What are your funniest Irish sayings?

Shan75

Steamer(Gay)

State a dat

cjt156

My brother's english wife asked my mother if she could help in the kitchen.

"You may put the delph in the press"
Confused look.
Her husband "just put the plates in the cupboard"

_blank_

philstar wrote:

but why is it directed at sad people??

In my experience, it isn't.

lezizi wrote:

It is usually used in the same context as 'You C*nt'

I don't think it's as bad as cúnt tbh.

You gowl.

You gowlbag.

Shut your gowl.

Shan75

Another good one is "Go way you handicap" which only works in a dodgy Limerick accent.

homerjay2005

for some reason, when me an me mate were working in england a few years ago, the girls where we worked all loved it when we said "thats f**king cu*t-ish". no idea but they laughed everytime we said it.

Poxyshamrock

Shan75 wrote:

Another good one is "Go way you handicap" which only works in a dodgy Limerick accent.

haha lovin' it!
you can't beat limerick slang!

anyway back OT

Whisht - quiet or something goods gonna happen
Divil a bit - none...ususally used with "news"

Hagar

As handy as a chocolate teapot

As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike

Wouldn't get a kick in a stampede
Wouldn't get a kick in a horse-box

It BeeMee

About someone thin:
"more meat on a tinker's stick after a row"
"more meat on a butcher's apron"


One I heard recently:
"as dry as a stripper's tit"

philstar

but why is it directed at sad people??

DesF wrote:

In my experience, it isn't.

I don't think it's as bad as cúnt tbh.

You gowl.

You gowlbag.

Shut your gowl.

but it is isn't it??...."yer man is an awful gowl" i.e. sad bastard...yes??

Pat the Baker

ive been going around saying gowl the last few days, people are looking at me funny.

The Don

I'd put my PTO shaft in her.

You'd get drunk on a barmans fart.

Now we're suckin diesel.

What'ar ya ramblin on about?

Holy mother a jasus.

She's like a round bale. (Used to describe a woman of wide girth).

The head on you and the price of spuds

Smell the dead men off that. (Referring to your fist before you get into a fight).

ibh

My favourite for when u wake up with a hangover. "Jaysus, it tastes like a dog sh!t in me mouth"....
Another favourite for when someone is drunk, "full as a gypsys bra"!!!!
Probably not supposed to write stuff like that.. Ah well...

Black Swan

What the craic?!

PaulieBeef

Farting:
Better out than a man's eye
No matter how happy they are goin' in, they're always grumblin' comin' out

Egotistic:
You've got tickets on yourself

Dodgy people:
Quiet pigs hoke
Long runs the fox but they're always caught in the end

Others:
Do I look like I came down the (insert local river) in a banana boat?
Fien (fella)
Beure (girl)
That's gas
Chrisht on a bike and Moses in the sidecar!
Mong (idiot/fool)

ibh

Get up them stairs, or i'll sell the bed!!! Said to the missus when it's time for getting down and dirty!!!!

_blank_

philstar wrote:

but it is isn't it??...."yer man is an awful gowl" i.e. sad bastard...yes??

Ah right, I thought you meant sad as in crying sad.

Yeah, I suppose.

The word isn't as strong as cúnt, but still, gowl, in your context, means a sad bastard, but maybe with a bit of a nasty streak.

But, I've been called a gowl when I didn't end up with a woman one night.

I was chatting to a girl, looked like it was going well.

Nothing happened, and i went back over to my friends.

"Well Des, did you get her number"
"nah"
"What?! What happened"
"Ah nothing really"
"Ye gowl ye"

So Glad

"She had a fanny like a wizard's sleeve!"

:O

Latchy

'' Ah ,,,,,,, is it yourself '' ?

(say that to an englishman and watch his exprssion )

Parsley

Some Limerick ones:

Daycent (class)
Tellinaaa
Ahboy de kiiid
Pyuuuurre.

Parsley

agamemnon wrote:

And "yer wan".

"The lord have mercy on him"

"Thanks be to God"

Fixed

salonfire

Shut your hole! - Telling someone to be quiet

croucher

one for tightness....

the fecking queen would come to the opening of your wallet !!!


Heard an aul lad at a match saying this one day when a forward skillfully got around a defender... "ah jaysus, look at that, he just sent yer man out for the Herald"... thought it was a classic

quackquackBOOM

hes a fu(kin fairy

aww here would u looka dat

what in the namea

i dont have a solution but i do admire the problem

shes the town bike

how ya goorjus

sure his/hers eyes are nearly bleeding (reffering to bloodshot eyes on a hungover person)

whassupp2

Football sayings:

Player misses point:

"He wouldnt score in a whorehouse with his pants down"

Advice from manager to defenders:

"Follow that forward everywhere. If he goes for a piss during the game you follow him and shake it for him".

"Opinions are like arseholes...........everyone has one":D

mathew

As happy as a pig in sh1te!

gurramok

some from the ghetto

"bleein hell"

"ya made a hames outta that!"

"get outta that garden!"

"feck off"

"not taking the flak for this"

"thingy majig" - trying to describe something

"ninconpoop", "pleb", "cretin" - somebody stupid

"not on me nelly"

"mé féiner" - selfish

"on the gargle?"

"need some grub"

"going to the bog"

"dead-on"

"she has a face that could sink a thousand ships!" - describing angry face on a girl

gurramok

More
About garglers...

"he was plastered"
"on the lash"
"bloody stocious"

some general stuff including the obvious..

"bleein scarlet"

"ya make a holy show of yerself"

"water off a ducks arse"

"a scut" - up to no good

"i'm goin for a p155"

"starvin marvin"

"ya takin the biscuit!"

"that was jammy!" - a fluke

"a gollier" - a spit

"earwiggin"

"nosey parker"

"i'm banjaxed"

"it couldn't guard a fire!" - talking about a dog

"giz a bunt will ya"

and lastly..

"going for a dump"

Funniest which was mentioned in a few posts, its still class and i use meself....has been:
"Amn't I right?" - always confuses non-dubs

Off to me leaba,hitting da sack now

greglo23

Heard at a Cork Celtic match in The Box many years ago when a forward missed a Sitter
Go way ya Ham !
He's not a Ham ! You can cure a Ham !!

The best insult ever must be ; He's as thick as the back o me bollix that never saw anything but ****e !

luckat

Of a dishonest person:

If he et a nail he'd shít a screw.

entropi

Remembered a few inspired by variations already here

The fúcking flute - The effin muppet

Out of your trolley
Out of your tree - heavily drunk

Pissin blood - someone who got the shíte knocked out of them

"See the Mooney's" ! { an old one from Blanchardstown, to which people would reply "See the welfare" ! } one i never really understood as i'm a townie

steamball/queerball/rentboy - all ways of saying some bloke is gay

Sweatin like a rapist in a playground/priest near an altar boy - dripping with sweat

Oh and saying to foreigners something is deadly, and explaining how that's a good thing

I'm sure there are tonnes of other ones which would be only used and understood by locals of an area in Ireland and confuse others from 20 mins away but not sure it's worth placing them up here.