What do newborns truly need?

nesf

BostonB wrote:

Think we stopped about 5 times checking was the baby ok.

For us it was when we got home with our son and stopped for a second and asked our parents "so um, what do we do now? Does he go to sleep or something?"

I don't think I was ever as nervous and powerless when I held my son for the first time, I was staring at him thinking "I've got absolutely no idea what I'm doing here."

delly

Further on from what nesf was saying, if your babies do mange to handle room temperature boppies ok, then it makes it so easy to feed while out and about. Simply have your cooled boiled bottles of water in the baby bag along with a 3 chamber powder dispenser like this, and make up in about 20 seconds. The powder dispenser goes to top of my list for must have items and you never have to worry about getting bottles heated.

nesf

delly wrote:

Further on from what nesf was saying, if your babies do mange to handle room temperature boppies ok, then it makes it so easy to feed while out and about. Simply have your cooled boiled bottles of water in the baby bag along with a 3 chamber powder dispenser like this, and make up in about 20 seconds. The powder dispenser goes to top of my list for must have items and you never have to worry about getting bottles heated.

We found the ready to use cartons of formula easier to deal with when out and about. More expensive than powder but they don't go off at room temperature and you can have a few in the nappy bag along with a bottle for emergencies etc. Getting them accustomed to warm milk will just come back to bite you if you need to give them a cold bottle when they're out of the house and feeling cranky imho. Unless you get lucky and have a kid who isn't fussy about the warmth of the bottle.

Nevyn

Newborns need to learn to sleep in a noisey house.

Seriously, the hospital is noisey enough and they sleep there.
Keeping the house quiet will only come back to bite you in the ass the they get older.
Ok I know not every baby will be happy enough to fall sleep and stay asleep as the washing machine goes through it's cycle lie my youngest did but a certain level of noise will be present later on so leave the radio on and have people talking an jr will learn to think it is normal, which lets fact it, it is.

BostonB

You can have one kid thats not bothered by noise and another that is. Some of them are bothered by the noise in the hospital. Unfortunately.

LegacyUser

Thaedydal wrote:

Newborns need to learn to sleep in a noisey house.

Seriously, the hospital is noisey enough and they sleep there.
Keeping the house quiet will only come back to bite you in the ass the they get older.
Ok I know not every baby will be happy enough to fall sleep and stay asleep as the washing machine goes through it's cycle lie my youngest did but a certain level of noise will be present later on so leave the radio on and have people talking an jr will learn to think it is normal, which lets fact it, it is.

I thought that was a myth that was dispelled??....I think we read in a book that we should treat baby sleeping as we would an older child or adult...you need to give babies the same respect...theyre no different.

Young babies main purpose at the earliest age is to put on weight and grow,if Im not mistaken...and its only when they sleep that the do grow...so sleep is a vital part of babys progress.

embee

kaiser1 wrote:

I thought that was a myth that was dispelled??....I think we read in a book that we should treat baby sleeping as we would an older child or adult...you need to give babies the same respect...theyre no different.

Young babies main purpose at the earliest age is to put on weight and grow,if Im not mistaken...and its only when they sleep that the do grow...so sleep is a vital part of babys progress.

Its not a myth at all. My daughter has been used to noise since the day she was born, and can sleep in a room with a tv/radio on, people talking etc.

On the other hand, my aunts baby was brought up in a house where, when the baby was napping, the phone was taken off the hook, all tv's/radios turned off, sign put on the doorbell saying "don't ring - baby asleep", shoes taken off indoors etc. The result now? She has a 15 month old child who won't sleep unless the house is completely quiet (fairly impossible as she lives on a main road).When they're out and about he won't sleep in his buggy. He tries to fall asleep but can't as every little noise keeps him awake. Even at night, he's up about a half a dozen times. During the day, he's narky and has turned into a complete terror.

They need to get used to noise from the get go.

nesf

kaiser1 wrote:

I thought that was a myth that was dispelled??....I think we read in a book that we should treat baby sleeping as we would an older child or adult...you need to give babies the same respect...theyre no different.

Not really, humans are creatures of habit, if your child gets used to over the first six months of absolute silence when they are sleeping they can suddenly start to require it. This is a serious issue in the real world where you can't give a child absolute silence all the time. Adults and older kids don't/shouldn't require absolute silence to be able to sleep. It's no different for a child unless you allow it to be. It's not a question of respect, it's one of practicality. The entire house can't go into silent mode every time your child needs their nap.


As embee says they need to get used to noise early. They don't need to be able to sleep through the fire alarm going off or anything but they should be able to sleep through the normal level of background noise in a house. If from day one you continue doing normal things in the background, like chatting etc while the child is asleep then they'll get used to it because they're pretty damn malleable when they're very young. If you wait till their 14/15 months then you're going to have a battle on your hands over it.

deisemum

Thaedydal wrote:

Newborns need to learn to sleep in a noisey house.

