It's okay to be big.

Suaimhneach

Check this YouTube video out.

It is so important to be fit and healthy, and I am not taking away from that when I say "It's okay to be big". I just want to put it out there that it's not completely debilitating to be bigger, you can still live life to the full. It's not a disability, (within reason of course). Being over weight should not stop anyone having fun or going out or being happy. Other peoples judgements of you shouldnt matter.

If you have a healthy attitude you're much likelier to be a healthy person in mind and body.

A suggestion to the mod: Anonymous posting being enabled. Weight is a senative issue for a lot of people, maybe unreg posting should be available? (though this does require extra modding to be sure of no trolling).

Anyway, I just happened across this forum, and I'm all for posting helpful tips and encouraging people, but I think its important that people stay positive, and I dunno... the forum didnt give me that impression! I know its new tho, so wee!

neuro-praxis

Hey JesJes - I *really* enjoyed that video - Joy Nash is very refreshing and I agree with a lot of her sentiments. If people reading this haven't watched it - go spare the seven minutes.

However, as a girl who looks a whole lot like Joy Nash, I can confirm that if I ignore my weight, following in the footsteps of all of my family, I will develop diabetes, deep vein thrombosis, heart disease, arthritis and a whole host of the other ailments that have come before me. More immediately than that - by not shifting this weight I run the risk of infertility (I'm only 24). By attempting to shift my extra weight I am safeguarding my future. I think that, counter to what she says, if you are eating right and exercising and still not thin, then actually that's not ok. You need to look again at what you're eating. If I wished to be a size 8, I would need to starve myself, that much is true, and it would be ridiculous and pointless for me to strive for a media-induced ideal like this. But at 5'11" size 12-14 is where I should be at, not size 18-20.

I fear that adopting the idea that it's ok to be big leads into the territory of the BBW US culture (Big Beautiful Woman) where people gain and gain and gain and see it as a wonderful thing. Gaining weight is not a wonderful thing. It is a natural thing at certain life stages - but it needs to be kept under control.

Having said this, as someone who struggles with weight and tries to be honest and realistic about it, I can relate to her frustrations. But I think her positive attitude should be harnessed to get her to a lower weight - at 224lbs she is on her way to a heart attack, and we all get fatter as we get older, not thinner. I honestly think that we have got to be able to like ourselves no matter what our size - one of the reasons I have gained weight over the years is comfort eating to smother the low self-esteem about gaining weight - it's a vicious cycle. Liking myself more would have meant ironically that I didn't gain half as much. So she is right there - and right about how we should dress.

But you can't stop there. If Joy Nash shifted even 30lbs she would feel a hell of a lot better and would be reducing her risk of numerous cancers and diseases. That's more important than patting ourselves on the back and saying we're ok as we are. And as for what she says about not using fat as an excuse - I agree 100%. But her recipe for being thin - have two thin parents and four thin grandparents? I disagree completely. One of the reasons I am now comfortably losing weight is that I have finally accepted that I am one of those people who cannot eat what they want and still stay thin. That's a fact. I am over it. I am dealing with it. So should all of us fatties.

dubsgirl

neuro-praxis wrote:

I am one of those people who cannot eat what they want and still stay thin. That's a fact. I am over it. I am dealing with it. So should all of us fatties.

Brilliant statement - great way of dealing with it:)

I really enjoyed that video too well worth a watch...

Now back to me sausage sandwich!

Suaimhneach

neuro-praxis wrote:

Hey JesJes - I *really* enjoyed that video - Joy Nash is very refreshing and I agree with a lot of her sentiments. If people reading this haven't watched it - go spare the seven minutes.

However, as a girl who looks a whole lot like Joy Nash, I can confirm that if I ignore my weight, following in the footsteps of all of my family, I will develop diabetes, deep vein thrombosis, heart disease, arthritis and a whole host of the other ailments that have come before me. More immediately than that - by not shifting this weight I run the risk of infertility (I'm only 24). By attempting to shift my extra weight I am safeguarding my future. I think that, counter to what she says, if you are eating right and exercising and still not thin, then actually that's not ok. You need to look again at what you're eating. If I wished to be a size 8, I would need to starve myself, that much is true, and it would be ridiculous and pointless for me to strive for a media-induced ideal like this. But at 5'11" size 12-14 is where I should be at, not size 18-20.

