"Dirty" Words

barneysplash

Here are some words you shoudn't really use in polite company.
Try "slipping one in" into conversations now and then, just for fun!

1 Throbbing
2 Moisten
3 Penetrate
4 Spurt
5 Wetness
6 Lubricated
7 Tossed
8 Spread
9 Engorged
10 Glistening
11 Harden
12 Tackle
13 Tight
14 Lunchbox
15 Spit
16 Perky
17 Shaft
18 Tool
19 Vibrated
20 Swat
21 Clematis
(This is a type of flower, not to be confused with that elusive female erogenous zone, which,
as all the real men know, is located on the left elbow.)
24 Load
25 Inches
26 Erect
27 Splashed
28 Climax
29 Member
30 Bilingual
31 Loose
32 Skewer
33 Juices
34 Rim
35 Swallowed
36 Plums
37 Melons
38 Sticky
39 Hood
40 Girth
41 Manhood
42 Pumped
43 Oral
44 Mutual
45 Come
46 Banana
47 Organism
(No, read it again s-l-o-w-l-y)
49 Taken
50 Spasm
51 Damp
52 Sucked
53 Facial
(Girls, you have to be careful with this one. In female company, this word means a
refreshing beauty treatment. But if there are any men in the vacinity, they'll be
thinking about doing something else entirely, the dirty feckers.)
57 Length
58 Pulsating
59 Rubber
60 Cream
61 Fluids
62 Pounding
63 Gushed
64 Sprayed
65 Erupt
66 Helmet
67 Swelling
68 Stud
69 Stiffen
70 Pasage
71 Injection
72 Plaster
73 Splatter
74 Organ
75 Mouthful
76 Blowing
77 Bulbous
78 Bulging
79 Drooping



These words are used very effectively in women's "romance" books. For example, here's an edited
excerpt from the new bonkbuster, "Flames of Passion" by acclaimed smut author, Shelly Duvelle:

"Marco stood naked in the doorway of the balcony watching her. The moonlight seemed to cling to his flawless olive skin.
Veronica awoke suddenly, and saw him standing there brandishing his 58 67 in his strong peasant's hands. He advanced boldly into the bedroom, and stood brazenly at the foot of her four poster bed. Veronica felt her 39 begin to 2.

"I hava come for youa Lady Veronica" he breathed. "I a wanna make a you feela like a Princess." His heavy Italian accent seemed like honey on her 16 37. She could feel the silk next to her most private place become 51.

Marco climbed on to the bed, his eyes locked on hers, and began to stroke his enormous 41. Veronica was entranced, like a cobra to the snakecharmer. A hot flush of blood crackled through ber veins - he meant to 49 her. His huge 66 was purple with desire, she could feel her 70 become 5 with anticipation.
"Oh Marco, we shoudn't" she heard herself whimper. She could resist no more, she must have his beautiful 18 inside her..."


So there you have it. Words can be filthy, dirty, funny things. You can plant mucky visions and ideas in people's heads without having to use any f-words. Unless the f words are flange, flaps or flopping.

Sea Sharp

omfg, hahahahahahahahahahahaha, that's so funny, lol, lmao,that made my day etc...
















(Yes, I'm being sarcastic)

Mellor

barneysplash wrote:

Try "slipping one in" into conversations now and then, just for fun!

2 Moisten
5 Wetness
7 Tossed
8 Spread
11 Harden
12 Tackle
13 Tight
14 Lunchbox
15 Spit
18 Tool
20 Swat
24 Load
25 Inches
27 Splashed
29 Member
30 Bilingual
31 Loose
32 Skewer
33 Juices
34 Rim
35 Swallowed
36 Plums
37 Melons
38 Sticky
39 Hood
44 Mutual
45 Come
46 Banana
49 Taken
51 Damp
53 Facial
57 Length
59 Rubber
60 Cream
62 Pounding
64 Sprayed
65 Erupt
66 Helmet
67 Swelling
68 Stud
70 Pasage
72 Plaster
73 Splatter
74 Organ
75 Mouthful
76 Blowing
77 Bulbous
78 Bulging
79 Drooping

