Songwriting

Cullen82

Hi

Been playing guitar for years now but only started writing songs recently-anyone plkease have a listen to this its a very rough draft of a song i wrote

Cheers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7swRv14Ou8U

Cullen82

C'mon guys-anyone care to comment??The song is called the real hero you can prob guess by the video what its about!



Whats your idea of a hero, is it the next man that saves the world
Whats your idea of a hero, Ill tell you mine

A hero is a man who can stand on his feet
Aleviate the problems that have faced his family
A hero hides the hurt and the pain while he grieves
He helps me understand about the worth of living


Now whats your idea of a hero, Ive told you mine please tell me yours
I've been following his shadows, trying to find what makes him so good

I follow in his footsteps everyday
I eat and drink and talk and think,before i sleep i pray
I know him inside out, I know his bad, I know his good
Im thankfull that my hero makes my very flesh and blood

My idea of a hero ,my theory that im clear on
I've been aleviating problems,and wondering what caused them (more) (

bright

I think this song is a nice sentiment, and is quite well put together. But I did find it a bit linear, the melody line doesn't vary and there is no real hook. While I understand the addition of a bridge may diminish the power of a snapshot type song like this, It is a tough one to call.

It's a good song though IMHO.

Cullen82

Thanks a million bright-

Im well aware of the lack of melody in the hero song but to be honest that was part of what I wanted it to be--its part of some deep thoughts of my own but not necessarily happy ones...I suppose the darkness of the melody that is there is because I wanted this to come across.

BUT how about this one-its called 'comfort' and about a mate of mine who was going through a very bad patch with his g/f?Ive tried to have it sound uplifting but most of all for the lyrics to be helpful and relevant to him



Stop tryna figure out what shes thinking of
My friend it wont do you any good you'll never work her out
Give her some time give her some space to move about
And try to get on with things ,Wait till she comes around

You look broken, Im so sorry, hey my friend I understand
Please stand up now, hold your head high,dont you stop just be a man
We'll be with you , right beside you,dont you worry we'll help you out
Nothing comforts,like we comfort , the soulful comfort , comfort of a friend

You've placed all your trust, in place you know so well
now you feel like you've lost & you fear that this might be the end
Theres no time for crying , theres no time for moping around
These times might be trying but I know you can both work it out (more)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccGRVN8GgbE