I fear that adopting the idea that it's ok to be big leads into the territory of the BBW US culture (Big Beautiful Woman) where people gain and gain and gain and see it as a wonderful thing. Gaining weight is not a wonderful thing. It is a natural thing at certain life stages - but it needs to be kept under control.

Having said this, as someone who struggles with weight and tries to be honest and realistic about it, I can relate to her frustrations. But I think her positive attitude should be harnessed to get her to a lower weight - at 224lbs she is on her way to a heart attack, and we all get fatter as we get older, not thinner. I honestly think that we have got to be able to like ourselves no matter what our size - one of the reasons I have gained weight over the years is comfort eating to smother the low self-esteem about gaining weight - it's a vicious cycle. Liking myself more would have meant ironically that I didn't gain half as much. So she is right there - and right about how we should dress.

But you can't stop there. If Joy Nash shifted even 30lbs she would feel a hell of a lot better and would be reducing her risk of numerous cancers and diseases. That's more important than patting ourselves on the back and saying we're ok as we are. And as for what she says about not using fat as an excuse - I agree 100%. But her recipe for being thin - have two thin parents and four thin grandparents? I disagree completely. One of the reasons I am now comfortably losing weight is that I have finally accepted that I am one of those people who cannot eat what they want and still stay thin. That's a fact. I am over it. I am dealing with it. So should all of us fatties.

The reason I felt the need to post what I did was because of a lot of what you wrote. This over bearing fear of disease and such shouldnt be the main topic of this forum, imho. I did say that it is important to be fit and healthy, but I dont think it should be the main subject of a "nutrition and diet" forum. If it was "health awareness" or "risks of being overweight", then fair enough, but it's not.

Your attitude is right in the respect of the quote dubsgirl made, but the reason I posted this thread its that it's not the end of the world to be overweight, and that's how a lot of this came across so far on this forum.

Also, your signature... while almost funny isnt excatly fair. Its a nutrition and diet forum, not a weight management forum as I said before.

As for encouraging BBW, that's a slight push from what I was saying, which is "Be comfortable in your own skin".

I think you're projecting your own stuff onto this forum, and it might be misdirected. I mean, saying "I fear that adopting the idea that it's ok to be big leads into the territory of the BBW US culture" is a huge push from me saying "I just want to put it out there that it's not completely debilitating to be bigger, you can still live life to the full.". Y'know?

Listing off diseases like "diabetes, deep vein thrombosis, heart disease, arthritis" is not what I was talking about either. I did say "It is so important to be fit and healthy". I said it almost FIRST. I am not endorsing being over weight, I am trying to push the forum in the right direction.

neuro-praxis

Thanks for your post JesJes. I am really happy for you to bring your own angle to the forum - I am completely in favour of it.

But I will continue to do so too! Unfortunately it is fact that fatness is unhealthy. I absolutely agree that it doesn't have to hinder you living life to the full. (Although being fat has hindered me personally!)

I am also in complete agreement that we need to like ourselves. But I'm not going to move from the idea that losing weight to get our bodies down into a healthy weight range (which can vary by up to 30lbs) is in any way negative. It's not.

As for the diseases I listed, I am personally at risk of them. Every single one of my relatives that has died in the last thirty years has died from heart disease and heart-disease related conditions (stroke etc.). My grandmother died at age 53 after 10 years of illness and having her leg amputated. My father is a diabetic, and I have diabetic uncles and cousins on both sides. My gynaecologist has told me I can expect problems in conceiving if I don't lose weight. My point is JesJes that that's the road I'm heading down if I don't stop eating the pizza.

Perhaps there are lots of large people out there who are not at risk, and are neither suffering emotionally nor physically for their over-weightness. Good luck to them. I am not one of them and I want to promote a healthy, tasty, fulfilling and varied diet in this forum. That is the main topic of the forum - not disease. A quick look at the posts and you will agree.

