Any good "I was stopped by a Garda" stories?

Anan1

patrickc2006 wrote:

how do you remember threads from so far back anan?

I don't - there's a search tool at the top of the page.;)

Seth Brundle

I was driving home from a christmas party in the Green Isle about 3 years ago. It was about 1 or 2am and the Fonthill Rd was empty so I made decent use of it (~60-70mph). Got to the N4 and kept the car at about 80mph. When I got to Leixlip, I was waiting at the lights when a transit pulled up behind me and flashed his blue lights, so I pulled over.
One garda sat inside reading the paper while the driver got out and told me that I "was going a bit fast there". He asked me the usuals (where was I going, where was I coming from, was I drinking, etc.)
He asked what my hurry was and the only thing I could think of was "I'm dying for a pi$$". The garda just laughed and told me to go on & slow down.

MarkN

Car Mad wrote:

I stopd sideways in front of a garda check point before

Lads, I dunno about the rest of you but I'm very impressed. Are the rest of you impressed? Cause I am.

Now, if only it really had happened

It BeeMee

I was mooching around Dublin city centre one night around 11 (up from the sticks on a great adventure), and I got kinda lost. So I was driving slowly, trying to spot street names or something to give me a bearing.
Next thing, blue lights in the mirror, motorbike pulls me up.
"Evening sir, you're driving a bit erraticly"
"Sorry about that, trying to figure out where I am".
"Is this your car?"
"No, it's my Dad's"
"Name?"
"Joe Bloggs"
Goes back to bike to radio in, returns.
"Sorry, this car isn't registered to a Joe Bloggs"
Cue internal panic, wtf is going on? was this car stolen or something?
"I'm going to have to bring you to the station"
Oh shyt sshyt shyt shyt what am I gonna do?
Pause: "Who is Mary Bloggs?"
"Oh, that's my mother"
"I thought so.....<grin> "
Gave me directions and sent me on my way.....

Owen

Mate of mine was stopped by a Motorbike Gard, and his opening line to the Gard was "Do you know you look like one of the Village People?". Priceless!

wingnut

In my early driving days was stopped by detectives in an unmarked car for running a red light. He asked me why I said I had no excuse (I still don't know why but I didn't see it, built up area at night). He asked me a few questions and asked where I worked. When I told him where I worked he said I was in luck, his niece attends there. Told me to be careful and left me on my way.

Any dealing I had with the guards personally they have always been professional and courteous.

mikemac

dak wrote:

When we lived in the UK a few years ago a work colleague of my wife told this story about a friend of his who was in the army. Gang of lads were on their way back to the barracks near sheffield after a night on the town - entrance to the barracks was off an exit on a roundabout. The driver , a bit worse for wear missed the exit and went round again. Second time he also missed his exit yet again. On the 3rd attempt he missed it again, stopped and started to reverse back. Loud bang and a car had crashed into them.

By chance cops came on the scene a minute later. Army driver stayed in his jeep and wondered why the cops were taking so long talking to the other driver. A minute later the policeman came over to jeep and seeing no damage to the jeep said " carry on lads...the bloke in the other you is so pissed he thinks you reversed into him"

I've heard that story countless times and it's been adapted to lots of different towns. Your friend was only having a laugh with you, it's a bit of an urban myth at this stage.
Although similar accidents could have happened

dak

micmclo wrote:

I've heard that story countless times and it's been adapted to lots of different towns. Your friend was only having a laugh with you, it's a bit of an urban myth at this stage.
Although similar accidents could have happened

Still worth telling !

mikemac

Definitly Dak, it's a good story

ambro25

I've had 3rd degree from a couple of undercovers (well, non-uniformed) in Dub.
Me pootles along at 30-35 (mph) on a Saturday early afternoon, beautiful early September sunny day, in convert' with top down.
Out of Rathfarnham Castle CP comes that red Ford, with siren, as I've just passed it - pull up alongside me at red lights before yellow house pub, window winds down, and the cop waves badge...

Cop: "You were going a bit fast back there, weren't you?" (back there = 100 yards max, on run up to lights :rolleyes:)
Me: "No officer, I was slowing down for the lights"
Cop: "right, pull over in front of us after the light" (= smack in front of Yellow House pub, on left lane going straight towards Nutgrove = traffic nightmare... but hey, wtf, doing as I'm told)
Cop parks behind me, both cops come out, me stays in car.
Cop:"this your car?"
Me: "No officer, it's my wife's" (on UK plates at the time)
Cop: "Paperwork/License/etc."
Me complies (my license's French - I can witness utter confusion beginning )
Cop: "So why were you speeding?"
Me: " I was not, Officer"
Cop: "We saw you, we had to accelerate to 60 mph to catch you!" (as stated, there's about 100 yards between the CP exit and the lights outside Rathfarnham castle, so, yeah, whatever... :rolleyes: )
Me: "I was not speeding Officer, the lights were changing to red and I was braking to a stop"

At this stage, both cops' body language and speech become frankly hostile.

