What are your funniest Irish sayings?

mathew

Bored out of your tree

Breaking your sh1t laughing

Overheal

"No, you're not that pretty; but a holes a hole"

nice1franko

mathew wrote:

Bored out of your tree

Breaking your sh1t laughing

haha when you think about it, "breaking your ****e laughing" is a bit mental alright. visualise it, people.

bronte

yep...I always thought that was a bit.... disgusting!!!!

zildjian1

Sweatin like a paedophile in a barney suit...

or

one of my personal favourites...

Sweating like a christian brother

admiralofthefleet

in work tonight one of the older regular men said to the lounge boy : 'get into the back of me van and ill scuttle the brenda fricker off ye'. never heard 'brenda fricker' before. class

Takeshi_Kovacs

Sofaspud wrote:

"a face like a melted wheelie bin".

hehe nice one

a few more..
she had a face like a bulldog lickin piss off a nettle

he smelt like puppies piss in straw

Crumble Froo

actually, just while saying something to a kiwi, i was trying to think of something, and said 'emmmm...'... he thought it was hilarious.

apparently most people say 'um...', or 'am... '. :rolleyes:

Sofaspud

Takeshi_Kovacs wrote:

hehe nice one

a few more..
she had a face like a bulldog lickin piss off a nettle

I said that one in the same post you quoted :P

fonpokno

as my pappy says about someone chunky "s/he's built like a brick sh1thouse"... forgot it was funny until i said it to someone who'd never heard it the other day!

zildjian1

i'd eat a pregnant mink (galway word for itinerant/knacker)

okee

I love the word bollix sounds so much better than bollox.
also

"I've a horn that'd baet an Ass out of a sandpit."
"Like throwing a sausage up O Connell street"
" I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire"
"Now you're suckin diesel"

My favourite irish saying for any mental illness "he suffers from the nerves"
Or for any illness ranging from the flu to hitting a tree at 100mph with no seat belt "I had a bit of an aul Knock out"

Local phrases:
There was a guy we used to know called the snake, who was reputed to have a very large mickey and wasn't shy about it, when you'd ask him about it he'd use phrases such as
"I broke a mans collar bone with it"
"I drove denim an all up in her"

Or another guy we used to know who worked in a factory was going to lunch,
one of his friends said to him "jaysus I'm starving" our mate had a hole in his pocket, put his hand in pulled out his cock so the top of it was sticking out of his pocket and said "Would you aet a Tomato ?"

Nailz

"The FAI is a monument of professionalism."

!_Brian_!

mjquinno wrote:

tight

"if he had two diseases he wouldn't give you one"
"if you had a bandage in your back pocket he would cut himself"
"he would pull a penny into a copper wire"

Yer man's so tight I heard the gaurds were out looking for him the other day. Suspicion of breaking into a twenty! lol




She's no show pony but worth a ride around the house like!




If he got any slower you'd have to water him twice a week!



Your mother!

Shooter McGaven

fanny on er like a bulldog eating porridge!

GaryOR

Na bac le mac an bhacaigh, is ní bhacfaidh mac an bhacaigh leat

E003YRJ

"sound as a bell".............. in reference 2 someone

"Rare as rocking horse sh1te"

Xavi6

We defintiely have the best slang. Few more -

"Relax the cacks"

"Bleedin rapeh/deadly/savage man"

"Banjaxed"

"Barse" - Absolute genius

"Droppin the Cosbies off at the pool"

"Ah fair play to ya, yer on the ball"

"He's a bleedin head d' ball"

"Arse bandit/know jockey"

"Fun bags"

"Ask me hoop/swiss"

"Sh1tehawk"

Anything with bollix in it is brilliant.

mathew

"Banjaxed"

FunkyChicken

I hate pretty much all of these sayings

Red Hand

"Tis far from that you were raised!"

Paulj

"jasus thats wet rain" ...i reference to light drissly rain that get ya soaked in 10 seconds...

LovelyTom

she's tigh'er than a crabs hole

Giving out yards.

tis' a lazy wind! : wind on a cold day that doesn't go round you but through you (english saying)

dos30

Shan75 wrote:

Another good one is "Go way you handicap" which only works in a dodgy Limerick accent.

Another Limerick one

Handicapable Fella

GerryRyan

"as happy as a pig in sh1te" is a favourite of mine (kildare(ish) saying)

or

I've known him since he was knee high to a grasshopper" (need a thick bog accent)

lezizi

dos30 wrote:

Another Limerick one

Handicapable Fella

I have never heard that in limerick before

anomie_desuetud

"Stop the lights!". Good old Bunny Carr

Me Dad says, when you ask him how he's doing, "Still on the baker's list", as in, still alive

"She'd live in your ear" -Tight

L31mr0d

It's like the kettle callin' the pot black.