I like myself by the way! I have a lot of fun with life, and am currently achieving a lot of life-goals - working on my Phd for one, growing my own vegetable garden for another! But the one thing I have failed in repeatedly is weight loss, but not anymore. I agree that being fat has not been the end of the world, but getting healthy sure is feeling good.

As for the signature, I put it in there to be a little provocative and invite people to click and visit the forum. I think by objecting to the word "fat" you are in fact saying that the word "fat" is unacceptable. Well I am fat - and that's ok! Now that that's out of the way I'm doing something about it.

I am still thinking about your suggestion to allow anonymous posting. I will think about it some more. I think allowing anonymous posting will continue the stigma of being fat - isn't that the exact opposite of what Joy Nash was saying? Admit your weight?

ali.c

Jesjes wrote:

Your attitude is right in the respect of the quote dubsgirl made, but the reason I posted this thread its that it's not the end of the world to be overweight, and that's how a lot of this came across so far on this forum.

Also, your signature... while almost funny isnt excatly fair. Its a nutrition and diet forum, not a weight management forum as I said before.

Tbh, i am still not wholly convinced that the topic of "Diet and nutrition" should of been seperated from fitness. As i see them as a holistic approach to a healthy lifestyle.

With regard to being overweight, its not the end of the world you are correct but it does put those who are carried excesses lipdose at risk a higher health risk. Also IMHO nutrition and health are inter-related and shouldnt be seperated per say. Granted i dont think that being slightly or moderately over-weight is immediately life threatening but at the same time when do you draw the line being what is going to affect your quality of life.

A diet high in processed foods is not good nutrition or healthy.

Honestly i dont really get your point, only if you are saying that nutrition and diet should be approached from a health point of view i agree but on the other hand if you are saying that weight management is not the be-all and end all of being healthy i get that too. Also one can be overweight (to an extent) and still be healthy and fit, if that was your point i agree with it too.

Otherwise i havent got a clue what point you were illustrating

Suaimhneach

Woah, I am so glad you took that post well Fair play for being level headed, most arent.

I agree that being over weight is unhealthy, and I am glad you agree that one should still live life to the full. The reason I posted this was because it was obvious from a lot of previous posts that there was so much negativity assosicaited with this. I wanted to reinforce that it SHOULDNT hinder people. Even if it is on the road to losing weight, or if someone never looses a pound, they should try to be happy. I just *really* wanted it said... a gleam of hope like.

You seem to have a healthy attitude towards it, and I sincerely wish you every bit of luck in the future with your goals. Obviously you're bringing a levelheadedness of your own experience to the forum, with regard to family diseases etc. I guess I just felt that a lot of the threads were based around the risk of being over weight instead of the benifits of losing weight! Trying to bring some positivity!

I wasnt trying to say you dont like yourself!

Re the signature. Its not that I object to the word fat, its that this forum is not about being fat. (At least based on the charter and forum name). Its misleading! It is provacative, and I do like that about it. Just putting it out there!

Just because we agree with Joy Nash, and can be empowered enough to accept and acknowledge our weight and try to do something about it doesnt mean that everyone can be. I mean, you yourself have admitted to letting it hinder you. Not everyone has the power or level of honesty to actually talk about it, in my opinion anyway.

It might be a nice outlet for some ppl. Just an idea.

Suaimhneach

ali.c wrote:

Tbh, i am still not wholly convinced that the topic of "Diet and nutrition" should of been seperated from fitness. As i see them as a holistic approach to a healthy lifestyle.

With regard to being overweight, its not the end of the world you are correct but it does put those who are carried excesses lipdose at risk a higher health risk. Also IMHO nutrition and health are inter-related and shouldnt be seperated per say. Granted i dont think that being slightly or moderately over-weight is immediately life threatening but at the same time when do you draw the line being what is going to affect your quality of life.

A diet high in processed foods is not good nutrition or healthy.