Seriously, the hospital is noisey enough and they sleep there.
Keeping the house quiet will only come back to bite you in the ass the they get older.
Ok I know not every baby will be happy enough to fall sleep and stay asleep as the washing machine goes through it's cycle lie my youngest did but a certain level of noise will be present later on so leave the radio on and have people talking an jr will learn to think it is normal, which lets fact it, it is.

Now this was something I was told about before I had my children. One of my friends used to have a very quiet house and the slightest noise used to wake her older lad, it still does and he's 16. She made sure to have some background noise for her second baby and he'd sleep through anything.

I made sure to have some background noise like having the radio on in the next room, washing machine etc and didn't have any problem with daytime sleeping, conversations etc

BostonB

While I agree you can used to something like noise if it becomes familiar to you. Thats at any age not just when you're young. I believe that some people are just better sleepers than others, and that manifests itself from the moment you are born. Some new borns will sleep through anything and some won't. They haven't had a chance to learn a "habit" yet.

lezizi

nesf wrote:

As a tip, a baby doesn't actually need a warm bottle it just doesn't have to be too hot. If you give them cold bottles and they get used to it they'll be happy out. The only potential problem is if you get a baby used to warm bottles and then they might reject cold ones.

The whole preference for hot foods and drinks is an adult thing really. To a young child it really makes little to no difference, similar to how an adult might want some salt or butter on their mashed potatoes but a child might just happily chow down on plain spuds without complaint.

Ya my son will drink it hot or cold, he loves his bottle so much he doesnt care what way you give it to him

Khannie

I'm amazed at the number of people who consider monitors essential kit. We don't have and don't want one. We leave our door slightly ajar and baby's door slightly ajar. If she wakes we'll hear her, but I don't want to hear her movement during the night.... I want to sleep thanks very much.

Honestly, she's restless at night so we moved her into her own room at around 6 weeks iirc. There really is no need for a monitor.

I always remember my friends wife telling me of deaf relations of hers....they always got a full nights sleep and their children grew up healthy and happy.

nesf

Khannie wrote:

I'm amazed at the number of people who consider monitors essential kit. We don't have and don't want one. We leave our door slightly ajar and baby's door slightly ajar. If she wakes we'll hear her, but I don't want to hear her movement during the night.... I want to sleep thanks very much.

Honestly, she's restless at night so we moved her into her own room at around 6 weeks iirc. There really is no need for a monitor.

I always remember my friends wife telling me of deaf relations of hers....they always got a full nights sleep and their children grew up healthy and happy.

Monitors are handy if you are going to be out of earshot but they are a luxury really. The ones that watch for baby movement just seem like more hassle than they are worth.

deisemum

Monitors can be useful but can have their drawbacks as well. Beware

One time when we were staying with my horrible inlaws, hubby and I were in the bedroom while I was breastfeeding our 8 week old son. I was having a moan to put it politely to hubby about mother in law constantly putting pressure on me to quit bfeeding, passing plenty of rude and horrible comments about everything I was doing. I was in tears

A few minutes later we went back to the living room only to see that the monitor was switched on and the mother in law had a face like a well slapped a*se. She didn't say anything but we knew she'd heard bits of what we'd been saying

We didn't use the monitor at night because a neighbour also had a baby and sometimes we'd hear that baby on our monitor. Also the monitors cackle a bit and that can keep the parents awake. We had baby in our room for months so we heard when they work.

Davidth88

I agree about the bottles, use room temp ! There is nothing worse that worrying about bottle temp at 4am ! Anyway in the hospital its room temp .

If you are using fromula in the hospital , take an extra bottle everytime they come round and keep them.

This will give you 24-36hrs respite from having to mix bottles when you get home, you will have enough to do without that.

The monitor debate is interesting , we do have one, very useful if you want to sit in the garden or something , if you are in a flat I can't see any reason to have one.

I agree about the babybath , we didn't use one ( the kitchen sink works pretty well ). Anyway consider how heavy one is full of water , and you have to lift/tip it up.

lezizi

Khannie wrote:

I'm amazed at the number of people who consider monitors essential kit. We don't have and don't want one. We leave our door slightly ajar and baby's door slightly ajar. If she wakes we'll hear her, but I don't want to hear her movement during the night.... I want to sleep thanks very much.

Honestly, she's restless at night so we moved her into her own room at around 6 weeks iirc. There really is no need for a monitor.

I always remember my friends wife telling me of deaf relations of hers....they always got a full nights sleep and their children grew up healthy and happy.

Ya we never use or monitor, my son snores and we wouldnt get a full night sleep if we had it on. we use to use it when he was home first from the hospital but there was alot of inteference and it just annoyed us more than anything so we turned it off.

I also took an extra bottle when they gave them out in the hospital, i knew the midwife there and she gave me a few going home aswell its great because you dont have to make bottles for the first day or two when you go home

wishingstar

a cd with soothing music helped me get my twin girls to sleep, and make sure you are well stocked up on diapers!!!!

dame

I agree with the background noise. Just let the baby sleep in his/her basket in whatever room you're in during the day. They'll be fine and you'll have a much easier time with them when they're older. I know a couple who put the alarm clock out in the hall when their babies were small so that the ticking wouldn't be disturbng them. They converted their attic a couple of years later and even now that the kids are teenagers they won't sleep upstairs if it's raining even a bit!

