn't I doing well to get any chick!"..........
Girls don't. Every girl no matter what she looks like wants & "deserves" Brad Pitt.
I mean whats the point of pulling if you cant parade the new guy in front of yer mates?

- Girls in late 20's have had time to think about their "ideal" partner.
Any bloke that doesnt tick her numerous pre-conceived "boxes" - aint got a chance.

- Girls if the dont fancy the guy - are 9/10 time dog-ignorant about it.
They dont see the point in actually talking to somebody who doesnt tick the preconceived boxes referred to above. Girls logic: "IM WASTING TIME, I NEED A PARTNER, MOVE OUTTA MY WAY BUSTER"!!!!!! (refer to ignorance point above.)
Problemo: if the girl was normal, civil, sociable, sound HONEST with the guy.
He probably wouldnt have any problems introducing her to whichever of his mates she fancies.
Girls dont operate that way.

- Girls if fancy a guy are suffocating. Usually its the fat-chick of the pack who "claims" the potential partner from accross the bar & elbows all other mates out of the way.
Problemo - the bloke actually fancied fat-chicks shy pretty friend.

- Girls never approach guys. (except fat chicks as above).
Ya gotta give something. Some sort of single. Maintain eye contact. Smile etc
Just for a couple of seconds so the bloke knows he has some chance.
I'd rarely approach a girl without the above.
Sure whats the point? The majority of girls have bf's & approaching random women is an invitation for trouble. So meet the half-way at least FFS!

- Despite the above. If 2 ppl who initially fancy actually each get talking, the conversation freaks/bores most blokes to the point of thinking "I wonder what sort of craic the lads are having?."
Single late 20's girls dont have open/gentle/funny conversations with guys they meet.
They conduct interviews. Or they get their mates to ask the dopey interview questions.
So what car do you drive?
Where do you live? Do you own yer own place?
What's yer job?
etc etc etc all natural questions but dont ask until you've made the effort to get to know a guy first.

- no sense of humour/cant even take a gentle slagging.
Even if your not the quick-witted type ie dont get it (a typical girl problem)
Just tell the guy ..."ah sure you dont even know what yer talking about........does that sort of bs usually work....."
Laugh it off,

Basically most girls I meet dont just relax and be themselves.
They put up a weird desperatly not acting desperate type bravado.
Or else are dog-ignorant..

Finally, the above can usually be found in Galways meat-markets Halo, CP's, Living Room etc etc

If girls religiously go there then what type of guys are they expecting to meet?

,8,1

Single late 20's girls dont have open/gentle/funny conversations with guys they meet.
They conduct interviews. Or they get their mates to ask the dopey interview questions.

Quite. Put bluntly, you're just another penis that's they are (or aren't) going to accept, and if you don't play nice, well, there's probably loads of other men who are willing to if given half a chance. It's a slut culture after all where the biggest ape in the jungle wins!

Basically, the sexual selection criteria and procedure that young women have in clubs etc. lends them to ending up with the ape types. That kind of narcisstic, "I'm in an MTV video" kind of thing repels men who are looking for any kind of depth in the sexual interaction.

And there are a large number of men who are just not interested in playing this game.

Which leaves you with the alpha, disposable men who are good for one night stands, which 90% of the time is what women want and satisfies them. So in a way, what's the problem?

I think most girls these days only enter "interest" mode when they are in their 30s. It's kind of a psychological barrier. The 20s are for hedonistic screwing around, 30s are for getting married.

I think the "holier than thou" attitude is something I used to be guilty of but am trying really hard to get rid of

Confirmation of above, somewhat. A learned sexual behaviour of being aloof, and in response (for many males) a learned sexual behaviour of not bothering.

Many girls have had bad experiences and therefore find it difficult to immediately trust guys who approach them when they're out.

Dealing with extreme indifference is a bad experience in itself too you know.