Honestly i dont really get your point, only if you are saying that nutrition and diet should be approached from a health point of view i agree but on the other hand if you are saying that weight management is not the be-all and end all of being healthy i get that too. Also one can be overweight (to an extent) and still be healthy and fit, if that was your point i agree with it too.

Otherwise i havent got a clue what point you were illustrating

My point was that this is a nutrition and diet forum, not a lose weight forum. And, that being over weight isnt the worst thing in the world and shouldnt hold people back from enjoying life.

Having a healthy diet and good nutrition are important, and seperate to fitness and I wasnt suggesting they be changed around.

ali.c

Jesjes wrote:

My point was that this is a nutrition and diet forum, not a lose weight forum. And, that being over weight isnt the worst thing in the world and shouldnt hold people back from enjoying life.

Having a healthy diet and good nutrition are important, and seperate to fitness and I wasnt suggesting they be changed around.

Then i agree with you, sorry my brain is complete mush today, as for the fitness thing thats just my opinion lol

Edit: Also you tube was blocked in work so i couldnt watch it earlier, opps in the context of the video your post makes a whole lot more sense. Liked the video, totally agree, i think if we all waited till we looked perfect before beginning to get our **** together we'd be a long time waiting. its quite a positive video, and I liked the point about you excercise and eat well and still arent skinny its not the end of the world. I try and fit my diet around my training rather than the other way around so yup i related a lot to that point. I also have found that eating well and training makes me a lot more confident for some reason irrespective of what i weight.

Talliesin

neuro-praxis wrote:

Every single one of my relatives that has died in the last thirty years has died from heart disease and heart-disease related conditions (stroke etc.).

Same with the men on one side of my family (except that they were all heart-disease, none of them heard-disease-related). They were plenty skinny too though; heart-disease correlates with being over-weight, but it's not the only thing involved.

I think Jesjes makes a very good point in terms of attitudes to size (though it should be easy for someone pretty like Jesjes to say "hey, be happy with how you look"). There are certainly health issues associated with being over weight, but there's far more BS around it also which is counter-productive including to attempts to lose weight.

There's also a hell of a lot of size-zero rubbish; and being underweight will injure you faster pound for pound.

neuro-praxis

Talliesin - you're right on a lot of things you say. However if anyone is above a healthy weight-range I believe it is in their best interest to take a look at it. How is it counter-productive for an overweight person to attempt to lose weight? Surely it only becomes counter-productive when people at healthy weights start aiming for size zero etc. etc.

North&South

Thanks for that link Jesjes....

I've thoroughly explored the whole 'fat way of thinking' this year. I weigh about the same as Joy Nash, although admittedly, I'm shorter! I should really be about 8 foot tall then I wouldn't be overweight at all!

Anyway, I am going to post a new thread, and fingers crossed I shall be entering 2008 in a new frame of mind... and new size clothes too!
Julie

ali.c

neuro-praxis wrote:

Talliesin - you're right on a lot of things you say. However if anyone is above a healthy weight-range I believe it is in their best interest to take a look at it. How is it counter-productive for an overweight person to attempt to lose weight? Surely it only becomes counter-productive when people at healthy weights start aiming for size zero etc. etc.

Define a healthy weight range though, the force you apply to a scales is not indicative of how healthy you are. There are plently of unhealthy skinny people too. IMHO the focus should not be on the scales at all, the mirror or bf measurement is a far healthier focus.

Even when i was lean, i was at the high end of healthy, and even now my goal weight will likely but me in the overweight category or some other such nonesense according to the BMI scale.

neuro-praxis

ali.c - that's fine - whatever works like.

I think we all know when we've gone beyond trim.

justsomebloke

ali.c wrote:

Define a healthy weight range though, the force you apply to a scales is not indicative of how healthy you are. There are plently of unhealthy skinny people too. IMHO the focus should not be on the scales at all, the mirror or bf measurement is a far healthier focus.

Even when i was lean, i was at the high end of healthy, and even now my goal weight will likely but me in the overweight category or some other such nonesense according to the BMI scale.

Ok this will probably be the only time that I ever say this but however in this forum I think BMI IS actually a good indicator to use. Although I think their are vast problems with the BMI scale I think that those who would wrongly be classed by the BMI scales won't be posting in this forum.