Also agree with room temp for bottles. Makes life much easier and the baby truly will not mind one way or the other.

We never had a baby monitor. I think that there's no need for one unless you live in a mansion and intend to tuck your kids away in the opposite wing. For the average 3-bed semi there is no need at all.

nesf

dame wrote:

We never had a baby monitor. I think that there's no need for one unless you live in a mansion and intend to tuck your kids away in the opposite wing. For the average 3-bed semi there is no need at all.

The ones with the lights showing volume are useful if you're going to be watching a film or something which would make it impossible to hear the child.

dame

nesf wrote:

The ones with the lights showing volume are useful if you're going to be watching a film or something which would make it impossible to hear the child.

If you're going to be that engrossed in a film that you can't keep an ear out then you're going to either ignore little lights on a monitor or find them very annoying. The fact is, a baby monitor is not a necessity. It is not one of those things you must have when you bring home your new baby. Besides a new baby will be sleeping in the room with you when you're watching the film, and going to the bedroom with you when you're going to bed.

nesf

dame wrote:

If you're going to be that engrossed in a film that you can't keep an ear out then you're going to either ignore little lights on a monitor or find them very annoying. The fact is, a baby monitor is not a necessity. It is not one of those things you must have when you bring home your new baby. Besides a new baby will be sleeping in the room with you when you're watching the film, and going to the bedroom with you when you're going to bed.

I don't think they are a necessity, just occasionally useful.

silja

Did you all have moses baskets/ cribs, or where did baby sleep? We want to try co-sleeping, but with twins I am not sure if they'll "fit" in the bed with us, and our bedroom isn't that big, so I am thinking of getting a co-sleeper for the first few months (they apparently also work as a pack-and-play as can be wheeled into the living room, and as a changing area), which would also be good if I end up needing a c-section and for breastfeeding. We'd then get a cot when the twins are a few months old, first just one cot where they can both sleep in, and then a second when they get bigger....

it just seems like a moses basket/ crib is a waste, especially if I also get two of those bouncy/ activity chairs so many of you here recommended, for the twins to play and rest I during the day?

deisemum

Moses baskets look nice but are not good value in the long run. I remember the midwife at the ante-natal classes telling us that they're not worth buying as you can put a baby into a cot from day 1. I used a second hand one and only used it for about 4 weeks with each of them because babies sleep with their arms outstretched.

dame

We had a moses basket, a beautilful wooden rocking cradle (loaned by friends) and a travelling cot (all in different rooms). Nice as the moses basket was, our daughter had outgrown it in six weeks and the wooden cradle was huge. It was easily the size of the biggest cot you'd see in any shop but took up double the width due to the rocking. Once she could pull herself up I was nervous of it in case she'd fall out (even though that was impossible). Also, you're better off not getting a baby into the habit of being rocked to sleep or you'll be doing it night after night for a very long time!

You can get lovely travelling cots with inserts at the top for smaller babies to save you reaching down into it for them. We used one of those and she was in the top part until nearly 4 months old, then moved down to the main part until she was almost 1 and then moved to a regular bed. A decent travelling cot is what I'd recommend to anyone. You can bring it with you when you go away and when baby outgrows it you can pack it away and store it far easier than a big wooden thing. (Our one had a night-light, played lullabies and the mattress could be set to vibrate gently, but these features were rarely used. The toy arch with detachable toys was lovely when she was older and could reach up and grab them.)

LegacyUser

The baby monitor thing...I have to say...I was a new parent when our son came along...and Ill never forget the nights of almost constant watching.

I was watching he didnt pull the blanket over his face...I was watching he didnt choke on sick...watching that he was still breathing...watching,watching,watching...I was like a zombie during the day.

the Angel cae monitor was just the ticket...it was like having someone watching him all the time...I know it sounds silly..but it was just that little source of reasurrance that everything was ok...I deffo slept better once i knew it worked.

O yeah...and for the ladies...rollercoaster.ie
Mrs Kaiser swears by it!!!!!

Nevyn

Rollercoaster is a comerial parenting site and is not just aimed at just women.
Some times I dispair the ammount of times people don't give an answer or seemed compelled to praise a site which is so awkward to navigate.

LegacyUser

Thaedydal...I wouldnt be so quick to criticize. My wife finds the chat forum very informative. Shes made a few friends from out our way through the site and even when she was feeling really bad when babog rolled off the bed the other day( i know I know)...she felt so much better by chatting with the other ladies on the site.For first time parents everyday brings something different...so its good for her to be able to talk to other people in the same position as herself.

It seems to me like its an online Mother and Baby group....

Nevyn

I have not had any experince with the chat side of the site, I didn't know that the site had a chat room.

LegacyUser

heres a funny vid.... funny cause its sooo true!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qFffq8_gis