Cop: "Do you live here? Where do you live here?" Me provides address, etc. His partner is looking at my FR driving license so close, his nose is nearly touching it (no exaggeration!).

Cop lectures me about VRT/reregistration,etc. - Me informs him that doesn't apply as it's my wife's and she's not a resident (she was visiting at the time)

Then other cop lectures me about the fact that I must change my driving license if I live here, as it's invalid - Me informs him of relevant EU Statutes about the matter and confirm that no, I don't have to change my license ever.

At this stage, I have had enough and I is getting a tad p*ssed

Me: "Right, you've alleged that I was speeding when I was not, you don't have any equipment to measure or verify what speed I was driving at, so can I have your IDs and badge numbers please?"
Cop#2 (not heard from him yet): "Look mister, there's no need to get agitated, you should calm down"
Me: "I'm perfectly calm, but I'm a bit worried firstly about the traffic obstruction we're causing as I don't fancy someone rear-ending your car into mine and secondly about the manner in which you're handling this, as you're trying to intimidate me and I'm not happy about it - so can I see both your IDs and have your badge numbers please?"

Cops mumble to one another, then cop#1 tells me to be on my way and "watch the speed".

Me: "Yes officer, thank you and goodbye".

The above said, I have also experienced a nice biker Guard, who once stopped me as I wasn't belted up. My daughter was somewhat distressed in her car seat just minutes earlier in a tailback, and I'd just forgotten to belt back up (I blame the skyrocketing blood pressure), and he just waved me on.

BnA

I would estimate the average age of the posters in this thread is about... hmmmm 15.... Maybe .... 16 at a push

Spud83

wingnut wrote:

In my early driving days was stopped by detectives in an unmarked car for running a red light. He asked me why I said I had no excuse (I still don't know why but I didn't see it, built up area at night). He asked me a few questions and asked where I worked. When I told him where I worked he said I was in luck, his niece attends there. Told me to be careful and left me on my way.

Any dealing I had with the guards personally they have always been professional and courteous.

I dont know if I would call it professinal to let you off breaking the law because you work in the same place his niece attends.

seamus

ambro25 wrote:

Cop lectures me about VRT/reregistration,etc. - Me informs him that doesn't apply as it's my wife's and she's not a resident (she was visiting at the time)

For reference, if you're resident here, you're not permitted to drive a car that hasn't had VRT paid on it, regardless of who owns it or where it came from. The Garda could very easily have contacted Revenue to lift the vehicle.

Can't say I've any funny Garda stories, I don't get stopped very often.

I did get stopped one Monday night though just soon after they'd brought in random breath testing. The Garda told me what to do, gives me the yoke and I blow into it.
"Err" comes up.
She looks at it, "Gah, it's been doing that all night, give it another go".
I try again, "Err".
She looks at me funny. "You're not chewing gum or anything are you?". "Nope".
"OK, try it again."
"Err".
"Ah here, you're grand, go on"

As I'm driving off, I just hear "SERGEANT!!" being screamed out behind me. I found out later on from a Garda mate that the Garda had just forgotten to reset the thing
God bless 'em, it had only been in for a week or so.

MR DAZ

This happened to my brother years ago...always brings a tear to my eyes..

Himself and one of friends went to a wolf tones gig that was on near clady(Tyrone)

They were driving a citroen ..think it was a saxo... anyways the passenger window didnt work... it was electric..but once down it wouldnt go back up.


So the two lads stop for curry in ballboefay on the way home to Glenfin...


PAssenger is well drunk eating his curry ..puts down window ..cant get it back up....so he pulls out a balaclava(check spelling) and puts in on...and continues to eat curry through front of mask.


A mile down the road there is a young garda doing a checkpoint ...its around 2.30am


Brother stops the car.......Garda shines light in...see passenger.....then starts stuttering and apoligies for stopping them.......then waves them on...

ambro25

seamus wrote:

For reference, if you're resident here, you're not permitted to drive a car that hasn't had VRT paid on it, regardless of who owns it or where it came from. The Garda could very easily have contacted Revenue to lift the vehicle.

I'm comprehensively aware of VRT legislation and have gone through the registration process (as & when required, not at other times when it's not). Pit your legal brains against mine and whatnot. But it's not the purpose of the thread, so please let's not go there.

On with the show...

dak

BnA wrote:

I would estimate the average age of the posters in this thread is about... hmmmm 15.... Maybe .... 16 at a push

Don't give up your day job....I take that average a way up!

DO0GLE

Heard this story before which happened years and years ago in Dublin and supposed to be true.