From the tone of the threads that I have read so far I don't think people's lean body mass is going to be adversely effecting their BMI reading as oppose to those who would be seeking advise about diet from the fitness forum so I think the BMI scales would be a good indicator for people here to use to aim for a "healthy" weight range.

Just remember being skinner does not nesseraly mean that you are healthier

ali.c

jsb wrote:

Ok this will probably be the only time that I ever say this but however in this forum I think BMI IS actually a good indicator to use. Although I think their are vast problems with the BMI scale I think that those who would wrongly be classed by the BMI scales won't be posting in this forum.

From the tone of the threads that I have read so far I don't think people's lean body mass is going to be adversely effecting their BMI reading as oppose to those who would be seeking advise about diet from the fitness forum so I think the BMI scales would be a good indicator for people here to use to aim for a "healthy" weight range.

Just remember being skinner does not nesseraly mean that you are healthier

Yeah but the OP was throwing out a change of direction for the forum, and in my personal opinion people should not assess stuff like weight or size based on what is defined as "normal".

neuro-praxis

It is my (non-professional) opinion that BMI is a fine indicator for the vast majority of people. It is what GPs and nutritionists use after all.

There are of course exceptions with people with very high percentages of muscle and bone, but it's really not something to get worked up about.

If we eat right and get regular exercise our bodies respond accordingly.

Talliesin

neuro-praxis wrote:

How is it counter-productive for an overweight person to attempt to lose weight?

Not what I was saying, low self-esteem caused by (often inflated) sense of oneself being fat can be counter-productive to an attempt to lose weight.

Certainly I've found that the opposite is true (being someone who has had weight problems, but where I was underweight).

/Edit:

Apart from which. The woman in the video isn't particularly overweight. Putting extra effort into getting thinner than she is is going to have to come from time and effort not put into other activities (including some which can affect her health). To label such weight as dangerous rather than merely not ideal is ridiculous. I've seen larger nutritionists for starters

Dragan

neuro-praxis wrote:

It is my (non-professional) opinion that BMI is a fine indicator for the vast majority of people. It is what GPs and nutritionists use after all.

Actually, in the space of the last 2 weeks I have spoken to 2 doctors, 2 nutritionists AND a dietician ( not too sure what the difference is there, apparently a dietician will deal with more "illness related dietary issues"? ) and none of them use the BMI with patients unless they need to shock them into a bit of self-realisation.

I found that to be pretty telling of the whole BMI issue.

neuro-praxis

My own GP and nutritionist use BMI charts. Obviously there are differing views on it.

Nevyn

BMI sucks donkey's balls if you have a wide frame to your body and a decent ammount of muscle and double so if you have those atributes and you are female.

fits

Thaedydal wrote:

BMI sucks donkey's balls if you have a wide frame to your body and a decent ammount of muscle and double so if you have those atributes and you are female.

Likewise for a small frame..

Stark

neuro-praxis wrote:

My own GP and nutritionist use BMI charts. Obviously there are differing views on it.

I'd say it's good for determining if someone is obese. ie: you're 20 stone and 5' tall, you're obviously a fat bastard unless you're an Olympic bodybuilder. For determining if someone is in the narrow "normal weight" range though, it's ****e. You could start hitting the gym, lose a load of body fat, but find your weight has increased as you've put on a bit of muscle in your workouts (muscle is 3 times as dense as fat). Body fat % is a much better measure, and you should really be asking for this off your GP/nutritionalist.

Sangre

your sig neuro summons up everything about why I didn't want this thread being separated from fitness.

neuro-praxis

The sig is a joke...it's meant to be provocative and encourage people to click. Sheesh.

eth0_

That woman is not that most people would consider 'fat'. She's a bit overweight but in a curvy way.

Most feel disgust when they look at actual obese people (this has been proven in a few psychological studies!), I guess it's an evolutionary thing - this person would not be a good mate.

Telling obese people that it's "ok" to be that fat is dangerous - it's just as bad as encouraging an anorexic to be happy with their unhealthy size.

