What would you uninvent?

Pighead

If you met a good looking 2 foot tall semi naked nymph on the way home from your Wednesday night Champions League pints tonight and she offered you the chance to uninvent something, what would you choose?

Pighead would immediately choose Computer Games. No doubt about it. The thoughts of the fruit of my loins turning into a computer gamer nerdlinger sends shivers down my spine. Luckily Pighead was far too cool and hip to ever succumb to the "lure" of Dungeons and Dragons or lan parties.

Hopefully any kid of mine would also be cool enough not to hang around with geeks or dorks but just to be on the safe side an uninvention of PC Games would put my worst held fears to bed once and for all.

And with my future sons coolness assured it would also put an end to a recurring dream Pigheads been having. It goes something like this

Pighead: Hey there Zolar, how are you buddy. Looking sharp buddy, where are you off to?

Zolar: I'm heading into town dearest papa.

Pighead: Good lad, now be careful and stay clear of them fat chicks and ugly birds now won't you.

Zolar: Don't worry dad, there's not goping to be any girls where i'm going.

Pighead(getting worried now): Eh whys that son, where are you going?
Zolar: Boards Beers

At this point Pighead has a massive heart attack and dies with a single tear streaming down his perfectly chiselled handsome face.

So what would you uninvent?

Degsy

Tracksuits.

jay_haych

pornography. a bane upon society and mans #1 addiction. yet primarily unchecked.
i know so many people who are hooked on it yet its rarely seen as a problem
from www.xxxchurch.com



Pornography Industry Statistics
Size of the Industry $57.0 billion world-wide - $12.0 billion US
Adult Videos $20.0 billion
Escort Services $11.0 billion
Magazines $7.5 billion
Sex Clubs $5.0 billion
Phone Sex $4.5 billion
Cable & Pay Per View $2.5 billion
Internet $2.5 billion
CD-ROM $1.5 billion
Novelties $1.0 billion
Other $1.5 billion



Porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball, and basketball franchises.
US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, & NBC (6.2 billion).
Child pornography generates $3 billion annually.

Internet Porn Statistics
Pornographic Website's 4.2 million (12% of total website's)
Pornographic Pages 372 million
Daily Pornographic Search Engine Requests 68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
Daily Pornographics Emails 2.5 billion (8% of total emails)
Avg. Daily Pornographic Emails/User 4.5 per internet user
Monthly Pornographic downloads (Peer-to-peer) 1.5 billion (35% of all downloads)
Daily Gnutella "child pornography" requests 116 thousand
Website's offering illegal child pornography 100 thousand
Sexual solicitations of youth made in chat rooms 89%
Youths who received sexual solicitation 20%
Worldwide visitors to pornographic web sites 72 million annually


Children's Exposure to Pornography
Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography 11 years old
Largest Consumer of Internet Pornography 12-17 age group
15-17 year olds having multiple hardcore exposures 80%
8-16 year olds having viewed porn online 90% (most while doing homework)
7-17 year olds who would freely give out home address 29%
7-17 year olds who would freely give out email addresses 14%
Children's characters linked to thousands of porn links 26 (including Pokeman and Action Man)



Adult Internet Porn Statistics
Men admitting to accessing porn at work 20%
US adults who regularly visit internet porn sites 40 million
Promise Keepers men who viewed porn in the last week 53%
Christians who say porn is a major problem in the home 47%
Adults admitting to internet sexual addiction 10%
Breakdown of male/female visitors to porn sites 72% male - 28% female



Women & Pornography
13% of Women admit to accessing porn at work.
70% of women keep their cyber activities secret.
17% of all women struggle with pornography addiction.
Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, or affairs.
Women favor chat rooms 2X's more than men.
1 out of 3 visitors to adult website's are women.
9.4 million women access adult website's each month.

zuutroy

The Euro....Irish currency was deadly.... The pound coin was a legend, and the A4 sized 50 pound note was similarly awesome.

dobsdave

As I write, the thread below this is about x-factor, so I didnt really have to look very far to see what I wanted banished from the earth.
By the way all the other reality shows are included in that too, BB comedancing or whatever etc etc etc.

Pighead

Degsy wrote:

Tracksuits.