PixelTrawler

The following survey might help next time ye r out

IF WOMEN DRINK THESE DRINKS IN A PUB ... (NOT AT HOME)

BEER
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink.

WATER
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don’t.

WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in.

SPIRITS SUCH AS CC, WILD TURKEY, SOUTHERN COMFORT
Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!
Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually – you’re in!

CAPE VELVET
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, COWBOYS, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait......

SPIRITS SUCH AS JACKS, BEAM & BUNDY
Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard
Approach: Keep buying them drinks, they’ll think you’re a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work out how to get you to bed!



IF MEN DRINK in a PUB.. (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

CIDER
He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He’s poor / student and wants to get laid.

CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

IMPORTED BEER
He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.

WINE
He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT
Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKY/JACK DANIELS
He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JIM BEAM
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

Alessandra

Drift wrote:

ALWAYS!!!!! Actually if a woman thinks she's out of my league then I'm more than happy for her to ignore me because she's clearly a stuck up tart.

Might be true.. but what if you are just not her type (she is just not attracted to you?). Do you have the right to make a move on any woman in a pub/nightclub? I actually know of people who don't go out just to meet men.



As for the drinks chart Joebloggs, that is a load of rubbish! Does anyone stick to the same drink all the time? Male or female? How can you jsuge someone by what they drink... Some nights I'll have a cola, others a jd, others a tequila etc.

Although I agree a man drinking an alcopop is pretty conspicuous.

padi89

Alessandra wrote:

As for the drinks chart Joebloggs, that is a load of rubbish! Does anyone stick to the same drink all the time? Male or female? How can you jsuge someone by what they drink..

Ermmmm.......i think its a joke.

MattKid

I tend to go out to have fun, I often go out by myself (due to not knowing many people) and my main criteria when approaching anyone, male or female to chat to is that they look interesting. If I see a girl I'm physically attracted to and my agenda whilst still honourable, is to make more of a connection, I still want to find out quckily that she isn't dull. Sometimes you find they've got an interesting personalitly in the way they blow you off, and you have to give them props for that and making some kind of effort! Hell I'm not going to take it to heart, they're not rejecting me personally (they've known me for 5 secs), they are probably rejecting the 32nd guy to approach them that night or something like that.

Drift

Alessandra wrote:

Might be true.. but what if you are just not her type (she is just not attracted to you?). Do you have the right to make a move on any woman in a pub/nightclub? I actually know of people who don't go out just to meet men.

I'd count making a move as actually trying to get a kiss which I very rarely do and need extensive signalling and hinting from a girl before I do! I don't count striking up a conversation as making a move and I think some girls do. Why not see the conversation as merely the same type of ****e talk and having the craic that you have with your friends? There are plenty of ways to let a guy know you're not interested without being totally rude.

Do you think that any guy who talks to you in a pub is "Making a move" because it seems that a lot of girls think the minute you open your mouth ... "Oh here's another pervert who wants me in the sack. I'll just act like a bitch so he knows he can't have me." Why not think - "Here's another randomer. I'm not at all interested in him, but sure why not say a few words and have a bit of craic before I give him a polite brush off." There are girls who do this and being knocked back by them doesn't feel at all bad you just think to yourself that she was a nice girl and what a pity you didn't hit it off.

I understand though that it must be really annoying being approached when you're with a group of friends and you want to just spend the night talking to them ... thats why I made my earlier comment about girls in big groups. Its really hard to know when girls want to be approached and when they don't, think of how handy it would be if things had developed different socially and girls did all the chasing while guys just sat there and waited for them to arrive!! The few times I've been in the states it seems to be more of a 50/50 thing, girls will go and chat to guys. In Ireland it seems to be 90-95% guys doing the chatting up. ....... its a girls world no matter what anyone tells you

gaeilgegrinds

I apologise profusely for the abysmal behaviour of many of my female counterparts, many of them sound like bitches. I've never acted like that but that might explain why I'm in a very happy relationship. Feel so sorry for ye guys now.