Nevyn

This thread is about telling people it is ok to be big not fat.
There are some people who will never be smaller then a size 16 with out damaging thier health, they are just big and a certain size does not mean a person is fat.

Suaimhneach

Oh for the love of....

The message is: Be happy with who you are, and dont let your size drag you down.

If being happy is losing weight, or being big, or being skinny or being FAT, just be fu cking happy. Typical that this thread should go the opposite way. Is it so hard to merely say "Live life to the full no matter what" without getting people saying that that cant be!?

The point it seems for most has been completely missed, so let it die.

fits

Actually I only just watched the video earlier today, and I thought it was really great.

Sangre

Jesjes wrote:

Typical that this thread should go the opposite way. Is it so hard to merely say "Live life to the full no matter what" without getting people saying that that cant be!?

Well, yes because its an utterly retarded saying.

Yeah, live every day of your life to the MAXIUM EXTREME, who cares about the consequences of your actions because you're living EVERY DAY AS IF ITS YOUR LAST, don't worry about responsibilities or education or health or dependants because you're LIVING LIFE TO THE FULL NO MATTER WHAT.....YEAH.

Nevyn

Sangre you just don't get it.

Suaimhneach

Sangre wrote:

Well, yes because its an utterly retarded saying.

Yeah, live every day of your life to the MAXIUM EXTREME, who cares about the consequences of your actions because you're living EVERY DAY AS IF ITS YOUR LAST, don't worry about responsibilities or education or health or dependants because you're LIVING LIFE TO THE FULL NO MATTER WHAT.....YEAH.

As Thaed said, you just dont get it. So no worries.

Stark

Who cares about cancer tomorrow? You're drinking Pepsi Max now man!

Vegeta

Yeah i agree with Sangre I'm afraid

Overweight people should never be looked down upon or treated differently due to their weight but the fact remains that being overweight has a host of problems. Of course you can lead a very happy life being fat or big or overweight

but you cannot say its ok to be big and just choose to ignore that it has elevated health risks.

So yes, enjoy your life regardless of shape or size but there will be less life to enjoy if you don't take care of youself.

Suaimhneach

I DIDNT SAY THAT
READ THE FIRST POST AGAIN, fools.

Thats all for now..

*roll eyes*

g'em

No need to resort to name calling Jesjes, I hardly think it's going to make anyone more agreeable to your point?

The originl post was not put up to defend obese or extremely overweight people, it's message is simply to be happy in your own skin and accept who you are even if you're a little bigger than what's considered the norm.

Nobody is denying that carrying an awful lot of extra weight is extremely detrimental to your health but for many people there is such a thing as a middle ground - not conforming to the skinny ideals in popular media, and not sucumbing to the pressure of having to be that way to be happy or succesful but maintaining a weight that allows you to lead a full, healthy life.

Jesjes wrote:

Be happy with who you are, and dont let your size drag you down.

There's constant pressure now to be the 'right' size. Carrying a little extra is not going to condemn you to an early grave as long as you look after yourself - it's not about looking perfectly chiselled or grossly fat, there's plenty of middle ground between the two extremes. It's up to us to decide what part of that scale we're happy with and that lets us live to our full potential without putting our health at risk.

Vegeta

Jesjes wrote:

The message is: Be happy with who you are, and dont let your size drag you down.
.

People have accepted this all throughout the thread. Why cant you get that??

People have agreed with "Be happy with who you are, and dont let your size drag you down" but have just put in the little important bit of information that being overweight or underweight is not the best for your health.

Its not a complicated point

Sangre

its a stupid saying in general, I wasn't referring specficially to your original assertion 'its ok to big'.

nesf

neuro-praxis wrote:

It is my (non-professional) opinion that BMI is a fine indicator for the vast majority of people. It is what GPs and nutritionists use after all.

It's not as simple as that. In the right hands the BMI might be somewhat useful but really GPs and nutritionists have better ways of assessing someone's health. The fact that it's really easy to use might be its biggest problem imho.

nesf

Vegeta wrote:

Overweight people should never be looked down upon or treated differently due to their weight but the fact remains that being overweight has a host of problems. Of course you can lead a very happy life being fat or big or overweight.

