What are your funniest Irish sayings?

Gordon Gecko · 09-12-2012 10:24pm

"........sure look.........."

Unbeatable

MAJJ · 09-12-2012 11:50pm

Heard said after a match 'Stiffer than a gigolos mickey'

I love it!

conzy · 10-12-2012 12:47am

"All the money lost in the great war wouldn't educate you"

shell53 · 19-03-2013 9:53pm

This first one is very rude but my dad always says it so i think its funny

Taking about an easy lady.... If u shook her all the mickys would fall outta her

Every compliment about clothes is the wink and how its nice cause of the peg its on

cute hoor was reared on the foxes milk

No money... Hasnt an eye in his head

Lots of perfume make up anyone all dolled up is like a hoors handbag

crockholm · 19-03-2013 9:59pm

" You should have been bate to death with a sock full o wet sh1te"

"I'd say, she could w4nk you off with her bellybutton"- an agile young lady.

big dar · 20-03-2013 12:20am

If he fell into a bucket of tits he'd come out sucking his thumb

Gordon Gecko · 20-03-2013 12:47am

The entire text of "A long way from penny apples" Bill Cullen's masterpiece

pogiefallon · 20-03-2013 2:09am

drive her like youre late for mass
i wouldent ride ya if ya had peddals

Push Pop · 20-03-2013 7:52am

She has an arse on her like a badly fed mongrel.

shell53 · 20-03-2013 8:19am

Your that hungry u cud eat a nuns arse through the convents gates

ya b as well to go out and set fire to it at least ya wud get a bit of heat off it for something not worth a bit

Any news? Divil a bit

Not nice clothes. I wouldnt wear it to get turf

Hes a real cur for a bold fuvker

Cra thumper for very religious person

shell53 · 20-03-2013 8:21am

An once of breeding is worth a ton of feeding

Black cat black kitten

johnny_knoxvile · 20-03-2013 9:13am

a good one i heard in our time of recession was "you can't take nickers of a bare arse".

true that.

shell53 · 20-03-2013 9:39am

If he was a bar of chpcolate he wud eat himself

shell53 · 20-03-2013 9:39am

If he was a bar of chpcolate he wud eat himself

coolhull · 21-03-2013 2:03am

''He's always up chawin' the altar rails'' ......(for someone who's constantly in the church)

''**** mickey''...(when something goes wrong)

''I knew him when he had no arse in his pants''.....(when someone does well in life)

GerB40 · 15-03-2014 10:27pm

I wouldn't get up on her to get over a wall..

Never trust someone in a wheelchair who's wearing dirty shoes.

I'd prefer a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

Doesn't matter how good lookin she is, she's still carrying a pound of shíte in her..

Sir Arthur Daley · 15-03-2014 11:56pm

You couldn't beat it with a stick.

teddy_303 · 17-03-2014 6:10am

if you were any longer you'd be late.. (as in height)....

harry Bailey esq · 17-03-2014 9:06am

"she'd suck a snooker ball through a straw that one"

"he's as useful as tits on a bullock"

"the first time he seen a fanny he went looking for a plaster"

"if work was in bed he'd sleep on the floor"

"yer one has had more priks in her than a second hand dartboard"

harry Bailey esq · 17-03-2014 9:09am

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

a good one i heard in our time of recession was "you can't take nickers of a bare arse".

true that.

one of my favourites,very prevalent in Derry

Son0vagun · 17-03-2014 9:17am

"I'm not Racist but...."

blade1 · 17-03-2014 9:29am

My mother used to yell at us when we were small.....get into bed or ye'll get Hoobiganet.

Years later I only realised what it meant.
Two kids fighting..."he started it" 'no he started it' (began it')
Mother " ye'll get who began it"

I think that's wher the word came from anyway.

FairytaleGirl · 17-03-2014 9:43am

Sure theyre up licking the altar on a Sunday (religion)

You couldnt like him if he was made of chocolate!

You think I came up the *local river name' in a bubble?

She could eat an Apple through a letterbox (big teeth)

He'd go up the crack of dawn that one! (sleep with anyone)

The One Who Knocks · 17-03-2014 10:09am

Ride me sideways was another one.

ruthloss · 17-03-2014 10:25am

'If ya said ****e, he'd say sugar'

ruthloss · 17-03-2014 10:27am

Eh! I typed s h I t e.:) ****e

Bluefoam · 17-03-2014 10:30am

Sure, how would ya be well with your arse in two halves...

jojobeans · 17-03-2014 11:07am

"If he was a bar of chocolate he'd ate himself" someone who finds themselves attractive

"that ones throwing bouquets at herself"
A person who enjoys boasting

"ask the high end of me ring" "ask me fainne"
no i will not do that

"me pots are gone!"
someone who is very stressed

"you smell like a hoors handbag"
someone who has applied too much perfume/aftershave

"did you get your hole?"
Did you have sex?

"shes a right g**bag that one God forgive me"

the point of this comment is great you can insult anyone but the god forgive me part makes it ok to say

"This gaf is a pig ridden kip"

this house is quite dirty

"that c*nts so tight he squeaks when he walks"

He is a very mean person

"He'd get up on a hole in the wall"

He will sleep with anything with a heart beat

"Shes a damp yoke"

Shes will sleep with anything that has a heartbeat also.

"If she fell on the ground she'd strike oil!"

She has goofy teeth

"you got battered like a fish"

You lost the fight

"you're a bit hairy on the hole for that"

You're a bit old for that

"can i bum a straight off ye?"

Can i have one of your cigarettes?

"you're some baby"

Your a sly person

valerossi · 17-03-2014 12:03pm

"He'd sweet talk the knickers off a nun"

"He hasn't hands to wipe his arse"

"I wouldn't piss against her for shelter"

"get up for fu#k sake Jesus fell 3 times"

"Ya wouldn't score in a whore house with the winning lotto ticket"

"I'm so hungry my stomach is hanging out of my arse"

"He'd drink his piss if he could get drunk off it"

"Sure he still has his communion money"

"Now she's sucking diesel"

"Come off the cross"

"She has some neck"

"Trot mother trot foal"

"That one is like a bitch in heat"

"An irish conception" from years ago when a baby was conceived before the newborn left the parents room.