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  • 23-09-2007 11:14pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, Ive jsut come across this forum & thought Id post something.
    Im sure all of you have heard this a million times & are sick to death of it!!

    Im 24yrs old, male & graduated from college a year ago
    I had a girlfriend for 2years in college but for the last 3 years was single!
    I didnt want to do that to her-for something I was too scared to admit to.
    I never joing thr GLBT society at college either as I was too scared-scared to admit to myself I was gay & others! How, I reget it now.

    Thing is I can now admit to myself I am gay, but just too scared to tell my family & friends. I know some of my family will not accept it- as I know how they feel & where they stand on it!-my brother!
    But I think some of my family & friends have an inkling im gay! Recently my brother in law said to me-"so any women or men latley", you cant be still single!"-
    My flatmate keeps trying to set me up with her single female friends- & well im running out of excuses for that too!! Not so long ago I would have went on a date with them but now Im not bothered.
    Im feel that at 24yrs old, its getting harder to hide it, to make excuses, & I dont want to either, Im sick of it, I want to be able go out with my friends, be ina a nite club and not have them hound me to score with girls or set me up withsome one!!....I like people to just know & not care but I seem to think they will

    Which leads me to my next point: Im starting to avoid certain friends to avoid these situations which may comprimise my secret!!
    I am the only person still single amoungst my friends!!
    They are getting annoyed with me over not going out with them etc...

    So finally to the point:I can now admit to myself I am gay, but have no gayfriends or even been with a man!!!!
    Im unbelievablely confused & just dont know what the hell im doing anymore!
    If i jsut start telling people Im gay, will this resolve most matters
    How did most people cope with coming to terms with this or am i just over reacting??!!
    Perhaps some counselling would help me??!!

    Any words of advice/scorn appreciated!


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    #2
    WexfordMusings
    Closed Accounts Posts: 170 ✭✭WexfordMusings


    Well, when you do decide to "come out", this doesnt mean that you have to shout it from the roof tops, get on the phone and tell everyone you know straight away.

    Start by telling your best friend. If they are really your best friend, no problems there. Then tell a few more. If people start asking you dont deny it. Now for the family, thats tougher.

    Choose the best person in your family to tell, maybe an uncle, cousin or aunt, maybe your mum or dad. just ease into it. Whatever you do, dont blurt it out over the christmas dinner or something. Dont go for the shock factor, it might look good on eastenders, but its not really the best way forward.

    The way I told my 2 best friends were we went to dinner and over desseert I told them. Everything went fine from there. Anyway, good luck and dont forget to keep posting. also check out Gaire as they have good posts re this topic also.

    John


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