Define overweight. It's really easy to justify the above if you point to morbidly obese people but if you pointed to people with a BMI of 26 for instance it gets a lot more complicated.

eth0 wrote:

That woman is not that most people would consider 'fat'. She's a bit overweight but in a curvy way.

I'd consider her overweight in a fat way not a curvy way tbh. But that's just my opinion.

Sangre

Jesjes wrote:

As Thaed said, you just dont get it. So no worries.

Seriously enlighten me, I don't see why anyone should be particulary happy about something they want to change and which they can change but they haven't or won't yet, whether this be their weight, strength, fitness, education, work life or love life. Obviously they're not happy and want this changed, otherwise you wouldn't need to tell them to be happy. Of course, I'm not advocating spiralling into depression over it but there is no reason to settle because the situation hasn't magically changed itself.

ali.c

the message that i got from the video, is that being fat is not an excuse to put your life on hold. i.e. it is not an excuse to play the when if i look better then i'll go for a run or do x y or z. There is alot of stigma attached to being bigger, its not something to be ashamed of or put your life on hold over. This is just my view and i have stated it a few times elsewhere, defining your self worth by fitting into statisical boxes on what you should look like is not something that is going to help you get the most out of life. If you have a healthy lifestyle that will help you a damn lot more towards livign your life to the full than focusing all your energies towards losing weight which IMHO is not the key to a healthy lifestyle.

Suaimhneach

Sangre wrote:

Seriously enlighten me, I don't see why anyone should be particulary happy about something they want to change and which they can change but they haven't or won't yet, whether this be their weight, strength, fitness, education, work life or love life. Obviously they're not happy and want this changed, otherwise you wouldn't need to tell them to be happy. Of course, I'm not advocating spiralling into depression over it but there is no reason to settle because the situation hasn't magically changed itself.

one last time I'll try and explain it. Nothing in life should hold you back from enjoying yourself. Regardless of whether you are on a path to fitness or not. dont let it destroy your self confidence or ability to enjoy yourself.

Maybe you dont understand the fact that some ppl do let their weight stop them actually being happy. And thats what I was trying to get across, that they shouldnt.

Dudess

But if your size is dragging you down, then actually trying to reduce your size would be far more beneficial than simply training yourself to think "I'm not gonna let my size get me down".

nesf

Jesjes wrote:

one last time I'll try and explain it. Nothing in life should hold you back from enjoying yourself. Regardless of whether you are on a path to fitness or not. dont let it destroy your self confidence or ability to enjoy yourself.

Maybe you dont understand the fact that some ppl do let their weight stop them actually being happy. And thats what I was trying to get across, that they shouldnt.

I don't think most reasonable people would disagree with you. There is the issue of being obese and the myriad of serious health problems that it brings with it, but these people aren't just "overweight", their weight is a genuine problem for them. Most people who are overweight aren't in this position to be fair.

Your weight shouldn't destroy your self-confidence but there is a health issue if you leave it go too far and people should be aware of this.

Sangre

But if your size is dragging you down, then actually trying to reduce your size would be far more beneficial than simply training yourself to think "I'm not gonna let my size get me down".

which is the view I'd take.

If something is making you unhappy and you've it within your power to change it, then change it. Don't accept the situation and try and convince yourself you're actually happy with it. This has nothing to do with health or even weight per se, it applies to loads of things.

Explain all you want jesjes, I don't agree with you.

Dudess

Jesjes wrote:

one last time I'll try and explain it. Nothing in life should hold you back from enjoying yourself. Regardless of whether you are on a path to fitness or not. dont let it destroy your self confidence or ability to enjoy yourself.

Maybe you dont understand the fact that some ppl do let their weight stop them actually being happy. And thats what I was trying to get across, that they shouldnt.