This fella finished work one friday and went straight to the pub after work. Ended up getting hammered and driving home after the pub when he got stopped by the guards. The drunk fella thought to himself that he may aswell accept that he had been caught...it was clear that he had too much to drink and that there was no point in denying it.

Guard: Have you had much to drink?
Drunk: Yes guard, I had about 9 pints and 6 half ones.
Guard: Ok sir, will you blow into this bag please.
Drunk: Why....do you not believe me!!

Dave!

MR DAZ wrote:

This happened to my brother years ago...always brings a tear to my eyes..

Himself and one of friends went to a wolf tones gig that was on near clady(Tyrone)

They were driving a citroen ..think it was a saxo... anyways the passenger window didnt work... it was electric..but once down it wouldnt go back up.


So the two lads stop for curry in ballboefay on the way home to Glenfin...


PAssenger is well drunk eating his curry ..puts down window ..cant get it back up....so he pulls out a balaclava(check spelling) and puts in on...and continues to eat curry through front of mask.


A mile down the road there is a young garda doing a checkpoint ...its around 2.30am


Brother stops the car.......Garda shines light in...see passenger.....then starts stuttering and apoligies for stopping them.......then waves them on...

hahaha! I'd say the Garda nearly sh*t himself when he saw yer man

Probably waiting to hear about a terrorist attack the next morning!

edit:

On second thoughts, comin back from a Wolfe Tones gig, and happen to have a balaclava in the car! I'll bet the boot was full of armalites, wasn't it?

Esel

DaveMcG wrote:

On second thoughts, comin back from a Wolfe Tones gig, and happen to have a balaclava in the car! I'll bet the boot was full of armalites, wasn't it?

Nah, I'd bet they dropped them off on the way to the gig. :eek:

MR DAZ

Ah Now no need for that....


Actually i dunno where the balaclava came from.... but it was funny none the less.

jaybo1

Happened a few years ago..

Pulled out into the bus lane about fifty yards before i have to turn left to my apartments.... Garda on bike ahead.... oh no couldnt see him...stops me.

Guard: Your in the bus lane
Me: I Know sorry I was just turning left here..
Guard: The bus lane is still operational to this poiont
Me: i know im sorry
Guard: Where you from
Me: Mayo.
Guard: What part etc
Bit of banter here....blah blah
(we are starting to get along and build up a rapport...i think)
Guard: are you working or are you a student?
Me: (thinking to myself what an odd question and how to answer it)
Errr. (i decide to go with the truth).... Im working
Guard: Then youll have no problem paying the fine so he says with a grin...as he proceeds to write the ticket.
There is a delay/pause as he is writing stuff down.
Me: What if id said i was a student?
Guard: Ah youd have still got the fine, I hate students.
Me: Oh. Ok.


On Another occasion i was in a bus lane and there was a line of cars in front of me al being stopped. JAm packed at lights. no way of getting out of it. Pulled the car onto the pavement and put the hazards on. Opened the bonnet..As i got out i clicked the immobilizer on the car. Started looking quizzically at the engine and shaking the head. Guard approches and says what are you doing? I say the car was cutting out so i pulled onto the pavement to be out of the way of traffic. I get into the car and turn the key. The engine turns over but doesnt catch. He moves down further to the guy behind me. I wait a while and turn the immobilizer off. Go under the bonnet again and make random gestures and poke random parts of the engine. Get back in and hey presto car starts. Get out close bonnet. Indicate to move off. Guard comes back up. "So you got it started then?" "Yeah" I say. He looks at me. Its like we BOTH know whats just happened. Its a long look. "OK" he says, and makes a path for me to get into the right lane. He walks back past the window one last time. "Very tempermental those" he says looking at the car.

He knew.

gurramok

How about this one from Mrs G when caught speeding in the bus lane just before a Tesco.
Garda - you know your not suppose to be in the bus lane and secondly you were speeding.
Mrs G -Sorry guard, i'm in agony here(now starting on a moany rant), the pains are killing me, i'm smelly underneath and feel blood coming out, i'm trying to reach tesco over there asap to get pantyliners, do i stink?
Garda(with shock on his face) - Ok then, i'll let you away with it this time, don't let me catch you again!
Mrs G - ok guard, us women have it tough, thanks very much
Garda - on your way mam.

She got away with 80 euro fine and a few points!

veXual

Friend and myself were stopped by a Garda once, my friend was driving. The man doesn't drink at all but is a little off the wall but sound.

So we were in the pub and the lads were doing a collection for a sponsored charity cycle they were doing afterwards we said we'd head for home and count what was collected. I said I'd travel with my friend so we headed for the car. Friend sits into the car starts talking and heads for home, now he's still struggling to put on his seatbelt as we round the corner of a one way street only to see a Garda. Friend begins to panic (why I'll never know!) I tell him to calm down there's nothing to get excited about. Garda beckons him to stop and here's the conversation that ensues..