But that would mean you'd be naked all the time. Pighead would uninvent the abilty to see stuff if that was the case.

mise_me_fein

The new range of football boots that are causing the metatarsal injury to so many footballers.

dobsdave

"Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, or affairs"

All right! Gigity, Gigity.

Alanthroneus

I would univent women rights

Pighead

jay_haych wrote:

pornography. a bane upon society and mans #1 addiction. yet primarily unchecked.

Somebody ban this freak.

sioda

Teletubbies hate them

Agamemnon

I'd uninvent the current French rugby team by sterilising their parents.

Gillie

Bertie Ahern or feck it FF altogether

jobonar

Bra's ftw

KTRIC

I'd uninvent womens clothes, so they have to walk around naked all day and we can look at their wobbly bits

Pighead

KTRIC wrote:

I'd univent womens clothes, so they have to walk around naked all day and we can look at their wobbly bits

They'd just wear mens clothes ya big eejit. Pighead realises women are stupid but they're not that stupid.

faceman

Cats-eyes. The ones that are studded on roads for visibility at night. Id stick a patent on it and charge a €1 royalty per catseye put on a road in any country.

jay_haych

Pighead wrote:

Somebody ban this freak.

...Amd why is that? for having an opinion that differs to your own??

Degsy

Pighead wrote:

But that would mean you'd be naked all the time. Pighead would uninvent the abilty to see stuff if that was the case.

I would uninvent Pigheads mother and the milkman thus uninventing Pighead.

Black Swan

Uninvent this thread?:rolleyes:

Pighead

jay_haych wrote:

...Amd why is that? for having an opinion that differs to your own??

Exactly Limerick Boy, exactly. Lets cut to the chase here buddy, you don't really want porn uninvented. You've got a couple of nasty septic blisters on your todger at the moment after some rather excessive self love sessions over the past week.

Naturally you've blamed porn for your weeping willy. This time next week the blisters will have healed and you'll be back here apologising for your ridiculous request. Mark Pigheads words.

nobodythere

Plastic.

Edit: To the post above me, "they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world"
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-genius-of-the-crowd/

Mr.Plough

eamonn dunphy and john giles. fúcking idiots

cson

Hmmm, Skobies and Boy Racers are a festering disease on this countries landscape, I'd much prefer to give them the bubonic plague instead of merely uninventing them, that's just too painless. Seeing as aforementioned Skobies and Boy Racers are usually the one anyway I'd have to say I'd uninvent the wheel. As an added bonus the M-50 would become unclogged and fat chicks might lose weight from the walking they'd have to do.

Dennis the Stone

Louis Walsh

Siogfinsceal

muffin tops
and jodie marsh

sioda

sioda wrote:

Teletubbies hate them

Teletubbies hate who?


Uninvent cigs

cson

Quite surprising no-one picked up on this already but anywho, I'd uninvent YORE MA then there'd be no more stinking pighead threads clogging up the forum. There for ya.

jester77

have to cucumbers... evil wretched most foul tasting food known to man

and to think that Pepsi came out the Pepsi Ice Cucumber drink :eek: which incidentally contains absolutely no cucumber, which means someone invented a chemical that tastes like cucumber... this person should be uninvented!

Dudess

jay_haych wrote:

...Amd why is that? for having an opinion that differs to your own??

It's Pighead. I wouldn't take it seriously.

jobonar wrote:

Bra's ftw

Oh so you like the saggeh boobeh look, do you?

Degsy

cson wrote:

Quite surprising no-one picked up on this already but anywho, I'd uninvent YORE MA then there'd be no more stinking pighead threads clogging up the forum. There for ya.

I already said it only better so HA!

MOH

Religion

cson

Degsy wrote:

I already said it only better so HA!

Shut your ****ing horses mouth, you've only got ears for tractor indicators. I'd uninvent Degsys testes. The world doesn't need Degsy Juniors.

Dalfiatach

Deefers.

No, wait. Let's get to the source. I hereby uninvent Ingerlund.

No more: Deefers; chavs; X-Factor or Big Brother, Eastenders or Corrie; morons blethering on about "up the 'RA" and "800 years" while wearing ManU tops and watching Eastenders before the ManU match; Deefers; 800 years; Unionists; Shinners; Deefers; national inferiority complex and post-colonial malaise; no more FF being able to dodge responsibility for being incompetent feckin chancers by playing the "Sure FG are WestBrits, would ye rather have them in charge?" card...oh, and Deefers.