Some people who are overweight are highly confident people and obviously don't give a **** that they're fat - and more power to them. My mate is 5 ft nothing and nearly 15 stone but she heads out on the razz every weekend, dresses to the nines and always has a fella on the go.
However, some people who are overweight feel restricted in so many respects - no amount of convincing themselves that there's more to them than their size can compensate for what weight loss will do for them. And they're not gonna be able to make themselves think the same way that my mate does.
But yes, being overweight shouldn't cause feelings of self-hatred, because that will only lead to more eating and thus, more weight gain. Having such a negative mindset will probably make it more difficult to implement a healthy eating and exercise programme anyway. And if your weight truly restricts you, you probably won't even be able to go out for a walk due to being so self-conscious. So yes, you certainly shouldn't let your weight affect your self-belief to that extent.
I think most people though - not all but most - who are overweight, no matter how confident they are, would happily take out a massive bank loan for a miracle overnight weight-loss fix if it existed.

WindSock

Dudess wrote:

I think most people though - not all but most - who are overweight, no matter how confident they are, would happily take out a massive bank loan for a miracle overnight weight-loss fix if it existed.

Like Lipo?

Yes, I agree. If you aren't happy with yourself then it would be harder to change your ideals than your body. And changing your ideals is changing what essentially is 'you'. So how can you ever be yourself then?

Suaimhneach

Sangre wrote:

Seriously enlighten me

Sangre wrote:

Explain all you want jesjes, I don't agree with you.

It's not like I was randomly making an effort here in my attempts to explain, you did ASK Sangre.

Either way, you dont need to understand, because "It's okay to be big" was aimed at people who are stuck feeling depressed and unhappy with their size. If you read my first post properly you will see I am not encouraging ppl to stay at an unhealthy size, merely not to let life pass you by while you are at this size.

You obviously do not understand this, and that is okay. As I said, it is not intended for you. However, now the original point I was making has been lost in a myraid of bit ching and moaning. Way to go you guys!

Let the thread die...

Dudess

I think though, Jesjes, that there are some people who simply CAN'T stop their weight from getting them down - and no amount of telling them "it's ok to be big" will help, however well-intentioned.

Nevyn

This has to be the most frustrating thread I have read in a very , very long time here on boards.

Big =|= fat.

I am a size 18 and if someone called me fat they would get quite a shock as I round on them and they would see my fists are big not fat.

If you are a bigger sized person then you are labelled a whole heap of things.

I am 1 size up from what I prolly should be and not carrying an excessive amount of weight for my build and the amount of muscle on my frame.
I don't suffer from any health issues from it.

Now if that 1 size up was a 12 to a 14 not an eye lid would bat at it.

But as a size 18 is seen as "fat" due to me being big then all sorts of assumptions are made about me as a person that I am lazy, lack motivation, lack self control, lack self confidence, have self esteem issue, have personal hygiene issues and that I am stupid.

Being treated like that will get anyone down, not being able to get clothes that fit correctly or else look like they should be worn by my mother who is in her 50s also gets a person down.

So while most of the time my size which is big from my hat size to my foot size doesn't bother me or stop me form doing things due to my force of personality there are women out there who are 'big' and are treated like they should be trying harder.

That if they only lost that extra two stone or so that they would be happier and smaller and they get this from people who are themselves not perfect and carrying extra weight.

Even if I manage to get rid of the excess I do have and tone and trim up then
chances are I still will not fit properly into size 16 clothes due to muscle mass and having my hips drop/widen when I had children. Hell I have had size 16 trousers not go up my thighs where I have no excess fat where they are just muscle, why because I am big.

A big build person carrying say 2 stone extra weight is treated a lot differently when a smaller build person carrying 2 stone extra weight once they are with in a socially accepted size.

Even if I were to get my fat percentage down to the lowest healthy % possible for a female ( which is 14 - 23 % due to me bening over 30) I would still be big and in fact most likely over all bigger again due to increased and toned muscle mass.
Which would impact on what curves I have which soften my big build and make it more feminine.

Once a person is fit and their health is not being impacted then if they are 1 size up from the ideal which is possible for their frame so what life is for living
and I am damned if I am going to let my size and other peoples ignorance treat me as a lesser person.

Big does not always equal fat and obese.