double-entendres on TV and Radio

patmac

Sorry if posted before, but I found this hilarious

Here are 12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator
"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning
and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator
"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator :
"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977
"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing
the cox of the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator -
"One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold Palmer] is playing so well is
that before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them
..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:

"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:

"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports

"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only
come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:

"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by
himself."

EricM

lol very good

sioda

From a Brian O Driscoll interview yesterday

Answering would he have to wear a head shield

"I wont have to wear protection sure I'll just put on a bit of vaseline and I'll be grand"

Dave!

Have some stars! Very good

wba88

Savage

445279.ie

patmac wrote:

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

Heard them all before and still laugh every time.

This is by far my favourite. Saw it on an outtake show recently and it was hilarious

Kojak

lol

GhostInTheRuins

Haha

randylonghorn

This one always makes me laugh, no matter how often I hear it:

patmac wrote:

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977
"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."

Classic, tbh

MOH

I heard this on RTE during the Dublin-Derry quarter final this year after the Brogans combined to score a point:

"Lovely tap down from his brother. I'd say they were practicing that in the bedroom for the last few years"

Mossin

Here are a couple more commentating screw-ups.


1. "Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them
serious.": (Alan Minter)

2. "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body: (Winston Bennett)

3. "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical." : (Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)

4. "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother." : (Greg Norman)

5. "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." : (Terry Venables - Soccer Coach)

6. "I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." : (Ron Atkinson - soccer coach)

7. Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field" : (Metro Radio)

8."Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer." : (David Acfield)

9. What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you stay in football?
: (Stuart Hall Radio 5 live)

10. "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
: (David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)

11. For those of you who are watching in black and white, the blue is behind the brown."
: (Ted Lowe, Snooker commentator)