What are your funniest Irish sayings?

Mexicola

"a good kick up the brown star"

Pat the Baker

"Me mouth is as dry as a nuns fanny" For when your thirsty
"He is solid bone from the neck up" For someone who is a bit thick
"Mad as a brush with no bristles" For someone that is mad

there are loads i just do not understand so never remeber them

nice1franko

"He's about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike"

djsctt

"Jesus suffering f**k ! "

also,

"banjaxed"

cjt156

Conference call to head office in the States once;

Irish chap refers to someone not at the meeting as 'yer man, John'

Muffled response from the other end;

'...he's not MY man....'

Much shaking of Irish heads; fugging yanks...

Dyr

and lets not forget yer mans close cousins: "himself" (or "herself") and "his nibs"

fits

Will you wet the tea?

Agamemnon

Bambi wrote:

and lets not forget yer mans close cousins: "himself" (or "herself") and "his nibs"

And "yer wan".

"The lord to mercy on him"

"Thanks bit of God"

Ishmael

For people who are lucky

"If he/she/it fell in a barrel of ****e, they'd come out tasting like chocolate"

Oh and

Pebcac

philstar

what does the term a "gowl" actually mean??

Dyr

diabolical and brutal are another two that confuse de fordiners

as in "dats bleedin diabolical that is"

Siogfinsceal

'whatyamaycallit'

In answer to 'whats that?' - 'oh thats a yoke for a thing'

When asked if you have seen something thats missing : 'Is my face red? well, its not up my arse then'

'He's a piebald'

'whose takin the horse to France'?

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philstar wrote:

what does the term a "gowl" actually mean??

It means a woman's ladygarden and inner parts..

But it's a bit more crude than that.

_blank_

agamemnon wrote:

"Thanks bit of God"

Is that not "Thanks be to god"?

redtom

Yeah, its "Thanks be to god"

Another one - "Jeeny mac!" (exclamation of astonishment)


Another - "He'd annoy the hind leg off a donkey"

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redtom wrote:

"Jeeny mac!" (exclamation of astonishment)

That would be Janey Mac.

From this rhyme.

Janey Mac, me shirt is black
What'll I do for Sunday
Get into bed, cover your head
and don't get up til Monday

Apparently, this Janey was a prostitute in Dublin.

As well as Jeeney as you have posted, there is also Jaypers!

All, of course, euphemisms for Jesus, or Jaysis.

I love saying Jaysis.

Kazooie

"That'll soften his cough". (take him down a peg or two)
"Tis meltin for rain".

Agamemnon

DesF wrote:

Is that not "Thanks be to god"?

Yep, but I often hear older people pronouncing it as "Thanks bit of God", as well as pronouncing "The Lord have mercy on him" as "The Lord to mercy on him".

Americans must get really confused listening to Irish people: on a night out, we might meet a cute hoor, smoke a fag and have some craic. Makes us sound like rappers.

stcatherine

Just thought of a few more things I say that my English Husband finds annoying -

"Did ya plug out the TV" - I know I'm not the only person who says 'plug out' instead of 'unplug'

"will ya do us a favour" - I must use this one a hundred times a day and it winds him up no end, no idea why !

"ye may ...... (apply as needed) ...eg ..."Ye may turn off the TV before ya leave " - this one in particular riles a fair few english people cos they seem to think when we say 'ye may' we mean "you have my permission", when in fact it means "might I suggest that you ..... " - that's my understanding anyway !


a saying thats not Irish but I dicovered the meaning of a few years back is the origin of the saying "sweet FA", meaning Sweet Fanny Adams.
She was a little girl who was abducted and cut up into little pieces, and the saying came about because of tinned meat rations and how nasty they were.

Ciaran B

Gee Bag and Get up The Yard are 2 classics.

growler

now you're sucking diesel

hairyfairy00

' I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire'

'Hold on a minute, i'll be there in a second' Even this one made no sense to me growing up but i still use it

admiralofthefleet

for someone unlucky:

if he fell into a barrel of tits he'd come out sucking his thumb

for someone tightfisted:

if he was a ghost he would'nt give you a fright

eddiehobbs

dont think these were mentioned

tearin away like the tinkers shirt

out the gap (going home)

sick as a flight to lourdes

sick as a paedophile in a playground

sick as a busload of paedophiles

happy out

tits on a bull (meaning useless)

philstar

what does the term a "gowl" actually mean??

DesF wrote:

It means a woman's ladygarden and inner parts..

But it's a bit more crude than that.

but why is it directed at sad people??

lezizi

philstar wrote:

what does the term a "gowl" actually mean??



but why is it directed at sad people??

It is usually used in the same context as 'You C*nt'

Deliverance

Irish farmer giving directions to a tourist:
"Ya see that road up there on the right, you don't want to take that one".

keltoms

"she had a f**** like a badly packed kebab"

"shes a face like a bag of hammers"

keltoms

oh and favourite saying has to be:

"cudnt hit a cows arse with a banjo!"

ha!

walrusgumble

couldn't score in a whore house, even if their hands were tied

couldn't manage a p&ss up in a brewery

if he had brains he would be dangerous

(in rudely stopping someone always asking "what if....") ah if my aunt had balls she would be my uncle

she/he is so ugly, that when she/he was born the doctor had to slap their mother.

genie mac

she was so fat the light bulb burned my arse (when getting down and dirty with a big girl)

when she bent down we saw the moon (again referring to a big girl)

if you fall off that wall dont come running to me (mothers sayings)