Ah. Bliss.

I'll take me chances with the old global warming if we can get rid of all that sh1te.

Terry

cson wrote:

Quite surprising no-one picked up on this already but anywho, I'd uninvent YORE MA then there'd be no more stinking pighead threads clogging up the forum. There for ya.

Allow me to tell you why nobody is pimping yore ma.
It's old. Really old. It's so old, that I put a rule in place in regards to people trying to be the first one to say it in a thread. That rule is still there.

You could say that I uninvented it.

MrJoeSoap

I'd uninvent cricket.

Degsy

Terry wrote:

Allow me to tell you why nobody is pimping yore ma.
It's old. Really old. It's so old, that I put a rule in place in regards to people trying to be the first one to say it in a thread. That rule is still there.

You could say that I uninvented it.

Well done Terence,your modly status befits you.

seamus

I wish we could uninvent bull**** statistics so that people like jay haytch wouldn't be able to post up made-up bull**** from other websites.

I'm just going to quote 3 lines which show all of that stuff to be complete bull:

Worldwide visitors to pornographic web sites 72 million annually

1 out of 3 visitors to adult website's are women.
9.4 million women access adult website's each month.

So. Every year, 112 million women access adult websites. But that's only one-third of the total vistors. So every year, porn websites get 336 million visitors. Except that it was previously claimed that the total vistors is 72 million.

Whoops...

The actual fact is that adult porn is a lucrative industry which is far more important to its users and employees than the petty writings of some church.
So get over it.

cson

Terry wrote:

Allow me to tell you why nobody is pimping yore ma.
It's old. Really old. It's so old, that I put a rule in place in regards to people trying to be the first one to say it in a thread. That rule is still there.

You could say that I uninvented it.

Ah I was only joking. In fact I stuck a thread on feedback about how "Yore Ma" was getting out of hand on AH but I got flamed out of it (perhaps a slight exaggeration...).

Anyway, at the risk of being an off-topicer I'd uninvent Gerry Ryan, and to a lesser extent 2fm.

Terry

cson wrote:

Ah I was only joking. In fact I stuck a thread on feedback about how "Yore Ma" was getting out of hand on AH but I got flamed out of it (perhaps a slight exaggeration...).

Anyway, at the risk of being an off-topicer I'd uninvent Gerry Ryan, and to a lesser extent 2fm.

You would uninvent 2fm?
So you would prefer our radio to be dominated by showbands and have the only other outlet for music be pirate radio?

Like it or not, without 2fm, it would have been many, many more years before we got to hear half decent music on the radio.

Radio Caroline was constantly being shut down.


Note: I don't listen to the radio. I'm very insular in my musical tastes, which are stuck in the early to mid 90's.

MrPudding

Football & oxygen within the environs of the "big brother house"

MrP

Degsy

Norn Iron.

biko

I'd uninvent gun powder - the reason for colonisation, slavery and America

connundrum

Dudess wrote:

Oh so you like the saggeh boobeh look, do you?

Uninvent saggeh boobehs so

Mobile phones, it was probably a happier time before them

User45701

i dont know what caused it but i would uninvent whatever person/company/idea whatever it was that made the internet popular, ive been thinkingthis more and more the last few months. The internet was better 8/10 odd years ago before all these annoying immature people invaded it

Terry

User45701 wrote:

i dont know what caused it but i would uninvent whatever person/company/idea whatever it was that made the internet popular, ive been thinkingthis more and more the last few months. The internet was better 8/10 odd years ago before all these annoying immature people invaded it

1337z0r

Degsy

biko wrote:

I'd uninvent gun powder - the reason for colonisation, slavery and America

If they hadnt got gunpowder they'd have done it with arrows,seige-engines,catapults and cold steel.Just like the Mongols,the Romans,the Egyptians,the Greeks and many others.

sioda

Tellytubbies hate everyone but I hate tellytubbies

cance

User45701 wrote:

i dont know what caused it but i would uninvent whatever person/company/idea whatever it was that made the internet popular, ive been thinkingthis more and more the last few months. The internet was better 8/10 odd years ago before all these annoying immature people invaded it

OMGAD its my internetz and i dont want to share it!!!

L31mr0d

i'd uninvent pigheads computer and replace it with the wii

gyppo

Boybands.

Girlbands too.