I took out the following words to highlight how sad that list was. Of course the above words can be used in a dirty context, but its hardly their main use. And slipping one into everyday conversation is neither hard nor funny.
For example number 70, plaster, most common usage is probably a child running in holding scrapped knee asking for a plaster,<snip> unwarrented personal comment removed - Hagar, also inches is used alot, hardly dirty, you don't start giggling you if you hear a building shouting for a 4 inch block, or maybe you do

Ghost Train

I can sort of imagine Eddie O'Sullivan using a high percentage of those words in one of his half time pep talk
"Lads stop throbbing, now's your chance to penetrate, the ground is starting to moisten, glistening with the wetness and the rain, just like Landsdown. The way you've tossed the ball in the last play, keep it lubricated, spread the ball wide, harden the scrum, get in tight in the tackle, forget about the old engorged lunchbox and spit blood in their faces. Nows your chance to tool an opening in the defence, just swat off the tackles, stay erect, if the fowards can exert their load up inches from the line, like in the first half when we splashed over. Re-Member that bilingual ref with the loose whistle will make it vibrate... etc"

Plug

GaNjaHaN wrote:

omfg, hahahahahahahahahahahaha, that's so funny, lol, lmao,that made my day etc...
















(Yes, I'm being sarcastic)

:rolleyes:

Little newbie wants to be internet hard then does he?

sillymoo2007

eolhc wrote:

I can sort of imagine Eddie O'Sullivan using a high percentage of those words in one of his half time pep talk
"Lads stop throbbing, now's your chance to penetrate, the ground is starting to moisten, glistening with the wetness and the rain, just like Landsdown. The way you've tossed the ball in the last play, keep it lubricated, spread the ball wide, harden the scrum, get in tight in the tackle, forget about the old engorged lunchbox and spit blood in their faces. Nows your chance to tool an opening in the defence, just swat off the tackles, stay erect, if the fowards can exert their load up inches from the line, like in the first half when we splashed over. Re-Member that bilingual ref with the loose whistle will make it vibrate... etc"

lol thats better than the posted joke

Hagar

@ GaNjaHaN & Mellor

Read the Charter, specifically the bit about "no critical posts use the thread rating system".

Any more crap and well... watch out for Nazis...

Plug

Hagar wrote:

@ GaNjaHaN & Mellor

Read the Charter, specifically the bit about "no critical posts use the thread rating system".

Any more crap and well... watch out for Nazis...

Careful now, down with this sort of thing!

barneysplash

Yes, I think the eddie o'sullivan thing is great, these kend of words are always good when used in the context of sporting pep talks or commentary
I'm sure these have been uploaded many times but here are some classic examples of sporting double entendres:


"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..." ANDY GRAY, Sky Sport

"Mark Hughes at his very best: he loves to feel people right behind him..."
KEVIN KEEGAN


"He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!"
George Hamilton as Butreguanio comes off against Ireland.

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
(Metro Radio Sports Commentary)

Grand National winning jockey Mick Fitzgerald : "Sex is an anti-climax after that!" Desmond Lynam : "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everyone saw that." (BBC)

Sea Sharp

Little newbie wants to be internet hard then does he?

Them's fighting words. I challenge you to a game of tekken.

i had an a/c but didn't log on 4 a while, and lost the original email etc, 2005 is newbie IMO.

Plug

Ahh but its only 3 months off 3 years, so im here a while.

Sea Sharp

three years smhree years. I was posting on this as far back as the year of twenty o' one.
And yes, I do beleive I deserve a medal

Hagar

It'll be posthumous...

Take the hint, I have a real bad case of gobshyteophobia, anything could happen.

Plug

Hagar wrote:

It'll be posthumous...

Take the hint, I have a real bad case of gobshyteophobia, anything could happen.

Shut char moot!

Sea Sharp

Plug, dude, that's totally not cool. He's subtly threatening to ban us.:eek:

Come to think of it, I really did like the OP. It was funny in a Graham Norton in Father Ted kind of way. Well if you picture him reading it out and laughing histericaly at each word.

Plug

Im not going to be banned, im a neo nazi afterall.....