Friend rolls down window and before Garda says anything utters:

Friend: " ah well me and the lads are just heading home from the pub we were doing a collection for the cycle"

Garda: "Eh right so, I seen you were struggling with the seatbelt there?"

Friend "No no had it on hahahahaha"

Garda looks perplexed at this stage and proceeds to walk across to check the tax and insurance. Upon doing this my mate thinks the Garda is finished with us and tries to drive off nudging the Garda in the process. He half lands on the bonnet in front of me and gives me the most angry look in the world!

(Friend buzzes down my window) "Oh sorry the handbrake slipped!"

So he decides to pull out the breathalyser tells my friend to blow into it and when it reads 0 cant believe whats happening.

Garda " Eh I suppose you can head on lads"

Friend "Aye its alright I don't f*****g drink anyway and takes off at 8 million miles an hour"

Jaysus I nearly died of shame.

Dave!

Bloody panic stations, lol!

Manic Moran

I recall one day driving down by the Four-Courts towards the river, and was taking the bus lane. One of those 'operates between certain hours' dealios.

Well, there's a Garda down the end of the road, and he flags me down.

"You know you shouldn't be driving down the bus lane?"

As I'm looking up out of the car, directly over his shoulder I see the sign saying "Bus lane Mon-Fri 3-5pm" (Or whatever)

"Umm.. Bus lane's not operating, see there's a sign over your shoulder there"
(Garda doesn't turn around)

"Uh.. right, so. Don't do it again. Off you go"

______

One morning at stupid-O'Clock, I had a package to pick up at the post office. Went in, picked up the package (It's still dark out, like 05:30), and sat back in the car, in the parking lot. I then proceeded to open my package to inspect the contents: I had ordered several scores of tiny model tanks for wargaming, they all came in little plastic baggies. God knows what it looked like from outside with the dome light on.
I see movement out the corner of my eye, and look up, seeing this Garda staring in the car at me. Check the mirror, and a car's parked itself behind me, blocking. The guy had to check the tanks himself, he didn't believe me.
_______

Try driving up to a checkpoint in a left-hand-drive car. Causes all sorts of confusion.
_______

Best I've seen on video:

Trooper: "I'm going to have to give you a ticket, Miss"
Female driver: "I thought you didn't give tickets to good-looking women?"
Trooper: "We don't. Sign here"
_______

Best I've heard from a friend, but unconfirmed:

Pulled over: Trooper comes up to window.
Driver waves his hand a little bit, and says "These are not the droids you are looking for"
Trooper just falls apart laughing and sends him on his way.

In fairness, I've been kindof lucky. I've been stopped a number of times around here, haven't been ticketed yet. I think the military stickers on the car are helping.

NTM

ambro25

Manic Moran wrote:

Best I've seen on video:

Trooper: "I'm going to have to give you a ticket, Miss"
Female driver: "I thought you didn't give tickets to good-looking women?"
Trooper: "We don't. Sign here"

PMSL, Rep+1 @ Trooper

Rovi

This is second hand at best, so it's resemblance to reality may be tenuous:

A friend of mine tells of the time years ago when his then girlfriend was driving her Fiesta/Micra/whatever through some suburb of south Dublin when she was chased down and pulled over by a Garda motorcyclist. He showed her her alleged speed on the radar gun and proceeded to give her the 10 minute 'delaying' lecture: What's your name, where are you going, where are you coming from, what's the big hurry, do you not realise, will you ever think of the children, etc, etc?
Anyhow, she acted suitably chastened so he finished up the lecture with the old "I'll let you off this time, but don't let me catch you again. Off you go."
Away she went, slowly accelerating up to 29MPH, when he came flying up behind her again lit up like a Christmas tree. She hit the brakes in a hurry, and the radar gun went flying off the roof of the car and smashed into bits on the road in front of her.
The Guard pulled up the bike beside the wreckage and waved her on her way. The last she saw of him was in her rear view mirror, gathering up the bits and putting them into one of the panniers.

mickey mac

Why do guards avoid giving their names/numbers when asked? in fact they get very defensive!
Maybe they should carry "business" cards and they can hand them out if requested.

Blazer

mickey mac wrote:

Why do guards avoid giving their names/numbers when asked? in fact they get very defensive!
Maybe they should carry "business" cards and they can hand them out if requested.

Not sure why but it's properly the hassle of dealing with a public compaint etc but they're legally required to identify themselves and produce ID if not in uniform IF they're acting in an official capacity and have disclosed they are gardai.
Remember the pub I was living in one night the alarm went off..went down to investigate and found nothing around..while closing the back door 2 scummy looking fvckers come running over so I kick the door closed. They started explaining then that they were gardai and I asked them to slip their ID badges underneath the door..we'd a great laugh about it later on

spockety

I know most of it provides a chuckle and all, but this thread really re-affirms what a piss poor unprofessional police force we have to contend with.